How do you act with swinging friends in non-swinging (public) places?

[sensuality 2]

Hello everyone. There's something my husband and I were talking about yesterday and I wanted to put it out here and get some feedback!

 

When you are out in public (a non-swinging atmosphere) with another couple you've spent time with, would you still allow "light" swapping activities? Such as...if you're at a dance club, would you allow your wife/husband to dance with the wife/husband of the other couple? How about flirting? Is it appropriate to flirt openly out in public? We feel like those activities should be saved for when we are in the "swinging" atmosphere, i.e. a swing club or house party. I've read a few posts where the women and even some men seem to cross the line...like immediately hanging all over the wife/husband of the couple they're out with. Perhaps it depends on how long you've known the couple and your own comfort zone?

 

What do you all think??

[Vespertine 31]

Hello everyone...

if you're at a dance club..would you allow your wife/husband to dance with the wife/husband of the other couple? How about flirting?Is it appropriate to flirt openly out in public? What do you all think??

 

Mr. V & I haven't had the pleasure of attending a swing club -yet-.

 

....and we haven't had any experience with another couple.

 

BUT...we have experience with another guy we go out with a lot & if we're at a dance club Mr. V always sends us out to the dance floor.

 

And we are BIG time flirts.

 

Not at church or anything....LOL.....but out at night in an adult atmosphere.

[DBL D 120]

Hi CPL4PLAYinCAL,

 

What a great question!!!. We were with a couple on a meet/greet at Chevy's and she had her foot in my crotch before I knew what was happening. Surrender They weren't from the area but we were. Fem D knew this and it made her nervous about a lot of stuff-esp since this ladies hubby was being Good! That won't happen again. I could have been recognized and then how does one explain that?!!!

 

However, it's always been ok to dance with your friends wife if he's ok with it. It just depends on HOW you dance, eh? At a swingers dance club you should have no worries.

 

It also depends on how "open" you want to be about your life. The other couple may not agree with your view, however.

 

Male D

[Vespertine 31]

Hi CPL4PLAYinCAL,

 

What a great question!!!. We were with a couple on a meet/greet at Chevy's and she had her foot in my crotch before I knew what was happening.

Male D

 

 

That's foreplay, not flirting!

 

Just to clarify my above post:

 

I am not THAT kind of flirt!

 

We're good flirts!

[LadyCleo 16]

Several weeks ago, my husband, two other couples and I went to a local bar to flirt and play pool. There was a lot of ass grabbing and a couple of stolen F2F kisses. We all had a great time. It was the type of flirting that singles might do...maybe a little bit more. Apparently, we got some looks and compliments about how fun we all looked. It was really too bad no one came up to introduce themselves rather than just having us for eye candy!

 

LC

 

BTW, to answer your question, I wouldn't have a problem with the F half of the other couple dancing or flirting with my husband. If someone saw it that you didn't want to, you could always blame it on having too much to drink...

[DBL D 120]

Hi Vespertine,

 

Well, I apologize if you felt I was labeling you. It was not meant to come through like that. I was just relating one of THOSE stories. When I thought about it later, I was mortified, and no story about too much alcohol would have solved the problem. ( no disrespect intended, LadyCleo...if you know what I mean. )

 

Male D

[mrs good times 73]

We do not like public foreplay or flirting with our swing friends in non swing situations. We have had this happen once. At a non swing bar the male half kissed me and we found out a few minutes later that one of my husbands customers was sitting at the bar. I don't know if the customer saw anything but its not worth the risk to us. Needless to say we have not gone anywhere else with this couple since as there idea of discretion is obviously different than ours.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I don't see anything wrong with dancing with the other couple while you are out at a dance club and I don't think even your most vanilla friends would either. Beyond that, the only thing I would be concerned about is the chance of running into someone that you know from your regular life and what they might assume from what they see.

[Elusive BiFem 70]

We were with a couple on a meet/greet at Chevy's and she had her foot in my crotch before I knew what was happening. Surrender They weren't from the area but we were. Fem D knew this and it made her nervous about a lot of stuff-esp since this ladies hubby was being Good! That won't happen again. I could have been recognized and then how does one explain that?!!!

 

I'm assuming this was a meet/greet...just to get to know you type of thing? And no intent to play was discussed prior to the meeting? If that is the case, I think I would have been royally perturbed that someone would assume this type of display would be acceptable. In fact, I don't know that it would be acceptable under any circumstances. A bit presumptive of this woman, I think. Did you do anything to stop it? As in saying, "stop it. This isn't the time or place for that."

 

I had to laugh as I read this. I wonder what Mr. and/or Mrs. Alura would have done or thought if I had come across like that when I met them for dinner a year or so ago? Care to comment, Mr. Alura?

 

As far as couples going out on a "vanilla" type of date and flirting, I see nothing wrong with a bit of that. I've been out on dates with other couples long before I even knew what swinging was or that it existed and there was occasionally light flirting/dancing going both ways. In most respects, that is just some normal human behavior and generally harmless. Also, after you've slept with someone, it is really hard to pretend like you haven't. There is a sense of familiarity that now exist that wasn't there before. I think people should be aware, tho', of their surroundings and not put others at risk in terms of "exposure."

 

- EBF

[CB_n_Red 16]

Well, we've indulged in a bit of snogging with potential playmates in a normal pub. Red feels that a kiss (or three) is the best way to decide if there is sufficient spark for things to progress and I am inclined to agree with her. So to answer the question, a bit of this or that (but not too much!) in a more public place is not problem for us.

 

CB

[Vespertine 31]

Hi Vespertine,

 

Well, I apologize if you felt I was labeling you. It was not meant to come through like that. I was just relating one of THOSE stories. When I thought about it later, I was mortified, and no story about too much alcohol would have solved the problem. ( no disrespect intended, LadyCleo...if you know what I mean. )

 

Male D

 

Hey Male D!

 

I in no way felt you were labeling me.

 

In fact, I didn't think your post came across that way either.

 

There is no need for an apology to me, Silly Boy!

[jcbicouple 24]

We think it all depends on your comfort level, and if you're meeting potential playmates at a vanilla place, you should discuss your comfort level. We love to flirt, dance, kiss, when we're out with playmates or potential playmates (pending the spark is there of course) but only if we are far enough away from home that we feel confident that the risk is low. Whenever we meet someone closer to home for a meet/greet we make sure they know that we can't flirt, play, or what not. We don't meet people that close very often, but we've never had a problem when we have.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Thought this was a pretty interesting question that I would bump back up. How do you all feel about this?

[personal416 71]

We generally just act like we're vanilla couples out together for {fill in the vanilla activity}. There is generally more flirting and verbal interplay, but then again, we've always been around vanilla friends that were full of innuendo also, so it's really not all that different.

 

I think we've playfully slapped each other on the ass playing pool and such, and if eating breakfast the morning after in a public place, we exchanged brief kisses and hugs, but the good stuff stays behind closed doors or in the company of swingers for us.

[cocpl2007 170]

In Vanilla situations, we are Vanilla all the way.

[Malachista 170]

Once I said "hello" to someone I know from a club out on a street.

He was alone, but he still was angry at me, because he didn't want to know me outside of a club....

 

Thankfully, others have less a problem with this... and are even ready to go and have a drink, or see a concert or sit with you in the cinema.

In this places it is ok to flirt a little, perhaps even kiss and fumble, but everything else does not belong in the public

[havefuninsun 122]

In Vanilla situations, we are Vanilla all the way.

 

 

I think the real question is, what is your vanilla behavior?

 

Both Mr. Fun and I are flirts; if I think I can get by with flirting with someone without anyone getting upset about it, I'm going to do it. I'm not sure Mr. Fun even thinks about the upsetting part ... LOL ... he's just a flirt. He flirts with waitresses, classmates, my vanilla girlfriends ... it doesn't matter.

 

So the SIMPLE answer to the original OP is yes, we'd be flirting and dancing with our friends, but we'd be doing so no matter what.

 

WITH THAT SAID, we'd do nothing to make eyebrows raise if someone were watching us. I wouldn't kiss all over the other Mr. (or Mrs. hehehe). We know how to behave. I'd hate to run into anyone we knew (them or us) and have that person wonder about the relationship.

 

So we act as vanilla as can be, but in our butterscotch way.

[twoready4fun 15]

We tend to stay with our "real" partner and flirt with the other partner when we are in public. Nothing overtly sexual, but just friendly touching and talking.

[WeMayTryIt 120]

In public, we may do some very light flirting, nothing that would give most vanilla people pause. Bottom line is, where we live, there's probably a pretty good chance that we'll bump into vanillas we know, and having them see me with my tongue down another woman's throat while my wife is standing by, or vice-versa, would be less than comfortable. We have no problem acting vanilla in public. We attend vanilla parties with some of our swinging friends, where we and the other couple are the only swingers, and nobody has a clue.

[WesternSwing 504]

Wow, we've run the gamut from straight vanilla behavior to kissing and touching, and everything in between. It depends on where we are at. Restaurants, we are friendly, but no more so than any other couples out together. At bars and nightclubs it probably gets a little more friendly overall. It's kind of our own little game that leaves others in the bar wondering who we go home with at the end of the night.

 

Mr. WS

[petra6998 15]

I have to say no to kissing or things beyond that in public view, sneaked ass grabs maybe, flirting yes, sitting between the other partner yes. In our small town everyone knows everyone, they just think we are friendly, lol.

[alphaplaycpl 110]

Flirting is pretty common for us in vanilla situations, both with swingers and with vanilla friends. We make sure it is very subtle; eye contact alone can be enough. Flirting is great in public! More than that would be very risky.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

We usually keep it pretty vanilla. There will be some knowing glances, some giggling from inside jokes, but no physical contact that would be inappropriate in general vanilla society.

 

Now, we shared a ride, and there was some touchy-feely in the car itself...

 

Other then that, though, to a casual observer, we were just two "normal", if goofy, couples out for dinner / movie / whatever.