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SouthOfTheRiverCpl

Dryness/Discomfort - Practical Solutions

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Disclaimer: We are not seeking medical advice...rather practical solutions to our current situation.

 

We are a mid-fifties couple and currently inactive with others in the lifestyle which will become clear as you read.  Three years ago, Mrs. sailed through menopause without a single hotflash, night sweat or any other of the typical indicators.  Recently, however, she is experiencing dryness and outright discomfort during PIV sex.  Something that was once lengthy with repeat events during a takeover/house party or solo has been reduced to less than 10 minutes due to discomfort--and then no more.  This has been followed by a few days of true discomfort for her.  At present she is using estradiol (which so far what seems to be of questionable efficacy as lengthy PIV sex remains uncomfortable).  On the advice of her OBGYN we are working our way through (and incorporating) a broad range of lubricants-water based, silicone, CBD (we are researching the Foria brand of products), something else? Our question to the ladies who have been in this boat is "What has worked for you?".  Is there something specific we should ask the OBGYN at her next appointment? In your experience, does this situation improve with time/continued treatment?  TIA

Edited by SouthOfTheRiverCpl

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We went through similar search and settled out on:

1. The Estrace Ring. https://www.estring.com/ Much less messy than estradiol cream; and

2. Sliquid Organics Natural lubricant https://sliquid.com/shop/sliquid-organics/organics-aloe-based/natural-sliquid-organics/ ; and 

3. The Lube Launcher https://www.organicloven.com/lube-launcher/  when we are planning prolonged playtime (to place the lube well into the vaginal vault). 

 

Is the discomfort vaginal, vulvar, or perineal? It's not uncommon post menopause to develop some chronic inflammation +/- dermatophytes (intertrigo) in the moist crevices adjacent to the introitus , and if present that issue has to be considered separately. 

 

We went through a range of lubricants before finding the least "chemical", most "natural" product that has worked perfectly. 

 

Pro Tip: Lube gets spilled and fluids flow. The Liberator Throw https://www.liberator.com/fascinator-throw.html is soft, absorbent, does not leak, and softens further with washing. They stand up to frequent use and being thrown into the washing machine. A few around the house promote spontaneity, they look perfectly in place over the back of the sofa, at the foot of the bed , on an easy chair etc.  We are customers of Liberator products but have no other relationship with the company. 

 

 

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Good info.  Thanks.  We've settled in with the Sliquid with decent results but will order the lube laucher tonight. We will make certain the "estring" is a "talker" at the next appointment.

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31 minutes ago, SouthOfTheRiverCpl said:

Good info.  Thanks.  We've settled in with the Sliquid with decent results but will order the lube laucher tonight. We will make certain the "estring" is a "talker" at the next appointment.

There are so many variants of Sliquid, be *sure* you are getting the organic one listed. It does make a difference...to us at least.

The lube launcher is available lots of places including Amazon, Walmart etc. 

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I had the same problem, posted here and received some positive feedback. My GYN never mentioned a launcher, I learned about it here and it has worked well. We did use a few lubricants that partially worked just not perfect. A launcher is similar to a syringe, we call it a turkey baster and added a new dimension to our home fun too. 
Menopause was a blessing at first not missing a regular timeout period, then the side effects came on. We all go through it and I was dealing without discussing. 
Good luck, try to make the solution fun. 

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21 hours ago, ROCKlandCpl said:

I had the same problem, posted here and received some positive feedback. My GYN never mentioned a launcher, I learned about it here and it has worked well. We did use a few lubricants that partially worked just not perfect. A launcher is similar to a syringe, we call it a turkey baster and added a new dimension to our home fun too. 
Menopause was a blessing at first not missing a regular timeout period, then the side effects came on. We all go through it and I was dealing without discussing. 
Good luck, try to make the solution fun. 

The launcher is in the Amazon basket as we speak.  We are curious to know if your level of lifestyle participation/interactions with couples/singles is back to your "normal" or are you making modifications/adaptations based on your new "reality".

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12 hours ago, SouthOfTheRiverCpl said:

The launcher is in the Amazon basket as we speak.  We are curious to know if your level of lifestyle participation/interactions with couples/singles is back to your "normal" or are you making modifications/adaptations based on your new "reality".

Menopause and lubricants launched into a new reality. Our home sex became primarily oral with the onset of dryness and soreness. We had plenty of time to play during lockdown and bought new toys and and lubricants every week. Our new home reality and talks led to my curiosity of adding others and me and a woman.  The launcher has made sex much more comfortable and pleasant, adding a new fun activity with the launcher lubricating deeper and more thorough. It has brought back a new normal type of sex. Our oral play has gone back to foreplay with culmination more traditional. I also learned with our new lifestyle that I am not alone with life’s aging process. Life is funny, we all age and will talk to friends about all aspects of aging except a very important part, sex. We hide problems with intimacy with most friends and then we meet new friends and open up to them. 

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We use liquid coconut oil.  Not because she gets dry, but because she gets too wet.  

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Thanks to for the thoughtful suggestions and reccomendations. Clearly another guy "hammering" away is not a winning formula currently.  Before you found a solution was the topic of dryness/discomfort part of the vetting, screening and pre-play consent/boundaries talk? TIA

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