What activities do you allow during swinging?

[Karen12345 15]

While the poll should give some overview, I would like to know a little more on why couples exclude certain kinds of sex when swinging.

 

Is it the man or the woman who would like to exclude intercourse/kissing as a rule (not just in an individual case)? Does the man not want his wife to have intercourse with/kiss another man? Or the other way around?

 

And why: jealousy? STDs? other fears? Did your rules change?

[Spoomonkey 421]

We have included it all. When we started, we had enough boundaries to confuse a map maker, but now the boundaries are few.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Ditto to what Spoomonkey said. We had so many boudaries the first time or two we swung WE didn't even understand them!!

 

But now there are few as we have gotten more comfortable. As long as we both agree with the couple/single male then it's on.

 

Of course we do not allow anything that we don't even allow between each other.

[leftcoastcouple 32]

I marked "kissing + oral + intercourse," but only because the choice we'd pick as a couple--"kissing + intercourse"--wasn't offered.

 

I don't expect most folks to understand. But to answer your question as to why, Mrs. Leftcoast views oral sex as extremely personal and intimate, and while she's agreed to keep it off the "boundaries" list (which does include anal, but you didn't mention that), that was a compromise on her part. To her, oral is highly personal and more intimate than intercourse or even kissing.

 

I understand where she's coming from and respect it, just as I do folks who forbid kissing, even if I don't feel the same way. Different strokes--and boundaries--for different folks.

[good times 991]

I have to agree with spoo and the naughties. We have few limits. We firmly believe that the intimate part of our relationship is in our hearts and is not defined by something we do for fun or pleasure.

[Karen12345 15]

@ leftcoastcouple: Interesting - I have to admit that I did not expect the combination kissing and intercourse, but no oral... never heard of such a combination before. Let us see if I missed other combinations.

[xxoticangel 99]

Our sexual limits are simple, no kissing and no anal. The other rules are also few, only play together and must use condoms during intercourse.

Mrs. Leftcoast views oral sex as extremely personal and intimate, and while she's agreed to keep it off the "boundaries" list (which does include anal, but you didn't mention that), that was a compromise on her part. To her, oral is highly personal and more intimate than intercourse or even kissing.

Angel thought this way in the begining too. When we got together she had only preformed oral on two other men (her ex and one LTR) and the only one to oral on her was her ex. This despite having had 14 partners. Now one of her favorite activites is giving oral, especially the first time she taste a new playmate. She closes her eyes and gets this dreamy look on her face before savoring it like a gourmet meal. Don't know what happened to change her attitude but I ain't complaining.

 

As for kissing I didn't think anything about it until we talked after our first time. She didn't like seeing me kiss another woman and asked that I not do it anymore.

[Karen12345 15]

@ xxoticangel: is the "no kissing" rule for both of you or is it ok for you if she kisses other men?

[xxoticangel 99]

@ xxoticangel: is the "no kissing"rule for both of you or is it ok for you if she kisses other men?

The no-kissing rule is that I cannot kiss anyone but her, and she cannot kiss anyone but me or the girl. Seems that while the other girl and I were kissing etc., she and the guy were not. Neither of them liked it. We talked about it and it became a rule.

 

In light of another topic regarding kissing she and I began talking about it again. Evidently there are other couples that would not be interested in playing with us because we don't kiss. We decided to keep the rule.

[lovefest04 701]

We really try not to set any limits. I was taken back the first time I watched the other man (MFM get together) just sort of make his move on my wife. She responded with a deep tongue exploring kiss. After I recovered, I realized that if I couldn't take the kissing I'd better get out now.

 

She also made me feel great when she finished with the kiss and then came to me, wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. I reached down to find she was getting very wet. From then on I was clear on what we were doing and why.

 

Fun, fun and more fun. Oh and of course sexy orgasmic fun.

[akamgaxoxo 25]

I chose all of the above, mainly because I could not imagine not being able to do all of those things. However if one of us found that something bothered us about kissing or otherwise, we would surely stop that action right away.

[jessiecm 15]

We have already gotten past the limits, with time. Let the goodtimes roll for all!

[bear_and_babe 68]

I picked all of the above also. The only thing that I (Babe) will not do is anal. I have done it with a swing partner in the past, and enjoyed it, but it is not something that I want to do with other swing partners. Bear has been with woman who wanted him to do anal with them, and I feel that is their decision if they want that. I don't tell him he can't do it. I guess we are very open in what we do.

[flutterbudget 15]

When we started, we had rules also. Now we don't. The only condition is that we communicate and are honest. It is working out well (that's an understatement by the way! LOL).

[xxoticangel 99]

Since my last posting on this thread our rules have changed and we now allow kissing. Our rules are now down to three 1) same room 2) no anal 3) condoms during intercourse.

[Chemistry_0518 20]

Since my last posting on this thread our rules have changed and we now allow kissing. Our rules are now down to three 1) same room 2) no anal 3) condoms during intercourse.

 

 

Was that something that you agonized over at length? What caused you to modify your rules? I hope that you feel that you've made progress.

[gregoryrd1 15]

Hi all,

 

We had rules in the begining. We changed that to only using condoms. We both agreed if we don't like something then we will stop.

[ins8bl1 15]

I actually have more rules enforced on me for the Girl I sleep with who is a friend (which was how this got started), than we have for swinging.

 

Our rules are simple:

 

1) use protection when necessary (if either partner is not 'fixed')

 

2) don't stop each other in the middle of ANYTHING the other is obviously enjoying. Talk about it later when calmer heads can prevail and there is no backlash from someone thinking they were 'left hanging'.

 

So far that is it. And we only started this lifestyle three weeks ago! We figured there is nothing that either of us hasn't done before we got married that we couldn't do now, and that if there was a problem to always discuss it afterwards. If we need to make more rules, then fine!

[tandb 15]

It's all about trust. If we implicitly trust our partner or partners, there are NO rules. This is admittedly rare. At this point, there is only one other couple that we trust to that degree.

 

If that total trust does not exist, then we require condoms for intercourse and Mrs. tandb does not have anal with another guy.....

[Vespertine 31]

If that total trust does not exist, then we require condoms for intercourse and Mrs. tandb does not have anal with another guy.....

I've often wondered, when a couple's rules indicate that the wife will not participate in anal sex with another man, does this also mean the husband cannot have anal sex with another woman?

[Chemistry_0518 20]

I've often wondered, when a couple's rules indicate that the wife will not participate in anal sex with another man, does this also mean the husband cannot have anal sex with another woman?

My Little Princess refuses to have anal with someone else. This is just her preference. As a result, it wold be highly unlikely that the woman in a couple that we meet would permit me to ehgage in anal with her while her male partner is denied. I said unlikely, but not impossible. There has been an instance in which the woman was a real anal freak and "demanded" that type of attention. How could I possibly refuse such a request?

[BradAndJanet 70]

I've often wondered, when a couple's rules indicate that the wife will not participate in anal sex with another man, does this also mean the husband cannot have anal sex with another woman?

I wouldn't assume that without asking. J's not comfortable with anyone but me, but she doesn't mind if I go there with another woman.

[Vespertine 31]

Thanks for the explanation, guys.

 

I've often wondered about that.

[wiscpl 22]

As far as rules go, we use the KISS method. For those who don't know that stands for Keep It Simple Stupid.

 

By doing so we feel we avoid any possibility of missunderstands later. These include 1) same room only 2) no anal 3) never on a first date (we may have been easy on our first date but that's another story

 

Another important critia, not really a rule, is to just have fun. That is why we are all here, right?

[Bama0468 93]

Our rules are few, and have progressed to this point over the years. Must wear condoms, and respect the other couple's boundaries.

[DBL D 120]

We do it all but in the safest way we can. How's that?

[findtime 16]

Same room. (Our rush from this is watching each other give and receive pleasure which is why, even if I can't participate because of mother nature, I still enjoy attending functions to watch my husband).

 

Condom use, always, for intercourse (we'll take our chances with oral).

 

No male-female kissing (we find kissing really intimate and personal. Not so for sex. Any type of sex is ok.)

 

We actually revisited the no kissing rule to see if it was still necessary. We discussed it, pictured it and decided to keep it.

[cathylacy 15]

Hi,

 

I am a bi male who is also (sometimes) a Cd/tv when swinging. I observe all preferences of any couple I meet 100%. 'Trust', 'mutual pleasure' and 'sex' should be rated by every individual/couple in that order and totally respected.

[teknurse 18]

I haven't been on this board in a while, but this topic was interesting. The posting about anal kinda hit home. I was with a gal at a house party that was REALLY into anal. My wife doesn't enjoy it very often, if at all. She had no problem with us having anal sex though.

 

The one thing she doesn't like is if I ejaculate while another woman is felating me. It was odd; having sex in every position imaginable doesn't bother her, but my cumming in another woman's mouth perturbed her. Needless to say, I've abstained from that at my wife's behest.

 

We didn't start out with many boundaries and aside from that one, we really haven't changed much over the years.

[JakenReenie 17]

Reenie and I have just one rule:

 

We never, ever, ever, ever fuck on the first date...unless we feel like it.