Are pictures worth 1000 words?

[nikkisguy 15]

We are new to the lifestyle and have been registering on sites here and there to see what's out there. Well for about 3+ weeks now we have had not one email sent to us or any replies to the ones that we sent. All of a sudden we decided to post a few pics on our profiles because we are getting more comfortable with having images out there on the net. Not 2 days after posting them we have gotten about 15 emails and a few chat requests. I guess that leads to the title question "Are pictures worth 1000 words?" Is it the profile of the couple that most of you are interested in or do you base it on the looks of the couple that sparks your interest?

[BradAndJanet 70]

When I was cruising Swappernet and SLS, I must admit that I would only look at profiles with pictures.The search features of the site make it easy to do that. If someone contacted us, however, I would consider writing back even if they had no pictures. There's no particular reason I did it that way; I guess I just like looking at the sexy people!

[twohotblondes 15]

You are right...we always look at the couples pictures first, then we read if we have some things in common...so looks are important.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

nikkisguy said:

Is it the profile of the couple that most of you are interested in or do you base it on the looks of the couple that sparks your interest?

A picture is the first thing to catch your attention, so certainly a picture is worth 1000 words.

 

Once I decide to read the profile, HOW THE PROFILE IS WRITTEN IS MORE IMPORTANT than the picture. But realize this, I open ads with pictures before ones without.

 

I am hesitant to contact a couple without a picture if they don't mention in their profile that they'll send a picture on request.

 

A thought to share about all the contacts you've received: Some people send out e-mails of introduction without ever having read your profile. It can feel good at first--getting all those e-mails--but some people send out e-mails without much thought; you may never hear from them again, or they will be chat-seekers who don't have a serious interest in meeting.

 

Welcome to the board!

 

Keep us posted on how your search progresses.

 

[devonsgirl 17]

Hi all,

I am the Nikki of "Nikkisguy" and I wanted to add a little something to the post that my honey made here. Even though my guy was the one that posted this, now that he mentioned it, I am guilty of doing that as well. Just sort of passing the profiles without pics. I guess it's just human nature. People tend to be very visual. I know I am most of the time. But I have started looking at more profiles no matter what because you never know what you are missing...

[couplefromma 15]

We have found that if you only look at the pics sometimes you miss a great couple or a newbie couple who want to be taught something new but are still too shy to post pics.

 

Also if you are looking for more then just the sex (ie friendship as we do) then you need to look past the pics and look at personality as well

[nikkisguy 15]

Baby we already talked about that.. I have a tendency to look for something attractive with everyone that I look at. I guess it was the upbringing.

[Chika 15]

Funny because this is always a source of amusing conversation between Cap and I. I tend to read profiles first looking for some indication that the individual/couple are interesting and might have something in common with us (besides the obvious). Having done that, I do look at pics because they tend to give clues as well. While we're not the shape and size we were in our twenties, we do find ourselves drawn to some people and not to others in part by a response to their pics.

 

I'd also have to say that while sexy pics are great and pics where at least another couple appears involved are terrific, profiles that only contain pics of genitalia generally hold no interest. We're just assuming that all the body parts are there! lol

 

Now....Cap looks at pics first. If the couple/person have little to say, he's not as likely to lose his interest in them. He leaves it to me to be his "screener" I guess. lol

 

Pics also help us feel more comfortable that we are communicating or about to communicate with a real couple/person. Believe it or not, we have found pics on people's profiles that they hold out to be themselves when in fact, we've seen that same pic on a porn site, clearly identified as a totally different person. (Cap has a remarkable eye and memory!! ).

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I have to agree with BradandJanet.... when I was actively looking at ads, I would look for ads with pics. But if someone contacted me/us that didn't have pics in their ad I would still respond and talk with them. Oddly I think I have met more people without seeing their pics than with.

[Spoomonkey 421]

If you are going to play primarily on the internet, then posting pictures is the only way to go. We don't post pics, but then again our main avenue of play is through a local club. The internet is just a nice little "surprise" every now and then.

 

The funny thing is, I tend to look at pictures, too, when I go to SLS. We rarely (like two times ever) e-mail anyone from that site to initiate friendship, but we will scan it now and then to see if someone strikes us as interesting. Pictures grab my attention pretty quick. If the internet is your play place, then you need to be comfortable with pics.

[stoutgatte 25]

Dito

 

Pics grab attention... We had a profile on without pics with little action, but once we included pics we got flooded... When we were repying, the profiles with pics got our attention first, but we did reply to those without pics...

[JettyCouple 15]

Letters from people without photos get polite, but short replies. We only take things further with people that have photos posted (preferably, with at least one photo of the couple together). They can be G-rated, but we like to see who it is we're corresponding with. We post recent pics on our site profiles, so we expect the same courtesy.

[ALilOEverything 901]

Okay, after this thread I decided to have a public picture of myself that was taken last night. We don't get a lot of response to our ad and I've always known having public pictures has a lot to do with it. We did have a couple private ones. So I took a picture that hubby took of me last night before the social and made it public. I'm almost feeling a little overwhelmed. It's so funny because people who wouldn't give us the time of day before are now asking to get to know us more. I guess a picture IS worth a 1000 words.

[JettyCouple 15]

That's great...congrats. Very nice, by the way. Now, if you want more responses, post one of the hubby, too. Ladies like to see what the male half looks like, as well.

[ALilOEverything 901]

thank you yeah, that's the plan. Actually we had one of each of us in our private pictures. I want to take a new updated one of him tomorrow and just get rid of the private ones.

[married_lovers 15]

Letters from people without photos get polite, but short replies. We only take things further with people that have photos posted (preferably, with at least one photo of the couple together). They can be G-rated, but we like to see who it is we're corresponding with. We post recent pics on our site profiles, so we expect the same courtesy.

 

We'd have to agree with JettyCouple. While we do respond to people without pics, we appreciate pictures of them before we go further. And we do prefer to see a picture of them together (it helps to weed out the fakes). Actually, we prefer to see G rated because those pictures (aside from photo studio pictures) tell us something about the people themselves. And recent--meaning within the last year or so--is also important. Being surprised at a first meeting is not good karma.

[Spoomonkey 421]

JettyCouple said:

We post recent pics on our site profiles, so we expect the same courtesy.

 

I am not really sure that I am reading this correctly...

 

Not posting pics is a preference, not a lack of courtesy. We understand that this limits our internet contacts (but not as severely as one might expect), but so does the screen name "Spoomonkey"... Not exactly the most erotic mental picture, I'll admit...

 

And we can certainly respect a couple's decision to not reply to ads if there are no pictures. Again, a preference and a reasonable one. We certainly don't pout about it as we know the drawbacks to our choice.

 

However, the line in this post seems to insinuate that since we choose not to post pics, we are somehow less-than-genuine... Or since other couples post pictures that we are somehow honor bound to post ours...

 

I don't think you meant exactly that, but this line has kind of bothered me all day and I wanted to post some reply. As I've said before, if the internet were our method of choice, we'd be silly not to post pics - but even without, the internet has provided quite a few play options. Pics will up your traffic, for sure, but it will not necessarily up the quality of people sending you e-mail.

 

I will admit, pics of Mrs JettyCouple and Mrs Lilo are certain to garner much interest. Both are quite gorgeous! Frankly with pictures of those two - I have no idea how you keep up with your inboxes...

[ALilOEverything 901]

I took it as courtesy of having recent pictures vs. older pictures... not courtesy of having pics in a profile vs. not displaying any.

 

Quantity definitely changes, I have to say the quality is about the same. I'm imagining some are looking at our profile for the very first time since some only do a search with pictures. I have to say I don't necessarily want a huge quantity but I do like it that I have more options to see who we were actually like to meet. I'm finding I prefer people to contact us as I found we wasted a huge amount of time trying to find real people who are interested in actually getting to know someone.

[Spoomonkey 421]

ALilOEverything said:

I took it as courtesy of having recent pictures vs. older pictures... not courtesy of having pics in a profile vs. not displaying any.

 

Like I said - I was probably reading it wrong. Thanks for the different perspective.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

We post recent pics on our site profiles, so we expect the same courtesy.

 

 

I am not really sure that I am reading this correctly...

 

Not posting pics is a preference, not a lack of courtesy...

 

...However, the line in this post seems to insinuate that since we choose not to post pics, we are somehow less-than-genuine... Or since other couples post pictures that we are somehow honor bound to post ours...

 

I don't think you meant exactly that, but this line has kind of bothered me all day and I wanted to post some reply.

JettyCouple will surely post their reply, but I thought I would write since I had a different understanding of their post--probably because we do post pictures and our profile has something in common with JettyCouple; we both state that we want a G-rated picture from interested couples. We want current (not outdated) pics. I think this is what they meant.

 

If someone writes to us who we find interesting but they don't have pics, we will write back to learn more about them, reminding them that we do wish to receive a pic of them "as our ad states." The point being, people who write us should be prepared to send us a pic or they shouldn't have written us knowing what our preference is.

 

As you said Spoo, it is not a lack of courtesy to leave a picture off your ad. But too often it's obvious that people haven't even read our profile (because they act ignorant of our pic request) and that is what is offensive.

 

As far as being less than genuine if you don't post a picture, I don't feel that way about couples without pictures. I like pics because I enjoy placing a face with a name. There are many couples who post only the wife and no couple pics. Mr LM and I like a picture of the couple together, but we will not insist.

 

If a couple does not want to post pictures they should not feel pressure to do so.

 

LM

[JettyCouple 15]

Actually, you read it correctly...maybe it needs a bit of clarification, though.

 

We do not consider those who do not post photos as impolite or bogus. Everyone makes their own choices, and we respect that.

 

I think what I meant was that we have had situations where we have received email from people (without pics), who were motivated to write us based on the posted photos (we know this because the authors said so in their letters). They had no intention of posting pics for us to see, nor did they offer to email us one (we would have declined the offer, anyway... we consider playing email tag with pics to be a waste of time). Without any idea about whom it was we were corresponding with, it was expected that we would meet people, sight unseen...which will never happen.

 

We provide images of ourselves to help others with their selection process. If someone chooses to write us, we do consider it to be courteous for them to provide us with the same level of information so that we can also make an educated decision.

 

This may seem to be unreasonable or rude to some, but this is part of the criteria we use when choosing between whom we have met online and who we will actually meet in person. Photos may not not necessarily up the quality of people sending you e-mail, but it certainly doesn't hurt one's chances, either.

 

I am truly sorry if my choice of words has bothered anyone, as it was not my intention. It is our opinion, though, which is just that...an opinion.

 

I hope this cleared things up a bit.

[JettyCouple 15]

Our profile also states that we require photos of both parties (right at the top, with big, bold fonts and pretty colors).

 

It's not as though we're not upfront with what we're looking for...those that do not wish to respect our request can also choose to write to another couple.

 

We do not mean to seem shitty about it, but letters that clearly indicate that the author did not take the time to read what we're about are a waste of mailbox space.

[Spoomonkey 421]

JettyCouple said:

I am truly sorry if my choice of words has bothered anyone, as it was not my intention. It is our opinion, though, which is just that...an opinion.

 

I have read the responses from Lilo and LikeMinds and have to say that their perspective makes sense...

 

But - as for your wording bothering anyone - probably not... It is just me and anyone around here can tell you, I'm a little weird...

 

 

I think your approach is valid and respectable. You narrow down your playing field as you see fit. I respect and understand that. I just simply read it wrong. We don't post pics because we are clubbers - which fits in much nicer with our schedule - when we want to play, we go to the club. But, we have a similar approach... If someone is at the club with a bag on their head, we almost always politely decline

 

No - there was nothing wrong with your post. It was my errant interpretation.

 

BTW - we do send pics to couples we are interested in when something happens on the internet. But the internet doesn't really charge our batteries much so that isn't very often...

 

And - my statement still stands - Mrs Jetty is hot... Whether or not you're hot is sort of up to Mrs Spoomonkey.

[JettyCouple 15]

No worries...it's all good. Thanks for the kind words.

 

We do clubs a lot as well as house or hotel parties and couple to couple meetings. Swing sites are what we do when we're not able to go out for whatever reason...better than television.

[good times 991]

We think Jettycouple are pretty hot too, But like the spoomonkey's we don't put pictures on the net. In fact the picture in this weeks spotlight interview is the first one we ever put on the net.

 

ps. if you look at our picture in the spotlight interview, our faces are a little disguised, those aren't our real glasses.

[ALilOEverything 901]

Wrong again LOL You know...this demonstates to me how important is to get to know people in person since there are so many ways you can take a written statement. I probably took the statement my way because of one couple we met sent a picture so old I would never have guessed it was actually him! So I really like a fairly recent picture...at least within the past couple years.

[WA_Cple 20]

I think pics are important as well... I prefer G rated ones vs X rated.

 

Having said that... I only have my picture posted on a profile for a select few local yahoo groups that I belong to... and nothing posted on the national/international type boards.

 

 

Mrs WA

[good times 991]

This is kind of an old thread but I thought I would bring it back up because since my last post to this thread we have put a couple of pictures, one of them publicly viewable, on our sls profile. That was a couple of days ago and since then we have gotten more response than we have in the 2 years we had the add with no pictures. so I guess I would have to say that pictures work.

[cobracpl 15]

Hi! We think the picture is worth the effort of the potential players. We have responded to non picture profiles when mailed to. But our first request of them is of their G rated recent photo, preferably with their body connected. Most of the time the pic is returned and you find out why they don't have their pic posted. Shallow Hal here in that reguard but attraction is most important when finding play partners. Maybe people feel the same way about our profile but at least they are afforded that first pic as stimulus to contact. We think the email pic trading has just about run its course. Had a potential play partner requesting pics and more pics with a meeting that night...He didn't show...Dang! fooled again. Live and learn. Its these types that get this statement plastered throughout profiles...'NO SINGLE MALES'. Gives them all that bad name, even though we know they aren't all that way.

 

Wish we could club more but find it hard to get out. Its also difficult to break into the "clic" scene that seems to be prevelant at clubs if you aren't constant attendees or look like barbie n ken.

 

OH well there ya go. Thats our opinion we are also cobracpl on SLS and would hope you check us out and send a hi if you want to.

 

mike n casey

[inbeachcouple 15]

We've decided that it takes much more effort for a poseur to post pics than to just open up a profile. Yes it's doable, but if you read the info on them (on SLS for example) you can really narrow it down to who is much more legitimate than others. Also, a big part of being in the lifestyle for us is physical appearance (although it's by no means the only part), and pics are a help. Good_Times for example; AWESOME PIC !!! It really helps give others an idea of who you are.

[HotMoCpl 20]

Yea, that's fine. The wife and I decided that if pics are posted they will be "G" rated.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Pictures are worth two words we don't want to say:

 

"No thanks."

 

Not wanting to turn a couple away is the number one reason we like a profile with pictures. If one is not included in their profile, we like having a picture attached to a couples first letter to us.

 

If we would exchange even two letters with people before they sent their picture, and then realize we are not attracted to them, it would be pretty obvious--and uncomfortable for everyone--if we said "Sorry, but we don't feel we're compatible," that the decision was based on their picture.

 

Fortunately, this hasn't happened yet, even though I read profiles without pictures looking for compatible couples. I worry that contacting pictureless people could present this uneasy situation.

 

Looks are an important part of the swinging equation for us. We appreciate swingers who have pictures in their profile.

 

LM

[cobracpl 15]

LikeMinds321 said:

If we would exchange even two letters with people before they sent their picture, and then realize we are not attracted to them, it would be pretty obvious--and uncomfortable for everyone--if we said "Sorry, but we don't feel we're compatible," that the decision was based on their picture.

 

It is awkward for sure. Happened more than once...Just would like to know who we are looking at like you said Likeminds, before you send or reply to a message of who you are messaging.

 

So if you don't have a pic in your profile, put a pic up. Please!

[teknurse 18]

I have to admit, if someone writes us and wants to get together, I practically demand a picture of both. First off, if you can't commit to a picture, why are you willing to meet in person? Almost all the sites I've ever been on give their users the ability to 'lock' their pictures to protect their privacy. I have no problem with locked pictures in a profile, but at the point where we are planning to meet, no pic = no meet. Being stood up on a 'date' sucks, and every time it's ever happened, it's been from a picture-less profile. A pet peeve of mine is when someone writes to us and asks to be allowed to see our locked pictures, and they leave theirs locked! I consider that to be downright rude.

[intuition897 2,179]

If we would exchange even two letters with people before they sent their picture, and then realize we are not attracted to them, it would be pretty obvious--and uncomfortable for everyone--if we said "Sorry, but we don't feel we're compatible," that the decision was based on their picture.

 

This is precisely our fear. I hate uncomfortable and awkward moments when you have to - after corresponding a few times - let the couple know that, after having received their picture, you just don't feel you're compatible. Yeesh! I know we wouldn't want to be the ones on the other end of that stick.

 

Fortunately, this hasn't happened yet, even though I read profiles without pictures looking for compatible couples. I worry that contacting pictureless people could present this uneasy situation.

 

It's happened to us once: after having given a couple access to our private pics, the female half decided that I 'wasn't her type'. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but hey! rejection is rejection. And it just sucks all the way around.

 

...Looks are an important part of the swinging equation for us...

LM

 

Unfortunately true. If everyone were gorgeous and physically compatible, what a wonderful world it would be, no? We're not snobs, but as far as sexual attraction goes we have certain requirements. Handlebar moustaches, '70's Elvis-style mutton-chop sideburns and bad hair don't do a thing for me, and Mr. just can't get get too excited by that 'been around the block a few million times' look. He loves mature women, but only if they look like they've spent 45 years eating health food and running 5 miles every day...not smoking a pack a day since they were 11 and drinking since they were 9. How can you expect someone else to be attracted your body if you can't show it the respect it deserves? Likewise, being unhealthily over or underweight is a turn-off...

 

But no one asked what turns Mr. intuition and I on or off... Are pictures worth 1000 words? In a word, yes. Ads with pics get our first interest, but get are dismissed JUST as quickly if it's obvious we wouldn't be physically attracted to them. Ads without pics take longer to sift through, but we do read them. We're just more cautious about how we respond to them.

[BradAndJanet 70]

teknurse said:

... First off, if you can't commit to a picture, why are you willing to meet in person? ...

Not to argue, 'cause I like to see a picture too, but one thing that's different about a picture is that if you send me one, I can abuse it in so many ways, whereas, if I just see you, I can't spread your image all around the internet.

 

In some ways, sending a picture is more of a commitment than a face to face meeting.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Yep, a picture IS worth a 1000 words! We exchanged emails with a couple and thought we were interested, as we had seen body pics of them. Well, 3 or 4 emails later, they opened their private pics, which had face shots and .....definitely changed our minds about meeting. In that case, it's still awkward. (Liked your bod, liked your personality, but....do something with that jacked-up grill? Wouldn't go over too well) We've also had people not contact us again after we opened private pics (with faces). I guess it's just part of the process, but I agree, it's not pleasant on either side of it.

[DBL D 120]

Anyone who isn't interested in posting pics will have a difficult time getting responses.

 

However, saying that...

 

We generally look through the ads with pics because we want to see some that are as good as ours! I mean, well composed shots (not necessarily the human subject matter.)

 

However, saying that...

 

Just a couple weeks ago we had 3 e-mails saying they were interested. We sent them our face pics instead of just opening our complete privates. Have had no response from any of them since. Does this make me want to write a "cute" response to them like "Grow up!" etc. Yes!

 

Will I do it? NO! He He.

 

Definitely our loss right?

 

Male D

[findtime 16]

Pictures are a must for us, too, although recent picture should be specified.

 

If you graduated 26 years ago but decided to use your college party pictures on your profile....people will notice when you meet.

If you decide to post the pictures taken before you gained the 70lbs, people will notice when you meet.

 

Be honest, folks. Why would anyone want to set themselves up for that kind of rejection. If your picture is really you, and really looks like you, then you know that the people who contact you are really interested in you.

 

We also request face pics before meeting. Only made that mistake once.

We have face shots in our profile because we realize the importance of it, too.