Our First Threesome...Parts 1, 2 then 3....

[Gigasangel 58]

Since Joining I noticed that we haven't posted about our first experience in the lifestyle and thought it would be an interesting read. The Wife and I have always had a desire to look into the lifestyle but we had a couple of issues to address along the way. Once the issues that were affecting our attempts at liberating our sexual side we needed a way to test the waters safely which we could better manage incase we needed an immediate abort option. Weirdly enough I asked my best friend/best man and oddly enough the god father of our daughter to help me and he agreed.  The days leading up to the event my wife was kinda freaking out and getting into her own head about the experience, how would be viewed, if my friend would find her unattractive, etc.  The day came and we couldn't decide how to break the ice, I suggested she come out in my robe and we can go from there. Well she eventually came out and she was a nervous wreck. I tried to kiss her and slowly undress her and then I asked my friend to touch her and he rubbed her for about a minute before she freaked out and put the robe back on and left. I left and we discussed it and she expressed her feelings again of being ugly and being thought of as a whore and we talked it out and we got dressed and hung out with my friend till he left the next morning. 

 

a few days later she apologized for freaking out and we talked about what happened, her expectations and mine ( I honestly didn't have any except she enjoy herself) and what she wanted to do. I texted my friend who lives a few towns over if he would be okay coming over and trying it again. He said okay and we went from there. We discussed it over the next few days we were gonna do and how to approach everything and we settled that me and her would start to have sex and she would blind herself and my friend would come in and join in. So the day came and we went out for sushi, hung out and we finally got to the point of the night to try it. We took a shower, I told her how beautiful and sexy she was and we got out and started to have sex. She blind folded herself and texted my friend to come in, he came in to our room and then got naked, he went in front of my wife when I asked him and she started giving him a blow job, soon enough she took the blindfold off and was looking around as she sucked him off and I fucked her. I asked her if she wanted him to fuck her and she said yes. So we switched positions, My wife took my dick out of her mouth to tell me she loves me and she is excited for him to fuck her and.. he goes soft. Come to find out he has performance anxiety issues about the experience and kinda shuts down. The night is finished by me and her fucking and he eats her out and she sucks him off while I fuck her and then the night ends. 

 

The following morning she tells me how excited she was to try everything and she really enjoyed the experience and wants to try it again. unfortunately our friend has left for his house and we plan to see if he will try again with us. He agrees and a few weeks later we try again and this time its a bit more open, we openly talk about how we will fuck her later and the things we will do and she is extremely turned on and excited. The time comes and this time he is able to fuck her for about 2 minutes before he goes soft again... this time he is concerned we will judge him on his performance because while he was fucking her doggy style she almost made him cum quickly and it was hard for him to get hard from that point again (fucking her doggystyle I personally call the closer because of her soft skin and soft ass, along with the way her pussy moves your dick so she rubs the right spot. its hard to not come quickly doggy style with her. )

 

Since then we have discussed how we both enjoyed the experience and how we would like to move forward and thus here we are. Hopefully you enjoyed that roller coaster experience cause that was a complicated experience to write in the first place. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Unfortunately, your friend suffers from a very common problem in the L/S. It's hard (no pun intended) for lots of people to get over that what they are doing is okay, especially if they have spent a lifetime being taught that it isn't okay. Luckily there is a pill for it...

[Gigasangel 58]

7 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Unfortunately, your friend suffers from a very common problem in the L/S. It's hard (no pun intended) for lots of people to get over that what they are doing is okay, especially if they have spent a lifetime being taught that it isn't okay. Luckily there is a pill for it...

lol 50 then 100mg of viagra couldn’t help. He was just completely in his own head and not using the correct one

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

That's one thing that women will never be able to fully understand: men have two heads, and it's difficult (at times) to tell which one is in charge and making the decisions (although it seems like one makes more poor choices than the other).

[Numex 2,409]

Does your wife find any of your, or her, other friends attractive?  It may be time to move on.  Your can always bring the best man/godfather back later.

Edited October 10, 2022 by Numex

[Gigasangel 58]

3 hours ago, Numex said:

Does your wife find any of your, or her, other friends attractive?  It may be time to move on.  Your can always bring the best man/godfather back later.

Honestly our social circle kinda took a massive nose dive after we had our daughter. Those we had been friends with didn’t really like that we had responsibilities and as time passed other obligations would throw a wrench into our plans such as my training and work schedule at the hospital. 
 

now my daughter is a bit older but my wife and I really truly have only two days out of the month to really do anything when my in law can watch our daughter.

 

the benefit we had with my friend is that I have known him for so long that it was like expedited shipping as all the concerns and talk most people would have were already addressed and we could focus on the most important parts .

[couplers 4,614]

A bold suggestion: perhaps your wife and your friend could get together without your presence.  It would lower the pressure on him and create more opportunities for them to do so.  After he has overcome his performance anxiety, then you three can use the limited opportunities to get together for what will then seem like natural and comfortable sex.

[Gigasangel 58]

55 minutes ago, couplers said:

A bold suggestion: perhaps your wife and your friend could get together without your presence.  It would lower the pressure on him and create more opportunities for them to do so.  After he has overcome his performance anxiety, then you three can use the limited opportunities to get together for what will then seem like natural and comfortable sex.

My wife refuses to play alone; this is both due to the fact she views it as a violation to our marriage but also because the idea behind entering the lifestyle is so that we can explore together as a couple; she refuses to even think about a full swap if it’s done in separate rooms.

 

right now we signed up for swingtown and SLS and we will see what we can get into while also looking at options such as clubs and more. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

When it comes to playing, using friends is not the best idea. If anything eventually goes sideways, there is a very likely chance that they will tell everyone what you do in your bedroom (and with whom you do it). Also, most friends are not ready to deal with the emotional aspect of what is happening. All too often, they will think sex=love and since they are having sex with you or your partner, they must be in love. It is always safer to swing with swingers who know that sex is just sex and are much better prepared to handle any emotional 'confusions'. If one wants to catch a fish, it is best to try where you know that there are fish. If you want to swing, it is best to try with other swingers.

[couplers 4,614]

18 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

When it comes to playing, using friends is not the best idea.

I respectfully disagree.  We've played with friends and acquaintances early on, before our poly family formed, and never had any bad experiences.  

18 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

most friends are not ready to deal with the emotional aspect of what is happening. All too often, they will think sex=love

Perhaps it was because we were all young at the time, but sex did not equate to romance.  On occasion people who hooked up fell in love, but there were no expectations.