Play with Swingle Man

[Popcorn 6]

Hello! 
Mr Popcorn and I enjoyed our first play date with a total stranger after a trip to a club over the border (we live in a hamlet in New York State). It was wild and allowed my partner to try some lite play with another man - a fantasy for him.

 

I’m struggling on two parts. One/ I found out he is a swingle — a single man for swinging but is actually married with a child. The poor wife has no idea. So that makes me feel terrible. Two/ seeing him having oral with a man seemed sexy to talk about but felt uncomfortable when I saw it in play. Maybe it was the Tom Collins but in the moment it was sizzling but the next morning it felt different 
 

Mr popcorn knows I’m writing this - he is sitting here with me! These are things he is okay with but I’m trying to filter through. Curious to get other takes on it.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Hi Popcorn! I'm originally from New York so I know "hamlet" is an actual designation and not a character from a Shakespearean play Anyway...

 

Congrats on your first play date with a stranger! I'm sorry it wasn't quite perfect though

 

Some people are ok playing with "swingles", and you might get some opinions to that effect here. We are not. If the guy is willing to be dishonest to his wife, what else is he being dishonest with? Maybe he has an STD and isn't saying? Who knows? He's also willing to risk destabilizing his child's home life and world. To us, that's despicable. My wife and I have never knowingly had a threesome with a single male who was married. We do look for telltale signs, and we ask straight up if they are and why they're single. We have turned away a couple of guys who we figured out were married and cheating. If you feel horrible about participating in a guy cheating, then don't.

 

On your feelings about having seen Mr. Popcorn having oral; that's hard to unpack. The emotions around it may take some time to figure out. It might be a thing where you're ok with the thought of him doing it, but don't want to see it. Or, it could be that you're not ok with it at all. That can be a rule for the two of you; no guy-guy play, or guy-guy is ok but not if you're in the same room. That's ok. Really, it is! Just so long as you're both on the same page and go in to future encounters with the same understanding.

 

 

[Popcorn 6]

You know Ny! Ours is a small burg but close enough to a small city so it is nice and balanced on the whole

 

We have talked and talked about the oral play and I think I am willing to try it again. He enjoyed the action that much. Maybe I can leave the room like you say. Finding a fit healthy partner who likes couples and one on one is no small task. The late great jim Henson said There is not a word yet for old friends who have just met. — our sexy right playmate is waiting to be found!

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I think you can find it. My wife and I have had many MFM threesomes. Some were ok, some were great, none were outright bad. There are good single males out there, who really are single, with valid reasons for being so, and who like being the third of an MFM. My wife had two boyfriends for extended lengths of time (years). It can and does work. It may take a bit of effort, but it's quite doable.

 

And if all else fails, I could make a trip back to NY 😆😆

[patsfan5864 43]

We won’t get involved with married men, under any circumstances.
 

If he can’t be honest with his wife, he’s certainly not going to be honest with us.

[oldswinger64 111]

For us it was always about the wife back home.  We did not want to be involved with the deceit.  We have got dressed and walked out.  As for the male/male, it is about many things regarding sexuality.  Often times, the fantasy is better than the reality.  

[Popcorn 6]

This is good guidance. Thanks, friends. 

[patsfan5864 43]

On 10/9/2022 at 12:34 PM, bbarnsworth said:

We do look for telltale signs, and we ask straight up if they are and why they're single. We have turned away a couple of guys who we figured out were married and cheating.

 

 

 

 

Most married men who are looking to cheat think they’re slick and inventive, but it’s so easy to flush them out. We always ask for multiple video chats during the evening, and we’ve lost count of how many “single” guys then either disappear, or come up with some cockamamie excuse as to why they can only chat during the day, in their office or their car.

 

Pathetic.

[enhancer 1,585]

We have very few rules in the lifestyle, but two of them are no married guys playing alone under any circumstance and no male on male play!  Those two things will never change.

[patsfan5864 43]

12 hours ago, enhancer said:

We have very few rules in the lifestyle, but two of them are no married guys playing alone under any circumstance and no male on male play!  Those two things will never change.

Us as well, that seems to eliminate well over half the guys out there. Then once the “dom bulls” get flushed, you’re left with about 10% of the male pool. 😆

[njbm 2,869]

We have not played with single guys. Generally meet couples where both play. Have gone to house parties, where my wife is very popular. We are older and she is in the top 1% of fitness in the over 60 category. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,387]

Well yeah, the dishonesty part is shitty but no shame on you if he didn't disclose that up front.  Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice...

As for weird feelings after watching him and hubby play, just try to remember part of the reason you're doing this is to experiment a little, push your boundaries a little and try new things.  M2M play in the Lifestyle is less common than F2F play but really isn't that unusual.  

[Popcorn 6]

Excellent advice! 
We are still discussing the MM thing. I’m not going to put down anyone for preferences and fantasies. Imagine if he said no to my fantasy of riding a symbian for a crowd (unlocked that one last summer !)

we are slowly going out of our comfy zone circle. Screening will need to be more careful. Thank you for the tipz

Love and Daisies, the Popcorns

[herpob 563]

On 10/24/2022 at 6:43 PM, Popcorn said:

Excellent advice! 
We are still discussing the MM thing. I’m not going to put down anyone for preferences and fantasies. Imagine if he said no to my fantasy of riding a symbian for a crowd (unlocked that one last summer !)

we are slowly going out of our comfy zone circle. Screening will need to be more careful. Thank you for the tipz

Love and Daisies, the Popcorns

I had a similar reaction to you when my husband was with the wives. The man thing doesn't bother me whatsoever, well unless you count, it royally turns me on! But I get where you are coming from. I am the one so interested in swinging. I worked, played, and prepared for the day we might play together with bi couples. I was so focused on how hot it makes me to think about getting him to share in my experiences with men that I never processed what it would be like to see him with the wives. I didn't like seeing the wives do things with him and even more so him with them even when it was the other husband instigating it. I managed it, overcame it, but still it caught me off guard. We had another occasion that caught me by surprise more closely related to yours. One long weekend of sex with couples in our group (now) and something flipped in my husband. For the first time instead of me handing or feeding him penises he took the on. He was in one of my modes, going after them. It tripped me out as well as turned me on. I was a basket case of jumbled confusion. The rest of the weekend was like that. The other wives were wondering what had gotten into him, and all were as turned on by it as I but not concerned. It took several weeks to process it all, several more to discuss it all, and even more time to work through it, for the both of us. I can chat more if needed about it all but we worked it out.

 

Beyond all of that, we are tit for tat. As you have your "fantasy of riding a symbian for a crowd" your husband has his desire to to oral with a guy. Tit for tat. I want my husband to give it up for a guy. I give it up for a guy/guy/guy or girl/girl etc. Tit for tat. Yes I give up more but I am always the one who wants the more extreme from him so I am perfectly fine with it. 

 

The most important thing we have discovered is that no matter if it is uncomfortable seeing it live, if we are experiencing it together, even better - doing it together/at the same time the great our connection, the more the other enjoys it and now often more for the both of us. I hope that makes sense. I do not wish to be to descriptive in this post. We both agree, we'd rather have the experience together than apart. We do not enjoy any sexual experience with others apart for so many reasons but mainly, we are a couple we are doing this as a couple, together.  Hope it helps.