Having a black playmate "tainted" us?!

[hotblonde47 22]

I think this may be a hot topic but... hubby and I (white) have a black friend that we enjoy MFM with. We are also currently looking for a couple locally to have fun with in and out of bed. We recently met a couple and during the evening I mentioned our MFM situation. Call me naive or whatever :rollseyes but I was completely floored by their response. They were angry with me because I had answered their "ad" which said "no interracial couples". I explained that hubby and I are not interracial (other than he's Italian and I'm English). I couldn't believe the people thought I had been tainted and that something would rub off Well anyway... that one went nowhere. So from here on in, hubby says we shouldn't mention it. I think I should... not least of all because I don't want to be involved with anyone with that kind of silly idea. What do you guys think?

[Elusive BiFem 70]

You say now that you don't want to be involved with anyone with that kind of silly idea, but since their ad said "no inter-racial couples," didn't you get the idea that they were prejudiced? You are now saying that you don't want to be involved after they rejected you for your previous encounters with a black friend, but it just seems to me that you were aware of a different value system from the moment of reading their ad. So, putting their response aside completely, why did you answer their ad in the first place?

 

As for telling people about your friend. I'm with your husband on that one, but not for the same reason. Quite simply, I don't think it is ever appropriate to discuss your prior play partners. I certainly would not want to think I was the subject of discussion among others and it has no bearing on who I play, with so what's the point?

 

I understand your anger at being rejected only because you played with a friend of another race; however, you put aside your own values when you answered the ad that reeked of prejudice. That's where we all get in trouble - when we put aside our own values and beliefs. - EBF

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

.... hubby and I (white) have a black friend that we enjoy MFM with. We are also currently looking for a couple locally to have fun with in and out of bed.We recently met a couple and during the evening I mentioned our MFM situation. Call me naive or whatever :rollseyes but I was completely floored by their response. They were angry with me because I had answered their "ad" which said "no inter-racial couples".

Chances are high you'll get that reaction from people if their ad expressed objection to inter-racial couples.

 

I'm wondering why you even mentioned the man being black? What was the point of it?

 

 

I explained that hubby and I are not interacial (other than he's Italian and I'm English). I couldn't believe the people thought I had been tainted and that something would rub off

I doubt they thought you and hubby were inter-racial; rather, they were revealing their strong opposition to who you chose to play with.

 

 

Well anyway .... that one went nowhere. So from here on in, hubby says we shouldn't mention it. I think I should ... not least of all because I don't want to be involved with anyone with that kind of silly idea. What do you guys think?

I don't see a point in mentioning the race of the people you swing with. That can remain private. Your preference to swing with people who aren't prejudice is admirable. If you have the time to develop a friendship first with potential swingers, you may discover what prejudices they have. But many people keep prejudices buried. In your swinger ad you might want to state that you are open to meeting people of all races (you choose the wording), this way couples who do not feel the same way will not contact you, or if you have approached them, they can say "no thank you" after reading your profile. This might help you avoid the problem again.

 

Good luck & welcome to the board!

 

 

LM

[hotblonde47 22]

Yes you're both right and in hind-sight we should never have answered the ad. Surrender My bad!!! And I take your point about not discussing other situations with swing partners .... I am learning some of the finer points from you guys. Thanks.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

I agree with all that was posted above. When it comes to talking aboutyou past swing expereinces, they should be generic. I personally think it is shallow for people to not want to play with you just b/c you have played with someone that is black. We would have no problem with that. We have enever played with anyone that was black, b/c we have never found someone that is balck thatwe were physically attracted to or hit it of with yet.

[stoutgatte 25]

Hmmm, I'm definitely prejudiced. Being a white South-African male, we were raised to be racist. Now, that said, I don't consider myself a racist, I have black friends and get along well with black people, but would never consider interracial sex.

 

So, this bring me to the part about this thread that bothers me. I have a prejudice, does the fact that I'm not open to interracial sex make me a bad person by default? Does it mean that I'm not good company? Does it mean that I'm selfish in bed? Does it mean anything other than that I am not into interracial sex? Why should one then exclude people who openly states that they are not interested in interracial sex from those you contact?

 

Guess I got onto a soapbox there... Took me the largest part of an hour to write this reply, and I know I'm stepping on some toes here...

 

Were u interested in this couple up to that point? From your message I get the idea you were, and that they said no (which I think is very shallow) the moment they heard about your experience. But if they didn't react in that way, would you have considered swinging with them?

 

Preference/prejudice... As long as you're not hurting someone on any level, what difference does it make?

 

P.S. I think it's really important to add that racism is NOT ok, and that's not what I'm defending (for lack of a better word) here...

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Hmmm, I'm definitely prejudiced. Being a white South-African male, we were raised to be racist. Now, that said, I don't consider myself a racist, I have black friends and get along well with black people, but would never consider interracial sex.

 

So, this bring me to the part about this thread that bothers me. I have a prejudice, does the fact that I'm not open to interracial sex make me a bad person by default?

No.

 

 

Does it mean that I'm not good company?

No.

 

 

Does it mean that I'm selfish in bed?

No.

 

 

Does it mean anything other than that I am not into interracial sex?

No.

 

 

Why should one then exclude people who openly states that they are not interested in interracial sex from those you contact?

Because it is simply their preference, just as it is your preference not to engage in interracial sex.

 

Most swingers have preferences, biases, prejudices of varying degrees. I see it more as a fact of life than an obstacle.

 

LM

[Elusive BiFem 70]

You bring up some interesting points, stoutgatte, in the prejudice vs. preference thing.

 

I can respect preferences. We all have them. Prejudice is another thing altogether because for me, it goes so much deeper than preferences. The couple referred to that got upset...I'd say they were blatantly prejudice and displayed that prejudice based on their reaction to the poster. They could have just as easily declined without expressing horror and dismay that she had been involved with a black man. To me, that would have shown more of a preference.

 

How are you defining racist vs. prejudice? I have a tendency to look at them as one and the same in most circumstances, and especially in terms of racial issues.

 

Yes, you are stepping on some toes, I imagine, but that isn't necessarily bad. It opens up thought processes and that has to be a good thing - for all of us. - EBF

[sensuality 2]

This is a subject that runs very deep for me.My husband is Mexican ...I am of European and Hungarian descent...And...my great grandfather{paternal grandmother's father} was a full blooded Cherokee Indian .Anyway...I have a strong preference for caramel skin.It's my preference.I think because the couple stated they did not want interracial couples, that was well within reason.However, I do not agree with nor do I ever appreciate any prejudices just because of a person's skin color.Really people...come on.The majority of our ancestors came from somewhere else{except for the American Indians}...some other country...across a border somewhere. My grandfather on my father's side, came over here from Hungary..illegally....the only people that actually came from America are the Indians...everyone else had to cross some border to get here.Why doesn't anyone see that??Why is it that the majority of "white" people seem to think it's their God-given right to judge people of other ethnicities and act holier then thou as if THEY are the only ones who TRULY belong here in America{No offense to anyone who does not think this way}???It is sooooo sad that people can't put that aside for one second and realize, we all bleed red...we can all give each other blood and procreate....How many more years or decades need to go by before people get rid of their arrogance?So, suppose then that this couple never knew that the other couple played with a male of African descent???Wouldn't have made them any worse for the ware...I'd say Ignorance...that's all it is!!

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Why doesn't anyone see that??Why is it that the majority of "white" people seem to think it's their God-given right to judge people of other ethnicities

 

I hope you are not insinuating that racism and prejudice is only something white people practice.

 

There are MANY racist out there from many different races and ethnicities.

 

As a matter of fact I see some prejudice, & steryotyping in your own post: majority of "white" people

 

I resent that statement as the majority of white people I know do not subscribe to your theory.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Well - going back to the original question...

 

I agree that there isn't any reason to bring up your past encounters, but since you did, you really flushed out a rat. And consider yourself lucky that you did!

 

Mrs Spoo and I are not SPECIFICALLY into black partners. It is just not our preference. But - on the other hand - there was a black gentleman who really tripped her trigger. It was a bad night and we couldn't play with him and Mrs Spoo wandered around the house like a puppy who'd lost its favorite chew toy for the rest of the weekend. And she has told me that he is one of the few men we've met (black, white or other) who she still occassionally fantasizes about. I think that is a good picture of prejudice versus preference. Every person is a package - and while we have our preferences about the wrapping of that package, the rest of the package counts too.

 

In this guys case, he had a hell of a package...

 

And I am talking about his personality - not his unit (which never got the chance to come out and play).

 

The fact that they became upset because you had sex with a friend - someone that they were not obiligated to have sex with - shows their prejudice quite clearly.

 

Spoomonkey

[sensuality 2]

I'm not using a prejudice against any race..."white" or not.But, walk a mile in my mocassins ...as the saying goes.My family and I encounter prejudice on a daily basis..and my statements are facts. I would never write about anything I didn't have personal knowledge and experience about.So, take my post any way you want...I know what I am talkng about.And, yes...every race has prejudices...but I have noticed on more than one occasion how some "caucasian" people think they have the God given right to be in America above everyone else.If you were to see me...you would think I was caucasian...because that is what I "look"like.Skin color is so vague anyway...if you really think about it...there are light skinned African Americans, light skinned Mexicans..and etc.The lighter skinned people have a much easier time being accepted as opposed to someone who has a darker skin tone.{Yes, I'm rambling}Also,you might note in my previous post, I put no offense to anyone who doesn't think like a racist...so, exclude yourself if you don't fit my definition of a prejudiced person.Whether anyone admits it or not...racism and prejudice are alive and well...and though things have changed since the 60's...we've got a looong way to go!!

Once again---I mean absolutely no offense to anyone of ANY race who is not racist or prejudiced .

[hotblonde47 22]

Ok, I want to thank everyone for their replies. I knew this would be a hot topic but didn't really quite expect this reaction. I think I really need to get less naive here. But let me qualify a couple of things. Some men like blondes, some brunettes, some women like chest hair, some don't, some people like large people some don't. I understand there are physical attributes to all of us that are attractive to some or not. In fact a conversation with one of my kids bought this across to me quite clearly tonight. The couple posted no inter-racial couples. That's OK, we figured, again in hindsight very naively, that they did not want to make love/have sex with other races - not a problem, could have been a negative attraction thing but whatever, their preference. The issue I had with it was that they absolutely thought I was somehow tainted, and that the taint would rub off/pass on or whatever. To answer your question Stoutgatte ... no, I had already made up my mind that these people were not for me. So actually if it comes right down to it, when they refused me personally (not necessarily hubby which is pretty weird)I was not in the least bit disappointed. I am not talking politics of racism here, although i guess its hard to avoid it. I just have never been exposed to it in this form (moved from UK 12 yrs ago). Our "friend" happens to be the most gentlemanly, polite, respectful, person we have come across so far. We both have great respect and admiration for him. I am as anxious that he doesn't feel in any way used by us as he obviously feels anxious not to disrespect our relationship in anyway. Black or white, the behaviour is precious.

[N&G 207]

After reading the original post this doesn't seem to be an issue of inter-racial sex but an issue of another couple dictating who you are allowed to play with. Not wanting to meet a couple of a different race is not any different than not wanting people of certain ages or sizes. It's just personal preference. It's none of their business who you see. I think you interpreted the ad correctly but should not have given them information about others that you have been with. As long as you met the requirements of the ad that is all that should have mattered. If the ad said "No couples over fourty" I'm sure you would not take that to mean that you could never see anyone older than that, only that you should be not older. This is not something worth getting upset about, just move on to someone else.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

but I have noticed on more than one occasion how some "caucasian" people think they have the God given right to be in America above everyone else.

 

Some is a long way from the Majority. That is where I took issue with your post.

 

Lumping the majority of one race under one stereotype is; well - prejudice in its rawest form.

 

I did not claim that your post was unfounded and baseless.

 

I thought that putting the majority of whites in that category insulted the majority of whites because the majority do not feel that way at all.

[Sexygirltina 15]

I think a lot of people are raised with certain prejudices and until they have a chance to get to know someone from another ethinicity they don't have a chance to find out that these things that Mom and or Dad taught them are not true.

There is that old saying" Kill them with kindness" and with situations where race becomes and issue that is the best way to handle it.

 

I 've had a chance to deal with this issue a couple of times in the lifestyle. I knew a couple for about a year who attended dances regularly. The male was always really friendly. One night the wife of my triad and I borrowed him for some fun and had a great time. From that moment forth if I walked into a room he was there like white on rice. A couple of months later his wife took me aside and said "thank ou for getting to know him, before he met you my daughter and I had to listen to him use the N word every day and he blamed African-Americans for everything that was wrong with the world. But since he's met you I have not heard him use the N word and all he can talk about is how cool you are." I had no idea that this man had issues with other races and if you had bet me I would never in a million years have believed you. But this is case that just by getting a chance to know another race he got past those prejudices.

 

My other stories are not so nice.

 

While at a swing club one night and talking to a couple of couples one of the wives said to me that she didn't play with black men because her daddy didn't raise her like that. But this women spent half of the night trying to ram her tongue down my throat and was upset that I wasn't interested in her. So for the unbalanced individuals like her a black single female is acceptable and black married male is unacceptable? While I am sure that her father raised her with these prejudices she can no longer blame him for her racial prejudices as now she is old to enough to learn enough about other cultures and races to get over this issue.

 

 

While in Hedo we were all lounging at the pool when a rather aggressive male came over and joined our conversation. While a few of us were checking out a rather well endowed pool boy (jamaican) this man thought that it was appropriate to issue the following statement, "I was born a little black boy but decided that I wanted to be a little white boy so I had a surgery to fix that". At which point I looked over at him and said "well they did an excellent job you certainly look like a little boy". The entire pool had a great laugh on that one. But I did feel a little guilty taking a pot shot at his manhood so I apologized and then informed him that I thought that his joke was tasteless and while it may have seemed funny in his head it was never appropriate to tell racial jokes no matter how entertaining one finds them as it promotes racism.

 

How individuals can come into the lifestyle as racists amazes me. I mean here we are choosing a lifestyle that in itself is judged harshly by those not in the lifestyle and being offended that we are judged for that lifestyle choice but certain individual think nothing of judging another individual based upon their race.

 

Tina

[sensuality 2]

Mr&Mrs Naughty....With regards to the difference between "majority" and "some"...where I live???It's the "majority".Perhaps where you live it is "some".Cases in point for me?We have a few ethnic neighbors around our subdivision.We also have more caucasians than any other race...We have CC&R's which restrict the parking of vehicles on the street for more than 48 hours.Well, there is a family down the street who is Mexican, and you better believe they got tagged...twice that I know of.But, we have a cop down the street who is "caucasian" and he was selling a car...parked it down the street for a week...yes, I kept track!{My husband and I take evening walks} Didn't get tagged once.Then, a little further down the road we have another caucasian family who has a trailer hooked up to an extension cord with an older lady living inside parked right in front of their house.That has been there 2 weeks so far. Hasn't been tagged yet.Lastly...we have a mixed couple a few doors down...he is caucasian, she is Mexican.They have a boat.They get tagged for having that boat even parked in their driveway for over 48 hours.So, like I said, I don't say things without good reason

This thread turned into something all on its own and I think it's great that it did. People who don't encounter racism are really shocked when they do come across it and realize that people really do act this way.It's absolutely within reason to state your preferences when looking to hook-up with a couple.However,judging a person because of what mommy and daddy taught you or because their skin doesn't match yours,is really shallow.To everyone here who does not have a racial hang up...God Bless You!!!

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

I have kept out of this one so far but here is my take. soapbox

 

We do not discuss who we have played with so this would never have been an issue. I understand that when you originally viewed their ad that since YOU were not interracial, you didn't think anything of it. (In all fairness though you should have picked up what that said about them.)

 

Although we have a hispanic policeman who lives down the street from us that thinks laws don't apply to him & his family we would never say 'majority of cops' or 'majority of hispanics'.

 

As far as the whole 'majority of whites' issue-

 

Anyone who LOOKS for racism won't be disapointed.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Sensuality,

I guess we will have to settle on agreeing to disagree.

 

Like Mrs naughty said: If you LOOK for racism or prejudice you will find it. No matter what rase or ethinicity you look at. The ironic thing about racism & prejudice is it Does Not discriminate. You will find it if where ever you look for it.

 

If you cant see the hypocracy of your original post then I guess any more discussion would be futile.

 

See you around the board.

[desert_dwellers 18]

I wanted to reply to this post, but MnM Naughty already said everything I was going to say!

 

-J

[lcjtsd 20]

Yes, there is prejudice all around us. I'm curious though. With swingers/swinger ads, could it be more of preference than prejudice?

 

On our ads we state that men must be cut, under 40, no hair on their back, very little on their chest and no facial hair. Are we prejudiced? No. It's our preference. It seems that once "color" is introduced, it goes from preference to prejudice. Why?

 

Although we don't state "No black men" on our ad, my wife would not be interested in most black men. Prejudiced, no, preference. Would my wife be interested in a black man in the future? Who knows. She does have the hots for Will Smith and Cuba Gooding Jr.! Would my wife be interested in a man who was not circumcised? NO WAY! Why? It's her preference.

 

Just because a couple advertised and states no black men, don't automatically ass-u-me that it's prejudice. Most likely it's just preference.

[hotblonde47 22]

I am sure, as I think I said before, that for some people it is a physical preference, but the situation I was in was definitely something very prejudicial .... they stated that. Anyway back to the other point about not discussing your previous/other encounters and maybe this should be a new thread but .... I think everyone we've met has asked about our previous encounters and we've been general about what we like, have experienced etc. But not specific about the people involved. This particular discussion came about over a converstion about family disputes .... we were not discussing particular partners but I bought up a situation that had appeared to put a rift between a cousin and I! Won't go into more detail about that one .... but I guess we have to walk a thin line sometimes with our discussion topics. But again, to some extent I'm glad it did come up and I was able to get out of there with no other excuse than they didn't want to be involved!

[lcjtsd 20]

I am sure, as I think I said before, that for some people it is a physical preference, but the situation I was in was definitely something very prejudicial .... they stated that.

 

Yes, you will run into people with prejudices. That's life. All you can do is realize that these people are not what you're interested in and say "Next!" and forget about it.

 

Don't let it eat at you cause that means that they win.

[stoutgatte 25]

I tried posting earlier today, but now I'm glad I couldn't. I'll just answer EBF's question and let this thread be... When racism is on the table everyone has an opinion, and most people are right from their own perspective and assumptions (even the really bad racists), so you won't convince them otherwise no hard you try....

 

How are you defining racist vs. prejudice? I have a tendency to look at them as one and the same in most circumstances, and especially in terms of racial issues.

When I'm saying racist, I mean a person who actively discriminates against a person because of their ethnicity, who would exclude them from being in their social circle, deny them work opportunities and in general, think they are better than them... Prejudice is not quite so easy, yes, it is a form of racism (in the racial sense), but on a much lower scale. I cannot imagine having sex with a black woman. It is a result of years of active indoctrination, but it is a fact. As I said, I'm prejudiced, not proud of it, just acknowledging my faults. I believe the couple who says no because they think hotblone47 is tainted is on a whole different level, and prejudice wasn't the word that came to mind.

 

P.S. If you want to discuss this further I'd be happy to exchange a couple of private messages...

[mrs good times 73]

I agree with Stoutgatte's interpretation of racism vs. prejudice.

 

We are prejudice against obesity. It doens't matter what color your skin is but if you are obese we aren't interested and this view can be used for many aspects of people not just color as can racism. Look at the polls that have been conducted regarding over weight people having more difficulty finding high paying jobs compared to HWP folks.

 

There are alot of prejiduces in the world that have nothing to do with racism.

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Look at the polls that have been conducted regarding over weight people having more difficulty finding high paying jobs compared to HWP folks.

 

There are alot of prejiduces in the world that have nothing to do with racism.

 

And along that same line, there have been many surveys to indicate "beautiful" people have more job opportunities, higher paying jobs, etc. So a form of prejudice pervades the workplace, too.

 

Maybe that's the reason I'm working for myself?!?

 

We all have our prejudices whether we acknowledge them or not? What about the couples that will not play with a single male? Or clubs that don't allow single males? As stoutgatte said in regard to racism, "When racism is on the table everyone has an opinion, and most people are right from their own perspective and assumptions (even the really bad racists), so you won't convince them otherwise no hard you try...." but I believe that pertains to prejudices, too. - EBF

[stoutgatte 25]

Darn... Just can't keep out of this thread, maybe because it is so close to home...

 

I also thought about the obesity thing, and it is a prejudice, like many other things. I'm prejudiced against men too on a sexual level, just because other men are prejudiced against me equally it isn't viewed as prejudice by the majority of society. Some would say its preference, but men do not consider sex with other men because of the way they were raised... Sounds a lot like prejudice to me...

 

... no hard you try...." but I believe that pertains to prejudices, too. - EBF

I have a feeling u may be right... It won't matter how much we talk about it, I won't jump another guy/black person... Sadly, the reasons for me not wanting it is too deeply ingrained to be able to want it on any level.

[lcjtsd 20]

How about we get this in perspective. In my previous post I said that we don't want anyone who is hairy, has facial hair, is uncut, or over 40. Does this mean that we are prejudiced against these types of men? NO WAY! Remember, we are talking here about potential SEX partners. I'm sure that more than a few of our friends/acquaintences are hairy, uncut men over 40. Guess what, the're great guys. Would my wife enjoy them as a SEX partner? NO. Would she invite them and their friends over for a BBQ? Yes.

 

Remember, we are talking about SEX partners. Just because you get along great with your neighbor, co-worker etc. doesn't mean you're going to invite them into your bedroom. It also doesn't mean that you are prejudiced against them.

[stoutgatte 25]

I have to disagree, when u exclude someone from your list of possible partners due to them not adhering to a specific list of attributes, you are prejudiced. Prejudice is all around and we all have it in some form or another.

 

In my original post I said:

Preference/prejudice... As long as you're not hurting someone on any level, what difference does it make?

I'll stand by that...

[EternallySingle 32]

I've been in several community action groups where preferences, prejudice, and racism have been discussed and how to deal with it. From what I've learned, there are several things to take into consideration when addressing and trying to resolve or live with these three issues.

 

First, racism is, in the end, politically and socially motivated. When you behave in a racist manner, you are saying that members of a specific group are not only different than you, but they are making your life more difficult by introducing their culture into your community, and that culture is destroying what you consider important. There is a L*I*T*T*L*E validity to that, but only because anytime something new is introduced to an environment, it creates a new environment. That is natural, but racists react to that change in environment as a personal attack on their political and social well being, not a chance to experience possible opportunities socially and financially.

 

Prejudice is personally motivated. It has to do with believing something is wrong because someone else (usually many people in authority) said they had bad experiences with that thing in the past. Children have prejudices against certain foods because they hear other children say those foods are nasty. For that reason, it takes a lot to make a child eat something they think they won't like. Unlike racism, prejudices are easily overcome by experiencing, either voluntarily or involuntarily, the object of prejudice and learning you were mistaken about what it will be like.

 

Preferences are also personally motivated, but on a less emotional level. Preferences evolve not by believing something is bad but by knowing something is go and PREFERRING it over something else. Someone who says they prefer rocky road ice cream over vanilla has probably had both and determined that, given the choice, they would choose rocky road over vanilla.

 

...to be continued

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Thank you, ES. Something that is really making sense now.

 

Waiting for this to be continued...- EBF

[EternallySingle 32]

There is a fine line between preferences, prejudices, and racism, and that line is tolerance. How much you will tolerate in someone who doesn't meet your preferences determines if you only have a preference or if you are prejudiced. How much you will tolerate the differences in those you have prejudices against determines if you are prejudiced or racist. If a person prefers not to have sex with someone of a different body type(which includes skin color), nationality, or religion, it simply means they prefer not to get too involved with that person. If a person refuses to have sex with someone of a different body type, nationality, or religion, they have a prejudice. If a person is emotionally disturbed (as in fearful or outraged) at thought of even associating with someone of a different body type, nationality, or religion, they are racist.

 

In defense of most of the posters on this board, there are truly very few racist left in the Western world, mainly because of the very thing most racist cite as ruining western civilization: The entertainment industry. Its hard to believe any one group of people is completely evil and unworthy of attention when you can pick up a magazine or turn on the television and see examples of people of different cultures working together and doing things that make everybody's life more fulfilling. However, just like the "bad single males", the racist stand out more because their actions are so blatant its difficult to keep things in perspective when you encounter people who belong to their general group.

 

I can personally say I know more white and Arab people I consider friends than I do whites or Arabs that I consider dangerous and menaces to me and other black people. But the few I've encountered have made it harder for me automatically trust either group of people on sight. However, by keeping in mind that my apprehension is due to the actions of a few, I'm able to keep myself open to getting to know them before deciding they are bad people. Also, if given the choice between two people with similar personalities, one black, one white, I'd choose the blacks first. Preference. But if I had to choose between a good natured white person and an ill tempered black person, I'd choose the white person to associate with. Common sense.

 

Then again, I'm strange. I want to trust everyone. I just know I can't, no matter who or what they are.

[lcjtsd 20]

VERY well said EnternallySingle!!!

[wrnakedru 38]

I believe your calm voice of rational reasoning has caused this potentially explosive topic to be put into its proper perspective. Additionally, I think just perhaps your helpful defining delineation of the terms involved may just enable most to realize they were all arguing the same side of an arguement.

 

It's amazing that those of us who society would deem as at least off the beaten track become so emotionally defensive if we feel our views may be construed as politically incorrect. That is not a worry that bothers most of us, generally, except perhaps in regard to family or employers. A defensive attitude therefore seemed odd and out of place.

 

Thanks for stepping up, sharing, and leading us to reason.

[mrs good times 73]

Dito very well stated.

[stoutgatte 25]

Thanks ES... Truly well said...

[austxmark 41]

One of my pet peeves. American indians are NOT NATIVE Americans. There are no native americans. EVERY persons ancesters came here from elsewhere. The indians came here in several waves and each time a new wave came they took what the previous wave owned. There seems to be this common belief that american indians lived in harmony with the land..not true in most cases. They lived in one area until the land was stripped of what they used to live and then they up and went to a new place.

[stoutgatte 25]

I'll bite on this one, that remark is very troll'ish, but it reeks so much of prejudice that I don't want a native Indian or even an American telling this guy how wrong he is... Guess you like getting a :slam"

 

American indians are NOT NATIVE Americans. There are no native americans. EVERY persons ancesters came here from elsewhere. The indians came here in several waves and each time a new wave came they took what the previous wave owned.

Hmmmm, they stayed in America for 100's of years uninterrupted and the only time that changed was when colonisation took place... Methinks you should revisit what is meant by native... Tribal wars are a part of history, they were fought on every continent by every tribe/nation that ever existed.

 

That would be like saying black people are not native to South-Africa, since they moved down from Central Africa many 100's years ago, and drove out the Koi people who lived there before them, who drove out (to extinction) the tribes who stayed there before them, who moved there in the first place in search of food, since they were not strong enough to defend their land against stronger tribes... So black people have no rights to the land the Apartheid government took from them, right? *sarcasm*

 

There seems to be this common belief that american indians lived in harmony with the land..not true in most cases. They lived in one area until the land was stripped of what they used to live and then they up and went to a new place.

There is actually a term defined for this, its called nomadic farming/hunting. If there aren't too many tribes living in an area it is very sustainable...

 

Historical facts are made up from what the majority of people believe to be the truth, according to the majority of historians, American Indians ARE native to America.

 

P.S. I'm not trying to convince you here, that would be a waste of time, if you believe in your heart you are right you are welcome to that opinion, but remember, it is not a fact... All I'm trying to do is give you the common opinion, from an outsider's point of view, maybe you'll take me a little more seriously than you'd do an Indian...

[sensuality 2]

And the beat goes on...as far as "looking" for any type of racism or prejudice.Honestly speaking,sometimes, it just gets in your face and you can't ignore it.I have a lot of reasons for the way I feel.However, I'm not going to sit here and write a book about it. I think Eternally Single has made a lot of valid points on here.I can't make anyone see what they don't want to see.Some people choose to turn a blind eye to things,I'm just not that way.I sincerely believe EVERYONE has a right to be treated equally,with respect.Unless or until they've shown me otherwise.Then all bets are off How this makes me a hypocrate, I'll never know.I just think I have hit a few nerves on this board, and that's the way it goes

Se La Vie!!Que Sera,Sera!!

[WesternSwing 504]

I think the point here is that their ad read "no interracial couples". hotblonde47 is not an interracial couple so they had every right to answer the ad. They have had interracial sex, but it should be of no concern to the other couple who they have swung with in the past. The other couple is very shallow and racist.

 

The only thing hotblonde47 did wrong was answer their ad when the road signs were clearly posted, and then talking about their interracial experience.

 

Why do people treat interracial like interspecies, anyway? We're all Homosapiens, just different shades... Oh, yeah, I remember... But that is a different topic.

 

Mr. WS

[sensuality 2]

AMEN!

[let's do it again 414]

On 7/23/2004 at 11:52 AM, sensuality said:

This is a subject that runs very deep for me.My husband is Mexican ...I am of European and Hungarian descent...And...my great grandfather{paternal grandmother's father} was a full blooded Cherokee Indian .Anyway...I have a strong preference for caramel skin.It's my preference.I think because the couple stated they did not want interracial couples, that was well within reason.However, I do not agree with nor do I ever appreciate any prejudices just because of a person's skin color.Really people...come on.The majority of our ancestors came from somewhere else{except for the American Indians}...some other country...across a border somewhere. My grandfather on my father's side, came over here from Hungary..illegally....the only people that actually came from America are the Indians...everyone else had to cross some border to get here.Why doesn't anyone see that??Why is it that the majority of "white" people seem to think it's their God-given right to judge people of other ethnicities and act holier then thou as if THEY are the only ones who TRULY belong here in America{No offense to anyone who does not think this way}???It is sooooo sad that people can't put that aside for one second and realize, we all bleed red...we can all give each other blood and procreate....How many more years or decades need to go by before people get rid of their arrogance?So, suppose then that this couple never knew that the other couple played with a male of African descent???Wouldn't have made them any worse for the ware...I'd say Ignorance...that's all it is!!

I read this thread just minutes ago and read the date on this thread and it's over 19 years ago and in my opinion things hasn't progressed much. I live in the midwest in a rural area and I think that it hasn't improved. I mentioned ago going to nude beaches in Jamaica and seeing very few interracial couples and I was surprised most were white men with black women from the east coast. I have never met an interracial couple at a house party. What do you think has much changed in your eyes in 19 years ?

[Sunshine&Whiskey 15]

Personally the tainted attitude is pretty narrow minded. We’re not overly experienced but we’d prefer to be with people who have commonalities, aka may have differences of opinion but have respect for others and we get along well outside of the actual sex. Someone throwing up roadblocks from the start would be a red flag. 

[lcmim 1,081]

I guess you can say that I am prejudiced. That is in accordance to the meaning of the word, from pre  judicare, to judge beforehand.

 

I have an onboard suspicion regarding the will, wisdom and intent of one race. I am willing to recognize those to be trusted , but only after vetting.

 

 

The race?

 

The human one.