MidLifeFun 148 Posted October 28, 2022 We reignited our search for new swing partners and I’m wondering how others handle who they meet and why you meet. We both agree that there is magic in meeting a new partner, a feeling you have only once. We used to build relationships, make friends and have ongoing sexual play with those we met. Over the years we met those that we have remained friends with over years of play in spite of moving to different areas. With the new search in a new area we had a talk about building new circles of friends or expand to finding multiple play partners. Being honest my wife said she enjoys newness and the added excitement of new partners. I didn’t expect her to say that. The talk led to do we just meet anyone or set up standards, of course we have standards. I am excited to meet new partners too, the newness and variety many of us want but trying to keep safety a priority. Are we becoming sluts in our midlife or is it normal to want variety? Are others feeling as we do that variety is the spice we want. 4 3 Quote Share this post Link to post
TricianMike 788 Posted October 28, 2022 We hate labels, slut is not in our vocabulary. We decided that one night or one hour meetings are fun, exciting, and different every time. The big problem is finding couples that only want a one time meet meaning Michael usually has sex with our regular friends. Finding single men for anonymous sex is easier, we find men at hotels or sporting events. We don’t use slut yet I can act like one if I want. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,717 Posted October 28, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, MidLifeFun said: We both agree that there is magic in meeting a new partner, a feeling you have only once... Being honest my wife said she enjoys newness and the added excitement of new partners. Are we becoming sluts in our midlife..? Why is it that to qualify as a slut means to have continuing new partners, rather than a husband and two guys on the side? I have a variety of sex with my men (and women); more I think, than swingers who just venture out a couple of times a month. I feel left out. 😉 Edited October 28, 2022 by couplers 3 Quote Share this post Link to post
njbm 2,901 Posted October 29, 2022 Part of the fun of swinging is the novelty of new partners. Regular swing partners can get repetitive or stale. We met a couple with a three times (to play) and you’re out. Interesting. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post
Tomy Nikki 62 Posted October 29, 2022 I would tell it would always be a mix of both regular and new partners. Both have their own advantages. For Tomy he prefers always new partners as he likes variety and for me it is about mix of both. The regulars know what you like and how and the new ones is always an experiment. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,717 Posted October 29, 2022 For me, there has to be a need and a strong attraction to go through the effort it takes to find a new play partner. This happened for Clair, Lora, and me when we decided that the three women/two men in our poly family no longer satisfied us women. (A result of us all getting into our thirties.) Clair, our stay-at-home mom, found Becky and Frank, parents of another student, who were in the opposite situation of her unable to provide sex. We all met and a deal was struck. 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
TricianMike 788 Posted October 29, 2022 Michael has no problem with me enjoying a random man we can talk into joining us in a hotel room. I feel the excitement of the whole meeting starts with our conversation with a stranger, how they will react and what will happen. Most men we engage are happy to get a blow job, many will have full sex. Some will get hard immediately, some can’t. Some will go 10 seconds, some go very long. I normally say size doesn’t matter yet it does in the first viewing if he is outside a normal average. Pickups are not the only meetings we have, it is a fun side of our swinging. Convincing a couple is much harder to accomplish, very rare, and then there was a one couple who we have stayed in touch with who doesn’t live near us. 7 Quote Share this post Link to post
findinganswers 369 Posted October 30, 2022 Mostly regular partners for us with a few friends of friends sprinkled in. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Numex 2,459 Posted October 30, 2022 We have enough regulars to keep us satisfied with variety. Quote Share this post Link to post
kcjones 59 Posted November 2, 2022 My wife likes the "Newness" factor, but I just prefer "Different". The best experiences I've had in the lifestyle have never come from first encounters. So for us, the happy medium is having an ever-changing group of couples. Couples come in and out all the time for various reasons. I think for me its about building a certain level of trust with a partner (And possibly her spouse). 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
PJ&Lin 188 Posted November 18, 2022 I enjoy steak! Do I want it every night? I love my wife and she loves me yet we decided to add variety to our diet. Quote Share this post Link to post
KatrinaandDriverX 121 Posted November 19, 2022 Isn't the point to have fun ? However YOU like to have fun in the Lifestyle ? Isn't the point , in general, to have sex with someone who is really going to enjoy having sex with you ? And, you with them ? I think people overthink it all. It truly gets in the damn way. Quote Share this post Link to post