Billygoat 445 Posted October 29, 2022 We recently reconnected with old friends. we used to play often but they moved away after retirement. We were surprised when they reached out when they were in the area for a family function and suggested dinner together to catch up before their return flight. It was great to catch up and share memories of the past. One thing they brought up was interesting, a little concerning, but knowing Kyla (not her real name) and her desires when she shared her experience….and ongoing enjoyment….it made sense. Kyla has been living as a submissive wife for the past 20-30 years. She is collared by her husband. She wears a variety of “collars” publicly. Chain style necklaces and some chokers. She was always extremely adventurous both socially and sexually. Once we knew them well we understood her desires and kink. She loves to be restrained, blindfolded or hooded. And loves to be used, sexually. The more the merrier. When they attended our parties she would ask us to share her attendance and request a number of our male single/solo friends to attend…for her. They preferred raw sex acts to completion so it was always at a safe level for her and him. And they joined a closed network where they now live in Florida. Now that I have explained that keep in mind this kink they are into is consensual and desired by her. They explained that her desire to be “used” always was a little less as she doesn’t drink or use anything so sh “knows” what will happen just not who. In time she always knew who, by smell, feel or activity so a lot of the surprise…or excitement of the unknown is diminished. Kyla, like me has major sleep issues and has been taking ambien for some time. From time to time Ben (not his name) would reach for her after going to bed or in the night and they discovered that more times then not she didn’t wake or if she did slightly awake she rarely had a memory of what happened other then the normal telltale signs that she had sex, wet spot, leaking cum or dried cum on her. Ben said it did great things for him and Kyla was going on and on of how much it turned her on. Going to sleep she never knew if Ben was going to have her in some way….or not. I myself did take ambien in the past but had to stop bye to sleep walking and wondering around the house (scaring the crape out of the Queen) and never having memory of it. So I am very familiar with it. so now from time to time Ben invites men and couples from their network to come over to their house…. after Kyla has drifted off….and join him in “using” Kyla. I will say that I have not seen this level of excitement in Kyla’s face….eyes….when she shared that she never knows when and who it might happen with. She truly loves it and now she has no clue who it was other then the usual signs that sex has happened. I have their permission to share this. It is completely consensual. And I haven’t seen her this giddy in a long time. I’ve mentioned this to a few of our friends and none have tried this but a few are interested. has anyone here tried this? Quote Share this post Link to post
EastInWest 1,524 Posted October 29, 2022 (edited) Have not tried it, but most subby women I've known had fantasies that overlapped with this. For some, the kink is in the loss of control and the anxiety that comes with being in control. Literally not knowing what happened feels like a fairly extreme form of that. I'm sure many women would be intrigued, few would want to try it, and fewer still would have a partner they could trust to try it with. You'll probably find this is a very touchy thread for some, as BDSM topics are often divisive and this overlaps with some very sensitive consent issues. It's clearly not for everyone. I suspect that if I had a partner who asked me to arrange this type of scene, I would probably tell them "no", at least not unless I knew for certain they were already comfortable with the people involved. Edited October 29, 2022 by EastInWest 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
njbm 2,901 Posted October 30, 2022 I would not participate. I don’t think Kyla is in a condition to give knowing consent. We’ve been to parties where women were blotto drunk and easy marks to play with. I knew well enough not to engage them. Sometimes my wife would tease me “ You know not to do someone in that condition!” Next day you can get picked up for assault. Give me a woman who is awake, alert and active! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Billygoat 445 Posted October 30, 2022 I agree with the general concern, consent. And both of us never play with those who are deep in their cups. We generally only play with those we know well….and know us. New playmates we normally play with those who have not been drinking….or have had only a glass or two. Consent is HUGE with us. However please keep in mind that “Kyla” had given her consent. And they only play with those in their closed group. An older group…..most all are retired. According to Kyla who spoke very enthusiastically about this adventure she loves it. Her choice. I know this isn’t our cup of tea. The Queen has no interest at all. For me I need and thrive off the woman/women I’m with, their reactions to what I am doing. The excite noises…moans. So some one essentially passed out or unconscious, at their request, does nothing for me. I/we have participated in those blind folded, hooded etc but they all have had their voice to respond. Again, Kyla’s kink. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
EastInWest 1,524 Posted October 30, 2022 2 hours ago, Billygoat said: However please keep in mind that “Kyla” had given her consent. And they only play with those in their closed group. An older group…..most all are retired. According to Kyla who spoke very enthusiastically about this adventure she loves it. Her choice. I know this isn’t our cup of tea. The Queen has no interest at all. For me I need and thrive off the woman/women I’m with, their reactions to what I am doing. Yes. BDSM activities involve a lot of trust and accountability between the people involved, and this shifts that onto the "awake" partner in a big way. Even in a very high-trust situation, there is a lot that could go wrong. I would hate to be on the blaming end of a "you let WHO do WHAT, didn't you know better"-type conversation that was very avoidable by not indulging this particular kink. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Anon321 524 Posted November 17, 2022 My GF is also extremely submissive and into some of this stuff. The problem is what everyone else said - consent. My GF has had more than one experience when she drank so much that she didn't remember everything that happened the night before which is why it's important that an SO is there to protect her and understand when she can and cannot give consent so that she's not being taken advantage of. In this case it sounds like they kind of have that part but it still doesn't seem like she's able to give consent at the time. My GF can get tipsy or even drunk and make her own sexual decisions but I can very much see when she is unable to give consent and that is when the official line has been crossed and you end the game. Quote Share this post Link to post