angry sex

[couplers 4,636]

It used to be that when I had a fight in our poly family (they are pretty mild BTW, little more than a disagreement) with either my husband or Red, I felt that sex was off the agenda until the issue was resolved (my way).  Pretty much the same with me and Lora and Clair.

But starting around Labor Day this year, late August, I started doing the opposite – I would give sex (sometimes putting it as a demand is even better) to my antagonist.  It was in no way an apology or making up, it was/is angry sex.  The thing is that with no apologies, no “communicating/talking it out/resolving the issues,” whatever the problem, it went/goes away.

It’s not romantic or intended to be fun either.  I get him into a room, any room, lock the door and quickly take my clothes off.  Neither David or Red has ever been so pissed to turn me down.  It’s not make-up sex like before when we would go through the process of resolving things first. It is angry sex, after which the post-coital feelings for both of us makes whatever the dispute was seem trivial.

It works the same with Lora once I can get her pants down and go between her legs.  Clair won’t go for it directly, but after she’s had sex with one of the men, she lets me lick her with good conclusions.

So anyone else like this?  It’s not the old “never go to bed mad,” it’s “go to bed mad and have angry sex,” everything will be alright.  I haven’t read about this elsewhere.  Anyone else use this approach to conflict resolution? 
 

[lcmim 1,082]

Makes sense to me. The Bonobos have been doing this type of thing for years.

 

It is one of the reasons that women can be blamed for our species developing as being successfully communal.

 It also resolves disputes between the males when the females offer up therapy.

 

 There is puissance in the pussy

[Numex 2,414]

3 hours ago, couplers said:

 I get him into a room, any room, lock the door and quickly take my clothes off.

That would work when a woman does it, but would come off as a brutish power play if a man took the same approach.

 

What Daniela and I do is pretty much the opposite.  She goes to her favorite couple, and I to my favorite woman play partner, and we both get sex and some marriage counseling from other sex partners.  But you're right, 

3 hours ago, couplers said:

the post-coital feelings for both of us makes whatever the dispute was seem trivial.

It makes us want one another and to get back together. 

[Anon321 522]

My GF will actually try to make you angry to initiate sex.  I know it sounds odd but it's true.  Maybe a week ago my buddy was on his phone writing an email for work and my GF ripped it out of his hands and looked at it and said something like "oh an email.. let me just delete that" and then walked away with his phone while he kept telling her to bring it back.  She walks into the kitchen and says "one second let me just look through your pictures and texts first."  Then he got up and ran over to the kitchen and said something like "give me the phone you fucking whore" (we all knew what was coming so it wasn't like this was offensive or anything to my GF it's exactly what she wanted to hear).  Then there was a little bit of wrestling and my buddy took his anger out on her pussy and throat.  These things kind of start off a little silly sometimes but they end up soooo hot,

 

By the way my buddy was able to recover the email he wrote so it was a happy ending all around. 

[couplers 4,636]

On 11/8/2022 at 7:02 AM, couplers said:

I would give sex .. to my antagonist.  It was in no way an apology or making up, it was/is angry sex.  The thing is that with no apologies, no “communicating/talking it out/resolving the issues,” whatever the problem, it went/goes away.

 

On 11/8/2022 at 10:24 AM, lcmim said:

The Bonobos have been doing this type of thing for years.

 

It is one of the reasons that women can be blamed for our species developing as being successfully communal.

 It also resolves disputes between

 

14 hours ago, Anon321 said:

My GF will actually try to make you angry to initiate sex.

Now that's sending mixed signals.  Does it ever lead to misunderstandings?

[Anon321 522]

5 hours ago, couplers said:

 

 

Now that's sending mixed signals.  Does it ever lead to misunderstandings?

If you know my GF - not at all.  If you're completely new to her then it can.  But if she doesn't know you she won't try to piss you off quite as much.  But if she does know you she will 100% try to push the envelope and try to actually make you angry or irritated.  My buddy was legitimately angry when she took his phone and deleted his email and then began to search through his phone.  I think it would piss a lot of people off.  But at the same time he knew what was coming and he took his anger out on the sex.