Partner Swap / Foursome Fantasy to Reality

[HotCplUk3040 5]

Well like most people I think I’m here for some clarification, confidence building and to see if what’s going on in our relationship is valid to potentially move on

 

Like many we fantasise and talk dirty during sex. It began with my partner talking about how she wanted to watch me with another woman…. That evolved into me adding another man (ie couple) to the scene and since then my partner has said about extra single men joining the double couple for some greedy girls action

 

Now I must admit although this turns me on and I love the thought of it, I and her will still need to cross that personal jealousy and insecurity factor and that’s a big part of where we go from here.

 

I will also add that she had a couple swap in a previous relationship but only played with the woman as she didn’t find the male attractive 

 

I want to discuss the reality of this but feel I could spoil what we have by maybe saying should we explore this 

 

Any encouragement appreciated, I’d love to here from those in similar situations and advice on any pitfalls or red flags we should worry about as I’m sure there is a lot to consider 

[njbm 2,901]

Go to a vanilla swingers’ meet and greet. They have them in bars and such. No sex occurs on premises. Talk to real swingers about swinging. When they find out you are rookies (fresh meat), you will garner a lot of attention. See if the idea still appeals to you one step closer to the reality of playing. You may meet a couple or couples with whom there is a bond to play. 

You can find these events on SLS, SDC, etc. Swing websites. 

[couplers 4,718]

18 hours ago, HotCplUk3040 said:

Any encouragement appreciated

I, for one, will encourage you.  Like many others here, I say that being nonmonogamous is one of the best aspects of my life and strengthened my relationships. 

 

18 hours ago, HotCplUk3040 said:

although this turns me on and I love the thought of it, I and her will still need to cross that personal jealousy and insecurity factor

Unlike many here, I advocate facing your fears and just do it.  Yes, move cautiously, but when you believe the situation is right, go for it without hesitation.  Some say that there is a possibility of permanent damage; there isn't.  If it turns out it's not for you two, be mature, stop, move on.

 

19 hours ago, HotCplUk3040 said:

she had a couple swap in a previous relationship but only played with the woman

Let your wife lead.  She knows what she's doing. 

[Numex 2,459]

11 hours ago, couplers said:

 

On 11/26/2022 at 10:51 AM, HotCplUk3040 said:

she had a couple swap in a previous relationship but only played with the woman

Let your wife lead.  She knows what she's doing. 

Worked for me.  I suggested to Daniela that she play and I wouldn't, and she took it from there.  It was a road that we went down together through several variations and have now happily settled into swinging within a closed group.  Letting her lead made it all easy and without drama.