Sharing a house

[PJ&Lin 188]

Linda and I have been looking for house ever since we moved into our current place. Everybody knows that on top of high prices now the higher interest rates have made it difficult for us so we are waiting for the market correction or mortgage rates coming down. The big problem is our lease is up at the end of the year and a new lease has a huge increase attached to it. A new lease would also lock us in for a full year with us hoping to move out as soon as we can afford a new place. We told a few people about our problem thinking they know someone selling or would rent us a place on a month by month. For the last few months most or all of our free time has been spent with a few swinger friends and their friends. I credit my terrific wife for all the invitations we receive and being welcomed. 
Last night we were at our friend’s place along with others when the topic of house hunting came up. Our friend mentioned our current situation of needing a place in a month when it was suggested we move into one of our new friend’s house. I took it as a throw away suggestion, a joke, we don’t know the couple well and I thought it would be a crazy idea. They like us don’t have children, unlike us they own a nice sized house. 
Before saying living as a poly family is fun, we are not looking for a poly situation, we hardly know them, our attraction is they are nice. We have never been to their house and we have never been alone socially with them. We left it as a possibility, they should think about before we decide how we would should proceed. 
We posted in the Help section of the forums asking for opinions and pros and cons. To repeat this not a romantic attraction even if it is sexual swinging one. If we did move in we will be guests and I feel infringing on their life. There is that saying guests are like fish smelling after a few days. My worry is if we move in and aren’t happy where do we go. If they aren’t happy will they ask us to leave. I haven’t had a roommate since college and that wasn’t always perfect. Linda thinks I’m overthinking and it could be fun, she thinks everything is fun.  

[PeterJ 948]

First, if you cannot afford to purchase a house now, I’m sorry to say that unless you are very close to being able to, the chances you will be able to in the next few months — really, the next couple of years — is effectively zero. Realistically you need to be looking for a year-long lease. And, yes, you’ll be paying more for a place that;s equivalent to what you have now.

 

I mention the above because the notion of moving in with new-found fuck buddies would likely be dubious for a week or two. For several months or a year, I think the odds of it working out well would be vanishingly small. The only way I could imagine this working out would be if they had a self-contained mother-in-law unit and you were paying rent. (And even then the sexual factor would bring the potential for unhappy complications.)

 

Here’s to some good fortune in your hunt for housing. As you have noted, this is a tough time to be in the market.

[travelingprofessional 47]

I agree with Peterj. A month, maybe this works out. Longer term it won't.

 

It is difficult to make an accurate comment about purchasing a house without knowing your financial situation and the area you're looking to purchase. I will say that I have in-depth knowledge about a handful of real estate markets around the country. Though every market is different, the common theme is prices rose far too much over the last couple years and interest rates have almost eliminated demand. Supply was pretty low and continues to be. Sellers aren't desperate enough to really reduce prices. 

 

With all that if you are actively shopping now and are finding it difficult (you didn't explain why) you aren't going to see much of a change in the next 6 months. Rates will continue to rise and but prices will hold pretty well (maybe a 10% reduction in some areas). However, that 10% reduction won't do much for your payment with the rising rates.

 

4 hours ago, PJ&Lin said:

waiting for the market correction or mortgage rates coming down

Again, this depends on where you are looking for a house. I have a friend that has been waiting for a correction in a handful of CA markets for 20 years. Rates aren't coming down significantly (I don't think they'll come down much from here for some time) to make any difference in your potential payment (again, no idea where you're looking or what price point). A "correction" (unknown how you're defining that) won't happen because supply is still low, those on the market and not selling are being taken off the market and not being discounted. You won't see increased supply until Sprung 2023, early Summer 2023. I'd recommend signing a lease so you don't chase an overpriced house out of desperation.

 

[discreetplay 235]

1 hour ago, travelingprofessional said:

I have in-depth knowledge about a handful of real estate markets around the country

travelingprofessional is quite knowledgeable about real estate matters. The OP didn't mention where they are looking to buy and their profile is silent as to where they live so it is difficult to speak about the market they're in. I agree with Peterj and travelingpro that the suggested living arrangement won't work long-term.

 

You mention that your renewed lease has a "huge" increase. You should start shopping around. With inflation where it is and likely to remain, and a recession on the horizon, you should look to find a cheaper living arrangement and not lock into a year of a "huge" increase.

[Numex 2,413]

5 hours ago, PJ&Lin said:

we don’t know the couple well

I agree with the posters above, but would get to know the couple better.  No expectations, but I would be curious.

[MidwestHoneys 358]

We were house hunting the boom interest rates almost doubled. Banks taking advantage quick to increase less quick to reduce. I’m following the rates which have come off the highs still to high for us. 
I agree the spring will bring more product to the market because of kids in school nobody wants to freak a kid out. 
Moving in with strangers is crazy, moving in with friends is crazy. I find it hard being with anyone for a week before going crazy. 
My advice is find a place and only stay a short time with these people.  Three days of fucking will get old fast. 

[MrMrsswinger 202]

13 hours ago, MidwestHoneys said:

Banks taking advantage quick to increase

Banks do decide the interest rate on mortgages. You sound like those who blame oil companies for gas prices at the pump. The 30 year mortgage rate basically tracks the 10 year treasury. Want to know where mortgage rates are going, watch it.

 

 

I agree with those above. Moving in with this couple won't work and will likely ruin any future encounters with them.

[PJ&Lin 188]

On 11/27/2022 at 2:10 PM, PeterJ said:

First, if you cannot afford to purchase a house now, I’m sorry to say that unless you are very close to being able to, the chances you will be able to in the next few months — really, the next couple of years — is effectively zero. Realistically you need to be looking for a year-long lease. And, yes, you’ll be paying more for a place that;s equivalent to what you have now.

Fortunately we are able to buy now, we don’t want to buy at the top of the market at a high rate. We feel both rates and prices make it a terrible time to buy. Our parents remind us that rates when they bought were in the 13-14% range so 5-6% isn’t terrible. 
 

We decided to look for a rental that would be month to month or we will have to take the 1 year lease way. Right now we don’t want to rush so if we had the extra time to look we are thinking a month or so. 
 

Our new friends said we are welcome to stay with them as long as we need to. The extra bedroom is not a mother in law apartment it sounds more like a live in help area. On the first floor with a bathroom could be a guest room. Our commute to work would be longer too. They invited us to check out the house to see if we deal with the stay if we need it. I suggested we have dinner together and talk, just the four of us in a social nonsexual setting. 

[lcmim 1,082]

This MIGHT work if it is primarily a non LS business arrangement. As you are not in need of charity, insist in paying a healthy rent. That will even the field and simplify any other relationship.

 

[lovefest04 699]

"Fortunately we are able to buy now, we don’t want to buy at the top of the market at a high rate. We feel both rates and prices make it a terrible time to buy. Our parents remind us that rates when they bought were in the 13-14% range so 5-6% isn’t terrible."

 

House are not investments and the decision as to when to buy shouldn't be made on that basis. Yes, we all know someone that bought a place at x and sold for y. In fact. my neighbor just did so. Paid $650,000 in foreclosure in 2015 and just sold for $1.8M. BUT no one believes that kind of opportunity will come from this current correction. For each of those people there are 100's that have been waiting for prices to correct, while prices just keep moving out of reach.

 

Prices are likely to come down, but as a previous post stated not by much, maybe 10-20%. Interest rates will come down, but not for a couple of years. If you find a place, make you offer as neat and tidy as you can, offer personal information about you and how much you love the place, compliment the current owners on the property and clarify the price based on interest rates and market slow down. The current owner(s) may be more afraid of an unknown market correction that a discount today.

 

Those that are just removing listings know that winter is a tough time anytime and they may not NEED to sell. Others are so fortunate.

 

If you want a home to make you own then I'd suggest you keep looking, and discount price by 10-15%. See what you find. You may be 6 months early on those that will reduce but nothing ventured nothing gained.

 

Happy hunting.

[MidwestHoneys 358]

10 hours ago, MrMrsswinger said:

You sound like those who blame oil companies for gas prices at the pump.

You sound like you blame a politician. Record profit’s are just coincidental 

[PJ&Lin 188]

As sexual as this sounds we keep reminding ourselves this is a living arrangement. Sharing a house has responsibilities and rules need to discussed. 
We offered to pay rent and share household costs that include food and utilities.  We don’t want to be freeloaders. 

[cplnluv1 872]

On 11/29/2022 at 7:28 AM, PJ&Lin said:

As sexual as this sounds we keep reminding ourselves this is a living arrangement.

Yes a living arrangement with a sexual part. Would you consider living with strangers if there weren’t that sexual benefit. It is their house with their rules. If you ever visited friends or shared a vacation house with others you quickly learn that people are set in their ways that don’t always coincide with your ways. 

[PJ&Lin 188]

Following up. 
We are staying where we are. Living with others can make for a difficult situation. Thinking back to us moving in together there were many things we had to adjust to and we were in love. Moving in with strangers and being guests in their house can lead to problems when there is no place to go, no place to go home to. 
After spending a weekend being a guest, a trial run to see what living together would be we are sure it is not for us.