Surprised by Age Difference

[BillyandDebbie 301]

Deb and I are adjusting to meeting strangers on swing sites. From finding people from our past, seeing people we know from other places to not feeling it when meeting the first time. I get excited just knowing Deb is looking at profiles, what catches her eye and wonder why she passes over some. I wonder why she gives a thumbs down on some of my suggestions, some are just a feeling she gets. 
The day after Thanksgiving she was looking and asked me to take a look. I will emphasize that if you post make sure your picture is a great one, clothed and together, especially if you want to catch the eye of a woman. I feel creepy saying looks count, it does for us.  It’s what makes Deb stop and look. My eyes go to the female while Debbie looks at the couple. 
Post was an attractive male, fit and I would label Mediterranean, female all American and my guess younger. One of the pictures was a wedding photo, another a beach picture, another taken very casual. No red flags on the profile I gave Deb a thumbs up to contact them. I think it is better for the women to have first contact as it shakes out fakes. An hour later a response from him but Debbie was emphatic that she needed to hear from the wife before any more is said. I figured that would end it. My surprise she was contacted with a phone number to call. Debbie called and got the details. There is a 20+ year difference in age. He’s an attorney, second marriage, she is a school teacher that met him on a vacation three years ago. They are married almost two years. 

[enhancer 1,584]

Not sure what the problem would be with couples with big age differences, but I know it clearly is for some!  I think people sometimes assume when there is a big age difference in a couple that it must be a gold digger situation or something.  Maybe they think there is no way they could be a legit couple that are in love.  
 

As a couple that has a 13 year age difference ourselves her being 38 and myself being 51 I can say that it is definitely not a money thing, because when we meet I had just came out of a 16 year marriage and had nothing, but myself and two daughters to take care of.  As for us being a legit couple I don’t know anyone closer and more connected then we are.  
 

Personally we don’t  really give a shit if people reject us or judge us, because of the age gape.  They are more then welcome to look elsewhere.  As a 51 year old man I look younger and am in better shape then many of the guys that are 10 to 15 years younger then me so if they want to pass on us just because of my age go ahead.  Truth is she would be passing on many of them anyways, because looks and attitude do matter to us way more then age ever will.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

At some point, the age numbers become less relevant. They are even less relevant within a couple that has chosen to go through life as a couple. Let's agree that it might be awkward for some when the other couple is the age of one's parents or one's children. Otherwise, we look at the persons and not their driver licenses. 

[cplnluv1 871]

4 hours ago, Fundamental Law said:

At some point, the age numbers become less relevant.

Very true if you are 60-40. The older you get the less the disparity becomes. We have been with younger play couples.  Our first couple, and I use that tag cautiously, were younger with the young lady more than legal age but younger than I am now comfortable with, she was the way more mature of the two. We have become friends with her over the years and no longer look at her as young. 
According to posts by the OP the age difference they are now asking about may fall into the realm of a weird age spread. Does a couple of ~40 have thoughts of younger lady or gentleman 20 years younger? Does being married two years legitimize the relationship? 
 

[BillyandDebbie 301]

Debbie reminded me it was a year ago we started our open mindedness. Wow. Then it was friends, was that easier or harder and did that lead us into temptation. 
The age thing is bothering me more, Debbie less. She was the one who found them and made the contact. She just saw an attractive pair, read the intro and figured I would like them too. 
Now as stated 20 years has context. Thinking back to my school years my teachers who I thought were older were most likely 20 years older. 
If the weather isn’t horrible Deb is meeting Mrs. Teacher after work to talk and see if there is any connection. I am leaving it to Deb because I may look at age more and connection less. I would ask stupid questions instead of lady talk. What is also bothering me is I am focusing on me and a younger woman instead of Deb and a physically attractive man of our age. More so I should focus on a couple. 

[enhancer 1,584]

13 minutes ago, BillyandDebbie said:

Debbie reminded me it was a year ago we started our open mindedness. Wow. Then it was friends, was that easier or harder and did that lead us into temptation. 
The age thing is bothering me more, Debbie less. She was the one who found them and made the contact. She just saw an attractive pair, read the intro and figured I would like them too. 
Now as stated 20 years has context. Thinking back to my school years my teachers who I thought were older were most likely 20 years older. 
If the weather isn’t horrible Deb is meeting Mrs. Teacher after work to talk and see if there is any connection. I am leaving it to Deb because I may look at age more and connection less. I would ask stupid questions instead of lady talk. What is also bothering me is I am focusing on me and a younger woman instead of Deb and a physically attractive man of our age. More so I should focus on a couple. 

Your last line is something I agree with!

[BillyandDebbie 301]

7 minutes ago, enhancer said:

Your last line is something I agree with!

Just thinking that it’s Debbie that found the posting and she is looking at them as a couple. My thoughts ran to me having sex with a younger woman while it may be Debbie’s desire to be with someone younger. I know all of her searches were filtered to include bisexual females, a new preference for Deb and an added excitement for me. Just doing more thinking, maybe I am a voyeur wanting to watch Debbie enjoying as much as me participating. Just a year ago I was secretly happy her first partner, our friend, didn’t make her orgasm the first time, but when she finally did I was way more happy. 
One of the things I am enjoying is posting and thinking. As I post it makes me think about what we want and what I want, now I’m thinking what Deb wants. I should just ask her more questions, that’s always fun. 

[TricianMike 772]

I don’t know why you are surprised by age differences in couples. Throughout history older men have been attracted to younger women and some women have found security in older men. Then there are Cougars, women who search out younger men and the men who are willing to satisfy the cougars. My husband knows my sexual preferences because we talk and he is happy to find partners to satisfy my wants. 
If we are with friends that are swingers, those that we will be more than sexual outlets for we look for age equivalent people. If we are looking for a one time no attachment play I prefer a younger partner. Fortunately younger men still find me attractive enough for a no strings attached quicky. I think it is easier for me to find a younger man vs. Mike finding a younger woman unless we meet a younger couple. 

[TricianMike 772]

17 hours ago, TricianMike said:

Fortunately younger men still find me attractive enough for a no strings attached quicky. I think it is easier for me to find a younger man

This proved true again last night. We were at a sports bar near MetLife stadium where the game was horrible and the weather worse. Nobody wanted to sit in the rain so the bar was busy. We had no idea who would show up Christmas weekend on a Thursday night game and we didn’t book a hotel. Michael likes to watch me flirt at the bar, I didn’t dress up, just jeans and sweater and started talking to a few Jet fans. I have perfected a way to find if guys want to do more without coming off as an escort. My biggest problem is convincing them that there is a man, my husband, who wants to watch and I don’t want money. 

[couplers 4,614]

17 hours ago, TricianMike said:

convincing them that there is a man, my husband, who wants to watch and I don’t want money. 

So then he's says, "Yeah, ok, but how much do I have to pay him to leave us alone?"

Edited December 24, 2022 by couplers

[BillyandDebbie 301]

Thanks for the PMs we received asking us what happened. 
 

Debbie and young wife met before Christmas for coffee and to talk about whatever women talk about. Debbie was hesitant to ask too much and reported that she was physically attractive, seemed educated and more importantly stable. 
After coming home she wanted to know if we can have drinks with them the day after Christmas which was Monday. We made the date thinking possibly it would go from to drinks to more. The drinks happened but the more didn’t. I felt they would make the move because Debbie and I have signals we would be interested. When we got home our after drink talk was they most likely didn’t want to see us again. Deb said I should have pushed to do more which I felt strange doing. Let’s face it, we are learning the etiquette of meeting. 
Yesterday Debbie gets a text from YW, young Wife, asking to talk. We misread, or I failed to pick up their clues that she found me sexy. (Blush). 
Short story is they invited for drinks at their house Friday night. We already have NYE plans, so did they so Friday is fine or we would wait another week. 
I feel younger already and age means nothing. 

[BillyandDebbie 301]

Giddy is a word I don’t hear often. This morning as I was shaving Debbie said I seemed giddy. She said she I was acting different because of the date we have tonight. Truth is I’m excited to be with the younger wife and also worried about what she expects. Debbie then brought me back to earth saying she gets to fuck a real handsome guy tonight. Hey, didn’t you fuck this handsome guy last night? TBH there are butterflies knowing we are meeting  new partners and not knowing how we will click. Am I the only man with anxiety, you know, hard enough, not too fast and it’s not like I have those problems. 

[cplnluv1 871]

Happy New Year 🎆 

 

This post came to mind while at a party. We were with a number of people across a wide range of ages and we all interacted on the same level as if age didn’t matter. It made me think if those in the lifestyle meet others for social, intellectual or sexual reason. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

It is not uncommon for younger women to be attracted to older men. It is also not uncommon for older men to be attracted to younger women. It is not uncommon for younger women and older men to find each other and have a relationship (especially if it is a second marriage). While we generally stay away from couples with a large age difference (based solely on the fact that we usually have less in common with people who are 20 years younger), if we were to meet a couple like this that we connected with, we wouldn't have a problem with it. One thing that we usually do is always try to meet with any couples that want to meet us. You never know where that 'spark' may come from. Instead of questioning it, just go with it and see if there still is any interest after you all meet.

 

[PJ&Lin 188]

On 1/3/2023 at 4:50 PM, cplnluv1 said:

Happy New Year 🎆 

 

This post came to mind while at a party. We were with a number of people across a wide range of ages and we all interacted on the same level as if age didn’t matter. It made me think if those in the lifestyle meet others for social, intellectual or sexual reason. 

Ultimately it is sex in the context of this group yet we want people we can relate to. 

 

On 12/28/2022 at 4:40 PM, BillyandDebbie said:

Short story is they invited for drinks at their house Friday night. We already have NYE plans, so did they so Friday is fine or we would wait another week. 

You’re leaving us hanging. Did you or didn’t you? 

[BillyandDebbie 301]

23 hours ago, PJ&Lin said:

Ultimately it is sex in the context of this group yet we want people we can relate to. 

That is true for us. We looked for sexual partners who we want to spend time with. We don’t want just a sexual experience then go home without ever knowing the people we were intimate with. 
 

23 hours ago, PJ&Lin said:

You’re leaving us hanging. Did you or didn’t you? 

Yes we did and the fear of age was unfounded. We realized she has been interacting with her husband’s friends who are our age and she wasn’t an immature young lady. After a short time the age difference disappeared in a social context. I can’t deny that in a sexual context I certainly knew I was with a younger lady. Not sure if it is age that had me experience something new with her. 
Now that we got by the age question I want to add the Debbie had a great time with the closer to our age husband. His energy level and outlook were youthful in a way that made the experience fun for all of us. 

[MidwestHoneys 356]

5 hours ago, BillyandDebbie said:

Not sure if it is age that had me experience something new with her. 

I’m wondering what that something new is. Honey said a number of the older partners she played with comment that it was something they never experienced before and I laugh. I tell her every partner is a new experience which doesn’t make it a better one. Because of Honey I have played with older women, different not always better. 

[BillyandDebbie 301]

20 hours ago, MidwestHoneys said:

I’m wondering what that something new is

I don’t want to come across as clueless. What I experienced I knew about I just never had it happen with anyone I was with. I researched years ago when I heard about it then searched on here to see what others said.. I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with her age. I want to say it was my sexual prowess that made it happen or she was just turned on being with me. 

[EastInWest 1,524]

I don't see why it'd be creepy to consider that "looks count". We're here for sexual chemistry and that's part of the formula - though not the only ingredient, by far.

 

I don't know how valuable my input is here, but I'll say that Mrs. E and I have a notable age difference in the other direction. We both lift, do yoga, and keep up on cardio. We eat (reasonably) well. We take care of our skin and watch our weight. The reality is that most people in the general population, even young people, are not taking very good care of themselves, and regardless of age, if you make an effort and dress up a bit, you should probably feel more confident than you think you should.

 

We're not forming romantic bonds here, and with that out of the dynamic, age norms probably skew the opposite of what you'd expect from vanilla gender stereotypes. Since we started experimenting, I've been with women from almost 20 years younger to almost 20 years older and always had fun. Mrs. E usually prefers to dive in with a few years older down to much younger. She's certainly made a few MILF fantasies come true. We both agree that under 21 is too young, but get hit up by grad students regularly enough. (Admittedly, her more than me, but a guy can't take that personally.)

 

When Mrs. E used to stress about the potential fallout of our early play, my go-to phrase was "it's just cum". If the couple likes each other and likes you, and you can see it being a fun experience free of unwanted drama, what's the use of overthinking this?

 

On 12/23/2022 at 3:45 PM, TricianMike said:

I have perfected a way to find if guys want to do more without coming off as an escort. My biggest problem is convincing them that there is a man, my husband, who wants to watch and I don’t want money. 

Please share this wisdom, I think many of us could use it. More than once we've joked that the interaction would probably be met with less confusion if there *was* money involved.

[cplnluv1 871]

10 hours ago, BillyandDebbie said:

I don’t want to come across as clueless. What I experienced I knew about I just never had it happen with anyone I was with. I researched years ago when I heard about it then searched on here to see what others said.. I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with her age. I want to say it was my sexual prowess that made it happen or she was just turned on being with me. 

Whatever you experienced is good for you. We all hope that each meeting leads to a new experience for all. 

[MidwestHoneys 356]

On 1/7/2023 at 12:23 PM, BillyandDebbie said:

I don’t want to come across as clueless. What I experienced I knew about I just never had it happen with anyone I was with. I researched years ago when I heard about it then searched on here to see what others said.. I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with her age. I want to say it was my sexual prowess that made it happen or she was just turned on being with me. 

Now you are being elusive.  Trying to figure out what happened 

[BillyandDebbie 301]

On 1/10/2023 at 11:28 AM, MidwestHoneys said:

Now you are being elusive.  Trying to figure out what happened 

Squirting. Never experienced it and only thought it was a fake thing. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,383]

On 12/23/2022 at 3:45 PM, TricianMike said:

 I have perfected a way to find if guys want to do more without coming off as an escort. My biggest problem is convincing them that there is a man, my husband, who wants to watch and I don’t want money. 

We find that wearing one of these works pretty well in that regard:

 

[enhancer 1,584]

2 hours ago, BillyandDebbie said:

Squirting. Never experienced it and only thought it was a fake thing. 

It is real and it is a lot fun being with a squirter!  Some will say it is pee.  Pee that happens on a empty bladder while a woman is having an orgasm apparently. 

[BillyandDebbie 301]

3 hours ago, enhancer said:

It is real and it is a lot fun being with a squirter!  Some will say it is pee.  Pee that happens on a empty bladder while a woman is having an orgasm apparently. 

What I tasted was pussy juice. We were in a 69 position with her on top when she real orgasmy lifting herself off my mouth and reached between her legs then it happened squirting on my face. I immediately pulled her down on my mouth again getting a totally wet face. 

[Billygoat 443]

Like anything else it is a mater of choice.  There is not a hard line on which side you have to be on.

 

The Queen and I over the many years in the lifestyle have experience many ranges of age with those we have played with.  For us it was always a matter of personality, attitude and an ability to openly participate.  We each have had a wide range of good, better and OMG experiences with a wide range of age ranges.  One of my very best experiences was with a woman in her sixties and I early forties.  We became FWB for several years and and each other’s go to at parties.  I also had numerous experiences with younger women, single and married….and a few that became a poly relationship.

 

The Queen attracted many and like many other women in our circle of friends greatly enjoyed those mid twenties to mid thirties that could cum and bounce back quickly for more.  Many of our MFM, MMFMM and GB featured younger men than the lady participants because they would pop faster and in a short time would come back for more.  Many of them three times in an afternoon or evening gathering.  Although her favorite was an older divorced man late fifties (about a 16 year difference at the time, clipped and snipped) well endowed and long lasting that was her favorite as well as several of our lady friends.  His ability and skill, long lasting and the weird ability to cum on command, when the lady had had enough she would mumble cum or something along those lines and he would cum shortly after (women seemed to really like that).  

Up until our favorite club closing last summer I enjoyed that position of giving, skilled, long lasting, bigger than most (8.5 to 9 X 6.5-7, depending) clipped and snipped.  I was asked many times to be the extra in a MFM, solo and lover experiences. and by single/solo women in a wide range of ages as a trusted and safe play partner.  I always referred to myself as a living breathing sex toy.  And participated with many younger women and couples (30s - 50s, I’m 64) for their one on one, MFM/MMFMM and a few Cockold experiences.  All great sexual fun.  Only doing what they wanted never pushing the envelope. 

 

so it really depends on your mindset and desires.  And depending on yourself, length of time in the lifestyle and experiences you will find that your preferences will open up more and become a much wider range of activity as well as age mix.