Single Male - First MFM. Any tips or advice?

[jrt383 15]

Hi everyone i have been approached by a couple to join them in a mfm! I'm not gay or bi and neither is he but since i've never done this before do you guy's have any tips or suggestions?

 

Tommy

[TeamSoBe 36]

It isn't a gay thing at all, it's a BLAST for a straight guy. You don't seem to present any reasons why it would be a bad idea in your situation. Some people here will warn about doing things like this with friends but we pick off single guy friends of ours whenever we want and we've never accidentally wrecked a friendship over it. Usually you end up much better friends. If your friends think that you can handle it and you think that you can handle it then you might as well try it.

 

Lots of people here will be happy to help with any specific questions or concerns that you might have.

[WesternSwing 504]

From the male half of a couple, here is what I'd like to see from a single male.

 

1) Remember that you are the stunt cock. Nothing more. You are not a replacement cock, you are an additional cock. And as quick as they brought you in, they can exclude you too.

2) Always let the husband lead, and take your cues from him. Remember, it is his wife and love of his life. Treat her with respect, treat him with respect, and treat their relationship with respect.

3) If you are friends with them, remember that there is no intimacy outside the bedroom. Outside the bedroom you are still JUST FRIENDS.

4) Be clear up front with them about what is okay and what is off limits. Respect their boundries. This will make it a better experience for everyone.

 

As the single male you have the ability to make this an incredible experience for them, or a real wash-out. Do it right and there is a good chance you'll be invited back many more times.

 

Mr. WS

[TeamSoBe 36]

I second #2 and #4. In our case #1 and #3 are different. We enjoy becoming more intimate with friends who we are close with and who we respect. Male, female, couples, whatever. We don't see them as body parts and we wouldn't do it with people who we didn't really like. Once I have shared my wife with a guy I kind of expect them to be warmer with each other afterward and they usually are. It's one of the benefits, more guys who I like and respect looking out for my wonderful woman with me. As long as they get that I call the shots and that it's casual we're cool with boyfriend-type intimacy outside of the bedroom. When appropriate.

 

Just don't go thinking every couple is like us, you could end up pissing some people off and not getting invited to any more threesomes.

[Miss_Piggy 98]

Dito, TeamSoBe.

 

I like your outlook.

[jrt383 15]

Wow i didn't ecpect so many excellent reply's so quickly!! I know i'm just another dick to them that's cool and i have already told the hub that i do nothing without his prior consent i wouldn't dare to think that i'm more important than the hub.........only arrogant fools would think that! I've done lots of MFF's in the past but................ well i know this may sound stupid to all of you but i've never been in a two dick fuck fest before and well to be truthful i'm nervous because i've never done this before i'm not sure what to expect and the wife is sooooooo hot to me it's an honor just to be considered to join them!!

 

Maybe i'm just trippin for no reason ya think??

So to boil all the bs out i just follow their lead and just go with? Is that the right attitude about this?

T

[TeamSoBe 36]

So to boil all the bs out i just follow their lead and just go with? Is that the right attitude about this?

 

Exactly. Just don't take it too seriously and remember that their issues are more complex than yours. You just want to get laid and look good doing it without pissing anybody off, simple. Their concerns are a little more complex so you can make them most comfortable by being gracious about getting that.

 

The performance anxiety is totally normal. It can be unnerving to be thinking in the back of your head that there is a straight guy sitting there watching you. He's obviously enjoying something about it or they wouldn't ask you so just remember that he's cheering you on and have fun.

 

I would ask each of them directly what the deal is, like what their fantasy is that they are into living out or what it is that makes them want to include you like that. It makes me feel less anxious if I know what my role is supposed to be and the communication feels reassuring. Some people like to be spontaneous. Your call.

[WesternSwing 504]

I would ask each of them directly what the deal is, like what their fantasy is that they are into living out or what it is that makes them want to include you like that. It makes me feel less anxious if I know what my role is supposed to be and the communication feels reassuring. Some people like to be spontaneous.

Very good point. That way there is no question as to your role.

 

Just don't take it too seriously and remember that their issues are more complex than yours.

Another good point. You get to go home and think nothing more of it. They have to live together and deal with any issues that may come up (such as the green eyed monster).

 

Come to think of it, being the single male can be a big responsibility. But done right, you'll be a king amongst them.

 

Mr. WS

[Land EB 15]

very lucky... is a man who is invited into another couple's bed!

 

 

do your best to avoid performance anxiety! you (and your friends!) don't want you limp.

 

be sure to avoid premature ejaculation... and be prepared to fuck for hours.

 

several times!

 

never get off before the lady! provide her with as many orgasms as she wants!

 

be polite. be caring. be careful. make them happy and you might be invited to return.

 

have a wonderful time (lucky guy!).

 

 

 

 

l

[SteveInAZ 15]

JRT - I'm always interested in how the hubby expects / responds to the other dick. I love a hard dick and a warm pussy, but not everyone has the same perspective - let us all know how it comes out Amigo...

[Spoomonkey 421]

From the male half of a couple, here is what I'd like to see from a single male.

 

You know, WS - this should be posted to the thread about "One on Ones". If a single guy followed this little list of yours, not only would he get some action, he likely be added to our little circle of friends as a "regular".

 

It just stuns me with all this information on this message board there are so many single guys who just completely don't get it.

 

Kudos to you, JRT, for having the wisdom to ask ahead of time! I personally think they've made a wise choice in their selection, just from what I've read...

 

I have very little to add, except for this. Yes, you really are "trippin" over nothing. But - it is refreshing to see someone "trip" over these kind of details. In the end though, just have sex. Enjoy it, enjoy her, enjoy yourself. Don't freak out (or, in the more hip vernacular - "trip") if your nerves get you the first time. Just take your time, focus on her, let nature take it's course.

 

You seem to be in touch with the respect part of things!

 

So good luck.

 

Spoomonkey

[curiousagain 326]

"Maybe i'm just trippin for no reason ya think??

So to boil all the bs out i just follow their lead and just go with? Is that the right attitude about this?

T "

Now you're getting it. Take a long shower, dress nice, smell nice, carry a bottle of GOOD wine with you, no chateau muscatale here. Be friendly, be nice, be respectful, aim to please. Respect their boundries and hold fast to yours. Don't be a doormat, but realize where you are, physically and emotionally. You are a guest to their bed and their relationship. Act that way and expect to be treated that way.

 

Have a good time. Do your best to make sure everyone else does too.

 

Play safe and play careful, it's a big world out there.

Curiousagain

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

Mr LM and I haven't had experience in MFM but this thread has been wonderful to read!

 

I feel ready to pursue a single male after reading this thread! facelick

 

When Mr LM gets home I hope he feels the same way.

 

LM

[stoutgatte 25]

This thread came around as if I put it on order...

 

I have been invited into a MMF with a couple we have played with, and was wondering how to approach it. Thanks for everybody's perspective...

 

The wife is gonna do video

[jrt383 15]

Hi everyone sorry i've been neglecting my thread but i didn't have anything new to add. Well the day is here we meet tommorrow night.......I am excited and surprisingly nervous as well!!!! The other couple and i have been chatting and exchanging pics and now we are at the meeting time, now i do not expect anything to happen but i feel pretty certain it will from comments they have made!!!!

 

Do any of you have an last minute advice???? Should i pack the viagra?? I mean she is such a beautiful woman i find myself looking at her pics often!! I really really want them to enjoy my company but this is new territory for me and well it's kinda scary. I have the inevitable performance anxiety etc. See the thing is i just really want them to have a good time i'm not really worried about my fun i just want them to enjoy the experience..........Damn i'm just ramblin on and on .............it shows i'm nervous lol

 

I will let you guy's know how it goes saturday.....wish me luck!!!

 

JRT

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Be natural, jrt...be yourself. Personally, I have found that when I am nervous about something (anything), I simply admit that rather than try to pretend otherwise. Amazingly, I've generally found that others were feeling much the same and were relieved to be able to admit their own nervousness which in turn, helps to quell everyone's nervousness and makes it something we call all laugh about.

 

And remember...you have as much to offer to them as they have to you. This can be a mutually beneficial relationship.

 

Viagra? Probably wouldn't hurt to take some along. And don't drink alcohol. It might affect your performance, but also, when we are nervous, we tend to overdo sometimes.

 

Enjoy! - EBF

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Do any of you have an last minute advice???? Should i pack the viagra?? I mean she is such a beautiful woman i find myself looking at her pics often!! I really really want them to enjoy my company but this is new territory for me and well it's kinda scary. I have the inevitable performance anxiety etc.

 

YES by all means take the Viagra! If you have some take it with you. We are into the MFM thing and have found most of the guys who are new at this sort of thing have some level of performance anxiety (Read: cant get it up). Some mild some Severe. Just having the pill with you may help you perform simply because you know its there if you need it.

 

Everyone had given you real sound advice.

 

Take your time

 

Let them bring up sex first

 

Go with the flow

 

Dont forget you are the stunt cock not a replacement for the husband

 

Good luck and let us know how it goes.....

[jrt383 15]

Oh yes i KNOW i'm the guest and i will behave as such. I've had the conversation with the Mr. about how he's in charge and i take my cue's from him, but still just kinda that excited nervous kinda feeling ya know!!

 

You guy's have all been so kind to share with me i thank you all very much.....really! Please by all means continue with any comments or suggestions you may have. For some strange reason this is all reassuring to me.

 

T

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

but still just kinda that excited nervous kinda feeling ya know!!

 

We all feel that!! Its part of the draw to swinging.

I can assure you the couple you are going to meet feel the same way.

[jrt383 15]

Yes it is an exciting feeling i must admit!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was reading another post about what women like the best in a mmf and well i'm curious about one thing in particular. One poster proclaimed the joy of having her clit licked while being penetrated at the same time i assume in a 69 type position now question is i like the idea of it because of the pleasure it would seem to give to the F but the guy on the bottom doin the licking.......wouldn't his forehead become a ball rest so to speak??? This isn't a postion someone who isn't gay or bi would want to be in would it???

 

T

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

wouldn't his forehead become a ball rest so to speak??? This isn't a postion someone who isn't gay or bi would want to be in would it???

 

This where YOUR comfort level comes in. It is inevidable that some male to male contact is going to happen when in a MFM situation. Not in any bisexual manner but all three are in pretty tight quarters.

I think having my forehead become a ball rest would be a little too much closeness for me !!

 

Remember it is Okay for you to have your boudaries to.

[Vespertine 31]

Yes it is an exciting feeling i must admit!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was reading another post about what women like the best in a mmf and well i'm curious about one thing in particular. One poster proclaimed the joy of having her clit licked while being penetrated at the same time i assume in a 69 type position now question is i like the idea of it because of the pleasure it would seem to give to the F but the guy on the bottom doin the licking.......wouldn't his forehead become a ball rest so to speak??? This isn't a postion someone who isn't gay or bi would want to be in would it???

 

T

 

This is a position worthy of a "high-Five" between you boys when you bring the woman to a screaming climax. If you play around with positions you'll find by contorting your bodies you can limit M/M contact somewhat. This type of accidental contact isn't considered gay or bi in the least.

 

But if you feel the least bit uncomfortable doing it- Don't. You're out to enjoy yourself and you can't enjoy yourself if you're uncomfortable. There a lots of other things the three of you could do where you wouldn't have accidental contact . Good Luck and have a great time!

[curiousagain 326]

I remember my first MFM, I was so nervous I couldn't breath. Would I accidently overstep boundries? What if she decided she didn't like the idea of having sex with me after all? What if they wanted me to do something I wasn't intending to do? etc. etc. etc.

 

It'll be cool. I think y'all have talked things out. Once things get going, you'll be too excited to be nervous.

 

Let us know!!

Curiousagain

[EternallySingle 32]

I remember my first MFM. I didn't even know it was going to happen. It wasn't with a couple, but two friends, one just happened to be female and horny that day (kept saying things like she just ended her period or her nipples were sore or she was so sensitive in her belly). Well, she didn't give us much time to think about things. One minute we were helping her back to her dorm room (how do you slip and fall on grass in the middle of the summer when you are WALKING barefoot), the next we are alternating between different...

 

Well, you know its going to happen, so relax and STOP THINKING ABOUT IT SO MUCH!!! Show up and go with the flow. If you let things happen, you won't be as nervous and won't step over any boundaries. You'll also have a lot more fun.

[jrt383 15]

You are correct eternally Single i'm gonna just chill out. I will be sure to post tommorrow how things went if you guy's would like for me too?

 

T

[Allison1973 15]

I am very female, but, if you a very cute guy and decent guy, let me speak on behalf of all straight women--YES!!! facelick

[xxoticangel 99]

I was reading another post about what women like the best in a mmf and well i'm curious about one thing in particular. One poster proclaimed the joy of having her clit licked while being penetrated at the same time i assume in a 69 type position now question is i like the idea of it because of the pleasure it would seem to give to the F but the guy on the bottom doin the licking.......wouldn't his forehead become a ball rest so to speak??? This isn't a postion someone who isn't gay or bi would want to be in would it???

That was us...Gay or bi has nothing to do with it. It was a good friend of mine that we had played with on several occasions. He and I are very comfortable with each other and we are not bothered by male/male contact. Our goal was to give Angel thirty mind blowing orgasms (one for each birthday) that night. We wanted her to be a quivering mass of female flesh when we were done. We have also done vaginal DP's and eaten cream pies. We don't think anything about it because we are concentrating on her pleasure.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Our goal was to give Angel thirty mind blowing orgasms (one for each birthday) that night. We wanted her to be a quivering mass of female flesh when we were done.

 

You have my attention....

 

[Vespertine 31]

You have my attention....

 

 

Mine too!

[jrt383 15]

Hey guy's...............Well it happened!!!!! I must say it was the most erotic exp. I've had to date!! Everything went great they were very pleased with my behaviour and my performance ). I can see where with the right male a mmf for a married couple is a wonderful thing. I helped make her fantasy cum true and i can't tell you guy's how wonderfull that made me feel!!

 

If you haven't done it yet i suggest you do but pick the right guy 'cause i can tell you for sure that last night i coulda made the night or ruined it!!

 

T

[Vespertine 31]

Yay! Glad you had a fun time!

 

 

Did you find any good positions you care to share?

[jrt383 15]

Well as a matter of fact the one thing that really was cool i thought was as follows: She on her back me deep inside her legs up her hubby jo'd on her breasts which we then switched positions her taking me in her mouth and i rubbed his semen all over her chest and face..............I thought her head was gonna pop off.............lol

But as far as the position thing i'm a guy and as long as my "lil friend" is getting attention i don't really pay much attention who's where!!!!

 

T

[WesternSwing 504]

Glad it all went well! Who knows, they may make you a regular occasion.

 

Mr. WS

[blandomonium 15]

This is an excellent group of responses on a key subject for couples and especially us single "3rd" guys.

 

The keys for the very fortunate 3rd guy are or be:

 

care about people and yourself, a good listener, communicate, observer, respectful, honestly excited, yourself, as sensuous as possible, focus on her pleasure, follow his lead (instructions).....I think you get it.

 

But, even if you are all the things, you may just not "click" with the couple....that smell has got to be right! You personality and mind is involved somewhat too.

 

For the couple: Until you get naked and get it going, you really don't have the whole thing programmed....but that's part of the adventure and turn on, I guess. Communication before, during and after is key. Let it happen on your terms precisely. Feel free to control your Mr. 2 if he is getting off track.

 

blandomonium

[jrt383 15]

Yes i think the key to being the "sex toy" for the couple is that you must know your place.....that's all. Treat his wife and him the way you would want to be treated if the places were reversed..There were several times during our play that i looked to him just to make sure everything was ok....I mean it felt sorta like him and i were a team so to speak, our goal was her pleasure and we worked together to ensure that came to fruition! I may have gotten lucky on my first exp. but we all just clicked when we met and i think it just all boils down to that. Since him and I had similar backgrounds in work exp. it made for easy banter at first and that helped alot!

 

Hey I hope i'm not coming off like a know it all shit i'm just relaying my observations for others in the hope that someday, somewhere a bit of what i have said may click and enable another like myself to expand his world and life.

K i'll shut up now!!

 

T