New Bull Advice

[youngstud98 0]

Hi everyone, 

 

I am a 24 year old graduating college athlete single bull interested in joining the lifestyle. I am seeking out some advice on some good websites and also some tips to help me get started. What my profile should look like, who and when do reach out to couples, etc. Thank you all for the help in advance and I look forward to this new exciting lifestyle.

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

Welcome! You're venturing into an exciting world

 

I think a question I would have is...why? You are quite welcome of course! But any couples looking to you as a third in the bedroom might be curious why a young obviously in shape man wants to be in the lifestyle?

 

This is copied from another post of mine from last year, but it's entirely apropos:

 

There is far more supply of single males in the lifestyle than there is demand. That said, there are far fewer single males in the lifestyle who are good single males in the lifestyle, and I'd venture to guess that the supply of good single males more or less equals demand. So, how do you make yourself a good single male in the lifestyle?

• Generate a paid profile on swinglifestyle.com. If you go free, you won't be able to communicate. If you go free on any swinger site, no one will take you seriously. If you're paid, you show serious intent.
• Your profile puts your best foot forward. If you can't assemble a sentence or two about yourself in your profile, most couples won't pay any attention to you. Be clear about what you want, what you're offering, what kind of guy you are. This is your chance to advertise yourself. Don't **** it up by talking about how big your dick is and how you're the best swordsman out there.
• Be respectful of both the wife AND the husband. This should go without saying, but a lot of guys screw this up. You are being given a gift. Treat the experience as such. If you can't show respect to both the people in the couple, you're not going to get anywhere.
• Don't send dick picks. Few, if any, women want to see this. For some couples, this is a deal breaker as it shows you're the type of guy they don't want to play with.
• Don't be a flake. If you say you're going to meet a couple at a place at a particular time, be there on time. If you miss out, you're unlikely to be contacted again.
• Always, always, always wear condoms. Don't even ask not to.
• Understand your role. You shouldn't be in this for a relationship, and the couple in question isn't looking at you as a potential relationship. Know your boundaries; you are a toy. Sounds demeaning, but it isn't. You are a sexual fantasy being explored by the couple. Assuming you're straight, understand you're in the middle of this for her pleasure, not yours. If you focus on you, you won't ever see them again. Focus on her. Find out what she likes, what turns her off, what turns her on.

There's lots more advice to give. You can search this forum for more. The above is a good place to start.

 

Questions? Ask them! We're a helpful bunch!

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,422]

19 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

I'd venture to guess that the supply of good single males more or less equals demand....

So true.  By that gauge there may even be a shortage of single males in the LS. @bbarnsworth offers solid advice. As the husband in a couple who partakes of single males (more then half of lifestyle couples do) I'll add this:  Most single men in the lifestyle have almost zero success yet some do very, very well. 

 

Why? Looks are important so is charm and attitude of course.  If those things check out you might get an interview.  Also, and this is where a lot of guys go wrong, couples looking for single males will likely find you.  You don't even need to contact them directly.   Couples get sick of being bombarded by single males so let your online profile do the talking bc couples will be looking at it.  Good work gets rewarded by more work and the lifestyle community is a very social community so word gets around.

 

And please remember that a lot of lifestyle couples work around kid's schedules so be respectful of their time and don't flake out.  Be there when and where agreed upon because when you have kids you work hard to get free nights.

[youngstud98 0]

On 1/8/2023 at 8:18 PM, bbarnsworth said:

I think a question I would have is...why? You are quite welcome of course! But any couples looking to you as a third in the bedroom might be curious why a young obviously in shape man wants to be in the lifestyle?

First off thank you for reaching out and for the advice. As far as why? Well the way I was introduce to the lifestyle was a bit unorthodox. A few years ago I was on my parents computer needing to find something and I accidentally found out that they were swingers. After I did some research on the lifestyle and have been super interested in joining. I will definitely take your advice and tips hopefully I see some success. Thank you again

[youngstud98 0]

4 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Also, and this is where a lot of guys go wrong, couples looking for single males will likely find you.  You don't even need to contact them directly.   Couples get sick of being bombarded by single males so let your online profile do the talking bc couples will be looking at it.  Good work gets rewarded by more work and the lifestyle community is a very social community so word gets around.

Thank you for your advice and time to reply to me. So this is also a question I had. I can see why most couples get annoyed by a ton of single males hit them up, so what would you say my profile should look like for best results? What type of pictures do couples look for? Casual? Topless in a mirror? Sorry if this seems like very basic questions but I am new to this and want to make sure I set myself up for the best results. Again thank you for the advice

[couplers 4,717]

Once again, there is great advice from members of the Board here.  But you say:

8 hours ago, youngstud98 said:

I was on my parents computer needing to find something and I accidentally found out that they were swingers. After I did some research on the lifestyle and have been super interested in joining.

May I ask, have you considered finding a woman to participate in this adventure with you?  It seems that your parents have a successful marriage and swinging relationship and I think it would be more fun and satisfying with a partner. 

 

It doesn't mean that you couldn't start as a single male while you're looking.  Just be honest. 

Edited January 10, 2023 by couplers

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,422]

Some profile tips offered by a couple with over 20 years experience:

 

Usually swinger sites offer a public gallery and a private gallery.  Your public gallery should have the sorts of pics you would put on any dating site - but it's a swinger site so it's fine to not show your full face there.  As a matter of fact not posting your face on your public profile suggests that you understand discretion.  But my wife is initially drawn in by a nice smile and a decent physique so crop your face just above your smile.

 

Your private gallery can have nudes but keep them tasteful.  Dick pics are a topic of debate but all I can say is my wife likes to see at least one.  Not super close up but in the context of your overall body and she also wants to see the guy's ass.  Make it one of the last photos in your private gallery.

 

It is generally expected to post face pics in your private gallery but they can be separate photos from your nudes so that if they leak onto the internet you have plausible deniability.  Nudes can have faces copped out, clothed should include your face in your private gallery.

 

There are some keywords to know. "Open minded" means your open to kinky suggestions in general, "curious" means you're open to bisexuality, "easy going" suggests you're not the type to take charge, "Bull" or "Dom" suggest you're the take-charge type.  "Limits respected" is always a good thing to put on your profile bc nobody wants a pushy guy. Different couples are looking for different things.

 

Offering to provide an std panel is a plus bc some couples do actually prefer to play bare and those couples should both expect and provide a recent std panel. Check out stdtest.com.  Beware of couples who like to play bare yet make no mention of std panels.

 

Finally, discretion.  You might find high-profile people in the lifestyle.  Business people, public officials, cops, teachers etc.  They want to play with discrete people.  We always avoided ppl who don't value discretion so mention that you value your own privacy as well as those you play with.  A simple mention like that was essential to make it onto our "short list".

 

Good luck and have fun!!  We personally think it's a great time to be a single male bc it seems to us more couples enjoy playing with them than ever before!

[MidwestHoneys 359]

Think I read that the PBR is looking for new young bulls. Think you call yourself a stud, you should see what real studs look like. 

[enhancer 1,586]

Looks like you already got some great advice in the posts above!

 The part about making sure you acknowledge both of the couple in messages is a big thing for us.  As soon as someone sends a message directly to her completely ignoring the fact we are a couple they are blocked and ignored.  Yes you would only be fucking her, but you would only being doing it with me there and my consent.  No respect for me means no sex for you.

 

As for pictures she liked to be able to see what your whole body looks like.  Doesn’t matter if it is with clothes or not, but she is going to want to see your body type to start out with.  A face pic in your private pics or sent when contacting is going to be a must as well.  Cock pics do nothing for her and if it is on your main profile or if it is sent unsolicited you will be a big no.

 

How you sell yourself on your profile will also make a difference on who will and will not be interested.  Sell yourself as a alpha bull or dom and she will pass.  Others might be looking for that, but Missus E is used to being treated well and prefers guys that are more about the woman’s wants then their own.  
 

Respect is everything.  Without that there is nothing.