Questions about a straight FMF threesome

[Geoduck 26]

Hello,

 

We’ve fantasized about having a second woman join us in bed. Ms. Geo is straight. She’s said that maybe—stress “maybe”—she’d let the other woman touch her breasts. But she would not miss it if that didn’t happen. She wouldn’t want FF kissing or oral. I’m fine with her choices.

 

So what usually happens with a straight FMF after a male orgasms? If the man needs recovery time and there’s no FF play, what do those of you experienced in FMFs do?

 

Yes, the man could use his hands or mouth, but there might be a limit, and sometimes an aroused woman needs a cock (so says Ms. Geo). OK, there are toys, too, but would that be a good substitute in an FMF?

 

Ladies, if you’re in an FMF, do you want your man to fuck the other woman or you first? If the other woman, is it OK for your man to come inside her, or do you want him to save it for you? If he saves it for you, what happens to the other woman of he switches to you before the other woman orgasms? The man could give oral sex and an orgasm to the other woman first, maybe? But that’s starting to look a little scripted, we think.

 

Men, if you’re in an FMF, who do you like fucking first—your partner or the other woman? Or does it matter at all, and you just go with the flow?

 

Ladies and men, in a totally straight FMF, what do you like to do after the man orgasms and waits to recover? 

 

And again for the couples, do you like saying good-bye to the other woman after round one, or do you like waiting and having a second round, or a maybe a third (a third round would be a lot easier with an FFM, we know)? Do any of you take a break from sex between FMF rounds to have a snack, a glass of wine, or maybe just some casual talk?

 

For those of you who’ve experienced this situation, do you have any suggestions?

 

Sorry for the 101 questions, but thanks for any ideas and answers you have. 

 

Geo  🙂

[TnA83 308]

Dear Lord that's a lot of questions!  My wife is straight and we don't do FMF's so I don't have any real answers for you other than, "Take a pill!"

[enhancer 1,585]

I only have experience with ffm with the women playing with each other as well so can’t help you with your scenario!  I will say this though unless you already have the other woman lined up you are going to have a hell of time finding another woman that is going to be interested in having a threesome when your wife  isn’t playing with her as well.  It is hard enough for couples with bi women to find the unicorn everyone is looking for.  Take away the woman in the couple being bi and you just made things even more difficult.  If a woman just wants to have sex with a man there are plenty of them to choose from.  There is nothing extra in it for them if your wife isn’t involved.  
 

in my experience straight threesomes work much better with two guys and one woman!  Women are much better equipped for it and can keep going after they cum no problem.

Edited January 31, 2023 by enhancer

[MrMrsswinger 202]

Just thinking about an FMF threesome where the women don't even touch...basically you're basically going to get oral from two women and have sex with two women. Are you sure "we've" been fantasizing about this and not "you've" been fantasizing about this?

 

From my high level view of what you wrote, I would guess that your wife is rather submissive and follows what you do/say. I can't imagine why a woman would want to be in a sexual situation where she does nothing to the third party and wants nothing from the third party. What is the point of bringing the third party in, from her perspective?

 

[Geoduck 26]

4 hours ago, enhancer said:

I will say this though unless you already have the other woman lined up you are going to have a hell of time finding another woman that is going to be interested in having a threesome when your wife  isn’t playing with her as well.  It is hard enough for couples with bi women to find the unicorn everyone is looking for.  Take away the woman in the couple being bi and you just made things even more difficult.  
 

in my experience straight threesomes work much better with two guys and one woman!  Women are much better equipped for it and can keep going after they cum no problem.

Thanks for replying. Yes, we know finding a unicorn will be tough. What we didn't know is that it'd be almost impossible if Ms. Geo isn't bi. Well, we can hope. And yes, we know an MFM is much easier.  🙂

[Geoduck 26]

3 hours ago, MrMrsswinger said:

Just thinking about an FMF threesome where the women don't even touch...basically you're basically going to get oral from two women and have sex with two women. Are you sure "we've" been fantasizing about this and not "you've" been fantasizing about this?

 

From my high level view of what you wrote, I would guess that your wife is rather submissive and follows what you do/say. I can't imagine why a woman would want to be in a sexual situation where she does nothing to the third party and wants nothing from the third party. What is the point of bringing the third party in, from her perspective?

Yes, it's a couple's thing for us, though an MFM is our favorite. One time on vacation Ms. Geo woke me up and started sexy talk and foreplay. The sexy talk was all about inviting another woman to bed with us.

 

Ms. Geo is not submissive at all. Does she follow what I say? Oh, good grief, no!

[enhancer 1,585]

56 minutes ago, Geoduck said:

Thanks for replying. Yes, we know finding a unicorn will be tough. What we didn't know is that it'd be almost impossible if Ms. Geo isn't bi. Well, we can hope. And yes, we know an MFM is much easier.  🙂

In the ten plus years we have been in this lifestyle we have been lucky enough to have a few unicorns reach out to us and join us for fun!  We know the only reason we were messaged in the first place is, because we put a lot of effort into our profiles including over 100 pictures of both of us and some with her and other women.  We are probably also one of the few that don’t message them first and come across as desperate.  All of these women told us one of the reasons they chose us is, because she is really bi sexual and we emphasize the girl on girl play.  They would have had zero interest if it was all about the guy with the woman tagging along.  She was all of their first same sex experience and that is what they were looking for out of it.  Most of them made it a repeat occasion so it seems they got what they wanted out of it.  
 

In your situation you are not only competing with all the other couples out there with bi women you are also competing against all the single guys out there.  

[Geoduck 26]

5 hours ago, enhancer said:

  All of these women told us one of the reasons they chose us is, because she is really bi sexual and we emphasize the girl on girl play.  They would have had zero interest if it was all about the guy with the woman tagging along.  She was all of their first same sex experience and that is what they were looking for out of it.  Most of them made it a repeat occasion so it seems they got what they wanted out of it.  
 

In your situation you are not only competing with all the other couples out there with bi women you are also competing against all the single guys out there.  

Thanks again for replying. We have some experience in the lifestyle: MFM play and some soft MFMF.  Since we love MFM, Ms. Geo thought it'd be fair to try an FMF. We're not young anymore, and my recovery time isn't what it used to be.

 

I see your point about another woman not wanting to play with us if Ms. Geo isn't bi or at least bi-curious. It's downright logical, in fact. If we never have an FMF, that's OK.

 

Again, I appreciate your comments.

[couplers 4,636]

1)  As the man in a straight FMF, you need to perform oral well while in another pussy.

2)  Learn to hold off your orgasm until both women are satisfied.  Some guys are good at backing off, others are not.

3)  Figure out what gets you back up quickly.  Usually oral on the guy works, but the woman has to like sucking a sloppy dick.

[Davdia 119]

I’ve said this many times before,  if your spouse hasn’t said to you “watching you having sex with her would be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen “ or “having sex with her while you’re watching would be a fantasy come true “ then this likely will not end well!!

You’re trying to force your fantasy on your wife will never end well! 
ask yourself this same thing in reverse…..would watching her do another guy be the hottest thing ever? or watching you with another guy be her fantasy?  How would either of these situations work out if you weren’t 100% onboard.

Watch lots of threesome porn videos together and really watch her reactions……

Most importantly, never risk your marriage.  Take it from a man who’s had several threesomes and swaps over the years………I hardly remember anything about what I was feeling , really it was the  the way she responded that turned me on, not having sex with the other women.
Every time I replay the event in my mind I recall what I was watching not what I was doing!  Nothing that’s happened in all my encounters was ever worth losing the love of my life.. tread carefully and talk about everything 

Edited February 1, 2023 by Davdia

[NC_Seniors 518]

2 hours ago, Davdia said:

I hardly remember anything about what I was feeling , really it was the the way she responded that turned me on, not having sex with the other women. Every time I replay the event in my mind I recall what I was watching not what I was doing!

Ditto! 👍🏻

[Billygoat 443]

 



Imagination……that’s the key.  Sorry for the length of this (I could write a book) but I felt a more in-depth discussion was in order because there is very little realistic playbook style guidelines.

First, there is a matter of designation that gets many off on the wrong foot.  MFM is two men for one woman without any direct sexual contact between the males (MMF designates some level of sexual contact between the two men while most the attention is focused on the woman) but for a good experience for the woman there will be some close proximity, brushing/bump up against, you cant be shy…..or homophobic or she will not have as good experience as she should.  If one guy sits back while the other does his thing then swap out it really is not a MFM……taking turns….tag team…..can be fun too.  The same follows with FMF as opposed to FFM.  You can see what could happen if you list the wrong thing in your Bio, profile or search description.  It is also very important to discuss in detail activity that is desired, activity that is optional/situational as well as no interest and hardline musts and no go/stop activities.  This would include before, leading up to, during, finishing and after activity/after care.  This would apply to either activity….or any activity in the lifestyle.  You will also need a verbal…yes verbal safe word that is recognizable for slow down….stop.  

 

As in MFM….FMF there are so many variations on the theme.  The first time can be awkward….the first several times can be awkward…..segmented, and over with in a matter of moments.    We have learned over time that unlike shopping for extra males looking for that extra woman can be very elusive at best.  The most successful has always been with other couples that you meet and have later become very comfortable with both in and out of the bedroom.  The more comfortable you are with each other the more open discussion that can/will happen.  The boundaries are all what the four of you discuss and/or expand on. 

Between the foursome planned activities and sexual exploration becomes in time a matter of open discussion and semi planned activity with backup incase it might be needed.  Depending, there are now two women and two men.  Things can shift if need be, one watches to recoup etc.  We have enjoyed several dozen experiences this way that ended with full afternoons and evenings of highly enjoyable sex play with lots of breaks…and start again.

 

Some general activity with two women FMF (just as with MFM) include but not limited to:

 

- FMF tag team, one at a time, each has a turn, one at a time, sexually female dominate male passive, the two share male as a living play toy for them, how long can male last/endure, who finishes the male.  Recovery for more? Or one and done?

 

- FMF more inclusive, two women simultaneously share the male (still passive) as sex toy each performing sexual activity at same time on the male swapping back and forth.  One performing oral while the other is kissing or presenting her breasts at the same time.  This can be an overload for some males causing early ejectulation or the very common lost erection due to sensory over load.

 

- FMF same as either above but male is more aggressively active trying to please both women either one on one or inclusively.  Much more challenging for the male and usually will require the male to have better control/endurance or continued sexual interest activity until recovered and hard again.  
 

I personally prefer this last type of activity.  Longer play period, lots of exploration.  Allows for many oral activity positions, penetration and oral from male to both females simultaneously. My personal favorite….scissoring one woman with PIV penetration and slow thrusting.  Allows for her to stimulate herself manually/vibrator while I give oral to the second woman…..and then swap.  Ideally we keep edging each other….and possibly for the ladies more orgasms.  If they make me cum I continue on using toys, fingers, mouth etc you get the picture.

 

We have enjoyed a heart number of all afternoon or all evening play…with breaks…and then continue on.  When done as a foursome MFMF activity and all are equally on bored you can use your imagination as far as all the possible variables.  

 

 

[Billygoat 443]

I do hate auto correct…….

[EastInWest 1,524]

23 hours ago, couplers said:

1)  As the man in a straight FMF, you need to perform oral well while in another pussy.

2)  Learn to hold off your orgasm until both women are satisfied.  Some guys are good at backing off, others are not.

3)  Figure out what gets you back up quickly.  Usually oral on the guy works, but the woman has to like sucking a sloppy dick.

I'm going to grant the premise that the wife is actually open to this, and not just talking to try to seem cool.

 

This all seems like good advice. We played this way regularly with a good friend of Mrs. E's for a while through the pandemic, less regularly now. They're gym buddies and being used to seeing each other in the locker room made it a lot less weird for them to get started, I think.

 

Try 5mg of Cialis the night before and 5mg the morning of.

 

Sitting between them on the couch and letting them independently explore works to get started. Simultaneous oral and intercourse works. Letting them take turns riding you while you make out with/caress the other for foreplay, until they tire themselves out, works. 

 

Take some husbandly initiaitve and lead your wife through the uncomfortable moments, but let her gatekeep what does and does not happen. There's a good chance that if she's into this, it's because, just like a man who wants straight MFM, she has complicated jealousy/exhibition/even control fantasies that she's just scratching at, and she should feel safe nudging for what she wants to see and pushing back on what she doesn't without having to be rude. Sometimes, your wife might find out she just likes to watch.

 

It doesn't hurt to have a bottle of wine (nothing stronger) and some icewater on the nightstand so the odd lady out can feel like she's attending to herself when she's resting.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Oh, and don't fire off all your good small talk before you start. You may need it for the intermission.

[veryfun couple69 18]

Wifecand I have had many fmf encounters. We play kiss or massage strip poker to get ready then we choose who goes first by the drawing of cards the highest card gets me first

[cplnluv1 872]

7 hours ago, Billygoat said:

First, there is a matter of designation that gets many off on the wrong foot.

You made me think that I have been ignorant about what the combinations meant. I thought FMF and FFM were the same as well as MMF and MFM. Now I see the real meanings. Wait until I tell Alan that he never did MMF. Now it all makes sense. 

[Billygoat 443]

3 hours ago, cplnluv1 said:

You made me think that I have been ignorant about what the combinations meant. I thought FMF and FFM were the same as well as MMF and MFM. Now I see the real meanings. Wait until I tell Alan that he never did MMF. Now it all makes sense. 

….yeah……we get that a lot at parties……when talking in a group it is a lot of fun having this type of conversation and lots of laughs when someone has a….”OMG that’s why” moment.

 

some others but not all there is:

• Soft Swing or Swap – when couples exchange partners but do not have intercourse and is generally limited to swapping orally.
• Full Swing or Swap – when couples exchange partners including intercourse.
• Lifestyle – a term which has evolved from simply being a swinger. and refers to being sexually open minded and does not preclude a person to multiple partner play.
• Same Room – when a couple plays or swaps it is within the same room as their partner.
• Separate Room – swapping and playing in a different room than your partner.
• On-Site Club or Party – A lifestyle venue that has on-site facilities for play.
• Off-Site Club or Party – A lifestyle venue that does not have play facilities on-site.
• Voyeurism – The act of watching others have sex.
• Exhibitionism – The act of having sex in front of others.
• Newbies – People who are new to the lifestyle.
• Meet & Greet – generally held at a regular venue with the intention of a group of lifestyle couples meeting to gauge interest in a no pressure atmosphere.T
• Hall Pass – one part of the couple has been given permission to play alone without the other partner – take heed of this and always verify with the other half of the said couple.
• MFM – Male / Female / Male 3-some.
• FMF – Female / Male / Female 3-some.
• BDSM -a form of personal relationship centering around activities that are erotic but may not be sexual, and which may include the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role play.
• BBW – Big Beautiful Woman.
• Dogging – When people meet in parking lots at a given time, and have sex in their cars. Some people swap partners, some singles looking for couples or other singles, and some people are more exhibitionists and just want other people to watch them.
• Vanilla – Non Lifestyle people / activities.
• Choco or Chocolate – Lifestyle people / activities.
• Unicorn – A single female in the lifestyle.
• DRDP- Different room different partner
• SRSP- Same room same partner
.. SRDP— SAME ROOM DIFFERENT PARTNER

 

there is more than three times this when include various relationship identities, gender identities, sexual identities and fetish persuasions.

 

Always know what you are saying yes to……..

 

What a wonderful world we live in.

 

Edited February 2, 2023 by Billygoat

[Lips & Tongues 185]

On 1/31/2023 at 8:51 PM, Geoduck said:

it'd be almost impossible if Ms. Geo isn't bi.

Let me tell you something from my own experience. I was SWEARING I was not bi. Until we met the right girl. Then, with her, it became obvious I wanted to experiment, here and now  As I was not experienced, the first thing I did with that woman was mutual masturbation. That gave me the opportunity to play with another girl's pussy without it being too weird. And while doing that, she began kissing me... which I absolutely loved! SO, let your wife discover her bi side. Cos, news! YES SHE DOES have a bi side. We all do. (and you too, by the way 😉 )

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Never say never...you never know what you might be missing.

[couplers 4,636]

On 2/2/2023 at 5:39 PM, Lips & Tongues said:

I was SWEARING I was not bi. Until we met the right girl. Then, with her, it became obvious I wanted to experiment, here and now  As I was not experienced, the first thing I did with that woman was mutual masturbation.

I was the same as you, but what did it for me was after a couple of years of only me having a boyfriend, I got over my inhibitions and wanted hubby to play.  My reaction to him ejaculating in her pussy was that I wanted to reclaim him by licking his cum out of her vagina.

 

In retrospect, it is my jealous, competitive nature to want to afterwards please both him and her better than they please one another. 

[enhancer 1,585]

It is really great that so many people have learned to discover their true sexuality through swinging, but sorry I totally disagree that everyone has a bi side!  Too me this blanket statement is like saying everyone is the same.  Which would be pretty damn boring.

 

My adult daughter is lesbian!  Absolutely no attraction to men at all.  Thinks they are gross and pigs.  She is not at all bi.

 

Our very close male friend is gay!  Does not find women attractive at all.  Gets repulsed if you talk about sexual acts with them.  Not at all bi.

 

Missus Enhancer is bi sexual!  Is equally attracted to both males and females.  She has known this since she was old enough to have sexual desires.  Never acted on it until we were together and it became quickly clear to her that I do not judge people by their sexuality and think everyone should live their sex life the way that suits them best.  This lifestyle gave her a chance to have the best of both worlds and for that we are both satisfied.

 

I myself am only attracted to women and only real women!  I am 100 percent not homophobe and completely secure around other naked men having sex with her or other women.  That being said man on man play is an instant turn off.  Shuts down all activity down stairs for this guy.  I do not want a penis in my mouth and I do not want one in mine. Not at all bi. 

 

Be who and what you are, be proud, but do not feel the need to justify it by claiming everyone else is or should be the same! It is okay that some of us out there are just plain vanilla straight.  It is almost the new taboo in today’s world to be that way.

[couplers 4,636]

On 2/4/2023 at 6:44 AM, enhancer said:

Too me this blanket statement is like saying everyone is the same.

A great post, but may I add that sometimes people aren't necessarily the same person over time.  It's not just the hetero/homo/bi thing, but also the attitude toward being monogamous for themselves and their partner(s), whether even to have a partner, wanting children, an individual's view of their own sexual identity. 

[enhancer 1,585]

3 hours ago, couplers said:

A great post, but may I add that sometimes people aren't necessarily the same person over time.  It's not just the hetero/homo/bi thing, but also the attitude toward being monogamous for themselves and their partner(s), whether even to have a partner, wanting children, an individual's view of their own sexual identity. 

Absolutely agree with you!  People grow, learn and change the way they view what works for them in many situations in life.

[Numex 2,412]

6 hours ago, enhancer said:

People grow, learn and change the way they view what works for them in many situations in life.

In a relatively short time we have gone from my ex-wife and I being monogamous and my current wife being single and serially non-monogamous, to us being married and monogamous, to my wife becoming a hotwife and me monogamous, to being full swap, open swingers, to anything goes swapping within a closed group of married couples.  Yes, things change over time.