couplers 4,614 Posted February 8, 2023 I came across this story yesterday: https://www.yahoo.com/news/ga-elementary-school-principal-pe-183901987.html Fortunately, no kids involved, but what I found interesting was: "Simmons [the woman] claims Charles’ wife set up their sexual encounters and would watch as the pair had sex. She denied having sexual relations at the school. The attendance clerk in the front office confirmed to investigators that she had seen a text message from Charles’ wife asking Simmons if she wanted to have sex with her husband. Charles’ wife also spoke with investigators and claimed Simmons manipulated her into allowing her to have sex with her husband in exchange for helping them with their careers. She also stated that she would watch and record sexual encounters between Simmons and Charles." Clearly this wasn't conducted appropriately, but I feel some affirmation that I'm not the only wife who wanted her husband to have sex with another woman, took the initiative, and wanted to watch. I wonder if there was any play between the wife and Simmons? None of our interactions, whether it lead to sex or was just a few dates between David and me and her, resulted in bad feelings. Actually, we are still on good terms with those we are still in touch with, including their husbands, who know about our past relationships. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
let's do it again 414 Posted February 8, 2023 I don't know if there is a question or comment here, but I am not surprised, I think most school districts at one time or another has had to deal with a situation like this. In the late 70's while I attended high school our teachers were part of a swinging group and met at a teacher's house , it was common knowledge and if cell phones and texting was available then, I am sure their texts or pics would have surfaced. Just a few years ago teachers, coaches , and students were involved in a sex scandal at school and a few of the teachers and coaches resigned before being fired ! This all happened in a rural midwest town of 3,000 people and like I said earlier, I think most school districts face this problem. Whenever you put men and women together, sex is going to happen. 😜 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
EastInWest 1,524 Posted February 8, 2023 I was also in a rural Midwestern town and we had a female gym teacher who would loudly discuss her open marriage exploits with the male gym teacher. Suffice it to say, it made the most tender-hearted evangelical kids very uncomfortable. As for the kink itself, I wouldn't say Mrs. E is explicitly interested, but the submissive I work with, it's a part of our play to the point that Mrs. E and I have made audio of our sessions to fuck her up. She is particularly sensitive to breeding kinks and it bothers her (in a good, subby way) that she knows I'm cumming in the wife and she isn't allowed to have that. Quote Share this post Link to post
Fundamental Law 2,885 Posted February 8, 2023 This is really an issue of boundaries. In an earlier time, there was an aphorism about not "Dipping one's pen in company ink", meaning that workplace liaisons were fraught and should be avoided. This from a time that pens actually required inkwells for writing... As earlier commenters have noted, putting adults in close proximity has a non-zero probability of sexual attraction. It doesn't happen everywhere all of the time, but it will inevitably happen somewhere some of the time. At least these liaisons did not involve students. Consenting adults can do what they want...but...not wherever they want. It ought to be clear to everyone that workplace behaviors are visible and scrutinized. The particulars here--exposure of the liaison followed an accusation of workplace 'spying'--should be sufficient to reinforce the wisdom of the aphorism mentioned above. 6 Quote Share this post Link to post
EastInWest 1,524 Posted February 8, 2023 2 minutes ago, Fundamental Law said: Consenting adults can do what they want...but...not wherever they want. It ought to be clear to everyone that workplace behaviors are visible and scrutinized. The particulars here--exposure of the liaison followed an accusation of workplace 'spying'--should be sufficient to reinforce the wisdom of the aphorism mentioned above. One of the major reasons we are careful about play near home is because Mrs. E works in a field where she gets a ton of exposure to 19-year-old males. She already gets slipped a couple of raunchy notes a year, all hell would break loose if there were rumors that a spitroast was on the table. It just ain't wise. There was also the one time a colleague got very aggressive at the supermarket. We couldn't be sure but there was an implication that he had reason to think she was open to it, which prompted us to stop posting fun pictures on certain sites for a while. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
PeterJ 940 Posted February 8, 2023 8 hours ago, couplers said: I came across this story yesterday: https://www.yahoo.com/news/ga-elementary-school-principal-pe-183901987.html Fortunately, no kids involved, but what I found interesting was: "Simmons [the woman] claims Charles’ wife set up their sexual encounters and would watch as the pair had sex. She denied having sexual relations at the school. The attendance clerk in the front office confirmed to investigators that she had seen a text message from Charles’ wife asking Simmons if she wanted to have sex with her husband. Charles’ wife also spoke with investigators and claimed Simmons manipulated her into allowing her to have sex with her husband in exchange for helping them with their careers. She also stated that she would watch and record sexual encounters between Simmons and Charles." Many of the most enjoyable things we can do entail some degree of risk. But these folks were playing with fire in a number of ways, but primarily two: Playing with work colleagues, and particularly where one is the supervisor of the other. Second, there appears to be good evidence that despite the principal’s denial, she and her employee/partner at least once did have sex on school property. All I can say is that passion tends to make us think and act like idiots. (My observation is that longtime lifestyle veterans are better at not engaging in socially risky sex.) Yes, in retrospect it was stupid beyond belief for the principal to bring in others in the organization to check out whether her FWB had bugged her office. From outside the situation you have to ask yourself how she could have thought this action could possibly have ended up any way other than in disaster. But in my own work life this happened to a colleague about 20 years ago, a bit after I’d left the company to take another position. Ours was the U.S. branch of a premium global transportation products company. There were about 1,300 employees in the headquarters office, so it had a rigid organizational structure, where there wasn’t a lot of flexibility. My colleague, who had been well-known for her extramarital activities prior to her divorce, had engaged in a sexual relationship with the woman who was her secretary. My colleague was pretty cute, so it’s not like she’d be hard-pressed to find sexual partners, Hooking up with the woman who worked most closely under her was quite stupid. Even more stupid was leaving a folder on the desktop of her company computer containing explicit photos of her sexually engaged with her secretary, where an IT guy servicing that company computer could easily find it. He attempted to extort sexual favors from her. Now, she was fucked, but not in a good way. She turned the IT guy in to HR. He got fired. But then she was forced to resign as well. I don’t know what became of her secretary, but that woman’s life around the office couldn’t have been good after that. (For sure she had the whip hand though. Based on other things I saw happen at the company during my tenure, if she would agree to leave quietly I’m sure the company would have been willing to cut her a check for several hundred thousand dollars to sign a release and an NDA, plus great recommendations.) At least no one in the debacle at my former company wound up in a salacious report on the local TV news broadcast. My former colleague landed on her feet, getting a better job in a different business than the one she lost. We are Facebook friends and more than 20 years later she appears to be flourishing. I doubt it will go so smoothly for the folks from Petra;s post. None of them are likely to be able to move across the country and find employment in a major entertainment talent management company. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,614 Posted February 9, 2023 20 hours ago, EastInWest said: As for the kink itself, I wouldn't say Mrs. E is explicitly interested, but the submissive I work with, it's a part of our play Good to know. There are so many stories here about men who enjoy (or want to) watch their partner with another man. Few women are similarly driven to have their partner do likewise, enough to push to set it up. Just me and this crazy bitch. Yeah, I'll admit that in this regard I was crazy as well, but no co-workers. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
NoAngels 333 Posted February 9, 2023 I am guilty of liaisons with several business associates. Traveling for a good portion of my life I have many lonely nights in strange hotel beds. Pen in an inkwell or as my father said dipstick in an engine, or shitting where you eat, I shied away from anything more than a business dinner or after work drink when one client became a little forward with our dinner banter that led to a first time stray. That first time has led to us planning my trips based on her availability. I am aware this is not swinging, it was outright cheating that led to other travel liaisons, some with other associates, some with women who I met along the way. Inevitably my wife caught on that led to home problems, marital counseling and ultimately an open marriage. For quite sometime she had her affairs and I had mine until we decided to include me in her play with others. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,614 Posted February 10, 2023 20 hours ago, NoAngels said: I am guilty of liaisons with several business associates... that led to other travel liaisons, some with other associates, some with women who I met along the way. Inevitably my wife caught on that led to home problems, marital counseling and ultimately an open marriage. For quite sometime she had her affairs and I had mine until we decided to include me in her play with others. Interesting, thanks for the story. As is said many times here, good open communication is the key to a successful marriage. You could have ended up in the same place without the cost of marriage counseling and enjoyed the adventure of playing with others together. Quote Share this post Link to post
NoAngels 333 Posted February 10, 2023 2 hours ago, couplers said: good open communication is the key to a successful marriage. Good communication is not something we had, I got caught. Communication consisted of fighting and arguments that was leading to almost separation and worse. Her revenge was joining an affairs site meeting married men for sex and extra relationships. Marriage therapy and individual therapy helped us get through some horrible times. Time and understanding let us work through those times where we agreed to be honest with our meetings. My affairs were more a fact of travel and situation, hers were seek out and move on. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post
PJ&Lin 188 Posted February 10, 2023 Sex in the workplace, not in the office, is pretty common. Schools, swinging, watching, career advancement, just add to the narrative to a situation that has a base of having sex on school property. Photos and videos by a third party is illegal if not known by even one of the participants. Quote Share this post Link to post
PJ&Lin 188 Posted February 10, 2023 3 hours ago, NoAngels said: Time and understanding let us work through those times where we agreed to be honest with our meetings. Many in your situation would not have the same end result. Cheating is most likely the major cause of marital breakups though statistics say over 20% of people will have extramarital affairs. I wonder if swingers have a more forgiving attitude or do they treat secret sex as lying more than the sex involved. Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,614 Posted February 11, 2023 22 hours ago, NoAngels said: My affairs were more a fact of travel and situation, hers were seek out and move on. I'm sorry, but I don't understand the distinction. I'm happy, however, that you were able to work it out. With all that as the background (you cheating, her cheating, the fights, counseling, reconciliation) how did you two decide that swinging (or some type of nonmonogamy) was the way forward? Did you two see it as part of the solution? Or had you both just become used to sexual freedom? Thanks. Quote Share this post Link to post
NoAngels 333 Posted February 11, 2023 1 hour ago, couplers said: I'm sorry, but I don't understand the distinction. I'm happy, however, that you were able to work it out. With all that as the background (you cheating, her cheating, the fights, counseling, reconciliation) how did you two decide that swinging (or some type of nonmonogamy) was the way forward? Did you two see it as part of the solution? Or had you both just become used to sexual freedom? Thanks. The distinction is I cheated with ladies I knew while she searched for random sex. Finding swinging as an answer was not a romantic loving answer that I could make it sound. Unfortunately or fortunately we went through plenty to get to this place. The exact road we took is now mixed memories of her one upping me. My memory and hers are different, I’ll give you my abridged memory. She found out I was screwing a client on my road trip. Not the best time in our marriage after that. I must have told her to go out at find a guy if she wanted. To get back at me she joined Ashley Madison that she remembered Howard Stern advertised. I said to go ahead, not that simple conversation, I remember it was a nasty go ahead. I couldn’t believe she would do it but she did. I wasn’t happy to know she met a random man then another and more. Almost divorcing we sought out therapy. Was not a pleasant situation at all. Trying to keep all the bad stuff out of this, she continued her meetings with my knowledge, I traveled less with less meeting my road women. I then suggested that she join a swingers site which would allow us to do things together. Is it a perfect situation? We are married and enjoying new things. We don’t fight and argue the way we did, we are still seeing a therapist. We have a better understanding and I am less jealous. We now share passwords, no secrets. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
NoAngels 333 Posted February 11, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, couplers said: Did you two see it as part of the solution? The couple we met that first time was understanding when we explained our situation. They were hesitant to get involved with us and our problems at first, then became our good friends and sexual friends. I see so many posts about having a good marriage before swinging, for us it gave us more meaning to enjoying our marriage and life. Joining this board at the suggestion of the couple we met has led us to understand the many facets of the lifestyle, things I never knew or realized. Hall passes, separate rooms, hotwifing, poly families, and sexual situations have been an education. What one person finds weird another person enjoys which in some ways has led us to many new things. Edited February 11, 2023 by NoAngels 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
Numex 2,409 Posted February 11, 2023 2 hours ago, NoAngels said: What one person finds weird another person enjoys which in some ways has led us to many new things. One of the primary benefits of swinging. Even among our relatively small, closed group of married couples, it is surprising how many people have found their kink partner. 4 hours ago, NoAngels said: memories of her one upping me. When Daniela and I first shared intimacies about our past I felt that she had upped me sexually. Now that we are married and swinging, I still feel this way. I have a great sense of pride, however, how hot, open minded, and adventuresome my wife is. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
TricianMike 772 Posted March 17, 2023 On 2/11/2023 at 10:03 AM, NoAngels said: To get back at me she joined Ashley Madison that she remembered Howard Stern advertised. I said to go ahead, not that simple conversation, If you don’t mind, how safe is Ashley Madison? Has she ever had problems with the men she meets? Do you ever join her with the men she meets? I figure that the men on there are more affluent, it’s not cheap for men. I’m not looking for gifts or anything like that. The men we pick up randomly can get nasty to both of us, physically and mentally, and have had some fear with a few. We are talking about alternatives to the typical swing sites which would be the easier way to meet others, another topic for our therapist. If your wife can contact us through DM we would appreciate her input. Quote Share this post Link to post