Relationship damage

[amberh22 3]

Has swinging ever damaged your relationship?

If so why?

[lcmim 1,081]

Absolutely not.

Then again we had been together almost 40 years and this was the next adventure.

Starting too early or outside of a well grounded relationship could be a problem.

[enhancer 1,584]

Not at all!  Had strong relationship with awesome communication before we started and still do.

[Billygoat 443]

Do to our relationship and open discussion we never had an issue.  In 20+ years we have experienced very few issues with others, not involving us, that often was fueled by alcohol, or couples that probably didn’t have a strong communicative relationship.  But that has only been a small handful of people.

[Davdia 119]

12 hours ago, amberh22 said:

Has swinging ever damaged your relationship?

If so why?

Swinging Situational HELP!

There’s an entire forum on this website for this topic , check it out, it might as well be called 1001 ways to damage a marriage for swingers.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

If you have a great, solid relationship, swinging will only enhance it. If you don't, it will magnify the cracks and weaknesses. Most everyone who has been swinging for awhile have that solid relationship. People trying it without that solid relationship have most likely moved on.

[lcmim 1,081]

Davidia, The question was has it done damage to your relationship.

The answers have been directed to that question.

 

Your point that it can, is worth mentioning, and the referral you gave is to the point.

 

I do  think any of us who have had no damage, would  also argue the point that maturity, proper preparation and proper mindset are the reasons that is so.

 

The cautions are given here over and over, that while good for some the LS still does bear the onus of real danger to those who enter for the wrong reasons or lack a sound relationship in the first place.

[Numex 2,409]

On 2/8/2023 at 1:46 PM, amberh22 said:

Has swinging ever damaged your relationship?

I've thought hard about this question, and the answer is NO.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

No, it hasn't hurt our relationship at all. In fact, it's done very much the opposite.

 

From time to time, there have been posters here who have written about the damage it has caused their relationships. It can and does happen. Not everyone is cut out for swinging, and that's not a crime. It doesn't work for some people.

[couplers 4,614]

Swinging never damaged my relationships, but there was well deserved damage to my self esteem. 

 

After having married David while still having Red as my lover, I was full of myself. I thought I was a master of sex with men (not yet having discovered my Lesbian side) and believing that I could easily manage an expanded sex life. So I thought when I met Sam, found him attractive, and announced to hubby and Red that I was going to have sex with him as well. Well I did, and it wasn't fulfilling or even fun. The first couple of times were exciting, but Sam was a poor lover. He thought he was God's gift to women, just wanted me to blow him and fuck me in my bum, which was OK but anal alone doesn't make me cum, and he didn't care about my orgasms or satisfaction at all. On top of that Sam disparaged my husband (he didn't know about Red), saying that David must be sexually inadequate for me to let him fuck me, and a wimp when I told Sam that hubby knew about us and was OK with it.

I would complain to David how my fling with Sam wasn't working as I had expected, and what I was thinking that I needed to do to improve it. (I'm compulsive and goal oriented.) David gave me the best advice - that it wasn't my solely responsibility to make whatever I was doing with Sam feel right. It then became clear to me that I was taking credit for the two relationships that I had with Red and David being so great, when in reality it was their attitude and efforts that made everything work so well on every level.

My husband is a saint and the wise man in all of this.  I would come home, we'd have sex (because despite what Sam did I still needed to fuck my husband and Red) and I would complain about how badly it was going.  He told me it wasn't my responsibility to make this work, it wasn't a failure on my part, that I could end it.  He was right.  I ended it, humbled, and all was good. 

[SheernylonCpl 38]

We feel that it is the best thing for any couple to do. Compared to the vanilla world out there where nothing is discussed at all

[Numex 2,409]

8 hours ago, SheernylonCpl said:

We feel that it is the best thing for any couple to do. Compared to the vanilla world out there where nothing is discussed at all

Compared to a vanilla couple, it is less likely that there will be cheating.  With whatever is agreed upon in the lifestyle, there is enough variety and quantity of sex that there is a much lower need or desire to go beyond the arrangement than there is for a couple locked into a monogamous marriage.

 

Edited June 10, 2023 by Numex