An evening out: Let the ladies talk.

[Billygoat 443]

From a open discussion with LS friends on Friday night.  Everyone at the table have been in the LS for eight or more years and have been quite active and have explored and experienced various activities and fantasies that interested them.  The common thread was the women present ( several wives, girlfriends and three single ladies) had all experienced and enjoyed having at the least two men (MFM) to several at a time (or throughout the evening at a party).  It didn’t take long into this conversation for it to turn into a ladies only animated conversation of their experiences and accomplishments with only their husbands/boyfriends asked to chime in verification/confirmation of the event, act or result of the experience.  Hands down all of us males had enjoyed whatever happened in the shared stories.  
 

It was awesome to sit and listen to these women sharing their adventures, thoughts and results of their experiences and there was quite a bit of excited chatter and teasing…..lots of loud shouts and laughter.  I was glad due to our number and time of the evening we were seated at the back corner of the dining area well away from the few dinners still present.  I am sure there were a few servers who got an ear full.

 

One noticeable revelation from observing all this was the common result of these experiences for the women.  All revealed in one way or another the personality…..confidence…..level of comfort the all experienced as a result of their sexual sharing and experiences in the LS.  Echoed by their spouses (those present).

 

1. Ability now to discuss openly anything with their SO.

2. Discuss, ask for what ever they had an interest in, desire, openly on any topic as well as sexually.

3.  All openly discussed that sexually in their private lives prior to the lifestyle they rarely if ever initiated any activity with their SO only were reactive to initiation by their SO.  And NEVER asked for or discussed their personal desires, needs or fantasies.  (the single ladies present agreed they felt the same with any partner they might have.  Including the husbands and boyfriends of other women that they shared)
4. Their personal sexual/sensual lives in their relationship have become broadened and deeper, a much closer intimacy (not just sexual) then before.  Far more satisfying.  

It was not just a fun evening out together as a group (sex was not part of this evening at all, just social gathering) but so enlightening.  
 

Sitting having coffee this morning it occurred to me that all this, generally, is probably true to some level to anyone who is involved at some level in the LS.  Dependent of course on what level or type of involvement in an alternative Lifestyle they are in.  I also thought that there are  common takeaways:

 

1. Situational shyness, intimidation, lack of confidence, appearance concerns and feelings/concern of being judged negatively.

2. That last part “feelings/concern of being judged negatively” is they largest shared issue that women have.  From the time they are self aware 6, 7, 8 years old and on…..they are told, threatened, educated  etc that their sex is private, not to be displayed shared discussed experienced and in many cases told any negative experiences are their fault….not being a good girl.

3. The confidence, personal strength, emotional discovery over growth and feeling at peace with themselves.  Acceptance of who they are.

4. Sexual preferences and desires.  Even with in their group a funny but eye opening discussion…and truth concerning size, preferred size and what/how it all relates.  It really isn’t what it seems.  LOL

 

everyone grows in this lifestyle to their own comfort level.  But to watch these women and listen to them (including my Queen) was just hands down amazing.  This group of women discussing to only their experiences but some of their not yet experienced fantasies/desires.  Their emotions.  Support…..no negative judgements at all.  Even bragging rights and one up man ship between them.  A chance to get a peak into a part of the LS not often discussed……at-least with males present.

 

 

[couplers 4,614]

Great observations; may I add one more?  All of this is true and simple if viewed from the perspective that being nonmonogamous is the natural state of being human, even as we form close emotional attachments.

[Billygoat 443]

Agreed.  However, the human species never started out as a monogamous mammal. 
 

I do not want to divert the thread but that would be a very interesting topic.  
 

looking at human history as we know it (sciences based) monogamy to some extent is relatively new, marriage as we know it extremely new by a couple of thousand years for a select population…..in many cases only several hundred years old for the majority. 

[Numex 2,409]

Marriage is in our nature; monogamy is not.

 

My wife and I having played for several years now, it is clear that watching you mate fuck someone else then going home with her/him is the way we are wired.

[Billygoat 443]

The sharing yes.  Many Tribe/Klan structured societies not only shared but had beliefs and festivals promoting this.  Literally mating with passing travelers/wanderers just to add new blood lines to a limited tribe/klan.

[Numex 2,409]

5 hours ago, Billygoat said:

not only shared but had beliefs and festivals promoting this.

Throughout most of the the history of man, when children were more of an asset as labor than an expensive hobby for twenty years, you can be pretty certain that childless couples had the wife fuck other men.  You did what you had to do to achieve the happy result.  The words cuckold and wittol are very old, so that's not a new thing either.

[let's do it again 414]

I love listening to women talk sex openly, you get a much different view than from men. I guess what surprised me was their conquests and raunchyness of their conversations. I have heard stories that would make a sailor blush and to top that is if some of the women are nurses talking about sex, they will flat gross you out!

 

[couplers 4,614]

21 hours ago, couplers said:

being nonmonogamous is the natural state of being human

 

21 hours ago, Billygoat said:

Agreed.  However, the human species never started out as a monogamous mammal. 

I think can agree that we agree. 🙂

[BillyandDebbie 301]

One day in band camp

In HS guys would brag and discuss conquests and there were some girls that a few of us had in common. I always wondered if the girls had the same conversations. 

[PeterJ 940]

1 hour ago, BillyandDebbie said:

One day in band camp

In HS guys would brag and discuss conquests and there were some girls that a few of us had in common. I always wondered if the girls had the same conversations. 

I assume at least some groups of them did. 
 

Once when I was in my mid-20s my then wife and four of her female med-school classmates were hanging out at our house and drinking wine. After a few glasses the conversation started getting pretty sexually explicit — almost raunchy. It was like they stopped even noticing I was there. And part of me wished I wasn’t. My wife was pretty discreet, but over all I’d never heard women talk like that. 😳😂 (I’m way more jaded now…)

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

On 3/12/2023 at 9:03 AM, Billygoat said:

 

That last part “feelings/concern of being judged negatively” is they largest shared issue that women have.  From the time they are self aware 6, 7, 8 years old and on…..they are told, threatened, educated  etc that their sex is private, not to be displayed shared discussed experienced and in many cases told any negative experiences are their fault….not being a good girl.

 

The confidence, personal strength, emotional discovery over growth and feeling at peace with themselves.  Acceptance of who they are.

There is remarkable truth here. "Feelings/concerns of being judged negatively" is, in short form, vulnerability. It's not just a matter of "getting comfortable with being vulnerable"--there is a transition to self-worthiness and positivity in many matters, sex being just one of them. 

 

Your observation mirrors ours: when we are among other LS couples, the women gravitate to each other not for protection (as seems often the case in vanilla settings) but rather find strength in themselves sharing their experiences with others. It's a different dynamic. 

[couplers 4,614]

9 hours ago, Fundamental Law said:

women gravitate to each other not for protection (as seems often the case in vanilla settings) but rather find strength

This is so true in our poly family.  Together Clair, Lora, and I are much stronger. 

[cplnluv1 871]

The women in our small group have so many laughs, albeit at the expense of our wonderful partners, when we are together talking. We have a new girlfriend who I thought was shy has been the most vocal and can be called raunchy as we are more open with each other. Before having this group of friends Alan and I would talk about our meetings but it so much different from the laughs we now have. It is funny how I am having fun exchanging experiences with the ladies now, it’s bringing back to my college days and the big laughs my roommate and I had comparing sexual trysts. 

[TeamCalgary 168]

Women in the lifestyle glow; shine like lights.

 

I am always telling my wife that the LS has turned her into a human magnet; men and women can feel the confidence 

that she now exudes and the radiance that emanates from her. To state that it has been good for her is an understatement. 

 

FL hit on something seminal above in this thread, "vulnerability". 

It's the choice of showing our true selves to others and it takes confidence and strength to do so. 

It is our observation, that as the LS "strips" us of our inhibitions, it also replaces those inhibitions with strength, 

and willingness to embrace risk, and, hence, render us vulnerable, tipping the risk/reward balance heavily towards reward. 

[findinganswers 369]

22 hours ago, jamesok said:

Have been in a similar situation myself. My wife and those ladies were makin' me blush. Glad to know I ain't the only guy that has been submitted to that lol.

Unfortunately many of us have been. Made me feel self conscious at times. 

[MidLifeFun 147]

On 3/13/2023 at 10:32 PM, Fundamental Law said:

Your observation mirrors ours: when we are among other LS couples, the women gravitate to each other not for protection (as seems often the case in vanilla settings) but rather find strength in themselves sharing their experiences with others. It's a different dynamic. 

I found women look to other women to share more than men look to men. 

[let's do it again 414]

On 3/13/2023 at 3:50 PM, PeterJ said:

I assume at least some groups of them did. 
 

Once when I was in my mid-20s my then wife and four of her female med-school classmates were hanging out at our house and drinking wine. After a few glasses the conversation started getting pretty sexually explicit — almost raunchy. It was like they stopped even noticing I was there. And part of me wished I wasn’t. My wife was pretty discreet, but over all I’d never heard women talk like that. 😳😂 (I’m way more jaded now…)

I was in a similar situation, I was in college and after a night class held in the gymnasium I brought this topic up to a female classmate. She told me that girls were more raunchy than men in their sex talk. I wasn't totally convinced until she took me into the girls shower room and showed me all the filthy writings on the mirrors and the stall walls. I didn't know that women were bathroom wall poets!