Lesbian Swingers

[MidLifeFun 147]

We just returned from a very interesting vacation with the first friends we met after moving to a new city. They asked us if we would be interested in joining them with three others in sharing an AirBnB in Florida. The house was near a beach, something we love, and had its own pool, a truly luxury house. They only knew one of the couples who knew the others we were sharing the home with. 
Big surprise, one of the couples at the house were two women who are married, a lesbian couple. At first I didn’t know why they were joining a group like ours or did they not know. I questioned one of the other men what their story was and I was assured they were married and knew exactly what the others were there for and it wasn’t only for the beach and sun. I always thought lesbians are turned off by men, possibly revolted by the thought of being with a man then I was enlightened. I didn’t realize most lesbians had sex with men at some time in their life and a percentage continue to enjoy men sexually. Of course women use phallic toys if not an actual man in sexual play. These two women fell in love and married just as heterosexuals do, and are not completely monogamous just like those of us posting. 

[let's do it again 414]

This is one thing that I have never experienced sex with married lesbians. If they do have sex with a man, does she give him the strap on or does he fuck her like a hetro woman? I guess that I  would wonder, is she really into this or simply doing it so her partner can have sex with my SO? Also I am not sure if I could motivate myself to fuck her.

[njbm 2,868]

Sexuality is on a spectrum. People have a little or a lot of same sex interest. 

[couplers 4,615]

I would categorize these women as bisexual, except that instead of having fallen in love with and marrying a man, they married each other - women.  Unlike many bisexual women who marry a man and occasionally want pussy, they married pussy and occasionally want dick.

 

And just like women who start out straight then have their first bi experience with a woman, it is possible for a woman to start out totally homosexual and have only Lesbian sex until her first bi experience with a man.

 

Clair in our family was like that, totally Lezzie for the first eight years of her sexual life (she started early) , until she was attracted to a guy and found that she enjoyed men as well.  She lost some Lesbian friends over it, but still most of her lovers were women.  According to Clair, my husband was the first man she fell in love with, i.e., could see herself having a permanent relationship with.  Clair was my first Lesbian encounter.  So she moved in with us.

Edited March 13, 2023 by couplers

[PeterJ 940]

6 hours ago, couplers said:

And just like women who start out straight then have their first bi experience with a woman, it is possible for a woman to start out totally homosexual and have only Lesbian sex until her first bi experience with a man.

Chirlane McCray, a Wellesley graduate and the wife of former NYC mayor Bill de Blasio, was exclusively lesbian before falling in love with and marrying de Blasio.

 

"In the 1970s, I identified as a lesbian and wrote about it. In 1991, I met the love of my life, married him."

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chirlane_McCray

[BillyandDebbie 301]

Trying to give thought to this, two people in love marry whether in the traditional heterosexual sense or in the very now excepted same sex way. A homosexual, male or female, finds an attraction to one sex for a loving relationship and does not preclude getting pleasure from the other sex. The difference between be bisexual and being homosexual and being able to have sex with the other sex is interesting.

Unlike Ms. McCray it doesn’t sound that these women have “gone straight”, they are just enjoying a freedom to be sexual. 

 

 

 

[couplers 4,615]

17 hours ago, PeterJ said:

Chirlane McCray, a Wellesley graduate and the wife of former NYC mayor Bill de Blasio, was exclusively lesbian before falling in love with and marrying de Blasio

Thanks!  I remember her and the article she had written for The Atlantic or Harpers when de Blasio first became mayor.

 

The only question I have is whether she had become straight or bi.  My point is that a person can become bi from either from direction - starting out straight or homosexual.  Lora and I started out straight, Clair as Lesbian.

[cplnluv1 871]

2 hours ago, couplers said:

The only question I have is whether she had become straight or bi.  My point is that a person can become bi from either from direction - starting out straight or homosexual. 

We have met many women who were straight and had bi curiousity  My thought that there are lesbians who suppressed those feelings to blend into the accepted norm. Gay couples, male or female, are happily more accepted now with people loving others regardless of gender.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,383]

Interesting. In 25 years of swinging we have encountered a few gay male couples who swing but never a lesbian couple. But since a big part of swinging is about pushing boundaries and trying new things then why not?

Q: did the lesbian couple play with the husbands at your AirBnB?

[njbm 2,868]

We are friends with a couple who were married as long as we were, about 35 years, had two children. Husband left wife for another man. Not swingers as far as we know. 

[findinganswers 369]

4 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

we have encountered a few gay male couples who swing but never a lesbian couple.

I wouldn’t call any of our friends homophobic yet a male gay couple would be out of place at our get togethers. 

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

Relationships and sexual preferences are just as varied in the LGBQ community as the straight. 

[MidLifeFun 147]

On 3/14/2023 at 11:04 AM, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Q: did the lesbian couple play with the husbands at your AirBnB?

One was very active with the men in the group, the other less. When the one was with me her wife watched and even kissed her as if giving her approval. I did not have sex with the quieter wife, I did see her play with the people she knew. 

[Numex 2,409]

On 3/13/2023 at 5:37 AM, couplers said:

it is possible for a woman to start out totally homosexual and have only Lesbian sex until her first bi experience with a man.

My wife started her sex life with an older girl in high school.  Although she started fooling with boys shortly thereafter, she did consider herself lesbian for a while and this girl was her primary, regular partner even as this girl went to college and Daniela moved to high school.  She says that sex with another girl was more understanding, tender, and instructive than the boys who were just trying to shove it in her.  Daniela's young female lover also taught her how to deal with boys.  

[couplers 4,615]

On 3/14/2023 at 8:36 AM, cplnluv1 said:

 My thought that there are lesbians who suppressed those feelings to blend into the accepted norm.

Clair has said that with some Lesbians there is pressure on others not to explore their straight side.  A girl who has never had a dick in her is called a "Gold Star Lesbian."  Clair was at first, but then discovered she liked men as well.  Fortunately for all of us. 

[cplnluv1 871]

On 3/26/2023 at 8:18 AM, couplers said:

Clair has said that with some Lesbians there is pressure on others not to explore their straight side.  A girl who has never had a dick in her is called a "Gold Star Lesbian."  Clair was at first, but then discovered she liked men as well.  Fortunately for all of us. 

When I was in college I had bi friends and knew lesbians. The lesbians had male friends but as far as I know they had no interest in sex with the guys. 
I went “straight” when I met Alan and remained monogamous for years and then one day I agreed to allow him to watch me and another woman. We found many woman suppressed a curious side, some their desires and some for their husbands. Most of those we met were hesitant to explore on their own which why we tried to make it fun. 

[Billygoat 443]

We have met, got to know and be friends with lesbian and guy men couples and solo over the years.

 

In most lifestyle events gay men are not so welcome….or made to feel comfortable attending a mostly hetero swing/lifestyle event.  But we have experienced a few.

 

hetero couples and singles can be curious, explore and enjoy their bi side within swinger party’s/activities/events….it only stands to reason that there are those who are not hetero, emotionally and physically prefer same gender relationships but like to enjoy, explore and enjoy their bi side.  Which can be a spectacular experience if you ever are blessed to be part of it.

 

 

[Shore2Please 610]

I was neither curious or bi when the wife of the man I just spent a night with, my first time with another man, kissed me, touched me and went further. All these years later I wonder how I let things continue the way they did. I had no desire to have sex with a woman then let her do things to me the way I wouldn’t do to her. 
It is still not my thing yet am more open to it. 

[couplers 4,615]

9 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

I had no desire to have sex with a woman then let her do things to me the way I wouldn’t do to her. 

Sexual activities, whether the goings on between just partners or what spouses let the other one do, doesn't need to be symmetrical.  There is nothing wrong with enjoying a freely given gift without doing the same in return.

[Numex 2,409]

One woman in our group is a pillow queen - she is willing to take oral from a woman, but doesn't go down on women.  It's not a problem.  All the other women are more than happy to give her what she wants without having her lick them in return.

[MidwestHoneys 356]

We have married lesbian friends one of which I dated before they married. Her wife also dated guys before they became a couple. I was not totally surprised that they became a couple, more surprised when they married, it made me wonder what I did that pushed her that way. Good news they both enjoy men for sex and happy that the friend I dated still enjoys me to please her the way only a real penis can do. Who is luckier, I have a wife and our two friends. Marriage is about love, sex is about sex. My thought they have a love connection yet are bi. 

[MidLifeFun 147]

My wife had an update to tell me last night, she was talking to our friend who told her what I thought was hilarious fact about the woman couple we met, the women have a male friend that visits them that is half their age. To me it sounds a fantasy movie theme for the women and the young man. 

[TricianMike 772]

2 hours ago, MidLifeFun said:

the women have a male friend that visits them that is half their age.

Can you send him to me 🤣

 

[cplnluv1 871]

On 3/13/2023 at 3:26 PM, BillyandDebbie said:

Trying to give thought to this, two people in love marry whether in the traditional heterosexual sense or in the very now excepted same sex way.

Think you meant accepted way. Today same sex marriage is much more common from the way our parents saw marriage. We now know several same sex couples, I never know if a partner is a business partner or a marriage partner though I’m not shocked seeing happy loving people together. Putting a label on relationships is backward thinking, conventional pairs have evolved, sexual orientation has evolved, LGBT is widely accepted in our everyday lives. I never considered myself bisexual in the true sense until I really thought it through. I’m not in love with other women the way I love my husband. I can separate sexual pleasure from sexual love. 
I’m aware there are lesbians who have no attraction, even repulsed to have sex with a man, I respect them and applaud that they can live their lives happily. The same with men who would never think to be with a woman, or truly heterosexuals who would never play with the same sex. 
As a liberally open woman I understand how the lesbian couple still can enjoy the pleasure I feel only from a man. 

[couplers 4,615]

Surprisingly, from Wikipedia:

"The lesbian divorce rate is much higher than the divorce rate between men: in the same period on average 100 women and 45 men divorced per year (i.e., Lesbian divorce rate = 14%, Gay Male divorce rate = 7%). A study tracking married couples over a 10-year span found lesbian marriages were most likely to end in divorce."

 

Also surprisingly, same source:

"White wife/Black husband marriages show twice the divorce rate of White wife/White husband couples by the 10th year of marriage, whereas Black wife/White husband marriages are 44% less likely to end in divorce than White wife/White husband couples over the same period."

Edited April 23, 2023 by couplers

[lcmim 1,081]

Just a random thought here:

 

Sexual preference which is probably the most important factor in a hookup, is, or at least should be further down the list when choosing a life partner.

Perhaps the person and not the gender is the key.

 

 

 

[couplers 4,615]

On 4/23/2023 at 7:09 AM, couplers said:

Surprisingly, from Wikipedia:

"The lesbian divorce rate is much higher than the divorce rate between men: in the same period on average 100 women and 45 men divorced per year..."

 

Also surprisingly, same source:

"White wife/Black husband marriages show twice the divorce rate of White wife/White husband couples ..."

Something else that I found that surprised me:

"In comparing the datasets, the 
researchers found that men who are in consensually non-monogamous marriages are actually significantly less happy than married men at large, while women who are in consensually nonmonogamous marriages are significantly happier than married women at large."

Source:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://journals.library.ualberta.ca/cjfy/index.php/cjfy/article/download/29825/21755/78506%23:~:text%3DIn%20comparing%20the%20datasets%2C%20the,married%20women%20at%20large%20