Finding a partner for my wife

[Jjattala 3]

My wife and I are both into her sleeping with other people. But she is not into swingers clubs. We love going to a bar or a concert but when I’m with her, the chances  of someone approaching her are slim to none. She is very sexy and flirty but most people won’t go for a woman who is with her husband. Is there some signs we can use to show people we are willing to play? 

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Sorry the forum has been so slow to respond to you. That's usually not the case!

 

There are a variety of lifestyle dating sites. swinglifestyle.com is one of the most used ones in our area, but it might be different for your area. Such sites are great for finding single males who are in the lifestyle. Be aware; you have to do a lot of filtering to find good single males. There are lots of single males. Good ones are less common, but you can find them. My wife has had a number of good single men to play with. Two of them she turned into long term boyfriends, which worked out really well. I recommend you put something in your profile, some ways down in it, that asks potential single males to say something in their email to you. If they don't say it, they didn't read your profile. Delete, block, move on. Be specific about what you want.

 

If you're going to a bar or a concert and are trying to pick up single men, be aware there's a fair chance they will be cheating. That's your call if you want to deal with that. We don't. If you go to the bar of a nice hotel, you might find nice men, but they'll be traveling...and likely cheating. Sometimes there are telltale signs, sometimes not. But, if you go that route there are ways you can be more apparent that she is available and willing, for the right guy. One of the easiest ways is to wear swinger jewelry, something fairly blatant. There are some rather good options on this etsy.com site (I am not affiliated, I just found it searching)  https://www.etsy.com/market/hot_wife_jewelry I particularly like the hotwife anklets. If you go for subtle, you might not get the message across. If your wife is wearing a nice dress, she can cross her legs so that the leg with the anklet can be clearly seen to her prospective target.

 

A bit more subtle, but there's sexy jewelry that you can get as well. My wife has a necklace that has two chains leading from it to nipple rings. Men can see the chains leading out of their sight towards her breasts, and it draws them in! There's lots of potential variety here.

 

 

[TeamCalgary 168]

Good advice bbarnsworth.

 

Welcome to the swingersboard Jjattala.

 

As my eminent colleague above has stated, you likely won't have trouble finding a third to join you two.

May we suggest that you put a bit of thought into exactly what you are looking for.

Are you looking for a guy to join you for a "one and done"? Are you looking for an ongoing thing with this fellow?

What's important to your wife in terms of qualities/characteristics of this person? What's important to you?

 

As bbarnwsorth stated, they are numerous online sites that are gateways to finding what you are looking for;

we agree that using that vehicle is likely your best option as people on these sites are all there for the same reason.

Create a profile that states clearly who you are and what you are looking for. 

It would be our suggestion that you chat with any prospects, and then you (by yourself) meet with them and if they pass muster, then a meeting with the potential playmate and the two of you comes next. 

You, and your wife, need to be comfortable with any potential playmate otherwise this is going to create a problem for your relationship. 

 

Single males are plentiful in the LifeStyle (LS); take your time and think this through and the odds of you having a good first experience increase exponentially. 

 

Good luck to you both. 

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Welcome to the site!

 

All great advice above.  We've always followed the strategy of to find swingers, go where the swingers go.  So either clubs, or online swinger sites.

 

Most people don't "get" swinging, and that includes single guys, either truly single or cheaters saying they are single.  Even those within the lifestyle often don't get it, and when you are talking some random dude at a bar, the odds are going to very low on finding one that understands the situation and where he fits into it.

 

But, if we were going to try that route, then here's what we'd do.  Have her do the approach to anyone she thinks she might be interested in. She invites him back to your table to "have a drink with me and my husband."  If he bolts at the first mention of the husband word, then there's your answer on that one.  If he comes to table and you pick up that he is all puffed up under the mistaken idea that you obviously can't satisfy her, then there's your answer on that one, now you just have to figure out a way to make him go away quick.

 

But, if you can find one that clears those two early hurdles, then just spend some time chatting.  Everything keeps going good where he is interacting with both of you, then maybe she asks him to dance.  If he still sticks around, then maybe the next dance, she sort of drops the hint to him what you all are looking for.  If he reacts well to that, then once they are back at the table, all three of you get down to the nitty gritty on what the deal is, and if all are still good, take it from there.

[Numex 2,412]

On 3/14/2023 at 5:48 AM, Jjattala said:

She is very sexy and flirty but most people won’t go for a woman who is with her husband.

Go to a bar and sit separately.  Watch your wife as she flirts and seduces a man.  She then tells him that she has a husband (she points to you, you wave) and that if he wants to fuck her, he has to let her husband watch and/or participate.  Go over, introduce yourself and show him that you're a kinky but good guy.  In most circumstances he will already be too far gone to turn her down.

Edited March 29, 2023 by Numex

[TricianMike 772]

2 hours ago, Numex said:

Go to a bar and sit separately.  Watch your wife as she flirts and seduces a man.  She then tells him that she has a husband (she points to you, you wave) and that if he wants to fuck her, he has to let her husband watch and/or participate.  Go over, introduce yourself and show him that you're a kinky but good guy.  In most circumstances he will already be too far gone to turn her down.

Something we have done many times. We got the idea from reading a post and now I’m wondering if it was your post. 

[Numex 2,412]

On 3/28/2023 at 8:45 PM, TricianMike said:

Something we have done many times. We got the idea from reading a post and now I’m wondering if it was your post. 

To quote a tactical genius, "I love t when a plan come's together."  Unfortunately, I can't remember if I had posted it before.

 

Please tell us more about your success rate and experiences.  Did you watch and participate?

Edited April 1, 2023 by Numex

[TricianMike 772]

On 4/1/2023 at 7:49 PM, Numex said:

Please tell us more about your success rate and experiences.  Did you watch and participate?

When we did this for the first time about 10 years ago it was hit or miss. I remember the first time we went to a hotel in Princeton where we knew plenty of business stayed. It was fun to tease this one middle aged man, but it turned into just that, a tease. I couldn’t convince the one guy I set my sights on. Our second attempt went about the same way. I was asked what I was charging but when I said nothing, only thing my husband wanted to watch. That’s when that went the opposite way we were hoping. That same evening we tried another bar where I met a 20 something young man and struck up a sexual conversation, did he like older women. By his look it didn’t seem he was very experienced even when he said he was with an older “milf”. That’s when his friend showed up, a good looking young man who was at the same business meeting. My conversation with them was much more explicit from what I said to the other men, I told them my husband wanted to watch me f&s. They laughed but I got them to take me to a room. 
Over the years we have replayed many different scenarios, we found older men, married men less likely to agree but have had some success. Of course there is much less business meeting or trade shows in the last three years so we took to finding mostly younger men at sports bars and sports events. As expected the men are not the same as the men at business meetings. 
Michael mostly watches at many of these pick-ups but has joined many times.