Would You Have Your Wife and Mistress In Bed?

[MapleCpl 67]

I have the chance to hook up with another single female now.   We have now agreed to play, how, when and where so it's in the bag.

 

However, I have not told her that me and my wife are swingers.  She knows of my wife as I didn't lie about her existence.

My wife knows about her and based on our open relationship she approves of me playing with this female.

Here is the question mainly for males, but females please feel free to jump in if you wish.

Part of me wants this woman to join me and my wife (she suggested it) in bed for a few days while on vacation, but another makes me wonder what benefit I will get from this.

I basically feel if my wife is there with us, this female will keep her feelings in check.  On the other hand if I play with her alone she will completely give herself to me.  I know most males would jump at the possibility of having the wife and a mistress(Unicorn) in bed while vacationing.

I hope this question makes sense and doesn't throw you for a loop.

[let's do it again 414]

If she knows about your wife, why didn't you tell her that both of you are swingers. If you get both in bed with you, do you think they will enjoy each other sexually? If you do pull this off and get both together in bed with you on vacation, how are you going to feel next time you go on vacation and your wife wants to bring a man on vacation to share a bed with you and your wife? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

[NYirCPL 38]

I don't like it.

 

If you're going to be a cheater, cheat.

 

If you're going to be a lifestyler, be open and honest.

 

 

Edited March 28, 2023 by NYirCPL

[MapleCpl 67]

Thanks for your feedback folks.  The woman in question is actually meeting us at the vacation spot.  We are travelling to her country.  

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

You need to tell her you and your wife are swingers, and that your wife is completely onboard with her being around. Stop being dishonest.

[Numex 2,409]

Be honest with both women then ask what they would like to do.  For your sake I hope they don't toss you aside and just get with one another.

[intuition897 2,179]

Hoo, boy.  I have questions.

 

I guess first, what is it you want from this single woman?  You seem unsure how to feel about the whole thing.  Are you titillated by the idea of cheating?  Of her "giving herself completely" to you (aka falling in love with you)?  Is that something you want to happen, or is it something you're trying to avoid?  

 

I'm not a fan of dishonesty, so I don't exactly get warm, fuzzy feelings if, for example, a single woman thought my husband was stepping out on me and she was totally okay with that.  It speaks to a lack of integrity which would naturally extend to the way she deals with other things, too.  At least the logic would follow.  I'm not anyone's babysitter, and I can't tell them how to manage themselves, but if I knew that a playmate was actually married and fucking around behind his wife's back...just saying...there comes a point where I get to make a decision about my involvement, too.  And I've got enough bad karma already.

 

A former friend of mine had a disastrous 3some with a homewrecking coworker - she had to get absolutely shitfaced to go through with it 🚩 because her husband was dead set on this happening 🚩.  She worked with this woman 🚩, whom she knew had a history of breaking up marriages for fun 🚩.  She went through with it but didn't remember any of it, then had to go back to work with this soul-sucking vampire woman who emotionally tortured her by saying things like, "I wonder if J is thinking about you or me right now?"  🚩  Oh, and she gave her the clap.  In her throat.   🚩Good times.  Anyhoo, if you're seeing any red flags like these popping up, maybe back up a bit and talk to your wife about your concerns.

 

 

Edited April 9, 2023 by intuition897

[EastInWest 1,524]

I have been on a few vanilla dates while traveling and my policy is that if she knows I have a spouse, I tell her the truth that my spouse knows I'm there and it's fine. Mrs. E has been in the opposite position. I've only one date end over it, and on amiable terms. If they don't ask, they probably don't want to know, that's the reality of Tinder, etc. I don't think the "big picture" about swinging and other people is really their business.

 

With that said, I wouldn't put someone in the position of thinking they have to pretend and I'm not totally clear from the question what she thinks the situation is. Does she know your wife approves or does she think she's doing scandalous with you and has to pretend it's spontaneous?

 

The former I'd be open to, the latter, nope.