First time couple swap and how to proceed now

[Gregg999 0]

I am 40, wife is 37 now. We had our first encounter with another married couple when I was about 28, and with the same couple for about a year and a half. We became very good friends and found our way into a swap over a weekend, a same room swap. We all talked about it in general a couple time prior, and thru the course of an evening at our house it came about. It started with oral with our own wives and then positions changed, next thing I knew it was just taking place, a bit awkward but seemed to go well with everyone getting what they wanted out of it. They spent the night and we had a little discussion the next morning before they left, at which I was very surprised at how open we all were about it at that point. Since then we had all been together a few times more in that year and a half, and they moved to the west coast and we would talk on the phone from time to time. They had called recently and now I found out they are moving back to the area  next month as he starts a new job here nearby. They now have a boy and girl, and we have a girl. They are already thinking they would like to pick up with us where it left off. My wife and I have discussed this and both would like to try again, but I have to question now if we should or shouldn't now there are kids and we are older. I think it would be good again for my wife and I to have that feeling and freedom once more, but a bit on the fence. I am sure others that have kids find a way still, and my wife was all smiles thinking of our old times again, so I feel she is more on board at this point and maybe a little more worry free about it, so my question really is how concerned should I be about the age and kids? Or am I over thinking this? I certainly do remember how good it was to have those times, and if it all works out shortly this could actually happen again for us in about a month. Thanks for listening, appreciate any thoughts on it.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

I think you're over thinking it :) Certainly kids affect our lives, no matter how much we say they won't. But, having kids has never been much of an impediment to us in the lifestyle. We started in the lifestyle after we'd had our kids and they were still young. Quite young. The only way in which it really affected things for us was when my wife got her first regular boyfriend. We didn't always have babysitters, especially on shorter notice, so she played solo with him a lot. We did a lot of MFMs too, but that was more planned out.

 

So, one way this could work for you all is being baby sitters for each other; one of you watches the kids while the other three play. Also, getting a babysitter to cover your kids together might be easier too.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Overthinking it.

 

As long as it doesn't become a priority it should be just fine. Just don't go flaunting things in front of the kids, but even two couples getting together and giving each other a quick kiss is fine. Two couples sharing a babysitter so they can go out and do something together is fine as well...'real' people do this all of the time. Just because you have 'shared' more than the average couple don't be too sensitive as to what you limit yourselves to. Instead of thinking 'we're swingers: what should we do', think 'they're our best friends (that we just happen to get naked with): what would best friends do'?

[Numex 2,409]

On 5/16/2023 at 6:36 PM, Gregg999 said:

They are already thinking they would like to pick up with us where it left off. My wife and I have discussed this and both would like to try again, but I have to question now if we should or shouldn't now there are kids and we are older.

Swinging is especially important after you have kids and are older.  It will keep you interested in one another and in life in general.  I couldn't imagine my wife being as happy as she is without the opportunity to get some elsewhere.  Think of the things you haven't done and wanted to.  Don't let life pass you by.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Adding to what Numex said:

 

Something that most couples have happen way too often is once they have kids they slip into the 'mom' and 'dad' role and forget that they used to be very sexual people. The kids eventually leave and then what does mom and dad do...somehow they need to get back to being lovers and just enjoying being together. Doesn't matter how they do this...it might be swinging, or porn, or exhibitionism, or whatever, but all too often, they forget that they need to get back to being lovers. Otherwise, they all too often look in the wrong places to find new lovers...

[let's do it again 414]

2 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Adding to what Numex said:

 

Something that most couples have happen way too often is once they have kids they slip into the 'mom' and 'dad' role and forget that they used to be very sexual people. The kids eventually leave and then what does mom and dad do...somehow they need to get back to being lovers and just enjoying being together. Doesn't matter how they do this...it might be swinging, or porn, or exhibitionism, or whatever, but all too often, they forget that they need to get back to being lovers. Otherwise, they all too often look in the wrong places to find new lovers...

This is exactly right! I have seen couples fall apart right after the kids move out. I say renew it with this couple, have as good time as before.

[AdamGunn2 393]

On 5/23/2023 at 2:21 PM, let's do it again said:

This is exactly right! I have seen couples fall apart right after the kids move out. I say renew it with this couple, have as good time as before.

I'm not disagreeing with you LDIA, just addicting.

 

I don't believe I've ever seen a couple that has problems after the kids become adults *who had a strong, loving relationship while the kids were around.* Now, if they've just been sticking to each other because of the kids, or because it's easier, or the wife has needed the financial support, etc. yeah, there can be problems.

 

Becoming empty-nesters is a huge change in life. For fifteen years (or much more!) you've had as one of the primary purposes in your life the care and feeding of your offspring. All of a sudden, it's not important anymore! (Or at least less important.) It's a great time to take up new things you've always been sort of interested in: gardening, traveling, or even screwing other people!

[Numex 2,409]

On 5/23/2023 at 9:36 AM, GoldCoCouple said:

somehow they need to get back to being lovers

The better thing is to never stop being lovers, and we here know (ironically) the best way to do that is for both spouses to have at least one other sex partner.

[Juan234 18]

Updates?

 

It sounds fun, you are friends and can also have double dates with benefits.

[lcmim 1,081]

Vanillas "go dancing" or whatever all the time. Sleepovers are a bit harder.

40 and 37? You are just ancient.

[Numex 2,409]

6 hours ago, lcmim said:

Sleepovers are a bit harder.

It shouldn't be with this couple, those rows have already been plowed, figuratively and literally.

 

On 5/16/2023 at 6:36 PM, Gregg999 said:

next thing I knew it was just taking place, a bit awkward but seemed to go well with everyone getting what they wanted out of it. They spent the night and we had a little discussion the next morning before they left, at which I was very surprised at how open we all were about it at that point. Since then we had all been together a few times more in that year and a half,

 

[lcmim 1,081]

Numex , I was referencing this "now there are kids", as far as  sleepovers being more difficult.

[Numex 2,409]

On 3/4/2024 at 7:00 AM, lcmim said:

Numex , I was referencing this "now there are kids", as far as  sleepovers being more difficult.

Sorry for the misunderstanding. That's why the couples in our group tend to have threesomes with the person sitting it out watching the combined kids, at another place.