Does anyone run, hide, or leave an orgy ?

[Ammmy 0]

When I sober up and reality hits me mid orgy or after the person that I am with cums, I have a tendency to run away, hide, or leave the orgy and my partner. I just go away to the bathroom and don't come back. Last time I left the location completely but I was disgusted with myself because the guy I was with came and then wanted to continue fucking me, but my gut reaction was to run home and shower as quickly as possible. I want my partner to have fun, but for me ....I usually only need/want a few pumps and I'm done, especially when it's only one other couple, I prefer parties/clubs  because there are alot of people and you aren't so close an intimate,..it's more like a performance in my mind and it's fun to watch other people too! I'm not necessarily mad at my partner. I'm mad at myself because I sometimes I just can't take anymore and/or I question why I'm there in the first place..I guess I feel remorse?? Dirty? Ashamed?  What can I do to overcome this??? Take more "party favors" ? Please help because I don't want to lose my partner over this. Thank you...

[PeterJ 945]

8 hours ago, Ammmy said:

…I have a tendency to run away, hide, or leave the orgy and my partner. I just go away to the bathroom and don't come back. …I guess I feel remorse?? Dirty? Ashamed?  What can I do to overcome this??? Take more "party favors" ? Please help because I don't want to lose my partner over this. Thank you...

Ammmy, if you are being candid in your post — for now I make that assumption — my opinion is that swinging is not for you. No one should be doing things that make them feel "dirty" or "ashamed". Unless it happens to be your kink, which I assume it is not, in my opinion engaging in behavior that makes you feel shitty about yourself, even temporarily, is self-injurious. Other sports beckon.