Terrified

[ExploringOptions 185]

Is it normal to be terrified when meeting for a first time experience?

Not the first time having sex of course so why am I terrified?

We chose together to meet first timers. Will they have the anxiety I’m having?

I have visualized this meeting all night yet terrified. We both want to go, I just need the anxiousness to go away. 

[couplers 4,640]

The best way to get over any anxiety is to do it and gain experience.  Notice how those who have been in the lifestyle for even a short while are very comfortable with it and look forward to their next encounter, and to go on new adventures.

 

And then there are people with FOMO - fear of missing out.

 

 

Edited July 7, 2023 by couplers

[couplers 4,640]

After thinking about this, I must ask: what are you terrified of?  Is it you having sex with someone other than your spouse?  Surely you've done that before you were married.  Same with your spouse.

 

Is it that you may not like the other couple?  That you may end up doing things that you have never done before? 

 

And why have you chosen another set of first timers?

 

There's a lot to think about. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

I think it's completely normal and the other couple probably feels the exact same way. Sometimes it helps to agree there will be no sex on the first meet (subject to change), but like every other daunting task, the jitters usually vanish once the meet happens.

 

Take a few deep breaths and go in. Remember life's biggest regrets are usually the things you didn't do.

[lovefest04 699]

Your terrified? What is wrong with you?

 

Really, if you're not a bit nervous you're probably part of just 1% of new swingers who aren't. It is so normal and exhilarating as well.

 

Enjoy the feeling. It's exciting, it gets blood flowing, it tells you you're embarking on something new, it's perfect...you're perfect.

 

Yes, they will be nervous as well. Maybe they will be better at hiding it, maybe not. Maybe it will be a topic of conversation. "Nice to meet you. My god I'm nervous, you?"

 

Our first time, we were so nervous. But we jumped right in. Took each others hand and basically never looked back. The excitement was part of the fun. One of our early meetings was just a meet and greet in a coffee shop where other patrons could definitely hear us. There we were discussing sex, swinging in the open with a couple we had never met. So crazy. So fun. Definitely gets the juices flowing.

 

Have fun, remember you are in this together, look to each other for support and know that you can stop anytime you want.

 

 

 

 

 

[lcmim 1,082]

First time meeting or first time meeting to play?

 

If it is just meeting, have no fear and just dinner , drinks , and conversation. Pointed conversation , yes, but nothing beyond a kiss.

 

If meeting to play then a bit of trepidation is normal, terror not so much.

 

If terror is the correct word, then take a step back and untwist your mind. You are probably just over thinking things

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Vulnerability accompanies many first-time events in life. Your first sexual experience. Your first child. If you are training to be a surgeon, your first operation. If you are a senior attorney, your first case argued before the highest court. If you are a pilot, the first time your instructor gets out of the airplane and tells you to fly it alone around the airport. We manage vulnerability by specifying our intentions, creating boundaries, and accepting that no one is going to be perfect "the first time around". This goes for hitting a golf ball, or writing an essay, or picking up a brush and palette and painting a first watercolor. 

 

The first non-monogamous experience in a marriage is one of those events. Am I risking my marriage? What if we don't like it? What if we do like it? What if it goes badly? What if I can't perform? What if the other couple thinks badly of us? And so on. You are "putting yourself out there". 

 

A reflection on those other vulnerable moments that went badly--maybe you were stood up for a date, or failed a test, or lost a job, or whatever--they look different in the rear view mirror. You picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and asked what you learned from the experience. 

 

But on further reflection, you realize that those occasional vulnerable moments that went bad are swamped by all of the experiences that went really well. You enjoyed something new, you learned something about yourself, you (and those with whom you shared the experience) say "we did that!"

 

Non-monogamy is the rule, not the exception, in marriage. Most of the time it's cheating. Here, you and your spouse have said "let's try this and see what it feels like". You have chosen to put a toe in the water together. It's consensual. That means you can lean on each other. And both of you can lean into a shared experience. 

 

The first time you drove a car, the angst was there. The first time you kissed someone romantically, the angst was there. The first time you said "I do", the angst was there.   (I know. While Mrs. FL was getting hair and makeup done, I dealt with my pre-wedding jitters by going to buy a pair of athletic shoes. No, I did not wear them to the wedding. ) 

 

It's okay to have butterflies and wonder "how did we get to this point?"  Just make sure you are clear with your spouse on intentions and boundaries.  Then go have fun.

[TnA83 309]

On 7/7/2023 at 5:20 AM, ExploringOptions said:

Is it normal to be terrified when meeting for a first time experience?

Not the first time having sex of course so why am I terrified?

We chose together to meet first timers. Will they have the anxiety I’m having?

I have visualized this meeting all night yet terrified. We both want to go, I just need the anxiousness to go away. 

So what do you think?  When is the big night?

[TricianMike 772]

What can go wrong if 4 terrified unsure people meet for sex? Strangers meeting for the first time with no experience to guide you is not the best idea, guidance is needed. You are on a swingers site giving you the opportunity to find a match based on your criteria, looking for a little experience could be a better entry. 

[couplers 4,640]

7 minutes ago, TricianMike said:

4 terrified unsure people meet for sex? Strangers meeting for the first time

Yes.  A better first step would be a threesome, MFM or FMF, with someone who you both know and are comfortable with. 

[TricianMike 772]

51 minutes ago, couplers said:

Yes.  A better first step would be a threesome, MFM or FMF, with someone who you both know and are comfortable with. 

Not for us, we wanted and needed another man and woman with no desire then for a threesome. I understand now why threesome are great, we just needed a true swinging act when we started. 

[njbm 2,871]

We met some experienced swingers early in our career. Advanced our progress more than other newbies with whom we had staring contests. It’s fun to be a veteran, but we all have to walk the walk and have odd experiences to get there. 
 

Our motto was “This week’s tragedy will be next week’s comedy.” No shows, no shows by the female partner replaced by an escort, people who tried to sneak out of a restaurant without saying goodbye while we were in the bathroom, staring at other newbies for four hours in a hotel lobby, depositing a condom in a female playmate and unable to find it till she got home…we’ve seen some things. 

[Numex 2,416]

We started with just Daniela playing with one ex then another before moving onto full couples swaps.  It worked best for us concentrating on her first.

[ExploringOptions 185]

On 7/7/2023 at 12:54 PM, lovefest04 said:

Your terrified? What is wrong with you?

 

Really, if you're not a bit nervous you're probably part of just 1% of new swingers who aren't. It is so normal and exhilarating as well.

 

11 hours ago, TricianMike said:

What can go wrong if 4 terrified unsure people meet for sex? Strangers meeting for the first time with no experience to guide you is not the best idea, guidance is needed. You are on a swingers site giving you the opportunity to find a match based on your criteria, looking for a little experience could be a better entry. 

Relieved. I’m relieved, they are relieved. 
An hour before we were going to meet I got a text, can we talk? Followed by a call. 
She said they didn’t want to ghost us, they are having second thoughts. I burst out Thank You. I told her how terrified I was, I was still convincing myself that it would be fine. After exposing our fears she said they would still want to meet us just not for “you know”. 90 minutes later we met them at restaurant bar. 
Relieved. 
They looked better in IRL. Pictures were current. 
Conversation started slow with the men quiet, I tried to talk normal shit. I didn’t know how to start sex talk, when it did we tried to keep the talk low so nobody would hear us. Once we started the talk became funny and the men warmed up. It’s hard to say why we want to meet to others, I’m still asking myself. We all had sex stories to share finally leading what we would do if we did do it. Kissing, oral, condoms, we both are on the same bc. It was easy for me to admit sexual things I never told anyone, she was going head to head with her past. The guys weren’t as open they just laughed. Three drinks in I think I asked if he still wants to fuck me, she asked the same of us. Both guys said a big YES. 

No sex yet, we plan to meet and try this again. On the drive home I felt better and said if we met someone experienced we would like be swingers now. He asked me if would feel better that way. I was happy to know our new contact were very much like us, terrified and now relieved. We will find out if they liked us as much as we enjoyed our meet. I also know I will still be terrified if we make plans, and I am sure she will be too. 
Our adventure is to be continued. I’m sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for juicy graphic post. 

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

I left my terror feelings at the door and it followed me in. Meeting a couple that will work with your fears is what is needed. You are now on equal ground with another couple opening up to their fears. Jokes and laughing takes away the fear that every new situation brings not only sexual situations. You will always remember the first time you meet, your meeting was a success without sex, you made friends. 

[couplers 4,640]

9 hours ago, ExploringOptions said:

I will still be terrified if we make plans

Your feelings are understandable, but isn't it interesting that contemplating a totally natural (and pleasurable) act can bring on such feelings?  It’s like you're planning a murder.

 

We entered the lifestyle from a different direction, but I had no hesitancy having sex with someone else.  It bothered me that my husband and boyfriend would.  Until it didn't.  Perhaps it shows I'm greedy and self-centered, but the guys were more than ok with it.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

11 hours ago, ExploringOptions said:

. I was happy to know our new contact were very much like us

There is so much truth and insight in this simple observation. Think hard about the notion of "very much like us". It starts with shared values. While your life experiences are unique, they brought you and the other couple to sufficiently similar realizations about yourselves, that you are now at the same threshold. 

 

11 hours ago, ExploringOptions said:

if we met someone experienced we would like be swingers now

Perhaps. What you are really thinking about here is the role of the mentor(s). 

 

11 hours ago, ExploringOptions said:

Our adventure is to be continued.

We invite you to compare your/their journey into the LS with the monomyth or, as it is more commonly known, the Hero's Journey as conceptualized by Joseph Campbell in the middle of the 20th century.   

 

 

One of the standard questions meeting a new couple is, "How did you get started in the LS?"  This is more than curiosity, and much more than mere conversation-filler. It is both an affirmation of shared experience and a curiosity about the variations on that journey. As you read about the Hero's Journey, you will come to realize that every person/couple who has experienced the LS has taken this journey. We have lived to tell the tale, and -- like all who are posting on the thread--are serving as sort of mentors-at-a-distance. 

 

Good luck!

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Quote

Is it normal to be terrified when meeting for a first time experience?

Yes, but the word we choose to use is "excited"

 

Quote

Not the first time having sex of course so why am I terrified?

Once again, think of it as excited and not terrified. One is a thrilling experience and the other is frightening.

 

Quote

We chose together to meet first timers. Will they have the anxiety I’m having?

Absolutely...as you found out.

 

This is why we always recommend that the first meeting be for drinks or dinner with both couples knowing that playing is not on the board. It takes the pressure off and lets everyone get the chance to just get to know each other. Afterwards, both couples can then decide if there will be a second meeting where things may (or may not) happen. Definitely takes the 'terrifying' and pressure out of the equation.

 

Quote

I didn’t know how to start sex talk, when it did we tried to keep the talk low so nobody would hear us.

This is something that we have always been surprised about...we are all there because we are interested in sex, yet all too often, nobody wants to bring it up. This is one of the more 'fun' thing we enjoy about swinging...being able to openly talk about sex with others. Yet, all too often, even though we are meeting another potential couple, they steer away from talking about sex (even though we keep trying to steer things back that direction).

 

Meetings will become easier and you will both become more comfortable as you get used to doing them. We were the same way when we started, then realized that almost everyone feels the same when they started as well. It's all part of the adventure that the two of you have undertaken. Enjoy the ride as well as the destination...  

[AdamGunn2 398]

Congratulations on a good first experience. It seems it left you considering more, that's all you really need.

 

I would suggest that 'terrified' is not quite the right word you're looking for. 'Terrified' is what I am when I'm camping and a bear comes into the site and it looks at me and I know I'm gonna die.

 

Perhaps, better words might be 'spooked', 'uneasy' or 'overwrought.' But they're your emotions, so if you really are terrified, I hope you don't get eaten by the bear.

[lovefest04 699]

How fun. Thank you for sharing. I'm so excited for you all.

 

Honestly if you never have sex with them, the experience is something you will remember and talk about for the rest of your lives...I HOPE.

 

You note brought up such good memories for me.

 

Cool!

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

20 hours ago, ExploringOptions said:

 

 I’m sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for juicy graphic post. 

Disappoint!?!?! Not at ALL! Great post!

[gokuandchichi 8]

23 hours ago, ExploringOptions said:

I’m sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for juicy graphic post. 

That is what the stories section of this website are for

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

Last night I ask Rocky if he read this about being terrified when we met others. He said I was always excited to meet, eager until we would get to the meetings. Most were fakes he reminded me and I looked relieved when we realized nothing was going to happen. 
Our first real meeting was with a great cpl we remain very close to. We called them and asked how I reacted when we Did It the first time. She said I was terrified and shy. I never thought of myself as shy, I might have had body issues, not 20 years old anymore. Even talking last night we relived with plenty of laughs how shy I was at first. She said I was trembling or shaking and very quiet, I wouldn’t take a towel off my waist. It was our first time doing this, the very first time letting a woman touch me. Rocky said I just closed my eyes and didn’t say a word when she used one of her toys on me, quiet for about 10 seconds and then biting my lip until I made my orgasm sounds. We were laughing again when Mrs Cpl said I pushed her head down making me bi and very quiet again. Laughing at my expense, I said I didn’t  remember that. She said I still get shy when we play. No longer nervous like the first time I still get excited. I never thought of myself as shy. 

[ExploringOptions 185]

14 hours ago, ROCKlandCpl said:

It was our first time doing this, the very first time letting a woman touch me.

I feel stupid asking this, it’s strange asking intimate details. All of us have dated and ended up in bed even on a first date. Guys always think they bedded a girl without thinking the other side that we wanted it too. I don’t think I am any different from all of us growing up going back to a guys place, in bed kissing then touching and somehow both of would be doing it. I usually enjoyed the kissing and foreplay leading up to what I had hoped would be great, sometimes disappointed. 
What I’m trying to understand is how the dynamic changes now with swinging. Sure when dating I met guys for sex, it seemed natural. Now meeting others, two people it still seems crazy. Even thinking about bi sex is strange, maybe why I keep thinking why wouldn’t I. I am putting myself into your post thinking how did all this happen. Did you just get together, undress and wait for her to play with you. I am trying to visualize myself in your space on a bed naked waiting for a woman to do things that have only been done by my husband and old dates. With guys there was a pretense of romance with an expectation of sex. Here there is no romance and it’s a woman in front of husbands. 
One more thing, how did you reciprocate with the wife, I’m thinking sex with the husband which is still all the words like terrifying, exciting, uneasy will be somewhat less terrifying, sex with the wife crazy different. 
I know I’m overthinking, the ones we already met seem normal, safe and sane, and I know she is as terrified as me. Overthinking that we should find someone more experienced because they will know. 
I really can’t wait to write that we did and not be terrified anymore. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Not sure we understand the question, but that's one reason we have first 'dates' where everyone knows that play is not on the board...to take the pressure off. Before we get together to play, we discuss what is okay and what isn't (and we check in on this just about every time we are planning on getting together). We check because this can (and usually) changes as comfort levels and rules adapt. We then don't try to push them to go any further than they are comfortable with. We are looking for long term friends (with benefits) and not just a quick roll in the hay, so we are all about trust and respect for everyone involved. If the other wife is interested in kissing Ms. Gold, then that is okay IF is happens (and okay if it doesn't), but nothing more is expected. It's all about trust and communication with everyone involved. While we don't have very many rules these days, one of them will always be "don't move any faster than the slowest member is comfortable with". This is supposed to be something me and Ms. Gold enjoy together, and we want the other couple to be enjoying it as well...and we have the rest of our lives so there really isn't a big rush...take your time and enjoy the experience.

 

Hope that answers part of your question...(?)

 

Also: still should be excited and not terrified. If you are really terrified, you might need to take a step back and see what is causing the terror.

[lovefest04 699]

I wonder if you're not putting too much pressure on yourself. I don't mean this as a slight, but maybe you just need to lighten up.

 

We like to look at these adventures as just that, adventures. We also try to be playful, laugh, giggle, be okay with being uncomfortable and even awkward. If you are both new to this, then all the better. Be weird, clumsy, and nervous together as a group.

 

I might suggest that your first meet up include other activities not specifically focused on getting naked in bed. We have gone to restaurants and flirted, girls without panties, traded partners and touched each other under the table. We've been to nude beaches or private hot tubs. We've gone to clubs and partied with a lot of added sexual tension. We've been to art openings, flirted, looked at art, traded time with each others spouse, kissed each other knowing that we couldn't have sex in the studio but might later on. It is a real turn on as a married couple to be kissing two women/men in public.  It was a build up, but offered an opportunity to test the waters and spark the juices.

 

I remember one time when it was my wife, a single guy and myself (MFM) at a club. We were dancing, touching, really being sexy on the dance floor. She was kissing both of us. Guys in the crowd were like, WTF. Trying to approach her, but she would tell them she was with us. That she was going to fuck us both later. The looks on the others faces was priceless. But the point is we were having sexy fun. Enjoying ourselves.

 

Some of these evenings ended without any 'sex' and they were still a blast.

 

If you're kind, honest, open and respectful you really can't go wrong. Have fun...

 

[ConfusedHubby 118]

On 7/9/2023 at 10:48 AM, TricianMike said:

Not for us, we wanted and needed another man and woman with no desire then for a threesome. I understand now why threesome are great, we just needed a true swinging act when we started. 

Agreed.  4 way compatibility may be more difficult, but I'm glad that was our entry.  Inside every threesome is the potential for a 2 sum and 1 sum.   Without having gotten your feet wet with a swap, that could be hard to process for a first experience. 

 

Our first several swaps/4 sums went without a hitch, but I definitely had things to process after our first MFM.

[BillyandDebbie 301]

Excited and Terrified many times in my life like going skiing, on coasters, watching movies and so many other times. I was terrified watching Debbie the first time with our friend and equally excited. I was more excited the first time having sex as a teen, too excited embarrassingly, yet terrified that I knocked her up. 
You asked do I just spread my legs, yes. Let her please you, just enjoy. I bet you have pleased past boyfriends and your husband that way and hoping you spread your legs for those partners. I’m still excited when Debbie spreads enjoying me eating her while she screams and jerks. I bet you will forget who is between your legs if it feels good. 
Get your adrenaline going and take in the excitement as the terrifying thoughts melt away. Now you have to deal with the others getting over fears of swinging. 

[ExploringOptions 185]

Step 2 for us happened last night that went the way the 4 us planned without sex. We met the same ones again for a very nice dinner and more talk about sex and swinging and the reasons we want to swing again what we want to do our histories of sex and still laughed about all things stupid we did. Meeting them this time we had no intentions to have sex last night it was just to get together like any friend for a nice night out because they have a child and a babysitter that needed to get home by 11:00. With no sex planned the big question is when we would do it they still haven’t left us meaning they enjoyed being with us and we enjoyed them we weren’t strangers anymore going to meet for sex. She was the most talkative about sex the guys just laughed at two sexual women opening up with real sex talk. When she said she wants to fuck both of us we knew we had to get over whatever was hold us back they were the perfect match for us. 
Step 3 will be tonight at their place she will get her mom to watch their kid for the night and we won’t have any interruptions for our plans that she no longer wants to be curious about us she plans to break the barriers. Now we are excited and have to wait all day to do this being less terrified still not knowing how it will go I need her to push this for me. 

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

ExploringOptions;

 

Guess what? You're in a WONDERFUL place! Terrified? Excited? Jumble of nerves? Turned on? All of this can be exquisite. It's a bit like the first date you ever had in your life, the first time a young man touched you, the first time you kissed.

 

You aren't stupid asking anything! That's one of the reasons this forum exists! My wife and I would not have gotten into swinging without this forum and its ability to answer so many questions, even questions we didn't think of and questions we couldn't quite articulate.

 

It's true with swinging there isn't a pretense of romance. But, there's still a pretense of courtship if that makes sense. You've already been doing that with this other couple. You're finding common ground, talking, getting to know each other, seeing if there is attraction, seeing if there is compatibility. That's all part of the "vanilla dating" (what swingers call regular, non-swinging dating) too. Now, that's not to say that romance can't be felt. I remember reading a post here from a woman who talked about her first ever swinging experience. For her, it was very definitely making love, and she very much enjoyed it like that. That's a whole area of understanding. Some swingers approach it as "Hi! Let's go fuck!" and off they go and bam-bam-bam. Some approach it more akin to dating. There's no 'wrong' answer; the right answer is what works for you and your husband. There's no mold you're supposed to fit here. Be you.

 

Swinging can feel quite awkward at first. Your whole upbringing, all of society tries very hard to teach us that monogamous relationships are the end-all-be-all, and anything else is socially criminal. We're not given the tools to understand what non-monogamy looks like, how to think of it, embrace it, feel it, understand it. As a result, it can be absolutely terrifying to approach it because it's such an unknown. You're on this journey with your husband. Keep the communication between the two of you absolutely open, and always make it a journey you're on together. Do that, and how any evening works out will always end with you and your husband in each other's arms both physically and emotionally. You're the team.

 

I don't think you need to find someone more experienced. I think you've already found the right couple based on what you've said. Ok, they're new too. That can make things awkward, but it can also add a lot of spice.

 

When you get together for more than just dinner and talking, there will be some point where there will be an ice breaker. I can't tell you what that ice breaker is. My wife and I had an MFM with a guy who was a bit nervous on how to move forward, so I started things off by unzipping her dress. It can be being at a club, and trading partners on a dance floor. It can be at dinner, where wife A sits with husband B on the same side of the table, and physical proximity ignites things. From what you've posted, it feels like the wife in the other couple may be the one to break the ice. But, once the ice is broken I think everyone will start moving forward. As terrified as you are, it might be you that breaks the ice. It can be as simple as you hugging the other husband, and doing it as a physically intimate hug as opposed to a hug you give a friend. You know the type of hug...where you press your breasts against him, move your hips into him. There's all sorts of ways to do this, and they're all essentially the same as how you break the ice on a vanilla date.

 

Don't be surprised if you're still terrified after the date that gets things going physically. It took some time for my wife and I to feel like doing this was 'normal'. Not that we didn't want it to be exciting, but that we felt comfortable enough to be at ease. It's all new. This is normal.

 

Just remember; doing this doesn't mean you love your husband less or he loves you less. Rather the opposite! You are both enjoying an incredible new experience that you couldn't be doing if you didn't love each other so much. You have probably already felt that these first few steps on this journey together has already brought you closer. Swinging, in a couple that is already in love, usually magnifies that love. Seems paradoxical but it is true.

 

I hope you have a wonderful time tonight! Let us know how it goes!

 

 

[ToeDippers 83]

This is a great way for young swingers to start I wish we were young and exploring instead of middle aged thinking how much fun we missed. 
Don’t worry we all felt nervous the first time not knowing what was going to happen. How perfect that you found people you like with as much experience as you agreeing to take that first step. 
I so want to read that you and them hit it off and made it work. Best of luck just remember to enjoy. 

[ExploringOptions 185]

Overcome Your Fears and Live Life

 

Our first adventure is not over. The man sleeping next to me is not my husband, I can’t sleep from our exciting fun we are having with our hosts. 
 

A New Bisexual Swinger 

 

 

[couplers 4,640]

23 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

You're in a WONDERFUL place! Terrified? Excited? Jumble of nerves? Turned on? All of this can be exquisite.

You are 100% correct.  And may I add "jealous?"  Many fear it (I did), but now I crave that emotion and dealing with it afterwards. Exquisite, indeed. 

 

23 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

My wife and I would not have gotten into swinging without this forum

I was already involved with two men physically and emotionally when I found this forum.  It made me feel normal rather than sinful.  This forum gave me the courage to be happy when my men later started relationships with other women, I found my Lesbian side and, most importantly, we became a family and had children.

 

23 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

Your whole upbringing, all of society tries very hard to teach us that monogamous relationships are the end-all-be-all

And yet, humans are naturally non-monogamous.

 

23 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

Just remember; doing this doesn't mean you love your husband less or he loves you less.

You are giving one another a wonderful gift.

Edited July 16, 2023 by couplers

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

On 7/12/2023 at 10:20 PM, ExploringOptions said:

I really can’t wait to write that we did and not be terrified anymore. 

So excited for all of you. I suggest you document the First Time so you can relive the occasion and the memory. 
Did it go the way you wanted or were you surprised? 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Sounds like things ended up going okay (lol). Welcome to the club and I'm sure that you will be receiving your "swingers" T shirts in the mail soon. Can't wait to hear the entire story...

[ExploringOptions 185]

2 hours ago, GoldCoCouple said:

Sounds like things ended up going okay (lol). Welcome to the club and I'm sure that you will be receiving your "swingers" T shirts in the mail soon. Can't wait to hear the entire story...

Yeah it was okay lol. We could not have a found a more fun married couple to do this together. The first time we met them we were four dazed and confused souls knowing what we wanted and yes we were all terrified try to see how we could do it. Instead of rushing into things they suggested a date where we could get to know and we did get to know two people that will be friends we will want to see over and over. Our laughs, sense of humor, take on like are so alike. 
We said that their profile picture caught our attention while we were being advised that compatibility is more important. The second time we met we looked at people not bodies. I thanked her her Friday for helping with my fears, she answered she has to get over her own fears too. 
The real important thing was she told me that she may say Stop and would respect my Stop. Then she did her impression of I get to grab’em by the pussy. I laughed and said just don’t be that jerk. We all laughed at the impression. I laughed and said I’ll let her because all women will let you. 
She lived up to her word with so many laughs and jokes last night. Her grabbing by the pussy led me to say I’d grab hers and so it started. 
When do I get my tee? 

Edited July 17, 2023 by ExploringOptions

[cplnluv1 872]

9 hours ago, ExploringOptions said:

Yeah it was okay lol. We could not have a found a more fun married couple to do this together. The first time we met them we were four dazed and confused souls knowing what we wanted and yes we were all terrified try to see how we could do it. Instead of rushing into things they suggested a date where we could get to know and we did get to know two people that will be friends we will want to see over and over. Our laughs, sense of humor, take on like are so alike. 

Your post is giving me hope that real compatible people exist on line. You did everything that others say you should do, meet, get to know the others as they really are with no sexual expectation before making the plan to go forward. 
Your introduction to swinging is the loveliest one you can ask for, playful, funny with the ending and beginning you all were seeking. Wear you t shirt proudly. 

[zonaboy801 38]

Sounds like it went great!  Did you just play with your new female friend, or did you and her husband get together too?

[ExploringOptions 185]

6 hours ago, zonaboy801 said:

Sounds like it went great!  Did you just play with your new female friend, or did you and her husband get together too?

We all enjoyed our evening 

[ExploringOptions 185]

On 7/15/2023 at 8:22 AM, bbarnsworth said:

Don't be surprised if you're still terrified after the date that gets things going physically. It took some time for my wife and I to feel like doing this was 'normal'. Not that we didn't want it to be exciting, but that we felt comfortable enough to be at ease. It's all new. This is normal.

 

Just remember; doing this doesn't mean you love your husband less or he loves you less. Rather the opposite! You are both enjoying an incredible new experience that you couldn't be doing if you didn't love each other so much. You have probably already felt that these first few steps on this journey together has already brought you closer. Swinging, in a couple that is already in love, usually magnifies that love. Seems paradoxical but it is true.

 

I hope you have a wonderful time tonight! Let us know how it goes!

Thanks for all the advice and nice thoughts that registered with us when we met our new besties. 
I never thought my husband would love me less if we joined a swinging site, I thought it meant he loved me more and I loved him more than ever. 
Everyone says that looks don’t count, it did and does for us. When looking I looked for what I called hot looking wives before looking at hot husbands. My husband said about a choice I found that the husband is not good enough, all based on looks. We agreed we wanted to meet the best out there. Unlike many men on here my husband is not showing me off or even has the big desire to watch me. I’ll take that back, he watched the first part of the night. All done in fun I stopped things just as they got sexually started with two horny husbands watching two wild women. I wanted to watch me too. We all agreed to chronicle as one poster suggested by letting the men use their phones to record the fun of those wild women. I wish they recorded the very first laugh we had. I say I was seduced by the best seducer we could have found. It is said every woman remembers her first, this first is much more memorable for me. I watched the video, I will say it was more fun when it happened. Watching yourself is like listening to yourself, hard to believe it’s you. 
The proof things went well is that the day after, today the funny texts went on all day between me and my “bi lover” lol. She asked if I am still looking for others, she volunteered to search together then added only if we can all meet. 
 

[cplnluv1 872]

Enjoy what you have, no reason to rush to find others. As exciting as new partners are you have plenty of time to explore. We are now enjoying a small group that truly enjoys being together. 

[AdamGunn2 398]

11 hours ago, ExploringOptions said:

I watched the video, I will say it was more fun when it happened.

 

These words of yours struck me. Whether it was watching my wife in the throes of passion with another man, or both of us in a foursome swap or orgy, the memories are but a pale comparison of actually being there and watching and performing sexual acts with other happy humans.

[MidLifeFun 147]

Who wasn’t nervous the first time? I wondered how I would perform or if I would be compared to others our friends were with. 
We recently were with first timers where the pressure was on to make sure they weren’t terrified. We found out just because they were not swingers they new plenty about sex. Their teacher? Pornhub! 
It is nice to read positive posts where husbands are not asking how do I get my wife to do things.