What are Your Reasons for Swinging?

[sexychinese 15]

The first time for us was a swingers club in which we paired with a good couple who only wanted oral and playing.....so s good way to start and raise the curiosity

[tankman101 15]

1. Who initiated the conversation?

 

My wife (tira)

 

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?

 

Basically, sexual exploration. Before we got married, I had several other relationships but I was the first my wife had ever been with.

 

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)

 

Yes

 

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?

 

I blew my stack. I didn't really understand why she would suggest that. I didn't really know anything about swinging. We have been happily married for 15 years with 3 kids and an active sex life. I am very sexually driven and fairly open minded and once talked about it and I researched it, I understood what it was actually about.

I had to face some very ugly parts of myself. Over the 15 years my sexual self confidence had eroded away and I was scared of everything, being to over weight, to old, penis to small (one doesn't whip out his fully working equipment in front of other people very often lol), jealousy and really just about every other crazy insecurity you could think of.

 

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)

 

Full swing with another couple we have known for awhile and are good friends. We found out about them being swingers after we initially talked about it. We were very lucky to have friends who were already into swinging that we were able to approach.

 

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?

 

After all of my worrying, we had a wonderful time. It felt completely natural and comfortable. We were both shocked in a way that there was no resulting conflict, jealousy, moral torment or really anything else just raw love for each other. We were very lucky that we had some great friends to share this with.

 

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?

 

We talk about everything together. Neither one of us really makes any final decissions.

 

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?

 

Our relationship is closer then ever before. After 15 years we are like to dating teenagers again. Our sex life, although good before, has gotten incredible. I actually need to ask for days off.

Everything I worried about disappeared in an instant. My sexual confidence has returned and our relationship is stronger then ever.

The couple we started with are still friends. Some weekends we get together with the kids, (theirs and ours make 6 total, talk about chaos) some weekends with other vanilla friends and some are for the four of us.

We are very lucky.

[northgacpl 16]

I don't know if I can really answer those questions, as the whole thing just kinda happened...

 

Prior to our first time we had watched porn together here and there, but that was it. Then one night, while in the military, another guy was over at our house and we got along really well with him. He had been over several times before. After a long night of drinking and just having lots of fun things just kinda happened.

 

She really enjoyed it, and after leaving the military, we talked about it again a few years later...Tried first meeting couples, just one thing after another and it didn't seem to be going anywhere, so we started looking for singles and met this great guy that we played with for a few years. Then we all moved on different directions, and a few years later she's really got this thing for black men now, so we've played with one a few times.

 

Maybe we're not considered 'full blown swingers' so our experience/reason is a lot different...

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

Maybe we're not considered 'full blown swingers' so our experience/reason is a lot different...

 

I don't think there's any scoring system here If you feel you're swingers, you are. Certainly sounds to me like you are!

[Hotwallabies 90]

Our reasons for exploring swinging are as follows:

 

 

1. Sex is good and fun. We figured if sexis good and fun with us surely it could be just as fun or more with a few more people involved.

 

2. Swinging is a reasonably safe way to explore our fantasies toghether/

 

3. Swinging was the best way we could figure for my wife to be able to explore her bi-sexuality.

 

4. We feel like being open and honest with our sexual needs and desires and finding out good ways to get those needs and desires met for both of us is important in our relatonship and swinging helps us to achieve this in our marriage.

 

5. Swinging is something for us to explore and do together which is completely and uniquely ours. Once you become parents you forfeit almost everything which is yours to do jsut toghether. Swinging gives us a time which is a "secret" just for us. This secret is so fun to share between just us and nobody else. This secret binds us in a way we never expected.

 

6. We grew up in a super religious setting which repressed our sexuality and swinging gives us an outlet for exploring sexuality for ourselves instead of having someone do the thinking about our sexuality for us.

 

 

There are probably many other reasons I could list if we both thought about it for awhile but these are probably the biggest reasons for us.

[Chitowndk4u 32]

1. Who initiated the conversation? I did.

 

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing? Because I have an open mind and liberated attitude towards sex and I have always had the attitude of a swinger as I thought it was hot and a cool lifestyle to live.

 

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his) Yes as far as I know they were honest, but I admit it is a fantasy of mine to be totally free and open.

 

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o? Her usual stance of no we can't do that, but then when she has a threesome away from me (that she is ashamed about, but I am not honestly), we met a couple and hit it off with them and had a nice swap and she feels bad about it now, but I think it's more because she enjoyed it and her religious upbringing tells her (or she thinks it tells her) that she shouldn't enjoy those things.

 

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf) FMF threesome on my 29th birthday.

 

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards? Me: Cool, Her: Cool then years later shame from her.

 

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle? We don't. We don't participate anymore (although I would like to)

 

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed? Mine haven't, hers has due to religious guilt tripping.

[couplers 4,640]

1. Who initiated the conversation ?

 

I did, (male), during the very beginning of our relationship to see her reaction. She was not shocked or nauseated but interested in finding out more details. It took a couple of years to do anything and the first few encounters were not too good because I was trying to relive a past lifestyle instead of creating a new one.

 

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?

Mutual sexual exploration to expand our experiences and have really unusual and fun memories and fantasy fulfillment.

 

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)

It was a mutual fantasy. She had planned on keeping it in the fantasy land but after considerable discussion decided to make fantasy a reality.

 

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?

Apprehensive, but wanting more information.

 

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?

We both enjoyed our first MMF but had problems when other females came into the pic. Other females are still on a very limited basis.

 

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?

I let her control it basically. She goes slower than I do so I would be pushy if I pressured for more activity. I don't mind the infrequency of our playtime though. Its still fun even if you do it once or twice a year.

 

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?

I have learned a lot about my s/o. Discussing sharing such intimacy forced us to really discuss issues such as trust and honesty. I have never trusted anyone as much as I do Tam. She says she feels the same about me. I honestly feel that swinging has been an asset to our communication skills and opened doors that would have never been seen without it. We also learned a lot about each others limits, pleasures, fantasies, as well as love making preferences. John.

[Trace Ekies 186]

1. Who initiated the conversation?

Mr. Ekies.

 

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?

Sounds like fun.

 

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)

Yes

 

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?

Hmmm...That does sound like fun.

 

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)

Full swap with four other people.

 

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?

We were both excited but wanted to be sure the other was as well

so we eased into a conversation about our feelings and found out we felt

the same.

 

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?

It a group effort. Pun intended

 

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?

The most startling thing we learned is how hard it is to find four people

who want to have sex together.

 

Now we find ourselves meeting people and making friends and occasionally taking them to bed with us. It's been an awesome journey so far with no foreseeable end that we thank each other for.

[crazinred 36]

1. Who initiated the conversation?

Male half many different time through the years.

 

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?

A way to keep us together. Best friends but not best sex play mates.

 

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)

Her sex drive far exceeded my sexual ability (even before the ED)so this way we could both have all the sex we wanted.

 

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?

She couldn't believe I would be ok with her being with other men.

 

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)

Threesome at a swinger club with a single male.

 

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?

Had a great time couldn't wait to do it again.

 

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?

Pretty much takes is as it goes. Mostly play at a local club and only real rule is we play together.

 

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?

She has a much better attitude about her self I am much more comfortable around our new friends. Can't believe it took so long(17 years) to get started in this lifestyle.

[realcplub2 513]

1. Who initiated the conversation? (Bob) Mr Real did

 

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing? When we first got together we slowly shared what we loved about sex, and started sharing our fantasies.. Having known about the swinging lifestyle prior to getting together, it was a natural fit, to satisfy those fantasies. Thus our Adventure began

 

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his) In our case after those long an totally hot fantasy sharing sessions, it was a mutual thing..

 

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o? At first she was like, No..No way.. and over time, and again being open and honest with her, and explaining that knowing her desires, is the fastest way to satisfying them. I never judged her, or her desires.. and still don't just as she doenst judge mine.

 

 

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf) In our case, we started out with MFM, spent the evening enjoying that so totally, she literally passed out from orgasming

 

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards? I was exhilarated, She was a little worried/guilty feeling, and again the talk afterwards was just as the talk before. I explained that, I was fine with it, she enjoyed herself, and I loved it because I loved seeing her enjoy it. And I did, and enjoyed when we shared her afterglow..

 

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle? In our case, I am the first line in the searching/interviewing process. Which can be both good and bad, I have held great conversations with prospective playmates, and had it all go south when they go from hello to filthy is under two minutes. She doesn't mind it when a conversation "DRIFTS" there, but is completely turned off when it slams right into it.

 

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed? Our few misgivings are, the people we fell out of touch with, since we came south. How have our attitudes changed.. In a nutshell, we are a bit more cautious than we were before, We are looking for regular playmates rather than the quick one night friends. nothing wrong with it, just not what we are all about now... we want people we can enjoy a evening with, and enjoy over and over again..

[BICPLNRH777 16]

1. Who initiated the conversation? typically I do since he works all the time.

 

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing? mostly out of curiosity, i wanted to see him with other women and guys, and we wanted to just add spice.

 

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his) well i have qutie the low self esteem about myself and therefore i dont give it up to him very often, so in my mind, it was in part giving him what he needs from a woman...so allowing him to be with other women fixed his needs and i got to also be apart.

 

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o? he was a lil shocked, but excited at the same time.

 

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf) first experience was MMF...then led to 4somes...soft swing only...but we are entertaining the idea of full hard on swap

 

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards? it was a bit exciting and what a turn on. i felt a bit weird just because i'd never seen him with a guy, but was still thrilled by the whole thing. his reactions were about the same i think.

 

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle? well between each other our lifestyle is equally controled

 

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed? attitudes havent changed, well not that i can tell anyway.