Davdia 119 Posted October 12, 2023 On 10/6/2023 at 4:56 PM, NerdsAreFun said: So our last threesome.the guy went for anal even though he was told beforehand that it was not on the table. I also didn't know he went for that as I couldn't see from my position. She revealed after it was pretty traumatizing/painful but was scared to speak up about it. I hate to be always suspicious, unfortunately I’m usually right. I personally have anal sex occasionally with my wife, always plenty of foreplay and lots of lube. If I were to surprise her by sticking it in her ass unexpectedly, she would jump out of her skin and squeal like a little pig. Her ass not lubed up and ready …….it’s more than painful, it’s like being stabbed! Haven’t you ever seen a “oops wrong hole” video. Letting it happen right in front of you without so much as a noise………screams knew it was coming to me. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Davdia 119 Posted October 12, 2023 On 10/6/2023 at 4:56 PM, NerdsAreFun said: So our last threesome.the guy went for anal even though he was told beforehand that it was not on the table. I also didn't know he went for that as I couldn't see from my position. She revealed after it was pretty traumatizing/painful but was scared to speak up about it. She pretty much felt anally raped. That event has put a chill over any new hookups for the near future. Let’s say for the sake of argument your wife didn’t know that she was going to be anally penetrated. That’s way worse. Last I knew in all 50 states rape is illegal. Your wife said in advance anal sex was off the table, he went for it anyway…..I.e. rape. No wiggle room! Swinging doesn’t make rape any less illegal. So instead of doing anything about it, you and your group just kick him out of your play group??? So, curious how your group is going to feel when you find out that he anal rapes someone’s daughter or wife next. If someone rapes your wife you shouldn’t just shrug it off as though it’s expected if you want to swing. I hope this was a fake post. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
HerSweetness 141 Posted October 14, 2023 Hate to be a skeptic, but this seems really fake and based on the OP’s replies, seems to me it was posted just for their own amusement. I could be wrong though. 8 Quote Share this post Link to post
NerdsAreFun 229 Posted October 16, 2023 On 10/12/2023 at 8:52 AM, Davdia said: Let’s say for the sake of argument your wife didn’t know that she was going to be anally penetrated. That’s way worse. Last I knew in all 50 states rape is illegal. Your wife said in advance anal sex was off the table, he went for it anyway…..I.e. rape. No wiggle room! Swinging doesn’t make rape any less illegal. So instead of doing anything about it, you and your group just kick him out of your play group??? So, curious how your group is going to feel when you find out that he anal rapes someone’s daughter or wife next. If someone rapes your wife you shouldn’t just shrug it off as though it’s expected if you want to swing. I hope this was a fake post. No, she is pretty well traumatized and does not want to play with anyone else for the foreseeable future because of what he did. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Numex 2,459 Posted October 18, 2023 Quite frankly, I don't see having another guy sticking his dick in my wife's shit hole as anything special, whether she lets me do it or not. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
Davdia 119 Posted October 19, 2023 On 10/17/2023 at 10:53 PM, Numex said: Quite frankly, I don't see having another guy sticking his dick in my wife's shit hole as anything special, whether she lets me do it or not. So you honestly wouldn’t have a problem with your wife making the decision to give someone else something you really wanted but she denies you?? Congratulations your in the one percentile, ridiculously commenting to the other 99 percent! Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,718 Posted October 19, 2023 Whatever her reasons should be good enough for him. Maybe his dick is too fat for her to enjoy herself and she's looking for a skinny one. Quote Share this post Link to post
WhatIsItNow 2 Posted October 19, 2023 6 hours ago, Davdia said: So you honestly wouldn’t have a problem with your wife making the decision to give someone else something you really wanted but she denies you?? Congratulations your in the one percentile, ridiculously commenting to the other 99 percent! I certainly did Quote Share this post Link to post
zerus 3 Posted October 20, 2023 What's wrong if the reality of MMF sex for your woman exceeds all her expectations and she is in the mood to expand her limits? When you invite another man to your bed, you must be ready that not everything will go according to your plan! He can turn out to be a more skilled lover with a bigger dick that will drive your woman crazy! And that’s OK! Of course, unless your original idea of MMF sex was to give double the pleasure to your woman and expand the horizons of both of you! You should be happy for your wife! If I were you I would not sit in the forum but use the door opened by your neighbor!😃 Instead of that, you are complaining like the neighbor wouldn’t have fucked your wife's ass with her consent, but you yours without asking you! 3 Quote Share this post Link to post
lovefest04 701 Posted October 20, 2023 On 10/16/2023 at 2:12 PM, NerdsAreFun said: No, she is pretty well traumatized and does not want to play with anyone else for the foreseeable future because of what he did. This is, in my mind, the real issue. If this is a true post. Then I'd be focused on my wife and how she can process what happened. I would not be worried about my shattered dream of being her first anal fuck. She needs and deserves support, love, caring and time to work through her tramma. I wouldn't want to make it worse by piling on judgement and my hurt feelings. On 10/12/2023 at 5:52 AM, Davdia said: Your wife said in advance anal sex was off the table, he went for it anyway…..I.e. rape. I seldom agree with Davdia, but he's got a point. Not sure reporting it as rape would be a positive experience for the victim. The reality of how that would play out, well I'd avoid that. BUT...if she feels this traumatized, and even defines it as a rape, then you her loving husband needs to be there for HER. See above. There is also a lot of questions about how it could happen and I would try to figure out the truth behind the act itself. I'd tread lightly as there are a lot of landmines. Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,718 Posted October 21, 2023 On 10/14/2023 at 7:43 AM, HerSweetness said: this seems really fake and based on the OP’s replies, seems to me it was posted just for their own amusement. True, but it has instigated a lively discussion. That seems to be the case for a certain percentage of threads started, but I go along, treating them as hypotheticals. Quote Share this post Link to post
Davdia 119 Posted October 21, 2023 21 hours ago, lovefest04 said: I seldom agree with Davdia, but he's got a point. Not sure reporting it as rape would be a positive experience for the victim. Rape is never a positive experience, not reporting it is the very reason guys are not afraid to rape women in this lifestyle. Forget her experience, she has a responsibility to protect others from this kind of abuse. Would you witness a rape anywhere else and just walk away? By this logic women should not report rape, especially if they are planning to have sex and it gets out of hand. Maybe I’m just old fashioned. Quote Share this post Link to post
Numex 2,459 Posted October 21, 2023 On 10/19/2023 at 1:30 AM, Davdia said: So you honestly wouldn’t have a problem with your wife making the decision to give someone else something you really wanted but she denies you?? Congratulations your in the one percentile, ridiculously commenting to the other 99 percent! Perhaps I am a one percenter, but that's me. When my wife is playing alone with a woman, couple or another man I don't know what she is doing. My only hope is that she is enjoying herself. As for me, another wife in our group and I have gone off on trips alone. Both Daniela and her husband are fine with it. What do we do? Have sex, yes, but we go off to engage in vanilla activities that our spouses have no interest in. The whole fun thing about swinging is the difference between what you do with others and what you do at home. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Davdia 119 Posted October 22, 2023 11 hours ago, Numex said: Perhaps I am a one percenter, but that's me. When my wife is playing alone with a woman, couple or another man I don't know what she is doing. My only hope is that she is enjoying herself. I personally believe that there is a huge difference in not caring what your spouse is doing with others and her specifically saying she doesn’t want to do something sexually with you then doing it with someone else right in front of you without even an explanation? Again I’m not buying into the argument that this wouldn’t hurt your feelings or your relationship, I’m calling bullshit! 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Numex 2,459 Posted October 25, 2023 On 10/22/2023 at 2:44 AM, Davdia said: she doesn’t want to do something sexually with you then doing it with someone else right in front of you.... I’m not buying into the argument that this wouldn’t hurt your feelings or your relationship You and I just live in different universes. I see it as something she wants to do with someone, but not someone else, i.e. me. For whatever reason, it's ok. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Davdia 119 Posted October 26, 2023 14 hours ago, Numex said: You and I just live in different universes. I see it as something she wants to do with someone, but not someone else, i.e. me. For sure, completely different universes, you may see this as a strength, I however, sincerely hope that I never become happy with my wife seeing me is as just someone else. I also hope that I never become so complacent in a relationship of mine, that I don’t concern myself with my spouses feelings when deciding what sex act to save for her, or just give away to anybody. Yes we are definitely live differently. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Billygoat 445 Posted October 27, 2023 If nothing else this topic proves without a doubt the diversity of physical/emotional differences from one person/couple to the next. Regardless of being in the swing/ENM/Kink lifestyle. Everyone has their personal acceptances/expectations/limits and they are/will always very from one to another. For most these will change and very over time, length of time spent and experiences in their chosen lifestyle. The only real hard and fast rule and it applies equally to each individual, consent, no means no and is universal, in and out of the lifestyle. In defense of women (some men as well) in general not all are able to be direct, tend to be more submissive, are not confident or vocal for does, don’ts, stop etc. I have had many experiences with women play partners, mostly first time play where I ask about do and don’ts and not get much more than a shrug or murmured “I don’t know”. I have experience and in many cases avoided situations where the husband/boyfriend seemed quite controlling for the most part of her do and don’ts then what he would follow himself……to “just show her a great time, what ever you want”. Sex play by assumption is also not advised. I think in the end you have to judge for yourself, individually where your acceptances and what you are not. If you are with someone, or committed relationship you have to have a discussion between you both of your personal acceptances and that which is not. And do be aware that there will be situations where in the heat of the moment something happens….how this will be discussed and reconciled. It’s adult activity……requires some reasonable level of adulting…..without threats. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post
Anon321 524 Posted December 10, 2023 On 10/27/2023 at 7:04 AM, Billygoat said: If nothing else this topic proves without a doubt the diversity of physical/emotional differences from one person/couple to the next. Regardless of being in the swing/ENM/Kink lifestyle. Everyone has their personal acceptances/expectations/limits and they are/will always very from one to another. For most these will change and very over time, length of time spent and experiences in their chosen lifestyle. The only real hard and fast rule and it applies equally to each individual, consent, no means no and is universal, in and out of the lifestyle. In defense of women (some men as well) in general not all are able to be direct, tend to be more submissive, are not confident or vocal for does, don’ts, stop etc. I have had many experiences with women play partners, mostly first time play where I ask about do and don’ts and not get much more than a shrug or murmured “I don’t know”. I have experience and in many cases avoided situations where the husband/boyfriend seemed quite controlling for the most part of her do and don’ts then what he would follow himself……to “just show her a great time, what ever you want”. Sex play by assumption is also not advised. I think in the end you have to judge for yourself, individually where your acceptances and what you are not. If you are with someone, or committed relationship you have to have a discussion between you both of your personal acceptances and that which is not. And do be aware that there will be situations where in the heat of the moment something happens….how this will be discussed and reconciled. It’s adult activity……requires some reasonable level of adulting…..without threats. I agree that some women, especially submissive ones like my GF are less likely to set the ground rules and limits before play. I think this can be confusing for a lot of people and can result in a few different outcomes; some good and some bad. But that can also be why sometimes the husband/ boyfriend might be more controlling about her dos and don'ts - because she won't speak up for herself. I've been on that side of it on occasion where a guy asks or is hinting for something and I am left giving the green light. Most of the time it's not a big deal as I've become used to it from time to time. I've never really felt uncomfortable if I'm in the room and seeing another guy fuck my GF because even if there is no safe word or anything I can always just ask my GF if everything is OK, and if it's not, I can stop it. It's when I'm not around and she's with someone else that I worry more often because she isn't vocal about any limits beforehand and I'm not there to ask if she is OK or stop the action. I always tell her to have a safe word. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
mtlcpl771 0 Posted February 16 Hi, there are too many finer details missing from this scenario. In the moment acts can be very surprising what someone will do. Just from the first part of we were buzzed and decided… How buzzed is buzzed? Just going from not having done this in the past to being buzzed enough to call a neighbor and getting things going is quite the buzz. And then from seeing her rhythm change. Was he already prepping the way while she was going down in you? Clearly he didn’t go all out in the first push. So when deciding in the moment to experiment with a powerful enough buzz, new things may very well happen. Quote Share this post Link to post