Do you continue to be friends with swing partners after your swinging ends?

[njbm 2,868]

We mostly swap with other couples. After 1,2 or 3 meetings, we realize: 1. It’s no longer novel and it is in fact routine and formulaic; 2. One or both of us are not that attracted to the other partner or couple; 3. One or both of us are not thrilled or compatible with the sexual abilities of our swing partner. 
 

However, in many cases, we like the other couple as friends and we would like to keep them as friends. However, we note that once we stop the sexual relationship, the other couple rarely wants to remain friends. We’re not naive and we realize no one wants to be rejected. But it is a hard trick to pull off. Sort of like staying friends with an ex. 
 

What are other people’s experiences?

[lcmim 1,081]

When dynamics change so do relationships.

It is the same when the friends divorce, or one of them dies.

In the LS it is a matter, I believe, of how much sex was the driving force. We have had it go both ways.

 

The friendships change, but with some effort can be maintained as something different.Sometimes for the better.

 

In our family , one of our children married one of his group of friends They later divorced. The marriage was not healthy.

 

He is now with another of that group, who had been married to someone else of that same group. This group is probably 20 or so in number.

 

Now this group is still there. All of them are supportive to each other including the exes.

While the individual families are fairly traditional, in many ways including the children it is Tribal.

 

I marvel at it.

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Since we are looking for friends first and the benefits then follow, once the benefits taper off, we still have the friendship. Some couples, that we found were not a match for whatever reason, we don't stay in touch with (we'll answer if they reach out to us, but that doesn't happen often). Our 'principle' couple (the one we dated for years) has moved away, but we still email and talk even though getting together is a rarity any longer. I still need to break down and start the search for our next 'naughty best friends'...

[lcmim 1,081]

Part of this may stem from meeting these friends inside of some LS venue.

I sometimes wonder if having the sexual part enter into it too early can be a problem.

 

If there were some well established commonality before things became sexual it might be different. This plays out in the Vanilla world as well.

Consider the "one night stand" as opposed to a couple that starts dating after having been acquaintances , then friends who eventually become lovers. My sons community that I mentioned earlier is an example.

 

 

[WesternSwing 504]

I have. My wife and I are best friends with two couples that my ex-wife and I used to swing with almost 20 years ago, and I recently reunited with the first couple my ex and I ever swung with. My wife and I are currently playing with the husband of a couple my ex and I used to swing with, however we do not swing with any of the forementioned couples. We've decided to keep those relationships vanilla for the time being, and they're okay with that, also. 

[couplers 4,616]

After two years of hubby letting me keep my boyfriend/ex-fiance while he didn't play, I got over my jealousy and would approach acquaintances of mine from the gym, coffee shop, bookstore, from church even. We would date them together: take them to dinner, the theater, concerts, even on vacation with us (separate rooms), paying for everything and never expecting anything.

 

We would never come on to her, but create opportunities for her to take it further.  Some, having been given the opportunity, were willing to fuck hubby; but only a few let me watch or get involved.

 

Regardless of the outcome, there were no hard feeling or regrets by anyone and we still occasionally get together with all of the women. Two in particular who are married have socialized with us from time-to-time with their husbands. Both guys know of their wive's past with us and have brought it up. With one we've had vanilla discussions about things like travel. The other husband has asked for explicit details. (I think he wanted to confirm the kinky things his wife told him.)

 

We have not, however, played with any of them again. 

 

 

 

Edited October 15, 2023 by couplers