Do you help friends and family members with setups?

[Pklon 62]

Not sure how to explain this, but I do the best I can.

 

This past weekend, a good friend of my parents who they swing with for years and 1 of my first swingers partners came over to my place and ask me to help me out with something.  His son wants to try the lifestyle. And he asks me if I and my bff can give him his first 3some. I didn’t gave him an answer straight away, I told him I will think about it. 

His son is 30, recently divorce, no kids. I knew him. I used to babysat him when he was younger when his parents were at parties and that and when my family and invited his family for supper and that. I only seen him once in the last 15 years or so. Last time I saw him was on his wedding night from his ex 5 years ago.

He knew his parents were swingers but never felt it was for him at that point, from what the parents told me.

I don’t mind doing the favour. They helped me a lot in my early days of the lifestyle.

My parents helped me when I asked them if I could try swinging and let me “play” with their friends.

I know it’s somewhat embarrassing question to ask your parents and then your parents asking their friends if they want to “play” with their adult children. Same as your friend asking you to ask another friend for a “hook up”. 

I always consider my swingers friends as a second family and family help each others “within reason”. 

I am curious how often question like this get asked. 

 

Thanks for the reply

[let's do it again 414]

I have never been asked to do this, but I would depending on who this person was to  me. I think that trying the lifestyle, getting help from someone that you can trust makes a lot of difference. I would do it to see what kind of sex they are into and how much of a freak they are.

[TnA83 306]

When matchmaking, one has to interview the client, to see which of your swing friends might be a match!

[WesternSwing 504]

I've never been asked this, but before I met my wife a younger man asked her if she would have sex with him. She used to babysit him when she was in her 20's. Now she was in her late 30's and him in his early 20's and he told her that he always had a crush on her and now that he was an adult was hoping that it was a possibility. She kept him around as a FWB for a while. I met him recently at a funeral for one of his family members. Nice guy. I can see why she kept him around for booty calls. 

 

So, she did "help him out" and it ended-up being pretty good.

[Juan234 18]

I grew up in the south where my mom’s female friends would get together and socialize weekly.  These women would be wearing their best and the beer drinkers would check me out and some would go as far as gasp and then sweet talk indirectly by flattering to my mom while I was still there.  Lots of her cute friends were extremely friendly and subtly flirtatious.  It mostly embarrassed me at the time. One in particular looked like Marylin Monroe and in contrast we had a strong platonic bond.  It was not until I reached their age that I think back and remember them as quite attractive.  I then started to get more unto the wave length and then fantasize about what it would have been like at the time to be with any one of them as a first time.  By the way, the film No Hard Feelings on Netflix covers a tiny bit about something that brushes on this topic, at least at first. 

[William2001 53]

Interesting topic... My wife and I met during a swinging party and were introduced to each other by a mutual friend. Basically I was told that Rose needed a man to look after her after a messy divorce and she was feeling a little sad and unhappy.

 

After we had a few 'Dates' with just each other Rose moved in with me for weekends... Which eventually led to us getting married.

[Anon321 521]

Definitely never helped any family members with setups in the lifestyle.  We always have single friends who always have someone they want to introduce us to though.

[ConfusedHubby 118]

In short, my answer is no.

 

I have a friend from High School that I used to be close to, then we grew apart and recently resumed a relationship with (albeit somewhat superficial).

 

Apparently he is in the LS and has had a number of experiences with his ex-wife.   He's asked me to help set him and his current GF up with some of our friends but I've resisted completely.  Who you refer is a reflection on you and, despite liking him, I know he and his GF are headcases, super jealous and a bit reckless.  

 

It would probably be fine, but my wife is temperamental about the LS as is and the last thing I want is to create issues with the friends we actually still have a relationship going with.

[couplers 4,615]

23 hours ago, William2001 said:

My wife and I met during a swinging party

This is wonderful and the way it should be.  No angst within a couple trying to decide whether and how to get into the lifestyle after years of marriage.  The marriage started properly non-monogamous.