Discrimination by employer towards our lifestyle

[stoco 15]

i recently resinged from my job due to what i feel was an unfair employer.

i was working for a county sheriffs office and was due for promotion when some of the other deputies started rumors about my wife and me and our lifestyle. we never involved any one we worked with and even tried to only meet people from outside the county. as far as we knew or secret was safe. after the sheriff heard the rumors he started an investigation and when it was all said and done the rumors were found to be not true. but when i was interviewed by the detective he asked me very personal and intimate questions into my sexlife with my wife, to include if we video taped ourselves and what would be found on a video tape of ours. i felt that that was private and personal information and refused to give an answer.

 

due to that i was demoted, my pay cut over and beyond what i was payed prior to my promotion to corporal, loss of training, and put on probation for 6 months. i felt that i had no choise but to resign, knowing that i would be forced out as soon as the chance came up.

 

i contacted several attorneys and was told that nothing could be done, because i work in an at will employment state.

 

i dont feel that my lifestyle or my relationship with my wife should be my bosses business. nothing had ever happend while i was on duty and no laws were violated.

 

if anyone can help or know how to deal with this please let me know. im going crazy just knowing that i lost my job and that guy is still in office violating peoples rights to thier private lives.

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

Don't think I can offer any other help . . I would have suggested a lawyer but you have already done that. Other than looking futher to another lawyer (sort of a second opinion) or checking with some fair labor relations organization. I don't know.

 

I agree totally with you though what we do in our home and our bedroom is no ones business and really has no bearing on how well I can perform my job.

 

Good luck to you and if you do find a way to file against them at all I'm sure besides me others would like to know the out come.

 

Mrs Spoomonkey

[eroticsensation 17]

that is pretty damn bad!

look for a GOOD lawyer.

[jsnps 45]

As long as their is no impropriety on the job, what is done in your private life is simply that, private. They have no legal right to demote you, cut your pay or force you out without your ability to claim harrassment. I would check into another lawyer or many until I at least got a general concensus that may case was not going to stand a chance. I would then talk to some organizations that help with harrassment such as the civil liberties union.

 

I think I would see what chance you have of winning the case, first and foremost. I'd also start looking for a new job - even if you could go back, why would you want to? That seems like a horrible environment to be in.

 

Either way, no matter what you do, best of luck.

 

Mrs. JP

[NotSoSure 15]

Ok...here's my $.02. I am not an atourney, but I do know a few things. I believe what your atourney said is correct. Because you "voluntarily" quit, you technically have no grounds to sue. If your employment had been involuntraily terminated (ie. fired) you would definately have grounds. I know hind sight is 20/20, but what you should have done is hired an atourney while you were still working for the sherrifs department. Because of federal laws, they could not fire you while there is pending litigation (except for neglegence), and you could have sued them for discrimination for demoting you without grounds. As far as I know, this is still america, and preference of sexual activity is not grounds for demotion or firing.

 

That being said, Keep in mind this is still america. You can sue for anything. Sometimes event he threat of litigation will get them to cave. Even if you don't want back in the job, you could get some money out of this. Personally, I think you've got a pretty good civil rights case on your hand. Talk to a better lawyer, this guy sounds lazy, because civil rights cases are always long and drawn out. Also consider contacting the ACLU...I'm sure they'd be interested in this. Finally, I'm sure there are some news agencies out there that would definately be intersted in this (if you don't mind being outed). Maybe even at the national level like dateline or 20/20. I know they have done stories on the lifestyle before. The key here is to put pressure on them...sometimes that's enough even if you don't technically have a strong lawsuit. But I definately think ACLU may be the way to go here. Check out their website. Sorry for the length, but this outrages me too. Hates government imposing on people's private lives. Fight Back Bro!

[2New2it 19]

The missing and very relevant link here is the reason they gave for your demotion and probation. Refusal to answer personal questions is by itself not a valid reason for diciplinary action. That said, your resignation was voluntary and will be difficult to fight without you being prepared to open your entire lifestyle to the world. Your choice.

[djjwp 129]

Dito Well, liable will not work because you are in the lifestyle and his "rumors" are fact, not fiction.

 

The only case I see is demotion w/o cause. That could justify your resignation as you would not have resigned had they not demoted you. They were the cause and you enacted the effect by resigning.

 

Get a good ,(God I can't beleive one exists!) laywer and go after them if you have the will. I know I would but I don't care what others think of me as I have no shame in what we do, it's our life.

 

I too would get the ACLU to look at this as well, better they spend their time on this which matters than removing crosses from city seals.

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Because you "voluntarily" quit, you technically have no grounds to sue. If your employment had been involuntraily terminated (ie. fired) you would definately have grounds.

 

I'm not a lawyer either, so I'm not saying this is the gospel, but, as someone who used to train managers on HR issues, you can voluntarily quit a position and still sue AND WIN if you can prove that they in fact "forced" you to quit by providing a hostile work environment, etc. If you have your performance appraisals and any other "atta boy" information and information from co-workers stating that you have always done a good job, etc., and there's been no reprimands for your perfomance, I'd say you have a pretty good case. If a reasonable person could assume from the picture you paint that you were fired only because of your participation in the lifestyle, it could go your way. True, you would have to expose a lot of your personal life to do it. You just have to decide if it's worth it.

[VegasLee 1,486]

i contacted several attorneys and was told that nothing could be done, because i work in an at will employment state.

 

Before I retired from my "real job" I had to deal with 1000's of employees in a few states.

 

One thing about a "right to work or at will employment state" was that I could fire someone if I just did not like the way they looked at me. I could demote them for the same thing. I really did not have to have a reason for my actions in those states.

 

I ended up in court many times because of this but my right to fire in those states always held up in court.

 

If he really does life in an "at will employment" state, then there will not be much to sue over here.

 

Quiting also does not help in many cases but not all the time.

 

It sucks what happened to you but until people are willing to come out of the closet and fight things like this it is going to happen.

[HotMama 15]

Long time lurker, first time poster.

 

Lee hit the nail on the head....At least in PA, you can fire someone if you find out he is an Eagles fan, and you are a Steelers fan...END OF STORY.

 

So when I see "Why don't people stop hiding" "Why is the males face not shown on the profile" threads... Most people that are either too ignorant to have a clue about discression, or don't care what people think of them... Thats great......

 

We also don't care what Larry, the neighbor, or Dan the garbageman think of US... HOWEVER we do care what my husbands employer thinks of him......

Puts bread on our table, a roof over our heads, and two very nice cars in the garage.... You think we are going to risk that to prove to "hardcore swingers" that we have nothing to prove....? Dream on.

 

Maybe everyone should learn from this and be a bit more hush hush about it.

 

Some rules we follow are:

1) No face pics.

2) No mixing friends. (Vanillia and Swingers)

3) No emailed pics.

4) No phone #'s given out before we know you are not crazy and have the same level of discretion that we do.

5) We have designated email addy for this.

6) We only meet people for the first time @ meet and greets.

7) keep the personal info down to a minimum (ie. how many kids, what you drive, location..ect ect) at first.

 

Even if you do not live in a "right to hire" state.... I am sure once you are on the bosses radar, he will find something work related to get rid of you.

 

Chances of you winning a case like that are sliim to none. Keep your private lifes PRIVATE.

[Dave_kat 227]

Gosh, and we thought we had it hard. For those of us in the Military, it's the same as this. The Uniform Code of Military Justice can be used against a person if they have sex in anything other than the Missionary Position. Does it happen? No, but we have seen several soldier's end up getting punished for adultery or other things.

 

Good luck to you. Only thing we can ever say is deny everything when/if anyone asks.

[betty1213 15]

hi: wanted to add my $0.02 here. I agree Dito with most of what has been said. But we also live in an "AT Will State". I am not a lawyer but am a manager and recently learned that "At Will" only applies if you have no other policies goverining disciplinary action.

 

So in addition to finding a different lawyer I would also suggest getting a copy of your policy manual as if your previous employers have written policies which show proof of a disciplinary process you cannot be let go at will. I also agree that you can sue for being forced to quit due to hostile working conditions. Sometimes you need to find a lawyer out of the area if you worked for a large organization or a government type.

 

Good Luck to you!

[jcbicouple 24]

Dito to VegasLee, Hotmama and some of the others. Probably not much legal ground to stand on. Being on the employer side of things in an employ at will state, we deal with the legal side of this issue on occasion. Firing someone for a behaviour (I.E. swinging) is not considered discrimination in most cases. Actually, if either of us is ever found out by our employer, we would expect that our employment would be terminated, or at the very least would lose any chance of further advancement. We've heard all of the arguments....get another job, it's none of their business, etc. However, we both knew about the morals clause at our respective employers when we accepted the positions we are in. We chose to accept that based on the security and financial rewards that came with the job. Neither of those are things we'd be willing to give up. Honestly, we'd understand if we were fired for our lifestyle choices. Frankly, if one of our employees were swinging, and it caused a disruption at work, or was something that could cause a problem with a customer or the community in which our company is involved, we wouldn't hesitate to fire them. We may be called hypocritical by some for this position, but it wouldn't be the swinging that was the issue. It would be the disruption in the work place.

 

Let the bashing begin!

[DanBridget 15]

Ok... I think I am going to be one of the few that will help you. Being that I am a Firefighter, I will fall into almost the sames rules as the PD and SO. Alot of public service jobs such has, police, fire ems have what they call moral rules/laws. These sometime un written laws establish a precident that will allow a employer (town or county) to terminate, fire or demote anyone that they feel is not living a moral life. So if you live in a very religous town where the churchs tend to be a major power you will find that if you are involved in a life style or activity that is not excepted in the community you will get flack. Its just a simple thing of tring to make the community feel better. This example might be far from what you want.. Say you are in a dry town no drinking allowed and your known for drinking although its your choice your proving to the town you don't follow their rules. Not saying swing is wrong.. don't hit me with that everyone.

 

Now a way to fight this would be to come out clean and say eys we have swapped.. But if your state helps prevent gay/lesbain un fair termination then use that as a basis.

 

Second. Ask for a copy of all your reviews done while on the job. If you have had great reviews no problems and they can't explain to you why you were demoted then you should have a case.

 

But you mentioned you were a at will employee at the SO office. If so they can fire, demote etc with no good reason. Doesn't matter what the state says it matters what the department says unless they have written that the rules are the same as the state. You are entitled to a written release as well. Have you thought about a sueing the others employees for public defermation of character.

[rocketship 15]

definately get a lawyer

[lookin_forfun65 16]

Don't have much to add, but maybe contacting the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom? They might have some resources available, or be able to point you in a direction.

 

Best of luck to you.

[RW1F 15]

#1 Somehow I don't think we've gotten the full story.

 

#2 I can't help but smile when someone in law enforcement complains about getting their rights trampled on. Now ya know how we feel when we get stopped at a DUI checkpoint and have a flashlight shined in our eyes while being interogated about "have you had anything to drink tonight!".

 

#3 If you have given us a full and accurate description of the reason you were demoted (your personal sex life) I'd say contact as many attorneys as you can until one of em will fight for you. If nothing else you at least have a federal case (which supersedes state law) for discrimination.

[DanBridget 15]

You know.. I hope every thing is going better. or at least you are getting some head way. But I was a little mad about the prior post stating I am glad to hear when Law Enforcement complians about their rights being trampled. Now you know how we feel about DUI checkpoints. I hate to bust your bubble but, this problem is a totally different beast. The so called DUI checkpoints most times are set up to help stop run aways, kidnappings, or other criminals that might think they can get by. I don't see how the checkpoint violates any of your or mine rights. But work place discrimination is something that no one should have. You know both Law Enforcement and Fire Service are two jobs that most ppl over look, or have the most problems with becuase they prevent you and others from doing illegal things. WE put our lives on the line or low pay, so you can sleep good at night, not die in some car accident( when we can), help you when robbed, or your stuff was broken into. We are great ppl when we are helping you, but lord knows what happens when we/they have to stop you from speeding on the interstate at 100 MPH. We are over worked and under paid, and to see this kind of discrimination of a fellow law/fire brother makes me scared of what is going on.

 

I am sorry to everyone else... I am 99% of the time a kind, joky person and nice to be around. But this just burned me to much to let go. In the past week I have been hit, pushed, cused at, threatened and more becuase someone decided to light a candle and burned their trailor down, or was speeding and it was my fault that becuase of their speed the car is stuck and it has to be cut open with the jaws. Not becuase they decided not to drive un-safely and with no care for others... Well I am going to end it.. I am sorry Julie if I post against the forum in any way. And to the others you care for us, THANK YOU, becuase it you we are doing it for.

[HotMama 15]

We are over worked and under paid, and to see this kind of discrimination of a fellow law/fire brother makes me scared of what is going on.

 

Quit and find a new job if its that bad. There must be thousands of easier jobs that pay more around you ... right?

[RW1F 15]

DanBridget,

 

Call me when you actually have to worry about getting a speeding ticket. Right now you can leave late for work and rest assured that your not gonna get nailed for "fracturing" the speed limit. Until then, maybe take what the "public" has to say and at least consider it as a valid point. As for your "pay" comments, your job is far less dangerous than say an E-3 on a flight deck in the middle of the Medditeranean launching F-14's off of a carrier deck. Certainly less dangerous than an E-1 Private in Najaf. Yet your pay is AT LEAST 3 TIMES what they are making. Is your job more important? Not as far as I can tell. The few times I've called police for reports and such I've gotten nothing but an attitude and a "don't waste my time". Besides, unlike that E-1 in Najaf, you can quit at any time. If you don't like your job, quit, plain and simple, I've done it and so have millions of other Americans. It's easy. If my comments offended you maybe ya oughtta think about what your job is. You work for me, I am your employer. Remember that and we'll be fine.

I'm not anti-cop I just find it amusing when they complain about getting their rights trampled on......... Join the club!

[BradAndJanet 70]

Dan, we appreciate what you and your fellow firefighters do, and what you have to sometimes put up with on the job. Thank you!

 

-B

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Yeah, Dan, I do, also. True...when I'm the guilty one speeding down the road... but really, I've called upon the cops to help me more often than they've been around to "hinder" me.

 

Lots of us have dangerous jobs and low pay. Just yesterday, a local school went into lockdown because a kid brought a 357 into the school...unloaded, thank goodness, and no one was injured. Being a school teacher is a dangerous occupation in this day and age! I'm a nurse...in addition to the "dangers" of hepatitis, HIV, MRSA, etc., I was standing in an ICU one night when I suddenly found my nose confronted by some kind of really long gun. Car wreck - drinking - both drivers in the ICU, family member of not-guily person had come in to finish the other one off. Teachers, cops, firefighters, nurses, convenience store workers, office workers...almost everything is a dangerous profession today.

 

But you know what? We have all CHOSEN to work where we do, including those people

on E-3 on a flight deck in the middle of the Medditeranean launching F-14's off of a carrier deck. Certainly less dangerous than an E-1 Private in Najaf.

And we all belly ache about it from time to time. Including those E-3's and E-1's.

 

As for the termination issue...just another thing we have to deal with in this day and age. Many of us have said...get an attorney. But the fact of the matter is, it probably won't do an awful lot of good in the long run. Some things we just have to deal with and move on.

 

- EBF

 

Forgot to add...I also appreciate what the teachers, nurses, cops, and those E-3's and E-1's do for me, too. And all the others. I'm glad someone chooses to risk their neck in the convenient store at night so I can go buy a quart of milk at 2 AM.

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

That is really fucking sad. They have no buisiness asking you such personal questions, what you do in the privacy of your own home as long as it's legal, is your buisiness and nobody elses, no matter where you work.

 

We have heard that people who are swingers in the military have to be really careful about it because we have heard of people who were discharged because the military found out they were swingers.

 

Good luck to you.

[DanBridget 15]

Well lets clarify something here.. One I never said that I hated my job. Plus I never mad any statement that it was the only job that was dangerous. You brought that into the comversation not me. Third I know about being a E-1, E-3 and an O-1. My point was that police have a job and that job is to make sure we all follow the rules. Some people just have problem with following the rules becuase they think they shouldn't have to follow them. I am not going to quit my job I don't think it is a bad job. And in regard to the pay, most firefighters make about the same as a E-1 does if you include uniform pay and food. An average firefighter is lucky to make 24,000 a year. RWiF maybe you have some bad cops in your area, but why put them all down. Would you want someone to say all nurses are jerks, becuase of a few. I too have to deal with aids, HIV, Heps, TB and many other diseases in an area that is usually not able to be controlled. My wife also in the medical field understands EBF's point too. heck she;s in a medical office and had to deal with a crazy you needs to be escoted to and from the office by the State Police, and he attacked her. I agree that many jobs today are dengerous. That wasn't my point all jobs have their danger.. My point was that some of us have made a desicion to place our lives in danger no matter what. Thats including the Military. Becuase if we are nto willing to volunteer then who will.

 

I am sorry if you miussed understood me. But I just wanted to make clear that I never claimed we were the only ones in danger. And RW1F, in a sense I work for my self too, since I pay taxes to the state and city which pays me.

 

Oh yeah and one last point. So you know I did get a speeding ticket, and just because I work for a city doesn't mean I am above the law. And if you want you ask a sherriff near me that was also ticketed for speeding and had to pay his fine. So don't think we get away with it either.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Let's return this to the original discussion. Further bashing of other users or their chosen profession will be removed to trash. This is no place to air your political views.

 

I think when it comes down to it, you would lose regardless simply because of the moral codes that are built into most employment agreements. They are typically vague and pretty much can be applies to anything that the company (or in this case state) feels is not appropriate. Swinging would definately fit into that definition pretty much anywhere you go.

 

The only way you would have a leg to stand on is if you really had never had any sort of swinging encounters and could prove it (which of course you coudln't). They win. Move on, find a new job.

 

If you do want to attempt to fight it then I would suggest calline one of the Free Speech attorneys and seeing if they will take up your case

 

Free Speech Coalition

First Ammendment. org

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

Let's return this to the original discussion. Further bashing of other users or their chosen profession will be removed to trash. This is no place to air your political views.

 

 

Thank you Julie!!!

 

I feel for anyone dealing with the issue of their swinging coming out in their work place, I would be mortified if it happened to us.

 

Mrs Spoomonkey

[midnight hour 16]

If you belong to a Union contact them and get them to fight it..At will or Right to work states are hunting grounds for bad moods by employers..

If you had not been wrote up for anything, or had any black marks against you then other then answering personal questions which was no ones beeswax..then you might have a leg to stand on.

Virginia is one of those states and a man that worked in a place of employment here made IMHO the stupid choice of looking at his e-mail on a swingers site...someone traced the history and started in on him..however he was union and when he went to his rep they told the other gentleman that if he did not quit the harrassment at work, his job was going to be the one in hot water...after that other then some small gossip it all died down.

 

midnight hour

[tnohcpl 16]

didn't read all of the replies, but what about the american civil liberities union (a.c.l.u.) they take on difficult cases. states also has n.l.r.b. national labor relation bureau that mediate cases. not sure if it would apply here tho. a.c.l.u. i think is best bet. good luck!!!

[RW1F 15]

Sorry..... It's a personal thing. I can't help myself sometimes.

 

P.S. I think I musta been drinkin a little on the first reply cause my reply was meant for the original poster not D&B. I now kneel down and ask for forgiveness from D&B............

 

Surrender

[fun_pairTX 26]

Most public service jobs Police/Fire/EMS have a moral terpitude clause. If there was one in your employee handbook you are SOL.

[intuition897 2,179]

hi: wanted to add my $0.02 here. I agree Dito with most of what has been said. But we also live in an "AT Will State". I am not a lawyer but am a manager and recently learned that "At Will" only applies if you have no other policies goverining disciplinary action.

 

So in addition to finding a different lawyer I would also suggest getting a copy of your policy manual as if your previous employers have written policies which show proof of a disciplinary process you cannot be let go at will. I also agree that you can sue for being forced to quit due to hostile working conditions. Sometimes you need to find a lawyer out of the area if you worked for a large organization or a government type.

 

Good Luck to you!

 

Found this thread and thought I'd throw in my two cents.

 

I have no idea about living in an "at will state", nor am I a lawyer or legal expert of any kind. I just try to use common sense. There are no two ways about it: if you want to fight the man, prepare to let it all hang out. In a perfect world we'd be as accepted as monogamists and this would simply be a choice we've made. It ain't gonna happen though.

 

I'd say 1) get a second opinion on all this. This is way too unfair for there to not be SOME loophole for a lawyer to grab onto; for crying out loud loopholes are found all the time when it's the bad guy trying to get off on a technicality! Surely to God we can't be blamed for manipulating the system for the greater good! 2) Get a copy of your previous employer's employment policy manual. Take this to the lawyer. Pay him to read it. Read it yourself and see if there's anything in it that shows that they unjustly demoted you. 3) Consider the fact that in this "at will state" they might be justified in firing you, but you didn't get fired: you quit. This might work FOR you instead of against you. As posted above, quitting due to a hostile working environment. You'd probably be able to sue for lost income, emotional damages, whatever. Look into it.

 

I know this thread hasn't been really active lately, but when I read this it really chapped my ass. I had to throw this in here.

[highlander 21]

I have a question here:

What is the makeup of the community in which you were working?

 

The sad thing here:

I can believe that this is a conservative area--and that they also have a problem with sexual predation on the part of law enforcement officials. Frankly, the idea of a guy that gets pleanty at home is scarey to guys into things like extorting prostitutes to avoid arrest by putting out for officers. One guy I knew from high school lost his job as a deputy sherriff by offering women who would have sex with him a way out of traffic tickets-and this went on for _several_ years before it came out.

 

Anyhow, what you _can_ do here:

being a sherriff is an elected position. Quite a few folks, even those that wouldn't appreciate your lifestyle, would find just the fact of asking questions about ones personal life in this context a problem. Also, I bet there is some similar dirt on this scumbag. A small campaign, done appropriately could make the next election not much fun for this guy. You may need to lie low-but there may be someone else out there that can help with this.

 

 

i recently resinged from my job due to what i feel was an unfair employer.

i was working for a county sheriffs office and was due for promotion when some of the other deputies started rumors about my wife and me and our lifestyle. we never involved any one we worked with and even tried to only meet people from outside the county. as far as we knew or secret was safe. after the sheriff heard the rumors he started an investigation and when it was all said and done the rumors were found to be not true. but when i was interviewed by the detective he asked me very personal and intimate questions into my sexlife with my wife, to include if we video taped ourselves and what would be found on a video tape of ours. i felt that that was private and personal information and refused to give an answer.

 

due to that i was demoted, my pay cut over and beyond what i was payed prior to my promotion to corporal, loss of training, and put on probation for 6 months. i felt that i had no choise but to resign, knowing that i would be forced out as soon as the chance came up.

 

i contacted several attorneys and was told that nothing could be done, because i work in an at will employment state.

 

i dont feel that my lifestyle or my relationship with my wife should be my bosses business. nothing had ever happend while i was on duty and no laws were violated.

 

if anyone can help or know how to deal with this please let me know. im going crazy just knowing that i lost my job and that guy is still in office violating peoples rights to thier private lives.

[highlander 21]

Another thing that occured to me:

You can talk about your case to _every_ good attorney in your area. Why would you do this? Well, the conversation is covered by client-attorney privilege so they can't go around blabbing on it. However, by virtue of the fact that they have discussed this case with you, they may not be _able_ to take the sherriff's business in the future on related matters. This technique is called "poisoning the well". Also, there just plain is something to be said about getting the truth about this guy out to the people he has to deal with. Lots of folks don't like swingers. However, a lot of folks also don't like people that use _public funds_ to promote their own little brand of morality in a public agency. Your issue of employment aside: this this sherriff have the right to ask that kind of question of a subordinate employee? Sounds like harrassment to me.

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

Stoco, the original poster, appears to have not been on the board for several months- so the helpful answers aren't being helpful to him. But maybe to others.

 

I'm an HR guy in an at-will state. As others have said- my organization can fire you for no reason at all- none needed. There are tiers of protection however:

 

1. Federal laws prohibiting ILLEGAL discrimination. This is discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, or disability status. Notice that "swinging" is not protected by federal law.

 

2. State & local law. Some states and municipalities prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation. There are many places where it is perfectly legal to fire someone because they are gay. In Washington D.C. you are protected by grounds of appearance- i.e. you can't fire someone because you think that they are ugly. All of this depends on where you live. Again, I am not familiar with any localities that protect your right to swing- at least in an employment situation.

 

3. Your third tier of "protection" is company policy/labor agreement. Most of this is designed for the protection of the company, not the employee. This is also where you run into morals clauses and the like.

 

All that muck having been said, some jobs are substantially tougher than others regarding your personal life. Law enforcement is one such job.

 

Many of us like to think that our employers need a reason to fire us. In an at will state, that simply isn't the case. No one has the "right" to a job.

 

Importantly- being treated UNFAIRLY is not the same as being treated ILLEGALLY. A lawyer is going to look at the legalities of the issue- not the fairness.

 

My advice to Stoco would have been to move on- maybe even another state. The cops where I live all have friends in other departments, and of course they talk. So I suspect Stocos' woes would have followed him if he looked for law enforcement work in his current locality.

 

And one final bit of bloviation: as was pointed out- we only have one side of the story. There is ALWAYS the other side, and it's usually pretty interesting...

[highlander 21]

Here's the thing, law enforcement officials have some _serious_ problems in their own ranks that affect their ability to do their jobs-I'm thinking stuff like drug addiction, alcoholism, sexual harrassment of the public-right on to ramparts in LA(Where members of the LAPD were moonlighting as hitmen for local gangs).

 

I find it also easy to believe that the sherriff in question is recognized as a jerk by his peers-who can't do much because he's an elected official. I can easily believe that in another department, what happened would be a non-issue.

 

 

 

My advice to Stoco would have been to move on- maybe even another state. The cops where I live all have friends in other departments, and of course they talk. So I suspect Stocos' woes would have followed him if he looked for law enforcement work in his current locality.

 

And one final bit of bloviation: as was pointed out- we only have one side of the story. There is ALWAYS the other side, and it's usually pretty interesting...

[ncslutcouple 15]

ok if you are in our state there is nothing you can do about it. nc is an at will state and fornication is illegal. plus your job would be considered working at the will of the sherrif. the law is different in every state many dont understand that or will assume everywhere or everyone has thier oppinion, good luck sorry it happend remeber discretion

[northindycpl 32]

I would go to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (I think Julie has a link on this site under links)

 

Their purpose is to assist people/groups who have been discriminated against becasue of the lifestyle. From there they can point you to lots of others that can help.

 

It is odd to me that this detective would ask you about a video and what is on it?

 

Have you made one recently, that you have lost possession of? It seems like an interesting thing to ask, IMHO.

 

Good Luck!

[Nymph an' Satyr 22]

I've worked in HR in police environments. When an Internal Investigation is being launched against an officer- it's amazing what questions they ask. Cops are held to a VERY high standard in many/most law enforcment agencies. I've worked in a place where if the police officers cursed they would lose a vacation day. Not my idea of a good job....