Are both partners equals?

[cplnluv1 871]

After meeting many who were new to the LS it was always interesting to who had the idea to meet us. Was it the woman looking for something new or a man pushing? I always tried to determine if they decided together with no agenda other than having fun together trying new things. A man pushing the woman into this was a big no. A woman ridiculing the man was just as bad. I learned the word Cuckold and would never demean a man by making him watch us with his partner. The optimum meet was with a woman who wanted to explore and her partner who would enjoy sharing the experience. 
We found too many couples have a dominant partner who tries to control instead of share the experience. 
Are you equal in the LS with your partner and are the people you meet equal? 

[Billygoat 443]

Yes, as far as slowly starting out….about 25 years ago.  We are very open with each other so talking/discussion wants, desires etc was easy.  As with most couples we played first with other couples we would connect with or just ourselves together in an open room with others.  Then MFM that eventually lead to multiple men at a time for her.  She had a great capacity and loved please partners of her choosing.  In time we played at parties alone with others and together and about 20% of the time we would play with each other at the party.  We thoroughly enjoyed each other as well as others.

 

Then menopause (men-o-pause) kicked in and over a couple of years her libido waned and all but stopped.  We are always sexual with each other but she “lost interest/drive” in others.  We still attended regularly she rarely played except with me and I was still active in our circle of friends, but not as much.
 

We are still very social with those we met and shared with but not sexually as much these days.  I from time to time will play with a few of our lady friends with her whole hearted blessing.

 

we both had/have equal veto power but have rarely ever used it. 

[couplers 4,616]

As part of a poly family whose members only occasionally play outside of the family, our situation is not the same as regular swinging couples.  But as a woman with an opinion, I will respond to the question, "Are both partners equals?" - NO.

 

We are not equal because we are not the same, even before our poly family formed.  There's a difference between women and men; men generally want more sex even in the rush of a weekday morning.  Women have a greater capacity for it, taking three or four in a row, no problem.  That's why, until recently, we women shared an outside boyfriend while the men didn't play. 

 

We women have a homosexual side, the men do not.  One of the guys likes to take us women "fresh" then not watch in his post- orgasm state, while the other likes to "watch the show" in an excited state and go for sloppy seconds.

 

Lora and I are the only ones who like a little BDSM. only with one another.  A lot of verbal degradation, some slapping and pissing.  We'd like the guys to be there as an audience, but they refuse.

 

Recently, I became attracted to another man, and after meeting her, his wife as well.  A little soft stuff with him without her knowledge was as far as I was willing to take it.  The others in my family knew, and it became our fantasy.  My husband turned the fantasy into reality with them.  We all played, but it was very unequal.  The other couple played mostly with Red and Lora, with hubby, Clair, and me only occasionally jumping in.  It wasn't equal, but fantastic. 

 

So hardly anything is equal among couples because of individual differences and wants.  It may appear unfair, but with love and kindness, it's for the best. 

 

 

Edited November 4, 2023 by couplers

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I would say that we are equal, but that is mostly because neither of us would want to do something that would hurt the other. That is probably why our relationship is so great!

[enhancer 1,584]

We are equals in every way!  No use whatsoever for self proclaimed doms and boy are there lots out there.  We find it quite ridiculous.

[PJ&Lin 188]

We are equals with respect. I respect Linda’s decisions not pushing her into a situation she is not happy with and I feel she respects my choices.