Get wife into BBC

[Dan523 0]

want to be cuckolded by wife and a black man, any tips or suggestions, hampshire based

[MidwestHoneys 359]

Oh you must be the husband of the woman who just posted she wants her husband sodomized by the same black guy. It’s a shame nobody wants us purple guys. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Step 1: Tell HER.

Step 2: See what she says and does.

[ExploringOptions 185]

I never understand this. What does she want? Can you explain the race part?

[couplers 4,717]

Has your wife spoken to you about any fantasies?

 

It's my understanding that a cuckold is a man who doesn't know that his wife is cheating on him.  So perhaps your fantasy is already being fulfilled.  Examine closely next time your wife comes home with a smile on her face, and explain to her why you're down there preparing to lick her good. 

[AdamGunn2 418]

I believe that 'cuckold' has two distinct definitions:

 

1) A man whose wife is cheating on him (whether he knows about it or not. See Ken Follet's The Pillars of the Earth for a wonderful example.) This is an older conception.

2) A man whose wife has extramarital sexual encounters and humiliates him in the process. This can be done during the act (if the husband is watching), before (making him wear a cock cage, for example,) or after (making him eat her while she has the cum of another man, for example.) 

 

The idea that all men whose wives have sex with others are cuckolds is a misnomer, in my opinion. By this logic the man in any couple who has a foursome is a cuckold. Also there is the stag/vixen dynamic where a man allows his wife to have sex with others (while he may or may not be present,) and both are content with the situation.

 

[Numex 2,459]

3 hours ago, AdamGunn2 said:

where a man allows his wife to have sex with others ---- and both are content with the situation.

That's a Wittol, what all of us men in the lifestyle are.  Cuckolds are men being cheated upon without his knowledge. 

[TnA83 314]

8 hours ago, AdamGunn2 said:

 

2) A man whose wife has extramarital sexual encounters and humiliates him in the process. This can be done during the act (if the husband is watching), before (making him wear a cock cage, for example,) or after (making him eat her while she has the cum of another man, for example.) 

 

 

 

That's the definition of cuckold in my opinion.  I realize that in times past it has meant a non monogamous woman's husband in any situation.  I think of it as a man that is shamed by his wife's infidelity but still enjoys it, or can't do anything about it.

[couplers 4,717]

12 hours ago, TnA83 said:

a man that is shamed by his wife's infidelity but still enjoys it

Women too?  I don't feel shamed when my men have sex with another woman, but I do feel the sting of jealousy and inadequate.  I do, however, enjoy those feelings.

 

Perhaps because it is common throughout history for husbands to cheat on their wives (or have more than one wife, consort, concubine), women are expected to accept it without feelings. 

[TnA83 314]

7 hours ago, couplers said:

Women too?  I don't feel shamed when my men have sex with another woman, but I do feel the sting of jealousy and inadequate.  I do, however, enjoy those feelings.

 

Perhaps because it is common throughout history for husbands to cheat on their wives (or have more than one wife, consort, concubine), women are expected to accept it without feelings. 

What's good for the gander is good for the goose, I guess.

[couplers 4,717]

17 hours ago, TnA83 said:

What's good for the gander is good for the goose, I guess.

Greatly agreed! Goodness for the gander grants grace for the goose, giving both gallant gestures grounds for gratitude.

[Anon321 524]

On 11/20/2023 at 9:35 AM, AdamGunn2 said:

I believe that 'cuckold' has two distinct definitions:

 

1) A man whose wife is cheating on him (whether he knows about it or not. See Ken Follet's The Pillars of the Earth for a wonderful example.) This is an older conception.

2) A man whose wife has extramarital sexual encounters and humiliates him in the process. This can be done during the act (if the husband is watching), before (making him wear a cock cage, for example,) or after (making him eat her while she has the cum of another man, for example.) 

 

The idea that all men whose wives have sex with others are cuckolds is a misnomer, in my opinion. By this logic the man in any couple who has a foursome is a cuckold. Also there is the stag/vixen dynamic where a man allows his wife to have sex with others (while he may or may not be present,) and both are content with the situation.

 

I think people just think too much into it.  I never considered myself a cuckold as I see my experience with my GF as more of a hotwife type of scenario.  But at the same time, you come across guys who think of it as a cuckold scenario or want it to be a cuckold scenario so they try to incorporate some of those humiliation elements into it.  Some of them don't bother me if it helps them or gets them off and others I would never go for.

[AdamGunn2 418]

19 minutes ago, Anon321 said:

Some of them don't bother me if it helps them or gets them off and others I would never go for.

Okay, that's fair for you.

 

But . . . neither my wife or I ever wanted me to appear 'weak' when I was sharing my wife. So if they need to make me appear 'weak' just so they can get off was a no-go for us.

[Anon321 524]

29 minutes ago, AdamGunn2 said:

Okay, that's fair for you.

 

But . . . neither my wife or I ever wanted me to appear 'weak' when I was sharing my wife. So if they need to make me appear 'weak' just so they can get off was a no-go for us.

At the end of the day it's whatever I'm comfortable with.  I don't know about "weak" or what specifically constitutes it.  I've been asked to be restrained while a guy fucks her and I watch.  That was a no for me.  Cleaning up afterwards - another strong no for me.  Ultimately I'll make the decisions on what I'm comfortable with.  Whether any of it makes me seem "weak" I'm not 100% sure about.  To me, I don't think it makes me seem weak, however some guys perception is that I must be weak if I'm letting them fuck my GF.  That's why I don't really spend too much time thinking about this stuff.

[MidwestHoneys 359]

Why BBC? How about AWC ? Average White Cock!  This sounds so wrong. Why is race part of it?

 

Now I notice the OP was a one and done. He came and is done, Literally 

[Anon321 524]

21 hours ago, MidwestHoneys said:

Why BBC? How about AWC ? Average White Cock!  This sounds so wrong. Why is race part of it?

 

Now I notice the OP was a one and done. He came and is done, Literally 

I don't really get the race part of it either but it clearly is very much a real thing.  Seems to be big in porn so perhaps that's what made it popularized.

[lustylearning 705]

I totally understand the appeal of interracial sexuality. It’s like art to me, visually, and I’d definitely want a purple man in the mix.

[Numex 2,459]

On 11/17/2023 at 6:37 PM, Dan523 said:

want to be cuckolded by wife and a black man, any tips or suggestions, hampshire based

You must allow your wife to pursue the sex that is her fantasy and that she enjoys.  Let your wife choose the man or woman who she wants to have sex with.  Let her also decide when, where, and how she wants to do it, and most importantly, whether she wants you to be there or not. 

 

Make it all about her pleasure and fun and that that you will not play with another woman.  Listen if she wants to talk about her experiences, but don't interrogate her if she doesn't want to talk.  NEVER criticize her choices.

 

Then enjoy the adventure that she takes you on.  

 

[couplers 4,717]

On 1/5/2024 at 9:53 AM, Anon321 said:

you come across guys who think of it as a cuckold scenario or want it to be a cuckold scenario so they try to incorporate some of those humiliation elements into it.  Some of them don't bother me if it helps them or gets them off and others I would never go for.

Forget helping the other guy get off, what fantasy role playing does your GF want you to do to get her off?  And how does the discussion fuel the sex between you two afterwards?  

 

 

Edited January 29 by couplers

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,421]

On 1/6/2024 at 2:19 PM, Anon321 said:

I don't really get the race part of it either but it clearly is very much a real thing.  Seems to be big in porn so perhaps that's what made it popularized.

Opposites attract and I think black and white people are naturally attracted to one another.  When a couple is open to sexual adventure outside the relationship it's normal to want to try different kinds of people and races.  But this desire must be present in the woman - not just the man, and from what we've seen a good amount of women in the Lifestyle do share this desire.

[oldswinger64 113]

This is just my opinion, but I always felt that it was a way to put black men down.  All they are good for is fucking.

[cplnluv1 874]

On 1/6/2024 at 2:19 PM, Anon321 said:

I don't really get the race part of it either but it clearly is very much a real thing.  Seems to be big in porn so perhaps that's what made it popularized.

As much as the original post bothers me we have been asked by a number of new swingers about swinging with black men. It’s not only men who ask women ask and will ask for more details. I don’t always answer or will just state it’s a stereotype and not to believe everything you heard. The most upsetting questions are the ones I perceive as racist mostly by the men’s comments. 
Alan and I have met many couples new to sex with others always trying to steer clear of those who are doing it because the man wanted to see his wife have sex with me, I think those same men are the ones who want to watch a black man too. 
 

Embarrassing note:

10 years ago we met our first couple because Alan never saw me being wild like I bragged about as a college student. 
In a future search Alan found a Black couple. I am sure it was more of a porn fantasy and in now way a racist use of anyone. 
As with any first whether it was the first couple, first woman-woman, first i terrace meeting or first threesome there is a special excitement. None of these were firsts for me when we searched, they were firsts for us. 

[Anon321 524]

12 hours ago, couplers said:

Forget helping the other guy get off, what fantasy role playing does your GF want you to do to get her off?  And how does the discussion fuel the sex between you two afterwards?  

 

 

My GF's fantasies and role playing largely revolve around "consensual non-consenual sex."  Yes, it's a very real thing.  And there are scenarios where some of the cuckolding thing certainly plays well with that type of sex.

[findinganswers 369]

As racist as this is the attraction to the unknown is real. Intellectually we know how wrong searching out a partner based on the BBC stereotype is, many white women have a fantasy and many men feed into what was that forbidden buck. Even answering here feels wrong with that expression. I feel guilty that we searched to fulfill a fantasy that is so wrong. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,421]

1 hour ago, findinganswers said:

I feel guilty that we searched to fulfill a fantasy that is so wrong. 

I doubt the black men you enjoyed harbor any ill will or regrets.

[AdamGunn2 418]

Is the desire to sexually be with a black person racist?

 

It's not racist to prefer that your partners be blond, or have facial hair, or large (or small) breasts, or . . . (fill in your own blank here.)

 

So, if the only reason you want to have inter-racial sex is because you think it might be fun, I don't think that makes you bad - or a racist.

[WesternSwing 504]

On 11/20/2023 at 11:38 AM, Numex said:

That's a Wittol, what all of us men in the lifestyle are.  Cuckolds are men being cheated upon without his knowledge. 

I understand a wittol to be a man who knows of his wife’s extramarital affairs and tolerates them. Wittols don’t typically get involved. Wittols turn a blind eye to their wife’s infidelity. Wittols don’t get off on their wife fucking other men. 
 

Stags get off on their wife fucking others, whether they do it together or she sees others by herself. Stags also join in when they want. Stags can take an active or passive role in their wife fucking other men. 
 

Lastly, not all men who get off on their wife fucking other men are consider themselves stags, either. Some just like MFM threesomes or MFMF couple swapping.

[WesternSwing 504]

On 11/17/2023 at 6:37 PM, Dan523 said:

want to be cuckolded by wife and a black man, any tips or suggestions, hampshire based

First, discuss this with your wife as it has to be her fantasy also. If it is, discuss the rules of engagement. Then discuss them since more. Once you both are comfortable with how you want it to go down and what activities she’ll engage in with the other man. also, develop some contingency plans for when things go wrong, because they will. What seems really fucking hot when you’re horny, can produce a whole different set of feelings when you’re not. So you need to discuss in advance how you were going to handle potential problems and jealousy.
 

Then create a profile on a swingers site and start messaging single men that you are interested in. My ex-wife and I always liked to meet new playmates in a public place for food or drinks and get the warm fuzzies with them. Some people will give you the eebie-jeebies and it will be a no-go. Others will be the golden ticket. But you BOTH have to be into him, not just you. It may be your fantasy to watch your wife fuck another man, but she’s the one fucking him. In fact, you’ll probably be surprised that who you would pick to see fuck her will not be who she picks to fuck her. 
 

Then, after all is said and done have a post mission discussion and talk about what was good, what was bad, what you’d like to do again, and what you’d change. 
 

Good luck in your adventures.

 

P.S. Talk, talk, talk. You can’t have too much communication about this, before and after. 

[Numex 2,459]

On 1/31/2024 at 11:04 PM, WesternSwing said:

Stags get off on their wife fucking others, whether they do it together or she sees others by herself. Stags also join in when they want. Stags can take an active or passive role in their wife fucking other men. 
 

Lastly, not all men who get off on their wife fucking other men are consider themselves stags, either. Some just like MFM threesomes or MFMF couple swapping.

Nice summary, thanks for the schooling.  The wife of a stag is a vixen, but what about a hotwife?  What's her husband called?  When my wife and I started in the lifestyle, that's what I now call what we did - she played and I didn't, although it eventually went to MFMs.  It wasn't for my excitement, I just wanted her to be happy since before we were married she had a number of partners, often two going at the same time, although never any threesomes.  It became obvious to me how she is wired and I didn't want her to be deprived.

[AdamGunn2 418]

15 hours ago, Numex said:

 The wife of a stag is a vixen, but what about a hotwife?  What's her husband called? 

Ah, labels!

 

Of course, every ENM wife/husband dynamic is a little different. For example, my wife and I participated in foursomes and orgies, but there were many times when she had lovers with me just watching.  And then there were times when the two men (one of them was me,) pleasured her together, an MFM.  How do you label that relationship?

 

But, when talking about a woman who has sex with her husband's knowledge and consent, I'd suggest there are two basic definitions.

1) If the wife and/or her lover humiliates, insults or otherwise degrades him (either verbally or physically,) he's a cuckold.

2) If it remains a loving relationship with no belittling of the husband, it's a stag/vixen relationship.

 

Yes, there are many, many variations to this, but I think the 'definitions' work in a general way.

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

11 hours ago, AdamGunn2 said:

Of course, every ENM wife/husband dynamic is a little different. For example, my wife and I participated in foursomes and orgies, but there were many times when she had lovers with me just watching.  And then there were times when the two men (one of them was me,) pleasured her together, an MFM.  How do you label that relationship?

Marriage.

 

Seriously, there's so many different ways in which people conduct their marital relationships there's just no easy way to put any given relationship into a box. Ok, so most marriages don't include the wife of the couple having sex with a number of other men out side the marriage (and the marriage remaining stable). But, it still applies. There's no easy definition.

[njbm 2,901]

On 1/29/2024 at 9:54 AM, oldswinger64 said:

This is just my opinion, but I always felt that it was a way to put black men down.  All they are good for is fucking.

I think it is dehumanizing, as if they are reduced to a big cock. We enjoy meeting and playing with people of all backgrounds, but not for stereotypical reasons. 

[MidwestHoneys 359]

Looks like an asshole joined and started this thread, jerked off and never came back. Bye Bye Bye. 

[discreetplay 235]

On 1/6/2024 at 1:19 PM, Anon321 said:

I don't really get the race part

I never understood this myself. There is a believe that a certain race bring larger equipment to the game. This isn't real but something many believe.

 

I had a buddy at a prior job who told me many times how easy it was to sleep with married women because the husband wanted to see her with a black man. He didn't care because he was getting laid 4-5 times a week with little effort and no strings. He had many regulars who would text him just so he would go over and rock the woman's world.

 

One final note...I saw him in the shower many times (nature of the job) and I repeat my prior statement that it is a false believe.

[WesternSwing 504]

On 2/4/2024 at 5:14 PM, Numex said:

Nice summary, thanks for the schooling.  The wife of a stag is a vixen, but what about a hotwife?  What's her husband called?  When my wife and I started in the lifestyle, that's what I now call what we did - she played and I didn't, although it eventually went to MFMs.  It wasn't for my excitement, I just wanted her to be happy since before we were married she had a number of partners, often two going at the same time, although never any threesomes.  It became obvious to me how she is wired and I didn't want her to be deprived.

Oh, by no means did I mean to "school" anyone. I wrote that while having a dozen other things going on around me so my words were not well thought-out. A few hours later I went back and re-read what I had written and thought "Oooh... That wash harsh", but it was too late to edit my post. 

 

I think "hotwife" can be many things to many people. The classic definition is a wife "who has sexual relationships outside of her marriage, with the full knowledge and consent of her husband, who himself doesn't have affairs." But many husbands of hotwifes also have sex with other women besides their wife and he may still call his wife a "hotwife". I think it's really just a term to describe one type of non-monogamous activity.

 

My personal view is that a woman doesn't have to be, nor are many, just a hotwife. I feel that hotwifing is one activity that couples engage in, along with hothusbanding, partner swapping, threesomes, cuckolding, gang bangs, etc. I think couples have many fantasies and interests and many move within all the different activities in open relationships as they explore. Most couples I know that have been in The Lifestyle a while do engage in many of the varied non-monogamous activities and don't stick in just one category. They may swap with another couple one week, she or he may go out on a date alone the next (hotwife or hothusband), they may have a threesome the next week, they may do some cuckold play the next. 

 

Wittol is just one of those terms that is very specific and I think gets confused and lumped-in with cuckolding, which is different in that a wittol doesn't care if his wife is fucking around. I think many companionship marriages are that way, where everything about the relationship is perfect, but they just don't have sex anymore, so the allow, or tolerate their partner getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Cucks get off on their wife's infidelities and the humiliation. In hotwifing the husband loves his wife's extramarital activities and encourages them, but there is no humiliation aspect to it. I haven't found a term for a female wittol, though, just a cuckquean. 

 

This should probably be a thread all it's own not attached to this topic.

[WesternSwing 504]

55 minutes ago, discreetplay said:

I never understood this myself. There is a believe that a certain race bring larger equipment to the game. This isn't real but something many believe.

 

I had a buddy at a prior job who told me many times how easy it was to sleep with married women because the husband wanted to see her with a black man. He didn't care because he was getting laid 4-5 times a week with little effort and no strings. He had many regulars who would text him just so he would go over and rock the woman's world.

 

One final note...I saw him in the shower many times (nature of the job) and I repeat my prior statement that it is a false believe.

I don't get the race play thing, either. To me sex is sex, it doesn't matter what color someone's skin is. This doesn't discount attraction as people are attracted to who they are attracted to, and there is no accounting or explanation for that. I've always been amazed at who my partners have been attracted to, whether it's past lovers, spouses, current people they like fucking, whatever, because they don't "look" like me. We have a daughter who has dated White, Hispanic, and Asian men, but prefers Black men and is married to one. She is just more attracted to Black men than to others. And I get it, I'm more attracted to curvier women, redheads, and Hispanic women. Those women will turn my head for a second look more than others will. I have no idea why, either. It just is.

 

But as you mentioned, the idea that one race is always "bigger" or "better" at fucking than another is just plain silly. I think the BBC thing plays into the taboo our society has built around Black men, and as you mentioned, many Black men use it to their advantage to get laid. But I've also read articles about this subject and many black men feel the strain of having to live-up to this image of the well-hung animalistic sex machine, when in fact they are just normal men like every other guy out there. One such article that sticks out in my head is this one: https://www.playboy.com/read/is-your-dildo-racist

Edited February 6 by WesternSwing

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,421]

Basically it's another fetish and not really meant to be analyzed beyond that.

 

You could argue that it's wrong to tie people up, blindfold them and whip them and of course you're right.  But in the context of a fetish where all parties are consenting adults who are engaged in the act for mutual pleasure, then there's nothing wrong with it - even if you don't understand it.

 

The BBC thing is the same.

[Numex 2,459]

On 2/5/2024 at 8:27 AM, AdamGunn2 said:

my wife and I participated in foursomes and orgies, but there were many times when she had lovers with me just watching.

There were many times when my wife had lovers alone, without me watching.

 

On 2/5/2024 at 8:27 AM, AdamGunn2 said:

And then there were times when the two men (one of them was me,) pleasured her together, an MFM.

Then there were times when two men (neither of then was me and I didn't get to watch) pleasured my wife together in an MFM.

 

On 2/5/2024 at 8:27 AM, AdamGunn2 said:

How do you label that relationship?

Generous.

[Numex 2,459]

On 2/6/2024 at 11:59 AM, WesternSwing said:

my words were not well thought-out. A few hours later I went back and re-read what I had written and thought "Oooh... That wash harsh",

I didn't have any problem with it at all.  I didn't mean to come off as taking offense.

 

On 2/6/2024 at 11:59 AM, WesternSwing said:

"hotwife" can be many things to many people. The classic definition is a wife "who has sexual relationships outside of her marriage, with the full knowledge and consent of her husband, who himself doesn't have affairs." But many husbands of hotwifes also have sex with other women besides their wife

We started with the first and I was fine with that (Daniela gives me all the sex I want), but then moved to the second at Daniela's urging.

 

On 2/6/2024 at 11:59 AM, WesternSwing said:

In hotwifing the husband loves his wife's extramarital activities and encourages them, but there is no humiliation aspect to it.

That's us, I encouraged her not because it turned me on, but to make her happy.  She started with exes that she liked, it was kind of "so what" to me, she fucked them before.

[nusofties 54]

On 1/29/2024 at 2:32 PM, cplnluv1 said:

 

Edited April 23 by nusofties