Would we chose us?

[ExploringOptions 185]

We had a conversation about what we look for and wondered if we would stop and look at us. I said we put a higher bar for others physically which we ourselves possibly don’t meet. After Thanksgiving feeling stuffed I said I have to stop eating all the desserts, I’m getting fat. 
If we are going to be in the Lifestyle we have to make lifestyle changes. We need to eat healthier while exercising more. We know personality is important while who will find out our personality if they skip us because of body type. 

[lovefest04 701]

Wonderful self knowledge.

 

I think that's really healthy.

 

Walking in the others shoes.

 

 

[cplnluv1 874]

We thought about why others contacted us when our profile picture was very limited. There was nothing hideous as we are not overweight or trashy in our view. Attractive is extremely subjective, we do find each other attractive still. 
This post is making me think. 

[enhancer 1,586]

Anything that makes people eat healthier and exercise more is a good thing!  Yes personality is going to be important, but being healthy and in good shape is going to make a huge difference in the people you are going to attract.  

If we are going to have sex with other people they will first need to be physically attractive to us.  We already have loads of friends with great personalities we don’t want to have sex with.  Not looking for more.

[William2001 53]

I too have been thinking about this question...

 

I have to say that the idea of 'Opposites Attract' works for me. Looking in the mirror, I get very used to what I see. Therefore seeing another person (Or Couple) I am looking for something different. Not exactly the same...

 

For example I am white (Anglo Saxon) male, and so too was my wife. ( Anglo Saxon, not male..!) Therefore she was attracted to dark skinned males...

 

So we were not always looking for people like ourselves...

 

So yea we would be interested in people like us, but mostly we looked for others who were different...

 

[let's do it again 416]

I get it about the looks part, but I like to swap on vacation and personality has much more influence than looks. If someone is beautiful but has a personality like a doorknob, it doesn't fly with me. I would choose a woman like me, not afraid to experiment and push the limits.

[lustylearning 705]

We understand what you mean. For us, the thought of getting back into the lifestyle has been an inspiration to be more consistent about exercise and making healthy eating choices. We want to be comfortable in our own skin.

[MidwestHoneys 359]

Choosing us maybe, Choosing Honey definitely. If you are basing it on a picture we are fit, thin, not every person wants that. I know guys who like more meat on the women they are having sex with while I don’t care for big tits and ass. I bet there are some that would pass us based on a picture, their loss. 

[couplers 4,718]

Being sexually attractive to men and other women is a strong, perhaps the primary, motivator for me to not overeat and to workout hard.  

16 hours ago, MidwestHoneys said:

we are fit, thin, not every person wants that

That's me as well, but I do think that in this world of the obese  most people like seeing fit.  My concern was always my small breasts, but I found there's a market for that. 

16 hours ago, MidwestHoneys said:

. I know guys who like more meat on the women

The "meat" on me is muscle.  There's a market for that as well.  Although it's still necessary sometimes to put a pillow under my ass for missionary. 

 

We in our poly family are all pretty fit.  The downside is that hard workouts during the weekdays after work has diminished the men's nighttime sexual abilities as they have gotten into their thirties. 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2023 by couplers

[MidwestHoneys 359]

5 hours ago, couplers said:

We in our poly family are all pretty fit.  The downside is that hard workouts during the weekdays after work has diminished the men's nighttime sexual abilities as they have gotten into their thirties. 

Hard workouts have helped my stamina and cardio. 
 

I wonder how many members on this board we would choose based on a picture. 

[findinganswers 369]

17 hours ago, MidwestHoneys said:
 

I wonder how many members on this board we would choose based on a picture. 

There is a gallery section where you there are “real” pictures. 

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

"Would we choose 'us'?"  It depends on what choices are being made, doesn't it?   

 

Is this elementary school, and we are choosing up teams for dodgeball?

Is this high school, and we are choosing the prom king and queen?

Is this college admissions, and we are choosing based on probability of success?

 

...and perhaps more on point....

 

Is this people on SLS (and similar sites) to send out an introductory message?

Is this people to go up to and have a conversation with at a house party or LS resort?

Is this people to get naked and play with? (not quite the same as the line above) 

 

What binds all of this together is the idea that those choices are always made in context of the choosers perception of what they want/need/desire at a particular time coupled with the "catalog" issue.

 

By the catalog issue we mean the following. If you go to some high end supermarket, you can 35 types of peanut butter. You can stand there reading the labels for hours. If you go to the convenience story, you have creamy and chunky. Easier choice, and you can think clearly among the limited number of options.  

 

We think that at SLS and similar sites (our profile name there is the same as here except without the space between the two words) , we are likely to get lost in the crowd, which is fine with us. We are older, certainly not flashy at this point (never have been, either), and our profile is going to be seen as TL;DR etc. 

 

We think that at a party/cruise/resort, yes we would choose us to start a conversation precisely because we are easy to approach and give thoughtful and engaging responses. All of this even while not breaking mirrors or frightening small animals. We are not movie stars, but attend to appearance, grooming, hygiene, fitness, and overall health. 

 

Suppose we get to/past the point of 'that's an interesting couple' and are asking 'where might this go?' . We would most assuredly  choose us because we respect pace and boundaries. We are never in a rush, make it a point to be sensitive to how others are responding to the situation, respect limits and so on. That's fairly rare, at least in our experience. 

 

In summary, it depends on who is doing the choosing. For most choosers, many couples will easily make a first cut, but have progressively less chance of being chosen on a second or third round. We might well have trouble making others' first cut, yet  our chances will improve at each succeeding cut. It depends on their clarity of "what they want". 

 

 

[lustylearning 705]

Well said.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Of course we would choose us...we are the best couple that we know! We wish we could find more us's

[ROCKlandCpl 452]

Our first experience we chose or contacted someone online hoping they would answer. Online dating never occurred to me when I was single, swiping left or right was something I only read about. Now we were searching for a non traditional date, reading profiles, looking at snapshots that were not always flattering. Having a resume for business I know there are key words and phrases that stand out, we needed a resumé to catch others eyes. 
Being chosen that first time by online lifestylers gave us confidence that we were acceptable. I don’t know why I had doubts being we have plenty of friends in the vanilla world. The real confidence came with meeting a a LS friend from a vanilla setting. 

[Half MT 239]

Good question. We can’t post naked pictures which we are finding on many profiles. We can’t post much about our swinging history as we only have one meet. 
We enjoy a sense of humor unfortunately when looking at pictures and we laugh it’s not a good sign. I have always been told you can’t tell a book by its cover which searching online is. Men bragging is not attractive, we are new and look for humility and sincerity. There are looks that gives a peak into personality or lifestyle. 
If you do post nudes please don’t give close ups of your privates.  

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

This is exactly why we don't spend too much time with emails and texting. You will learn more about another couple in 5 minutes in person than an eternity of writing. We also have learned that you absolutely cannot judge a book by its cover either. If we find a couple that seems interesting and wants to meet with us, we arrange a meeting...with the understanding that it is just a meeting and not a play date. Takes the pressure off of the meet and allows everyone time to decide if they are a match or not. Worst thing that can happen is the Ms. and I went out for dinner with another couple that is looking for something similar and we had an interesting time (I use the word 'interesting' since some times are more interesting than others...and some become stories that we remind each other when we are looking back at our adventures). We also don't post ANY close ups of our bodies that don't include a face, and don't understand why some people (usually men) insist on doing that.