Don't Hate Me 'Cause I'm Straight

[Spoomonkey 421]

I was is a discussion recently with someone and it really had me sort of bugged...

 

I have no problem accepting anyone's sexual preference - be that straight, bisexual, gay, transgendered, baptist, whatever... If it works for you and gives you a fulfilled life - by all means, enjoy...

 

I may ask you not to enjoy it on my leather chair, but other than that, I'm a pretty open individual.

 

The problem is that in some folks' hyperdiligence to get me to accept another person's sexuality - they decide that they aren't done until I accept the fact that I too am somewhat gay. Somewhere along the line I was taught that being gay is less than manly and I must have repressed my desire for the masculine love making that every man deeply needs.

 

This person I was talking to stated that I simply wasn't being true to myself and was limiting my sexual self by my homophobic choices.

 

Mm-hmm...

 

See that is where it kind of irks me...

 

I can accept that a homosexual is born a homosexual - that they didn't choose it - that is just simply the way that they are...

 

So why can people not accept the fact that I was born straight? I didn't choose it - God made me this way. I don't want to limit my sexual options, but I can't help myself... I like good old T&A - like my father and his father before him... I am not asking to throw a parade or get my own special day at Disney World... I just want to be allowed to live in this heterosexual hell that is my lot in life.

 

I am not "a little" bisexual.

 

I am not "mostly" straight.

 

I just dig chicks. Period... End of story...

 

And it gets under my skin to no end when people try to convince me that I am simply a paler shade of gay. I don't rub my butt and wonder what a man's hands would feel like back there - and I don't have guilty daydreams about Josh Hartnet...

 

Can someone please tell me where this incredible school of misthought started that is convinced that there is no such thing anymore as the normal heterosexual male? Or that if there is such a thing, it is somehow wrong?

 

Because I don't get it...

 

And if I don't figure it out soon, I am going to make my own flag (I am thinking about going with 'Blue') and marching to Washington. I'll call it the "Million Straight Guy" march... But after my discussions with folks, I am not sure I'll be able to find that many to march with me...

[biblonde 22]

Oh here is one more to march with ya! Hubby is as straight as straight could be!!! no curiousity or thoughts or nothing. and if that makes him strange, odd, or whatever...good!!! I wouldnt want him any other way. I agree...do what ya want to but..dont push it on me or hubby. I personally dont want to watch 2 men or have any man with my hubby. The thought to me is yuck. sorry guys but that is the way it is. so spoo...you arent alone! lol and i dont think anyone would have the nerve to tell my hubby he is limiting himself or denying anything...they may get well....laid out cold! I have a very manly man of 6'4" 225, and very very straight!

just my 2 cents for the day

[robnbarb 40]

Whatever your preference, no one has the right to tell you that you are limiting yourself reguardless. Some people get into thier head that what works for them works for everyone and rarely does it. This happens in every facet of life, from religion to politics to sexual preference. It is unfortunate but all that I can say is stick to what makes you happy and don't worry about them. They can do what they like and all, but who needs to actually do the same to be able to accespt the same.

 

Sorry if I was over the line there being a newbie and all, I just thought I should chime in on this since I had an idea of what might be happening here.

[WesternSwing 504]

Mrs. WS and I were discussing a very similar subject with a hetero vanilla friend a couple of days ago. He insisted that gays are conditioned and can be reprogrammed to be straight. I am under the belief that true gays are born that way and have no more ability to change to straight than I do to become gay. They can't explain why they are only attracted to members of the same sex anymore than I can explain why I'm only attracted to women.

 

Our friend argued that everybody is inherently straight, they just have a bad childhood experience that turns them gay. Yeah, right... To me this doesn't explain why I watched people I grew up with try to be attracted to those of the opposite sex, all the time suffering while trying to do the straight thing and go to proms, movies, and generally date. They never "felt" it like I did. Never.

 

Would it be cool if I could be bi? Probably. When we swing my wife gets twice the action I do. She gets both members of the other couple. I get just one. But I am just not attracted to another man. Period. No matter how hard I try or how much liquor I drink, it's just not going to happen.

 

Now I'm very open minded, and my wife and I have many gay friends, and I actually prefer hanging-out with them than many of our uptight straight friends. I'm not. You are. That's just fine. I have been propositioned on several occasions by gay men, but I'm hopelessly heterosexual, and they don't try to convince me I have a latent gay tendency somewhere. However, I've had the same argument you had with a bi-man.

 

I read a very simple definition posted by someone here a week or so ago, and I loved it. To paraphrase the best I can:

 

Straight = only being attracted to, and falling in love with, those of the opposite sex.

 

Bi = being attracted to those of both sexes, but only being able to fall in love with those of the opposite sex.

 

Gay = being only attracted to, and being able to fall in love with, those of the same sex.

[shygirl0305 24]

My man would join you too. I am bi and he is fine with that. My choice and my desires. But he is very straight. We have both had the gambit of room (house) mates over the years from gay to transgender friends. We love people. But he has shared with me some of his friends efforts to "convert" him or to try to make him see some side of things he hasn't seen before. He told me one room mate kissed him, LOL!! Was a GOOD thing they were the BEST of friends LONG BEFORE this!!! LOL! His friend was just convinced that if he could .... We have no idea what he was thinking ... or do we

 

He said that he has entertained the thought but that it doesn't do anything for him. There is JUST NO SPARK! LOL poor thing. I feel bad for him some times. Our gay friends do say ...well, he is soo tall and thin.. I have also tried to entertain the thought of him being pleasured by a man .. and it to does nothing for me. We HAVE looked at this from every angle we can.

 

I do not quite understand those types of pressures either.

 

Maybe they just have alterior motives facelick . My man just states his feelings and asks that they respect it. It has never been a problem other than a first try (especially with good friends). My boyfriend (of almost 6 years) says he just takes it as a compliment. So maybe you can use that to diffuse the irritation you feel sometimes. He tells them he is flattered but not interested. Now that I think about it maybe saying he is flattered makes them think .... well maybe ..never thought about that before.

 

Sometimes he gets hit on more than me LOL!!

 

Peace!

[Spoomonkey 421]

robnbarb said:

Sorry if I was over the line there being a newbie and all, I just thought I should chime in on this since I had an idea of what might be happening here.

 

Absolutely not! We love newbies around here! I appreciate your input on this thread!

 

 

Shygirl - I can related to being flattered. I got hit on by the pizza guy the other night. I have told the story to everyone I can think of, and they all agree that his was a flat out come on... I was speechless (yeah - it's possible) and had no idea what to say... But - I have to admit - it is kind of cool...

 

I mean, I knew I was hot to chicks... But now I am crossing over...

 

I'm not exactly "bending it like Beckham" - but it is cool to know that I am attractive to both sides of the fence...

 

[robnbarb 40]

This whole thing reminds me of a guy I knew in college, he freely admitted to having sex with another man, but he said "when I kissed him it felt weird, so that makes me not gay."

 

All I could do was laugh, kind of felt sorry for the guy but if he had at least said he was bi I wouldn't have said a word.

[WesternSwing 504]

robnbarb said:

This whole thing reminds me of a guy I knew in college, he freely admitted to having sex with another man, but he said "when I kissed him it felt weird, so that makes me not gay."

 

All I could do was laugh, kind of felt sorry for the guy but if he had at least said he was bi I wouldn't have said a word.

 

This goes back to the whole debate about women can be bi, but men get branded as simply being gay.

 

Mr. WS

[Mephisto 38]

Spoomonkey said:

--- I got hit on by the pizza guy the other night. I have told the story to everyone I can think of, and they all agree that his was a flat out come on... I was speechless (yeah - it's possible) and had no idea what to say... But - I have to admit - it is kind of cool...

 

I mean, I knew I was hot to chicks... But now I am crossing over...

 

This reminds me of a conversation i had once -- A buddy of mine had been out with friends, and there were some Gay men there as well -- Everyone knows that he is Homophobic, but at the end of the night, he was still insulted when none of the Gay men had hit on him.

[good times 991]

Spoomonkey said:

So why can people not accept the fact that I was born straight? I didn't choose it - God made me this way. I don't want to limit my sexual options, but I can't help myself... I like good old T&A - like my father and his father before him... I am not asking to throw a parade or get my own special day at Disney World... I just want to be allowed to live in this heterosexual hell that is my lot in life.

 

I am not "a little" bisexual.

 

I am not "mostly" straight.

 

I just dig chicks. Period... End of story...

 

Exactly, me too, couldn't have said it better myself.

 

Spoomonkey said:

And if I don't figure it out soon, I am going to make my own flag (I am thinking about going with 'Blue') and marching to Washington. I'll call it the "Million Straight Guy" march... But after my discussions with folks, I am not sure I'll be able to find that many to march with me...

 

I'm there dude, I haven't been able to figure this out either. In another thread the suggestion was made that we males were just suppressing our homosexual tendencies and I have taken the same position. I was born this way, no problem with you if you were born some other way, but I was made totally heterosexual.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I don't hate you 'cause you're straight... and I wouldn't hate you if you were bi or gay. You are what you are, I embrace that and I wouldn't want you to be any different. And I would want the same to be expected from me...to always be myself, and be true to myself for who I feel I am. I'm comfortable sharing my sexuality with men and women (I do lean a little more toward men) and I wouldn't want anyone to put thoughts into my head that would make me feel differently about myself. I think there is a lot wrong with trying to convince gay men or lesbian woman they are straight...just accept everyone for who they are, embrace the differences... and enjoy the fact we aren't all alike. It makes life much more interesting.

[BradAndJanet 70]

Spoo, as someone who I suppose is 'a paler shade of gay', I have to say that I disagree with your friend there. Who's to say what another person's sexuality is or should be? I think we're all capable of exploring ourselves without the outside 'help', you know?

 

It's OK to be straight. Can I still come to the march?

[jcbicouple 24]

We are both bi, but certainly don't think everyone is. lol. That's the same mind set as you are either Gay or straight. Small minds think alike.

 

We like the description in another post where the sexuality is on a bar with Straight on one end, gay on the other. We happen to fall in between. Some fall closer to one end than the other, and some are just on the ends, no in between at all. It's all ok. Just don't try to force others to move to where you are.

[Chicup 41]

There are certain things which set some people off.

 

Any thread on weight and male bisexuality is sure to cause it here.

 

Being someone who is 100% straight I know exactly where you are coming from. I think some bisexual males themselves feel a bit guilty about being bisexual and want to justify it by saying all men are bisexual, we just don't know it yet, are homophobic, repressed, or whatever. While I think there are more men with bisexual fantasies then admit to it, I am not one of those males

[sexcouple 15]

I don't think it matters if your gay or straight or bi......but I have always been a little curious about this......I have a brother that is gay (now) but was married before.....Both him and his partner were abused as children and many of their friends that are gay (which I understand that most are not!) were also abused. They think also that most men have gay in them somewhere, I am here to say that my husband will definately be at the march....

 

But I have always wondered why men that were abused by men as children are gay (not all), and some women who were abused by men are lesbians......

 

Just a thought really...but being around gays for a long time....Mr. Spoo is right there are alot of people that feel no one is being honest about their sexual preference.....

[Apt Pupil 15]

I'll be marchin right along side ya. I've got no problem if someone is gay, or bi, or whatever...that's their thing. As long as they don't try to convert me. I'm about as straight as you get. Not homophobic or anything, just plain ol' straight. Gotta have my T&A Why people think that men have some hidden homosexuality to them is a mystery to me. Couldn't tell....just gimme a blue flag and I'll march See you all at Washington

[stoutgatte 25]

I struggle, REALLY struggle to see how anyone can say they are either 100% straight or 100% gay. In my mind we're all bi, some way more to the straight side, others way more to the gay side and others somewhere inbetween... Now I'm not arguing there are a really big bunch of guys really close to the 100% straight mark, and I do believe it's your own choice, but 100% is a BIG number.

 

That said, what does it matter? This came up in another thread, after posting twice I realised how silly it is to carry on about semantics. Yeah, maybe its repressed, maybe gay people really are not born that way, or maybe they are... No matter how you look at it, if a person prefers men/women you're not going to change it by arguing about it.

[Spoomonkey 421]

I struggle, REALLY struggle to see how anyone can say they are either 100% straight or 100% gay.

 

So - what would being a little bit bi look like? I am not afraid to shake hands with men I meet for business, but I've never greeted them with a tonsil-swabbing kiss. I've looked at guys in my Men's Health magazine and thought - "damn, I wish I had abs like that," but I've never wondered what they'd feel like against my back.

 

I don't get the "you're a little bit bi" argument because I can't, for the life of me, figure out how someone would assume such a thing. I would not be interested in sexual congress with a male. So how am I NOT 100% straight?

 

Spoomonkey

[stoutgatte 25]

Spoomonkey said:

So - what would being a little bit bi look like? I am not afraid to shake hands with men I meet for business, but I've never greeted them with a tonsil-swabbing kiss. I've looked at guys in my Men's Health magazine and thought - "damn, I wish I had abs like that," but I've never wondered what they'd feel like against my back.

 

I don't get the "you're a little bit bi" argument because I can't, for the life of me, figure out how someone would assume such a thing. I would not be interested in sexual congress with a male. So how am I NOT 100% straight?

 

OK, you asked for it, so I'm going to explain my thought process...

 

In your opinion, there is no circumstances that you'd ever consider sex with a guy.

 

In my opinion, take you, the right other guy, put the two of you in the perfect circumstances and you will consider a bi experience. This is just my take on things, I'm really not trying to convince you, just yelling out my opinion at the top of my lungs

[Spoomonkey 421]

Okay - so here comes my opinion at the top of MY lungs

 

Let's put me and Mr Goodtimes on a camping trip. I appreciate his wit, his wisdom and his funny glasses... The fire is getting low... The frogs are croaking a beautiful sonnet... I look deeply into his eyes and I say...

 

"So - have any nekkid pics of the missus?"

 

I appreciate your opinion, and I like the heck out of you, but I gotta say that I can't think of a circumstance (short of someone offering me huge chunks of money) that I'd go guy... My motto - "once you go guy, you're forever wondering why..."

 

No - even the most perfect man in the most perfect situation would only make me want s'mores...

[stoutgatte 25]

Mr Goodtimes won't work, he'll never try to charm your pants off !!! Really joking, well except if Mr GT secretly has the hots for you, in which case you just broke his heart And if you secretly have the hots for him

 

Lets drop it... I have no need to convince you, it's just one of those agree to disagree ones...

[good times 991]

Note to self -

 

Camping with the spoomonkeys - good fun.

 

Camping with stoutgatte - watch your back

 

Mr GT here 110% straight.

 

"So - have any nekkid pics of the missus?"

 

"Sure, here you go old pal, while your checking those out I'll be over here with Mrs. Spoomonkey. Take your time, no hurry, those pictures are best pondered slowly."

[stoutgatte 25]

Note to self -

 

Camping with the spoomonkeys - good fun.

 

Camping with stoutgatte - watch your back

 

Hmmm, don't worry cheapskate, ermmm good times, I got it covered

[Spoomonkey 421]

good times said:

"Sure, here you go old pal, while your checking those out I'll be over here with Mrs. Spoomonkey. Take your time, no hurry, those pictures are best pondered slowly."

 

Oddly, I read this to her and she just smiled... Are there camping trip plans in the works that I don't know about???

[good times 991]

stoutgatte said:

Hmmm, don't worry cheapskate, ermmm good times, I got it covered

 

I just can't figure out why everybody seems to make this gross misinterpretation about me. I'm not cheap....I'm frugal.

 

 

Spoomonkey said:

Oddly, I read this to her and she just smiled... Are there camping trip plans in the works that I don't know about???

 

I caught Mrs. GT out sprucing up the old travel trailer just the other day. Maybe we are both in for a surprise and I just didn't ask the right leading questions yet.

[Spoomonkey 421]

good times said:

I caught Mrs. GT out sprucing up the old travel trailer just the other day. Maybe we are both in for a surprise and I just didn't ask the right leading questions yet.

 

Well - in case she's curious, we have MULTIPLE hook ups

[mrs good times 73]

Uh Oh, Mrs. Spoo I think they are on to us.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Quote

Posted by stoutgatte:

 

Let's drop it... I have no need to convince you, it's just one of those agree to disagree ones...

 

You have no need to convince him of what?

 

You are trying to convince a straight man that he would have sex with another man if the circumstances were right.

 

Is it impossible for you to believe not everyone thinks like you?

[stoutgatte 25]

Quote

You have no need to convince him of what?

 

I have no need to convince anyone that my opinion is the right one, I state it and explain it to the best of my ability and in this case share it with the world, but it's my opinion. I'm just saying I'm not trying to convince anyone I'm right, I believe my opinion to be right (else I wouldn't have it) but acknowledge that I might be wrong.

 

 

Quote

You are trying to convince a straight man that he would have sex with another man if the circumstances were right.

 

I'm telling the straight man that I believe he would consider a bi experience in the right circumstances. I'm not trying to convince/force him into agreeing with me. It is my opinion, I might be wrong, as I am about a lot of things, but it remains my opinion. And this board is here so we can share our opinions...

 

 

Quote

Is it impossible for you to believe not everyone thinks like you?

 

I hope the answer is evident from the rest of this post

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

How you can form such a personal opinion about someone you have never met is beyond me.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

spoomonkey said:

I would not be interested in sexual congress with a male. So how am I NOT 100% straight?

stoutgatte said:

In my opinion, take you, the right other guy, put the two of you in the perfect circumstances and you will consider a bi experience.

 

Interesting opinion. We can't say that we agree with it, but we'd like to play devil's advocate for a bit. It is fairly common for otherwise straight men to engage in same-sex activity in a long-term, single-sex environment. The most common example of this is prison sex. One possible theory is that all men, regardless of their orientation, are biologically compelled engage in sex, so they will eventually resort to having it with any available partner. Any thoughts?

[Spoomonkey 421]

Greg & Sheryl said:

Interesting opinion. We can't say that we agree with it, but we'd like to play devil's advocate for a bit. It is fairly common for otherwise straight men to engage in same-sex activity in a long-term, single-sex environment. The most common example of this is prison sex. One possible theory is that all men, regardless of their orientation, are biologically compelled engage in sex, so they will eventually resort to having it with any available partner. Any thoughts?

 

For the record - Stoutgatte and I did some friendly PMing and have agreed to disagree. I don't mind people thinking I'm gay - as long as I don't have to have sex with a guy. Kind of like taking "first available" at a restaurant... As long as I don't HAVE to smoke...

 

So - I trust this thread will stay in the form of a friendly debate

 

The misconception above is that every man who goes to prison for any significant stay will have homosexual relations... That is simply not true. Some do by choice, some do by force, but not every man in a same-sex environment decides to "get a little gay".

 

Now - if you were arguing that they all spanked the monkey, I'd be inclined to agree...

 

I would say that I'm so damn cute that if I went to prison, my sexual choices would be made for me

 

Of course - just thinking about that makes a good shanking almost palatable...

[stoutgatte 25]

Spoomonkey said:

So - I trust this thread will stay in the form of a friendly debate

 

So do I... Please...

 

 

Quote

The misconception above is that every man who goes to prison for any significant stay will have homosexual relations... That is simply not true. Some do by choice, some do by force, but not every man in a same-sex environment decides to "get a little gay".

 

True, but it goes either way, it proves that some 100% straight men are willing to do bi-sexual if no females are around, and that other 100% straight men will not...

 

Thanks for the example Greg & Sheryl. Have been thinking about it for a while, and really struggled to come up with a solid example. This is one...

 

 

Quote

Of course - just thinking about that makes a good shanking almost palatable...

 

You keep saying these little things that make me think: "Hmmmm... "

[Spoomonkey 421]

stoutgatte said:

True, but it goes either way, it proves that some 100% straight men are willing to do bi-sexual if no females are around, and that other 100% straight men will not...

 

Or does it...

 

 

Could it prove which men are REALLY 100% straight and which ones aren't? There is a saying that who you are is truly revealed in extreme circumstances...

[leftcoastcouple 32]

I'm jumping in late here because I just discovered the thread, but since it's not been brought up, and at the risk of uttering the word "Kinsey" (talk about words likely to cause arguments!): I was taught years ago in college that sexual orientation isn't black and white, but that it exists on a continuum. Under this theory, some people fall on one end ("100% straight," such as Spoomonkey), while others fall at the other (completely homosexual). Most of us, the theory goes, fall somewhere in the middle. Most of us are, to varying degrees, bisexual.

 

Studying this concept in a human sexuality class way back when caused me some stress, probably because, as I faced up to years later, I wasn't at the Spoo end, but somewhere closer to the middle than a typical college guy wants to admit to--to himself or anyone else. Now, however, it brings me comfort, with the belief that having occasional bisexual fantasies or feelings isn't "abnormal," as I was raised to believe.

 

This is a theory espoused by Kinsey, which of course to many is a red flag right off the bat. But based on my life experience and observing those around me, I think it's largely valid.

 

Hell, who'd have thought just a few years ago that women would be so relatively free to declare themselves bisexual? Maybe with that barrier broken down, society will continue to evolve, allowing men to be more honest in their sexual self-exploration and more free to declare when they discover that their orientation is "somewhere in the middle." At least I hope so.

[Spoomonkey 421]

leftcoastcouple said:

I was taught years ago in college that sexual orientation isn't black and white, but that it exists on a continuum:

 

I completely agree with this... In fact, one could look at gender and say that there seems to be enough "blending" in some places (transgendered people, hemophradites (sp?), etc.) to suggest that gender itself is a continuum. I'd be willing to buy that.

 

But the point is - there has to be "extremes" for there to be a middle... I am the straight guy by which all bi men can measure themselves

 

The issue for me is when people insist that we are ALL in the middle somewhere. Frankly, I would think that this would be every bit as insulting to homosexuals and bisexuals as it is to those of us who are straight.

 

To be honest - I respect the courage of a bisexual male in the lifestyle - as much as I respect the courage of a homosexual male in the business world. That ain't easy... But as much as I respect it, I can't accept the idea that I am simply "not open" to my own bisexuality... I'm open to it - it just isn't there...

 

But that's okay... Monkey lovin' is illegal in 42 states...

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

mrs good times said:

Uh Oh, Mrs. Spoo I think they are on to us.

 

Good then they can start planning too

 

[Vespertine 31]

This thread reminds me of an old joke.

 

 

Go up to a male friend and ask them (you also have to be male):

 

"If you woke up tied to a tree with a condom hanging out of your ass would you tell someone or keep it to yourself?"

 

(They need to answer)

 

If they say that they would keep it to themself ask them if they want to go camping.

 

Sorry, I know its cheesy. The camping posts & the m/m thing made me do it.

[Spoomonkey 421]

Vespertine said:

This thread reminds me of an old joke.

 

 

Camping is definitely getting a bum rap on this thread...

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

Spoomonkey said:

 

Camping is definitely getting a bum rap on this thread...

 

That's kind of sad since one of my favorite scenes in a Ginger Lynn porn movie was two couples on a camping trip doing it around the fire

[good times 991]

That's kind of sad since one of my favorite scenes in a Ginger Lynn porn movie was two couples on a camping trip doing it around the fire

 

Mrs Spoomonkey

 

I saw that movie, I think we even have it on tape, looks like good campfire fun to me too.

[TexasBlondie 15]

Wow!

 

I read this post's title thinking that the subject was something totally different than it actually is!

 

I thought that this post was by the female half of Spoomonkey as it seems that the female half of couples in the lifestyle are expected to be Bi. I have never seen the guy to be pressured by anyone to be anything but straight.

 

Now, all that said, our female is Bi and that is why we are here in the lifestyle... but that said.... it never ceases to amaze me that the female half of a couple is EXPECTED to be Bi!

 

Hugs,

Texas Blondie

[stoutgatte 25]

leftcoastcouple said:

Hell, who'd have thought just a few years ago that women would be so relatively free to declare themselves bisexual? Maybe with that barrier broken down, society will continue to evolve, allowing men to be more honest in their sexual self-exploration and more free to declare when they discover that their orientation is "somewhere in the middle."

 

Society has a big hand in so many men being "100% straight". Bi-sexuality in men are frowned upon in a big way, and men are raised not to have interest in other men, actually, to look down on those who do. Women are raised with similar values, but all round we have pictures/movies/stories about f-f interaction because it sells to men, as a result the lines are very much blurred there... There are some interesting threads on the board about the whole: "Why men are less bi than women" thing... Like this one. Interesting that 75% of the women voted in favour of seeing their hubbies in a bi-situation.

 

 

Spoomonkey said:

The issue for me is when people insist that we are ALL in the middle somewhere. Frankly, I would think that this would be every bit as insulting to homosexuals and bisexuals as it is to those of us who are straight.

 

I'm not saying you are in the middle, I'm saying you are on the extreme, just more like a 95 - 99% than a 100% straight, i.e., only in truly exceptional circumstances would you consider it. If you were i the middle, this conversation would never take place...

 

SIDENOTE: I'm using Spoo in the example because the thread started with him complaining, me making a statement about what he said, etc... etc... In no way am I implying I know Spoo well enough to make assumptions about his character or sexual behaviour. My statements go way beyond that, I'm making assumptions about the whole of mankind, men and women alike...

 

 

Quote

it never ceases to amaze me that the female half of a couple is EXPECTED to be Bi!

 

She is? Why didn't someone tell me that??? Why didn't someone tell my WIFE that??? I'd love it, but I think I have one of the few women in the lifestyle that isn't bi... It'll be one of those fantasies sitting on the shelf for a loong time... Guess we need those too eh?

[Mrs Spoomonkey 118]

stoutgatte said:

I'm not saying you are in the middle, I'm saying you are on the extreme, just more like a 95 - 99% than a 100% straight, i.e., only in truly exceptional circumstances would you consider it. If you were i the middle, this conversation would never take place...

 

She is? Why didn't someone tell me that??? Why didn't someone tell my WIFE that??? I'd love it, but I think I have one of the few women in the lifestyle that isn't bi... It'll be one of those fantasies sitting on the shelf for a loong time... Guess we need those too eh?

 

First stoutgatte I have enjoyed your posts and bantering with Mr Spoo as well as appreciated the PM's between you two and the fun of having someone to debate and offer opinions to without getting viscous. That said I (for the first time I think) am going to play devils advocate

 

So is your wife 100% straight or is she in that realm of yours that is 95-99% and in the exceptional circumstance of the right person, right time, right place she might be willing to try a little bi with another woman?????

 

Interesting how we have to watch our theories when they turn and point back to us.

 

Just throwing it out there for the sake of the thread.

[stoutgatte 25]

Mrs Spoomonkey said:

That said I (for the first time I think) am going to play devils advocate

 

YAY!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you...

 

Quote

So is your wife 100% straight or is she in that realm of yours that is 95-99% and in the exceptional circumstance of the right person, right time, right place she might be willing to try a little bi with another woman?????

 

She's tried a bi experience and found that it didn't do anything for her, but at the same time says that the right person might be different, so I guess 95% would be just about right Note to self: watch your wording in this thread

 

She asked me last night if I've found that 1 person in the right circumstances yet... Had to say no to that one, but I know I would go along if the situation was perfect. I'm probably more along the 90% line, i.e. I'm not looking for it, and some guy would have to be very lucky to get me to try it.

 

Quote

Interesting how we have to watch our theories when they turn and point back to us.

 

Yeah, is fun eh?

[IndyGirl2004 18]

We have family members who are gay and they feel that some gays are born that way and others are "converts" *S*. We haven't discussed the "you must have gay in you somewhere" comments, but I'm going to see what their opinions are about that. The family members I'm speaking of have been married to those of the opposite sex and have had children, and enjoyed fairly good marriages for a time. In my experience with famiy and friends, there's a lot of baggage around being gay. No one person is exactly like another, nor should she be. Some people might be gay because of problems with the other sex, but the people I know who are gay are so because it's their natural inclination. Maybe, they got off track due to what society and family expected, but they feel they are where they "belong" now.

 

A thought struck me as I read Mr. Spoo's comment about his friend, the one who said he might not be realizing his full sexuality unless he explored the possibility that he might be gay. Is it at all possible that the other person is trying to rationalize his own gayness. Is it possible he doesn't feel truly accepted by those who aren't gay unless those people admit that they might be a scosh (love that word) gay, too? Weird thought, huh? May be silly thought, but it just popped into my head.

 

I don't think anyone should try to push another to "be" anything. Each to her own or his own as long as no one is getting hurt. As Forrest Gump said "that's all I have to say about that"

 

By the way, you guys are pretty funny and it's always interesting to hear what others have to say.

 

Hugs!

[stoutgatte 25]

I think we're all happy to admit that human sexuality is a sliding scale, ie 0 - 100% straight...

 

My point is, and I hope you get it by now, that we never ever can reach the 0% or 100% mark. As in many aspects of life it is possible to get close, but to say you are 100% or 0% would be a fallacy. And this is the point.

 

I'm not saying there is an undiscovered side of you that you need to explore in order to be a happy person, I'm not saying you are lying to yourself, I am asking you to consider that there are circumstances that you may not fathom at the moment where you may actually enjoy it.

 

It all boils down to semantics, as I said earlier in this thread. If you believe yourself to be 100% straight, be 100% straight. As long as you enjoy it...

 

I really enjoyed this thread, it was fun. But I think it's time to move on...

[Spoomonkey 421]

IndyGirl2004 said:

Is it at all possible that the other person is trying to rationalize his own gayness.

 

I actually think that is it. People who are secure in their homosexuality don't seem to have a problem with my heterosexuality... People who are secure in the bisexuality don't seem to have a problem either.

 

Interesting that this thread hasn't been responded to much by bisexual men - and when it has it has pretty much agreed that it is possible for a guy to be straight. Why? Because men who are openly "bi" in the lifestyle most of the time have a pretty good handle on it. But, I think some folks feel the need to justify what they are doing by trying to prove that it is a natural thing that everybody feels...

 

The bottom line is - I know myself. I know myself better than anyone in the world - except my wife - and she is doing her best to explain to me what I don't get yet

 

To tell me that I am in denial about my sexuality is to assume that you know me better than I do... Or to call me a liar... Either of which is deeply offensive*. I am the "rare" 100%. I am straight. I did not choose to be this way - and it was difficult for my parents to deal with when they found out about it when I was twelve and buried in a pile of their porn mags... I am not sure that my dear mother will ever get over my blatant display of heterosexuality...

 

If I could have spared her that pain, I would have...

 

 

*This line is directed at the person who confronted me earlier in the week and caused me to start the thread - not those of you who have generously shared your opinions and input.

[IndyGirl2004 18]

Considering the fact that sexual preference is much more openly talked about now, and considering that many parents from previous generations would probably still prefer that their children be straight, I can only imagine that your mother is happy that she caught you knee deep in the girly mags.

 

By the way, "knee deep" was not my first choice there

 

As far as I'm concerned, it takes all kinds and it certainly makes life more interesting. Now, if we could only learn to play nice more often.

 

Hugs to you all.

[desert_dwellers 18]

This has always bugged me as well. Lets call it "reverse intolerance". The "you're gay and just in denial" bit is the response to "you're really straight but confused" bit. Both have really only one goal, to validate one way and invalidate the other. Fortunately there is room for both.

 

However, as a famous comedian once put it, "You either suck dick or you do not suck dick!". So, being a "little bi" makes no sense to me either.