MFM conundrum

[NC_Seniors 518]

We’ve never done one of these but started talking about it several months ago. At that time, just to see *if* there’d be any interest in us, we unblocked our SLS Profile for single males. We’ve now heard from more than 50! They’ve been weeded down to maybe half a dozen prospects that we’d consider IF we decide to do this at all. (The jury is still out on that.) Today, one of those half dozen, who’s been corresponding with us off and on since a week before Christmas with a single’s Profile, revealed that he’s got a wife who “has no interest in anything sexual anymore”. WTF? Now we don’t know whether to just blow this guy off (figuratively speaking) due to his complete lack of transparency or — if we decide he’s otherwise the first choice — call him out by requiring him to bring her to our first face-to-face. So! If you’ve ever had this happen, how did you deal with it? If you *haven’t* had it happen, how do you think you *would* deal with it? Thank you to all who take the time to reply.

[discreetplay 235]

Ignore this guy and move on. The drama that a married man brings, or at least the risk of that drama, isn't worth the 30-45 minutes of possible enjoyment. 

 

Trying to find a guy to complete an MFM is like trying to find sand on the beach. There are quite a few other options that don't expose you to the risk of finding your rabbit boiling in a pot on the stove.

[AdamGunn2 393]

We met many guys for investigating MFMs. Of course, some of them were married. We got pretty good at figuring out if they were lying about their wives. When they told us their wife was cool with it and we decided to meet for a drink, after a bit we'd ask when they got married - month and year was good enough for our purposes. Then, a bit later in the meet if there was sufficient interest on our part, we'd ask the guy to call his wife to give us permission. And when we got her, we'd ask when they got married. 

 

Needless to say, over half the guys told us they wouldn't call, forgoing any chance with us. Yes, one guy gave us the wrong month and year. Was he a fake who had a friend pretending to be his wife? We'll never know.

 

We did find that guys who were no longer sleeping with their wives (or very rarely,) were usually above average in the sack. So there's that . . .

[kittyswinger 260]

I would be very strict about this if the supposedly single guy is wishing to form a V or Triadic polyamorous relationship with us. Otherwise, if it is just play, I would just ignore him. Or if there is really chemistry between us, and he is clean, then why not? I dont wish to judge nor make assumptions as to what his motivations could be in wishing to swing with us alone, without his spouse's involvement. It would not ruin their home, but a poly relationship will.

Edited January 8 by kittyswinger

[William2001 53]

In my experience, there are many 'Single' married men who are like sharks cruising around looking for sex with other women. The vast majority are not to be trusted. Basically because they are 'Cheating' on their wives and families and being selfish idiots...

 

I have met many good couples and single women and men in the lifestyle and they are the one you should be looking for...

 

In particular 'Single' men are so easy to find... But finding a 'Good' single man is a not as easy as it might be...

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,383]

We live in a day when lots of couples are experimenting with open marriage. Add to that statistically 25% of marriages are sexless, and you have a large pool of married people seeking nsa sexual encounters.

 

We have been contacted by many men (and two women) who said they were in one of those two situations. They rationalize that it's safer and more secure 'dating' swingers than single/vanilla people because they aren't looking for relationships or divorce.

 

Then of course there are just plain cheaters and liars and it can be hard to tell the difference. Talk it out, then go with your gut instincts.

[AdamGunn2 393]

1 hour ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Add to that statistically 25% of marriages are sexless

Would you mind sharing where you got that statistic?

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,383]

10 minutes ago, AdamGunn2 said:

Would you mind sharing where you got that statistic?

It's a number I remember hearing, but after digging around a little it seems I was off, and statistics put it more around 15% - which is still a lot

Link

Edited January 8 by hunterdonNJcpl

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I would let the guy know that the only way he will remain in 'consideration' is if his wife calls (no messages or other non-verifiable methods) and says it is okay for him to participate because she isn't interested in having sex anymore. I doubt you will hear back from him after that...

[PeterJ 940]

1 hour ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

It's a number I remember hearing, but after digging around a little it seems I was off, and statistics put it more around 15% - which is still a lot

Link

It would be interesting to know how the percentage of sexless marriages varies by both age cohort and length of marriage. Anecdotally I’m struck by how many of my over-65 close vanilla friends have either hinted at or come right out and said that their marriages are either literally sexless or effectively so. But while some are frustrated by the lack of partnered sex (others are just fine with not fucking) none of them contemplate ending their marriages or alternatively seeking other partners.

 

On the other hand, through middle age (again anecdotally, looking back decades to others I knew) differing libidos seems to be a major source of conflict and marital dissolution. I have a decades-long close but non-sexual relationship with a woman who divorced her husband a couple of years after their first child was born. When I asked her why they had split (I knew her husband fairly well) she said it was because after their baby was born her husband wouldn’t have sex with her. She didn’t want to cheat on him, but she was willing to turn the rest of her life upside down so she could enjoy a robust erotic life. 

[enhancer 1,584]

How we would have dealt with it when we were still considering other males is stop talking to him!  We would not play with a married guy unless we were playing with his wife.  Really don’t care if they are in a sexless marriage.  That is their problem and if they don’t like it then they always have the option of getting out of that relationship.  Can’t stand deceitful people which in our opinion is a large amount of the men on the sites.  

[shy_couple 459]

We don’t want to play with married “singles,” male or female. 
 

if they are willing to lie and sneak around on the person they professed to love, honor, cherish, and not forsake how the F—k can you trust them to keep a condom on and respect your boundaries. 
 

we try to weed these guys out. We really only play on Saturday nights, mainly due to our schedule. Most married men have trouble sneaking away on Saturday. Big red flag for us is if they are only available weekday, day time. 

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

8 hours ago, PeterJ said:

 Anecdotally I’m struck by how many of my over-65 close vanilla friends have either hinted at or come right out and said that their marriages are either literally sexless or effectively so.

The older-age sexless-lives situation is more closely detailed here https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7489086/  and is worth reading by younger and older people on this list. There are clear correlations between sustained sexual activity and mental health. Whether sex is more or less important than Sudoku, Wordle, Connections and the other puzzles, who knows. But like healthy eating, regular exercise, moderation in alcohol, regular sex correlates with well-being in the older population. 

[Numex 2,409]

21 hours ago, kittyswinger said:

if there is really chemistry between us, and he is clean, then why not? I dont wish to judge nor make assumptions as to what his motivations could be in wishing to swing with us alone, without his spouse's involvement. It would not ruin their home, but a poly relationship will.

You are one of the few people here, or I suppose anywhere, that understands my wife's approach to dating mostly married men during her single days when she wasn't looking for marriage but was looking for sex and an interesting relationship. That relationship involved the wife as an unknowing, yet very much involved, party. Daniela met every one of these wives without them knowing that she was like a spirit involved in their marriage. Daniela always strived to understand both of them and make their relationship better, including buying the wife gifts for the husband to give her and explaining to the husband the wife's side. Daniela said that she never broke up a marriage and left nearly all of them much improved, never worse.

 

When we decided with my encouragement that Daniela's nature is being non-monogamous and that she should seek outside partners without me playing, she expected that she would go back to having relationships with married men. I was totally against it unless the wife knew and approved because I didn't fully understand what she was doing. She never did go back to married men with unknowing wives, but our current situation of swinging with married couples actually suits her much better. Daniela loves being part if couple's sex lives and being able to openly discuss the sex play and relationships with both the husband and wife. With Daniela being very bisexual, she can satisfy that part of herself as well without having other separate relationships with lesbians.

[William2001 53]

From my own experience, I have found that younger men (Say around their early to mid 20's) are more likely to be single and unmarried.

I know that might not be the best options for some older couple, who are looking for someone of their own age group.

 

I have often found that young men can bring a whole new dynamic to a sexual relationship. I knew that my wife often enjoyed having younger men. She enjoyed their energy and honesty.

[William2001 53]

I also would like to add, I also enjoyed watching Rose, my wife, with younger men... In a MFM...

[Numex 2,409]

20 hours ago, William2001 said:

I also would like to add, I also enjoyed watching Rose, my wife, with younger men... In a MFM...

It is a totally different and wonderful experience to watch one's wife in an MFM where you are not one of the M's. It's also different, at least to me, whether I'm watching my wife taking on two other men, while I am sexually engaged with another woman or simply watching. It determines the expectation by both of us whether I'll be jumping right into her afterwards or not. 

 

 

Edited January 10 by Numex

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

On 1/9/2024 at 10:41 PM, Numex said:

It is a totally different and wonderful experience to watch one's wife in an MFM where you are not one of the M's. 

I consider myself very, very fortunate that I've gotten to experience watching my wife with two men. Absolutely thrilling!

[Numex 2,409]

On 1/13/2024 at 5:27 PM, bbarnsworth said:

I consider myself very, very fortunate that I've gotten to experience watching my wife with two men. Absolutely thrilling!

Did you jump in afterwards?

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

18 hours ago, Numex said:

Did you jump in afterwards?

How could I not? :)

 

Though, I didn't want to interject too much. One of them in particular was fantastic for her. She could not get enough sex with him. I didn't want to deny her time having sex with him, when I could have sex with her at home. A week later, she followed this evening up with a solo date with him. Hours and hours of sex. She came home a very happy woman :)

[Numex 2,409]

On 1/15/2024 at 11:55 AM, bbarnsworth said:

She came home a very happy woman

I like when that happens as well.

[couplers 4,615]

On 1/15/2024 at 11:55 AM, bbarnsworth said:

She came home a very happy woman

When our situation was just me, my husband and my boyfriend, it made me incredibly happy not just for the sex I was given, but for the unselfish love it implied. 

 

On 1/14/2024 at 5:49 PM, Numex said:

Did you jump in afterwards?

 

On 1/15/2024 at 11:55 AM, bbarnsworth said:

How could I not?

How could I not let him?

[WesternSwing 504]

I used to feel that we wouldn't play with someone if they were cheating on their spouse. That was 20 years ago and another wife. Today, my thoughts about that have changed, and my wife feels the same way. We are not going to police anyone else's relationship, and we are not going to fault someone for looking for sex outside their marriage is their sexual needs are not being met within the marriage. 

 

When two people become monogamous they are making a pact to each other that they will meet all their partner's sexual needs (within reason) because they have agreed to not fuck anyone else. No one person should be able to unilaterally decide sexual frequency, activities, etc. But that happens often in long term relationships and may relationships move toward being more companionship than romantic. I think that this is where a couple needs to be honest with each other and if one partner is unwilling to meet their partner's sexual needs, they should allow them to seek satisfaction outside the marriage. But that doesn't often happen, if at all, and that's a diffrent post. And sometimes, when a relationship is good other than the sex, getting some elsewhere keeps them from going crazy and being resentful of their partner and keeps them together (which is why maybe they should be openly allowed to seek sex elsewhere. Again, another post.)

 

Currently we are playing with an old friend of mine that is married and he and his wife are open. In fact I met them in the Lifestyle 20 years ago this year and my ex-wife and I played with them often. These days they are still married and still open, but he gets off on her playing by herself and loves to hear about her playtime with others (he's a bit of a cuck), and she has had a regular fuckbuddy for several years. She however does not like to hear about his extracurricular activities, so she is open with him, but prefers a DADT relationship regarding his adventures.

 

The problem with playing with cheating men or women, or people with DADT situations, is that they are married and have responsibilities to their family, which means their playtime will be severely limited and may not always match with when you're available. For instance, our fuckbuddy is only available during the day when his wife is at work. Daytime is also our "money hours". My wife and I are self-employed, but when you're self-employed you wake up every morning unemployed. So we can make time for him, but it does take away from money making activities. He's salaried and works remotely, so he is making money while we are fucking. We aren't. We also watch a grandkid several days a week to help our daughter save money on daycare. So all this creates scheduling issues.

 

They may also not be able to make a playdate if something comes up with their spouse and you'll get stood up. Throughout the decades that I've been in and out of the Lifestyle I've found this to without exception to be the case. You are going to be stood up, and stood up often by cheating spouses and people with DADT situations. If you're okay with that, then I say: Game On. 

 

 

[NC_Seniors 518]

Yet more… heard from a single — allegedly — male whose profile is woefully lacking any meaningful content, has no pictures, and says he likes “daytime meetings during the week.” We’re pretty sure this one is a no-go!   ;-D

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

😆Yeah BS meter pegging 9.5 on that one, NC_Seniors!

 

Have patience; there are very good single males out there in the lifestyle. You might need to a bit of filtering and sifting, but I'm sure you'll find a good one and your wife will be very, very happy :)

 

[WesternSwing 504]

On 2/5/2024 at 5:45 PM, bbarnsworth said:

😆Yeah BS meter pegging 9.5 on that one, NC_Seniors!

 

Have patience; there are very good single males out there in the lifestyle. You might need to a bit of filtering and sifting, but I'm sure you'll find a good one and your wife will be very, very happy

 

There certainly are good single guys out there. In fact, there are some golden single guys out there. I've been friends with a couple single guys I met in the lifestyle for going on 20 years now. But, you'll wade through a lot of no-goes for sure.

 

I don't know what swingers site you are on, but I would look at contacting some single guys yourself, and if you have the option to, I would filter by those only are certified, have photos, and have been active in the past 30 days or so. 

[NC_Seniors 518]

35 minutes ago, WesternSwing said:

There certainly are good single guys out there. In fact, there are some golden single guys out there. I've been friends with a couple single guys I met in the lifestyle for going on 20 years now. But, you'll wade through a lot of no-goes for sure.

 

I don't know what swingers site you are on, but I would look at contacting some single guys yourself, and if you have the option to, I would filter by those only are certified, have photos, and have been active in the past 30 days or so. 

Yeah, we *thought* there are good ones. Have to be … seen too many stories on here of how much some couples absolutely LOVE their MFMs!  We know it’ll be somewhat of a slog, but in the end it’ll be worth the effort.
 
Our swingers site account is on Ess Ell Ess (read it phonetically). We can search on our own there using the criteria you mentioned — plus those who are *paid* — but we’re not quiiiiite ready to do that yet. We unblocked our Profile to singles back in late October and we’ve heard from around 60 males. (NO females … go figure!) 50 or so are rejects for various reasons, but the other 10 are worth considering and 2-3 seem like gems. The absolute best of the lot, judging from his introductory message and profile, lives two hours from here …  we likely wouldn’t have searched that far away. But it’s in a NC coastal city that we love to visit anyway, so it wouldn’t be a huge burden to pay him a visit even if we don’t click. We’d still have a nice dinner and drinks, and get to spend another weekend in a place we enjoy … WIN WIN!

[couplers 4,615]

9 hours ago, NC_Seniors said:

how much some couples absolutely LOVE their MFMs!

MFMs work because a woman can satisfy multiple men much better than a man can satisfy two women.  

[Billygoat 443]

@couplers
 yes so true.  It all depends on her interest and desire

 

We have had a number of solo males and several solo females over the years that were in a sexless marriage/relationship that ranged from medical, distance, lost interest….but still married.  In our experience all were over 45 yo and the oldest was a lovely woman who at the time was 67 (2004).

 

All had no issue with having us check that out. All had hall passes from their spouse.  A few we developed a social friendship with.  It worked because it was just sex.  
 

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1367096/us-sexless-marriage-by-generation/  

 

we also have advised couple and singles interested to attend a house party or club.  You will find willing participants join in a safe/friendly enviroment.

 

And usually the hosts at the party can point you in the right direction.

[couplers 4,615]

22 hours ago, Billygoat said:

@couplers
 yes so true.  It all depends on her interest and desire

Thanks for sharing your experiences. 

[couplers 4,615]

23 hours ago, couplers said:

MFMs work because a woman can satisfy multiple men much better than a man can satisfy two women.  

Having said that, I much prefer FFMs when it's a threesome.  The dynamics are better and I'm bi.  If I'm going to be with multiple guys, I like them one at a time.  More than one dick at a time I find somewhat annoying.  (Unless it's DP.)

[ChristianSwinging 59]

2 hours ago, couplers said:

If I'm going to be with multiple guys, I like them one at a time.  More than one dick at a time I find somewhat annoying.  (Unless it's DP.)

With mfm it really depends on how the two men harmonize, how well the woman harmonizes with both and how well the men adapt to the woman's wishes.

My wife also prefers to take one at the time. She said she likes to focus on one. But after some experiences she doesn't mind having a second one in her mouth now. The reason is that she sometimes likes to vent her feelings that the penis in her vagina creates to the man in her mouth.

But I can understand a woman's preference for FFM. Especially because it is much more sensual and emotional and as a woman you certainly feel less dominated.

 

[Billygoat 443]

With us it varied often.  We hosted Coffee Time and Six Degrees East of Eden.  Both were private to semi private house/hotel party/events/gatherings by invite only, not open for walk ins.

 

The most requested events were multiple males for women that attended.  Coffee Time was open room group play on Sunday mornings 10am to 2pm.  It allowed members of our group to attend easily without having to make up a story on where and what they were doing and younger couples to easily attend needing baby sitters, much easier in the daytime.  This is also the group that we organized fantasy events based on what the couple/wife/woman wanted to experience in a controlled/safe environment.  Six Degrees East of Eden was more open, by invite house party.  Usually Saturday night.

 

Between our two groups the most requested in order; MFM, MMFMM, MMFMMFMM, MMFFMM, FFFF (any number all female/kitten pile), mixed group/orgy, FMF and FFM.  In reality the FMF was the shortest event in time frame, most guys didn’t last long 15-30 minutes tops, some would have erection issues, many/most were awkward about multi tasking with two woman at the same time and focused on one more than the other.  With so many ladies wanting more than one it kept the husbands, boyfriends and single/solo men more than busy.  Many of the MFM and MMFMM lasted 1.5-4 hours, with breaks.  Usually one guy would cum and by the time the other guy popped the earlier guy(s) recovered and ready for round two.  Also except for a few request there wasn’t any bi male activity.  However, not being shy or phobic about close activity to pleasure the woman made the event much better for the woman/women attending.

 

It was interesting to witness that the Queen and all the regular lady members varied often on how they wanted to be treated.  One at a time didn’t happen often as our regular playtime provided that.  More sensual two or three men at one time was more normal.  Not porno style as you would think, again most guys wouldn’t last very long.  But more like two to three pairs of hand caressing her whole body, the men sharing a woman, one kissing, one on her breasts one going down on her and then the guys swapping off/changing positions giving her varied sensations. First timers we always interviewed, discussed and offered suggestions.  We never, ever had a bad or troubled event.  
 

And it was up to the woman on how she wanted it all to play out.  And most of our lady members varied often from erotic/loving/sensual to porno/use me/take me experiences and everything in between.

 

For over 12 years we hosted variations of multiple men for women in every imaginable fashion, role play etc.  upwards of twenty or more per year.

 

 

 

[couplers 4,615]

21 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

after some experiences she doesn't mind having a second one in her mouth now.

I don't mind when it starts, but as I get into the fucking and closing in on orgasm, I breathe heavily and don't want a dick in my mouth.  And I like to kiss the guy I'm fucking.

 

21 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

I can understand a woman's preference for FFM. Especially because it is much more sensual and emotional

Yes, that plus I just like pussy and tits.  Especially with a woman who has just had sex with one of "my" men.

[ChristianSwinging 59]

On 2/9/2024 at 1:18 PM, couplers said:

I don't mind when it starts, but as I get into the fucking and closing in on orgasm, I breathe heavily and don't want a dick in my mouth.  And I like to kiss the guy I'm fucking.

My wife also really loves kissing the guy she is fucking.
But as I have found out, it varies depending on the man, the desire and the intensity.
Sometimes she just wants a nice, soulful cuddly fuck where it's all about deep feelings of pleasure and slowly (and forcefully alternating), deep love making.

Here she generally wants to concentrate much more on him and only his cock and not have an additional cock in her mouth.
And sometimes she also loves to be fucked properly.

In this situations she loves to have my cock in her mouth to let out all her feelings through the hard, deep thrusts on me and my cock.
Both are absolutely impressive situations. Even though she once bit my cock out of pure pleasure 😉

 

On 2/9/2024 at 1:18 PM, couplers said:

Yes, that plus I just like pussy and tits.  Especially with a woman who has just had sex with one of "my" men.

This shows your love and respect to the women and the men you love and feel connected to.

"Your" men and women would feel very loved and valued in that situation you enjoy her body after sex. It's very lovable  🥰

[couplers 4,615]

4 minutes ago, ChristianSwinging said:

it varies depending on the man, the desire and the intensity.
Sometimes she just wants a nice, soulful cuddly fuck where it's all about deep feelings of pleasure and slowly (and forcefully alternating), deep love making.

For us in our poly family, the hard quick ones are usually weekday mornings when time is short.  The men just want release.  The love making is when we have more time and a connection develops between two or three of us. 

 

I like it both ways and can orgasm quickly with a guy (or both) when needed, so all is good.  If Lora or especially Clair doesn't cum, I love going down on her to finish her off (and lick cum).

[ChristianSwinging 59]

8 hours ago, couplers said:

I like it both ways and can orgasm quickly with a guy (or both) when needed, so all is good.  If Lora or especially Clair doesn't cum, I love going down on her to finish her off (and lick cum).

Very nice, that you can enjoy a quicky so much.

You seem to get along well with many constellations. But usually open people like you have certain preferences.

Are there any special ones?

With a man or a woman, or with both of Thema, you prefer two or three, maybe even four?

If Lora or Clair don't have an orgasm, does that mean each of them fucks with one man or one man for both? Then it could happen that a woman doesn't get a chance to cum.

I still don't fully understand how many of you actually are and who usually hangs out with whom, sorry 🙈

It must certainly be complicated to organize this togetherness, who has time for whom or how the desire for intimacy is divided.

 

For me a quicky puts pressure on me and I can't relax very well If I know there is not enough time. 

My wife needs also some time to have an orgasm but I'm sure she sometimes would  have enough desire to cum very fast if she would have the time for a quick fuck.

Another important thing is that the work involves us a lot and so we are often a little exhausted or tired.

If nobody is on night shift an we See each other we sometimes have a bit time for cuddling.

So it's always nice, even if rare, to have some time and desire for a beautiful threesome afternoon or evening that only belongs to lust and love.

[couplers 4,615]

14 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

I still don't fully understand how many of you actually are and who usually hangs out with whom

I Petra lived with my fiancé Red, until I called it off and moved out.  But we kept seeing one another.  Then I met David and we started dating and having sex, all the while I was still visiting Red to talk about it and have sex.  Having two men going both made me feel guilty (I was raised strict Catholic) but it also felt right, natural.

 

Because I spoke openly about Red (but not that we were still fucking), David quickly figured it out, and when I thought that he was going to dump me, David calmly said it's ok.  At first I went back and forth between them, but eventually we ended up doing MFMs sometimes. 

 

David and I married, but nothing changed with Red.  I was jealous and not interested in sharing, so the guys remained monogamous with me.  I tried hard to keep them satisfied.  After two years, eventually something snapped in me and I began setting up David with female friends and acquaintances of mine for sex.  (In our early twenties, it was surprising how many women were eager for another woman's husband.)  I was still extremely jealous, but loved it and it brought out my Lesbian side. 

 

Clair became a regular, we fell in love with her and she moved in with David and me.  Clair became pregnant by David, was upset, and offered to abort but we wanted her to keep it and I decided to get pregnant too.  I went pot luck with both Red and David.  Having those children cemented us as a family.

 

We also played with Lora, who brought in her boyfriend/fiancé/husband Walter to play along.  Eventually, Lora and David fell in love and when Walter took a job on the other coast Lora stayed with us and divorced Walter. 

 

Lora, Clair, and I had a second round of children.  We bought and moved into a very large house.  Clair and Lora had two more kids.  We are now a thriving family of five adults and seven children.  I'm often astounded how we got here.

 

I consider ourselves in the lifestyle, but not really swingers, although we have occasionally played and are currently involved with one other couple occasionally, just for fun sex.

[couplers 4,615]

14 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

usually open people like you have certain preferences.

Are there any special ones?

Clair, Lora, and I all prefer FFM.  It satisfies both sides of our bisexuality.  Although I will admit, it is still great when both of the guys just take me.  Quickly, one after the other. 

 

14 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

With a man or a woman, or with both of Thema, you prefer two or three, maybe even four?

Twosome or threesome is my preference, but then I can go with another one or two afterwards.  It's the guys that run out of capability before the women. 

 

14 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

If Lora or Clair don't have an orgasm, does that mean each of them fucks with one man or one man for both?

It depends on who is up for what.  Anything is possible, except the two guys together. 

 

14 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

It must certainly be complicated to organize this togetherness

With us living together and sharing child care responsibilities, it's easy.  It's usually spontaneous, not organized. 

Edited February 11 by couplers

[couplers 4,615]

14 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

a quicky puts pressure on me and I can't relax very well If I know there is not enough time. 

My wife needs also some time to have an orgasm but I'm sure she sometimes would  have enough desire to cum very fast

The morning time pressure is part of the excitement of it.  We women are almost always able to climax with or ahead of our guys because we know they have down time after ejaculation.  With two men and three women, one of the guys usually has to get one of us women off before he cums, then finish in another.  And if all else fails, there's the quick licking...

[Numex 2,409]

On 1/15/2024 at 11:55 AM, bbarnsworth said:

I didn't want to interject too much.

You did right by injecting afterwards.

[ChristianSwinging 59]

7 hours ago, couplers said:

With two men and three women, one of the guys usually has to get one of us women off before he cums, then finish in another.  And if all else fails, there's the quick licking...

Normally he doesn't necessarily have to change a woman before cumming unless all 3 want to be delighted with his cock so that none of them go away empty-handed. 😊

One possibility for two women can be pleased by a single man at the same time would be when both women would lie on top of each other, preferably both in doggy style, so he can always change quickly between the top and the bottom one. 

It is such a nice variant for a FFM threesome where both gets the same attention and love from him.🥰

He just has to decide in which of you both he ultimately cums in.

I think for both it can be always a really fun and exciting surprise who gets his sperm at this time.🤭

This should be absolutely divided fairly so that every woman regularly gets this special pleasure.

 

In a polyamorous relationship with two or more women, for me it would be an absolutely great need to give my love to all of the women equally.

I could imagine this position would be a nice way for me with two.

If there are 3 women in a relationship with a man, it would be better to lick one of them during the intercourse with the other two and change, as constantly switching the cock into all 3 would make everything very restless and hectic.

As you have already written, a woman has more ability and easiness to please multiple men than the other way around.😉

Finally in such a beautiful situation with two or three women that I love, it would be so sad that as a man I could only cum in one of them.

[ChristianSwinging 59]

11 hours ago, couplers said:

I Petra lived with my fiancé Red, until I called it off and moved out.  But we kept seeing one another.  Then I met David and we started dating and having sex, all the while I was still visiting Red to talk about it and have sex.  Having two men going both made me feel guilty (I was raised strict Catholic) but it also felt right, natural.

Nothing is wrong and all you've done is so natural.

It's nice you didn't hide your feelings towards both and you enjoyed the sex with the two guys like it should be for an open minded person.😊

 

11 hours ago, couplers said:

 

Because I spoke openly about Red (but not that we were still fucking), David quickly figured it out, and when I thought that he was going to dump me, David calmly said it's ok.  At first I went back and forth between them, but eventually we ended up doing MFMs sometimes. 

Through the beautiful MFMs you brought both men and the three of you together and through sex with you you united all wonderfully.☺️

 

11 hours ago, couplers said:

 

David and I married, but nothing changed with Red.  I was jealous and not interested in sharing, so the guys remained monogamous with me.  I tried hard to keep them satisfied.  After two years, eventually something snapped in me and I began setting up David with female friends and acquaintances of mine for sex.  (In our early twenties, it was surprising how many women were eager for another woman's husband.)  I was still extremely jealous, but loved it and it brought out my Lesbian side. 

So nice to hear how you support David and open the marriage for him. 

Why did you give him these sexual opportunities and freedoms with friends?

It's simply because of love for him?

 

To be Jealous is normal and your benefit is some beautiful lesbian sex with girls.

I'm sure a married husband is often a good choice as lover. They are mostly lustful, very social and potent I saw in the past.

We often had them in the club and they fucked my wife often very beautifully and passionately.

 

11 hours ago, couplers said:

Clair became a regular, we fell in love with her and she moved in with David and me.  Clair became pregnant by David, was upset, and offered to abort but we wanted her to keep it and I decided to get pregnant too.  I went pot luck with both Red and David.  Having those children cemented us as a family.

It's so nice David has given you and Clair a child as a sign of Love and you all kept the child. 💞

So nice you love and accept also Clairs child like your own and I can feel, there's so much love in your whole poly family.❤️

 

11 hours ago, couplers said:

Eventually, Lora and David fell in love.

 

Lora, Clair, and I had a second round of children. 

Clair and Lora had two more kids.  We are now a thriving family of five adults and seven children.  I'm often astounded how we got here.

 

I consider ourselves in the lifestyle, but not really swingers, although we have occasionally played and are currently involved with one other couple occasionally, just for fun sex.

It's great that you all have so many children together and that your sex life hasn't diminished as a result of that.

I wouldn't classify you as swingers either.  You are too much in love with each other for that and I love such open families where love is an important part.

If I understood correctly, you are 3 women who have a relationship with David and Red is a lover of you all who does not have children with you? 

Do you 3 want some kids from him at some point or from another man in the future?  

Or do you really live out your love and sex with each other first?

Is sex with you 3 women always quite balanced or is someone sometimes disadvantaged?

I can well imagine that lesbian sex between the three of you is a great support because a man is not available all the time. Maybe Red is sometimes helping out.

I hope you all have enough time for lovemaking and passionate sex. 

I think you all have a lot of love and Sex for each other in that relationship.💓

[couplers 4,615]

8 hours ago, ChristianSwinging said:

Why did you give him these sexual opportunities and freedoms with friends?

It's simply because of love for him?

No, it wasn't because of my love for him.  A female friend and I were sort of talking about sex and she said it must be nice "sleeping" with David.  (He's quite attractive.)  She had flirted with him before in front of me and it made me jealous.  So I said to her, "It can be arranged."  I went home and told (told, not asked) David to fuck her.

 

It was a matter of control for me.  It was my decision that I chose her for him and showed her that I controlled him.  And it showed me that I could contain my jealousy. 

 

Yeah, after the first several times it was that I wanted to give him what he gave me. But I still supplied and controlled the women.

 

 

Edited February 12 by couplers

[let's do it again 414]

1 hour ago, couplers said:

No, it wasn't because of my love for him.  A female friend and I were sort of talking about sex and she said it must be nice "sleeping" with David.  (He's quite attractive.)  She had flirted with him before in front of me and it made me jealous.  So I said to her, "It can be arranged."  I went home and told (told, not asked) David to fuck her.

 

It was a matter of control for me.  It was my decision that I chose her for him and showed her that I controlled him.  And it showed me that I could contain my jealousy. 

 

Yeah, after the first several times it was that I wanted to give him what he gave me. But I still supplied and controlled the women.

 

 

This is so interesting to me, I always wondered why more women don't realize their power in relationships and sex. I viewed women giving a man oral sex and having the power over him in her mouth and hand .

[couplers 4,615]

22 hours ago, let's do it again said:

I always wondered why more women don't realize their power in relationships and sex.

It was an odd way too for me to exert that power, from telling David and Red that I would give them whatever they wanted sexually and as much as they wanted but from me only, to setting David up with a stream of women so as for me to play with my own jealousy.  (Red started later, so for a while I had a husband who played and a boyfriend who didn't.)  Neither complained.  Guys just want sex, they don't care so much about which woman. 

 

It did, however, turn out for the best, we all found love in Clair, I discovered my Lezzie side, Clair got pregnant and we started a family. 

 

 

Edited February 13 by couplers

[couplers 4,615]

On 2/9/2024 at 5:02 AM, Billygoat said:

East of Eden

East of Eden is the Land of Nod, where Adam and Eve were banished after the fall.  It's also a John Steinbeck novel.

 

On 2/9/2024 at 5:02 AM, Billygoat said:

open room group play on Sunday mornings 10am to 2pm.  It allowed members of our group to attend easily without having to make up a story on where and what they were doing

Nothing needs to be made up. You were at church, getting closer to God and calling out His name.

 

On 2/9/2024 at 5:02 AM, Billygoat said:

the FMF was the shortest event in time frame, most guys didn’t last long 15-30 minutes tops

Our guys may have decreased in the number of orgasms that they can have in a session, but are able to maintain an erection for quite a while, up to an hour.  This allows them to get multiple women to orgasm before they ejaculate.