Just thinking

[Just Curious Right Now 1]

My wife and I have been together for over 25 years.  I have had a few partners before her but I was her first.  As we age (me almost 50 and her 45) I now am having trouble keeping up with her.  I have nerve issues so sometimes there is no lift off (even with meds) or sometimes I cannot move without hurting, and all the time she is ready.  I have always been faithful to her and now she is asking about another couple or just her a second person.  While I don't want to share her I am thinking I am going to share her, with my permission or without.  

Part of me says, why not, I get new (even check a few boxes on my wish list) and so does she but then again I worry one of us will be happy and the other one not.  

Right now I am just trying to lay low with this and see where things go but any thoughts? Ideas? Advise?  

 

[njbm 2,901]

My first thought is new neurologist or urologist for you. Although we are enthusiastic swingers, I think that there is more that can be done for you.  

[Just Curious Right Now 1]

Idiopathic Peripheral Neuropathy, treat the symptoms is all you can do, already see the best Nuero guy in the areas

Sometimes I have  no issues, sometimes I need a little yellow pill but sometimes I need Trimix.

 

[njbm 2,901]

Understand. We have a good friend who uses trimix. Aging presents sexual problems for both sexes. The partner deserves a sex life. You are certainly doing all you can do to keep it going. Not sure swinging is going to solve your situation. Let’s see what others say. 

[William2001 53]

I have had some comments to make about your problem... When I was still single I met a couple where the husband had similar physical problems and as a couple they were looking for a single male for the wife to enjoy a better sex life within their marriage. I played my part in giving the wife an enjoyable experience and the husband was always present.

 

Both were very happy with their married life and the wife enjoyed a full sex life, playing, orgasms and the husband also enjoyed being  watching and joining in when he could...

 

They found balance between being a older couple but still being sexually active...

They trusted each other and had no intentions of parting and leaving each other...

 

If you are in a good marriage and happy with your life, playing with others to satisfy your sexual urges should not only make you happy but enhance your life as a couple...  💞

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,421]

We're a bit older than you, similar situation, and very much enjoying the 'hotwife' lifestyle. Swinging doesn't have to be all couples-swap even-steven, it can be more one-sided. What's important is that you're both enjoying it and feeling good about it.

 

She won't do anything without your permission, and what reason would you have to deny her? She won't leave you. She'll love you even more for letting her have it all and not making her choose.

 

And trust me, you'll have a pretty good time along the way too!

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

A remark from a physician. 

 

Everyone ages. How they age, what issues arise, how those issues appear...all of that is different from one person to the next, and one couple to the next. It is the rule rather than the exception that libido, capability, stamina, soreness, dryness, responsiveness to medications, etc change as humans journey through the arcs of their lives.  What matters is how the person(s) adapt as individuals and as a couple.  Intimacy and passion do not have expiration dates, but physical capacities do have "best by" dates. That does not mean that sex cannot be enjoyed, but it does mean that it is likely going to feel different and be different. 

 

Of course you should seek medical advice. And even more important, you should have the kitchen table conversations (note the plural) about all aspects of aging and how you as a couple will handle those issues. From a general health standpoint, I often remark to my patients the following. Let's assume that you have the gift of continuing on life's journey together. Imagine four couples on the journey. Let's look at long-term care needs. One couple, neither will need long term care; two couples, one of the partners will need long term care; the last couple, both partners will need long  term care.  Do the math, and you'll realize that there is a 3/4 chance that at least one of the two of you will need long term care, a 50:50 chance that it will be *you*, and a 1/4 chance that it will be *both of you*.  How will you handle each of those scenarios?  It's a short step from there to asking, how are we going to handle decline in sexual interest/capacity?  The breakdown is pretty much the same--there's a 50:50 chance that there will be an asymmetry.

 

 

[Numex 2,459]

21 hours ago, Just Curious Right Now said:

I now am having trouble keeping up with her.  any thoughts? Ideas? Advise?

My advice is that if you love your wife then why leave her with unfulfilled needs? Even if you weren't having any problems in the performance regard, she has a desire to explore so not only let her, encourage her. Tell her that it would make you happy to see her happy. Let her choose the partner(s) and the when, where and how. Listen if she wants to talk about it before or afterwards, but don't interrogate her, and never criticize her choices.

 

I sensed early in our marriage that my wife would enjoy the freedom to explore her sexuality. I encouraged her to do so and it strengthened our marriage and she loves me more than ever, and I her.

[Just Curious Right Now 1]

We talked the other day and I am not sure whre this may go but we are talking.  I suggested another couple to start iwht and she seemed not on that page.  I think she is wanting more open and not so much swapping, bot sure I am ok with this.  She does understand my reservation to sharing but I also understand her needs, she refers to her sex drive as that of a teen age boy, more than one night recently she had to go to her toy drawer in the middle of the night.  

  

I am excited about the thought of trying a different size/shape/look to a partner, all of my past have all had the same basic look, about the same size (chubby) and height.  She expressed concern about me keeping up with my IPN but a good dose of Trimmix can gat me easaly half to an hour of solid erection and I have a pretty good turn abound time for round two.  

 

What I want to start with is finding a couple to talk to , just sit down and talk with but not sure how to find a cuple, we live in Central Texas and have not seen any clubs in our area.  

[bbarnsworth 2,652]

If we were local to you, we'd be happy to sit down and talk. Unfortunately, we're over 800 miles aware as the crow flies.

 

Something to consider (and I agree with where people noted above); it's your wife's sex drive that's intense. So, would you entertain the thought of finding single males? I can tell you from direct experience that sharing your wife with another man in an MFM scenario is a very enjoyable experience (at least for me, but it is so for many other men as well). My wife has had two long term boyfriends over the years, and got great satisfaction from doing so. Based on what little we know so far, it sounds like this sort of scenario might be a good match for the two of you both.

 

If you're willing to consider the single male approach, let us know. We can give you a lot of advice on how to make that a good or even great experience.