For the women: Receiving oral

[Starting late 123]

A question for the women:

 

I've always considered myself pretty darn good when it comes to giving a woman oral. I truly enjoy it, and could spend the whole night doing it! I wholly subscribe to the theory that "licking sucks, sucking rocks." And with my wife's newfound proclivity for squirting during oral, I have been patting myself on the back a lot lately   

 

My wife likes the way I go about things, but now that we are (slowly) branching out into sex with others, it got to me thinking: 

 

What exactly do women like when receiving oral? Does technique matter? Do I need to keep the same rhythm, or mix it up. Fast? slow? Concentrate on the clit, or take in the entire scene? Suzy likes it when my hands roam - caressing her body, tits and nipple play, a little bit on the asshole...and I like the idea of making it an entire body sensation. But I'd love to hear what other women like.  

[ExploringOptions 185]

I figure if you have to ask you aren’t doing it right. Every woman will react differently and will respond when you do it the way she likes. 

[PeterJ 948]

Starting Late, I’m going to assume you didn’t just post this because you wanted a thrill from reading women write about receiving oral. (You’ll note that none have responded.) As a male who has given oral to well over 100 women over the years, I will offer a couple of observations.

 

I had a bi-female FWB who appreciated the quality of the oral I gave her sufficiently that she arranged for one of her female partners to join us. She told me that men generally were better at cunnilingus that gay or bi women because "women just assume you’ll want to get licked the same way they do." For sure I didn’t make that assumption. It’s remarkable how differently women want to be orally pleasured. Some like the lightest of tongue, licking labia until they are sufficiently aroused that they want direct clitoral stimulation. Women are all over the place in how they want to receive oral. Some like a firmer approach. Sometimes a lot firmer. An FWB when I was in grad school once urged me to get my teeth engaged with her clit. For most women I’ve known even a gentle nibble from me would have brought an abrupt end to the session. This woman wanted a lot of teeth. After a gentle dental caress she said "Harder! Bite it harder! Why do you think they call it eating?" 😂

 

My recommendation to you is that if you find yourself with a woman where the opportunity to give her head presents itself, you should ask her upfront about how she likes to be eaten, and tell her you want at least a bit of feedback about what feels good and what feels better. Don’t you do that when you are receiving a blowjob?

[couplers 4,640]

11 hours ago, PeterJ said:

you should ask her upfront about how she likes to be eaten

The question that I find important to ask each time, because even for the same woman the preference will change depending on the occasion, is whether she wants to be digitally penetrated in her vagina, bum, or both.  I always ask when I go down and have it asked of me.

 

When penetration is requested, it's usually the index and middle in the pussy and the ring finger in the bum hole.  That's my preference. 

 

Otherwise, there's usually no further discussion.  A good partner can sense what's working.  (Hint: for me, tonguing my vag isn't one of them, it's just not enough stimulation.  Just stick to licking my clit.)

[NWAtlSwing 522]

I like direct clit licking .... until I don't! It really depends. The good man is the one who reads me as he does it.

[lcmim 1,082]

Use your ears more than your mouth. Things change even during a session.

Hearing , recognizing and responding to the clues is a good thing.

I try to start gently and run through my basic menu and go from there.

[MidwestHoneys 358]

Been with enough women to know there is no best way. If you are with someone enough times you will learn the signs she gives. 
We both enjoy oral sex to the point that many times we just have oral. 69 we kid is the breakfast of champions a funny saying we heard many times. Her on top a get to explore her pussy going from one spot to another with her shifting to what is working even rubbing her clit on my nose. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

Was it Eddie Murphy who suggested to write the alphabet with your tongue?

 

Every woman seems to like it a bit different. My wife likes it gentle, the wife of a couple we play with likes it the opposite.

[discreetplay 235]

It differs. Just as every man likes his BJ a little different, us ladies like different things. The women I've given oral to don't follow the same pattern I enjoy. And the ones I've been with more than once aren't always consistent each time. Sometimes gentle tip-of-the-tongue on the clit is it...other times it is a nibble here or there...maybe a finger should be worked in.  

 

Basically you have to play the room. Pay attention to the reaction of the person you're giving oral to. Take mental notes on what gets a reaction. Note 2-3 different things and rotate between them. Eventually you'll be able to determine that rank of those things, or the receiver will tell you where to stay as they approach orgasm.

[ROCKlandCpl 451]

On 1/18/2024 at 7:43 PM, PeterJ said:

women just assume you’ll want to get licked the same way they do."

That was me the first time I attempted oral sex on a woman hiding my nerves with enthusiasm trying to return what she did to me. Lucky for me my first woman was patient and directed me. 
To answer what do I like is all the things the poster is doing. In the context of swinging I enjoy all the different techniques partners try, no two partners are exactly the same. Vive la difference. 

[couplers 4,640]

On 1/18/2024 at 9:37 AM, Starting late said:

the theory that "licking sucks, sucking rocks."

There is some truth to this.  It's not all the tongue, although that certainly the majority of it.  Using the lips and some suction is part of the game.  And speaking of lips, attention to the labia is like oral foreplay.

 

 

Edited January 20 by couplers

[Starting late 123]

Suzy is not very vocal during sex, and oftentimes doesn't talk about it after. That, plus the fact that we've only had 2 experiences in the lifestyle so far, and they've both been very recent - so after 30 years of monogamous marriage, the last time I went down on anyone besides Suzy, I was a clueless 20 yo that, lets be honest, didn't care about much else besides getting off. But with age comes wisdom, one hopes.

 

[TnA83 309]

23 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Was it Eddie Murphy who suggested to write the alphabet with your tongue?

 

Every woman seems to like it a bit different. My wife likes it gentle, the wife of a couple we play with likes it the opposite.

Sam Kinison!

[Sophy 569]

As a bi-woman, I do like to do oral to a girl as much as I like to receive it.

Every woman is different; depending on our mood, we may want one thing or a mix of different things.

Rather than relying on a particular technique, you should do it passionately and always pay attention to your play partner. Listen to her moans and breathing, and pay attention to the subtle movements she makes; she will guide you in the right direction.

Do not be afraid to innovate or improvise at the moment; you will be surprised how many of us like to get our asses eaten, for example.

 

 

[couplers 4,640]

4 hours ago, Sophy said:

As a bi-woman, I do like to do oral to a girl as much as I like to receive it.

Me as well.  My favorite is an FFM situation where one of us women is in the middle.  It's totally different whether I'm in the middle fucking the guy while eating her (extra points if she's sloppy), or I'm lying back being eaten and watching the MF action, but both are physically and psychologically enjoyable in their way.

 

We mostly do FFM where the MF is the doggy position, not missionary with the second woman on top.  And rarely with the guy doing both the licking and fucking. 

 

Performing oral on a woman for me has the sense of both being generous in providing pleasure to her and controlling her as I bring her to orgasm. 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

6 hours ago, Sophy said:

 you will be surprised how many of us like to get our asses eaten, for example.

My wife has told me several times she wouldn't have married a man who won't eat ass

[let's do it again 414]

18 minutes ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

My wife has told me several times she wouldn't have married a man who won't eat ass

I couldn't tell you how women that I have rimmed them and they had never had it done to them. I thought most men rim their women until I started asking guys that I worked with and many gave me the distinct " Hell No !"

[TnA83 309]

I guess the quick answer for me is that I love my butt licked, it gives an almost out of body experience.  Would I expect that or even ask for it without at least offering it?  Hell no!

 

Being a generous lover has its advantages.

[let's do it again 414]

My biggest question when giving a woman oral sex is where do they want my hands? This is where I find women have the most difference,  fingers in her pussy, in her ass, play with her tits, rub her stomach? When it comes to the ass, why is it a no go zone for so many people?

[Numex 2,416]

4 hours ago, let's do it again said:

When it comes to the ass, why is it a no go zone for so many people?

I certainly don't know everything that goes on in our group, but I've never done, had done or see any ass licking. A guy putting a finger in her ass, however, is fairly common.