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cplnluv1

Not All Was Great

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We learned that not all goes great when meeting others. Most of us write of great times, great sex and enjoying all we do then we realize life isn’t perfect. We are lucky that we found new friends that help us forget the mistakes we made along the way, not all our meetings turned out the way we wanted. We read, talked and chose wisely and still made mistakes. As careful as I thought we were we found out people aren’t always truthful, people have agendas, people hide facts. My mom used to call me a Pollyanna, I never truly understood the real meaning, I do look for the positives in others, I trust people. 
I know I am not alone, others have shared negative encounters, I read others. Life is not all roses, true friends open your eyes to beauty. 

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Things don't always go great.

When we were starting out I predicted there would be uncomfortable, awkward, and sometimes even bad moments in the LS so I (hubby) said up front that I accept all responsibility for anything that can/may go wrong.

 

Of course that didn't stop things from ever going wrong, but it gave - and continues to give - my wife piece of mind that I will never put any blame on her and also that proper screening and general security in dicey situations is on me.

 

So if and when something goes wrong I will take the blame - never her. If and when something goes right I give her the credit.

 

Just saying that has helped.

Edited by hunterdonNJcpl

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We met several couples before we found a couple that we considered playing with...and, in hind sight, they weren't a great match with us (but other than not being a great match, nothing 'bad' happened). We just kept cautious and kept looking until we found a great match...and yes, it took awhile, but in the end they were worth the wait and the effort. Now that we are starting to look for a new couple, we are still aware that it won't be easy and that we need to stay cautious and careful, but there are great matches out there. The hard part is to stay the course and not to compromise and accept 'close enough' or couples that have obvious red flags. Also, to be ready to walk away if the need be. It just requires time, effort, and a great deal of attention (nobody said that this would be easy...in fact, we always say that it's going to be rather hard). One of the many reasons we don't play on the first date. Even still, we are all imperfect people and we will all make mistakes. The difficult part is to learn from them and not let them happen again (there are SO MANY new mistakes you haven't even begun to make...lol). Of course, there is always the other option...giving up and just not trying. We choose to take the chance, but just try to minimize the risks.

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