Think she's warming up to the idea?

[whiskeyguy101 2]

Hey, I've wrote this a bunch of times and end's up being super long, so I'm trying again hoping to be shorter lol.

Wife and I together 20 years, both 40, marriage- good, sex- good, she had a more conservative upbringing, so for a long time talking about sex was an awkward/ shy subject.  I've been interested in MFM and swinging for a while. 

Recently (over a few months) have watched Naked Attraction together,  I started talking about the guys,  and after a bit she felt more comfortable to do so also,  and had gotten more vocal about who's sexy, who has a nice cock, big cock etc. So I started upping my dirty talk game (talking about a 2nd guy), was well received.  So I tried a penis sleeve, well received, bought a nice one, well received (she calls it the delivery driver), I've mentioned seeing guys check her out at the mall and how hot it was, she liked my reaction.  Recently I told her about a dream I had about us and a 2nd guy, in the moment she just said "mmmm" and made out with me,  later that day she initiated sex with me 3 times🥵. The other day she was at the gym, and out of no where in conversation says she saw a dude checking her out there.  I said damn that's hot, she started kissing me and rubbing me though my jeans, I asked if she could see his cock though his shorts and she said she couldn't see cause stuff was in the way but that he was attractive. I said you should of bent over to fix your shoe, and she said yeah I should of! 

Note she has never said any of this kind of stuff before ever! I saw a spot when we were walking and I said that looks like a good dogging spot, she said what if people saw? I said that's half the fun, she slapped my ass and kissed me giggling.  

Curious on your thoughts if she's relaxing to the point where the conversation can be brought up? 

Thanks!

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Love, trust, communication...work on having as much as possible of all three as any of one helps grow the other two. To be successful lovers, let alone successful swingers, you need all three in abundance.

 

Quote

Curious on your thoughts if she's relaxing to the point where the conversation can be brought up? 

Only you know that for sure, but easiest way is after the trust has been leveled up, talk to her about fantasies...hers AND yours (start with one of yours that is rather simple and take it from there). It sounds like she MIGHT be warming up, but without the trust, without the communication, you might never know. She needs to KNOW that you aren't going to judge her, aren't going to think less of her, aren't going to love her less (in fact, that you will love her more for her being able to share her deepest thoughts and secrets). Take your time, work on making your relationship as great as it can be, and remember...you have the rest of your lives to find out. Good luck and let us know how things are progressing...

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

What GoldCoCouple said * 1000. Even 10,000. Aww heck make it a million. I'm serious.

 

Having totally open communication is key to successful swinging. It's something you do together. You can't do that without total communication. As GoldCoCouple said, it needs to be without judgement. Be supportive, allow her to explore her fantasies and perhaps help make them come to reality when she is ready. It doesn't sound at all like you are, but you can't talk her into it. You can open doors, let her know you are 100% onboard, but allow her to walk through that mental/emotional door.

[Numex 2,409]

On 3/21/2024 at 4:42 AM, whiskeyguy101 said:

Curious on your thoughts if she's relaxing to the point where the conversation can be brought up? 

I think so, and I think you are approaching it the right way by making it about her. Let her have her fun, you only play with other women later at her urging to be certain she is secure with that side of it first. You're on the adventure, let her steer the ship.

[Feste 0]

On 3/21/2024 at 5:42 AM, whiskeyguy101 said:

Hey, I've wrote this a bunch of times and end's up being super long, so I'm trying again hoping to be shorter lol.

Wife and I together 20 years, both 40, marriage- good, sex- good, she had a more conservative upbringing, so for a long time talking about sex was an awkward/ shy subject.  I've been interested in MFM and swinging for a while. 

Recently (over a few months) have watched Naked Attraction together,  I started talking about the guys,  and after a bit she felt more comfortable to do so also,  and had gotten more vocal about who's sexy, who has a nice cock, big cock etc. So I started upping my dirty talk game (talking about a 2nd guy), was well received.  So I tried a penis sleeve, well received, bought a nice one, well received (she calls it the delivery driver), I've mentioned seeing guys check her out at the mall and how hot it was, she liked my reaction.  Recently I told her about a dream I had about us and a 2nd guy, in the moment she just said "mmmm" and made out with me,  later that day she initiated sex with me 3 times🥵. The other day she was at the gym, and out of no where in conversation says she saw a dude checking her out there.  I said damn that's hot, she started kissing me and rubbing me though my jeans, I asked if she could see his cock though his shorts and she said she couldn't see cause stuff was in the way but that he was attractive. I said you should of bent over to fix your shoe, and she said yeah I should of! 

Note she has never said any of this kind of stuff before ever! I saw a spot when we were walking and I said that looks like a good dogging spot, she said what if people saw? I said that's half the fun, she slapped my ass and kissed me giggling.  

Curious on your thoughts if she's relaxing to the point where the conversation can be brought up? 

Thanks!

 

 

[Feste 0]

I have a similar thing going on, but to a much lesser extent. I finally got up the nerve to tell her some nasty fantasies I have. I brought up going to a swinger club and just people watch.

[Feste 0]

Oh, to answer the question, yes she’s warming up to the idea.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,383]

6 hours ago, Feste said:

I have a similar thing going on, but to a much lesser extent. I finally got up the nerve to tell her some nasty fantasies I have. I brought up going to a swinger club and just people watch.

Good for you! Nothing ventured nothing gained. What was her response?