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I keep all our finances in Microsoft Money, so I ran a quick report. With all our membership dues at clubs, bar tabs, dinners out, buying dinners for the kids before we go out, etc., we've spent just a hair over $1,300 in the past 3 months on swinging. But, in the three months prior to that we only spent about $300. So it goes in waves of how active we are with swinging. But damn, looking at it that way it's a very expensive hobby. Mr. WS

To a certain point, Louie st. has a point. We have seen people who have gone "over the edge" with swinging and ruined thier marriage and after it "came out" destroyed thier entire family life with parents and sibs. Of course we have seen many more people who have done the same with drugs and alcohol. We are reminded of one relative who worked very hard to get his CDL so that he could drive school bus while he worked very hard to complete the police academy (2 yrs). It took him two years after graduation to actually get a full time police department position. A year later he got a drunk driving ticket. No more buses and he is permenantly barred from police work. Yep, swinging can ruin a marriage, but so can drinking, racing cars,scrapbooking, fishing, hunting and watching TV. WC Fields: Moderation my boy, moderation, 8 or 9 is alright, but more than that digresses into drinking.

Go to dennyp.com, and there's a link for Trip Reports on the left. It has reviews for Desire Cabo San Lucas.

I just came across this thread and I find that question posed herein is quite valid and appropriate. Maybe even the focus of my next research project... Firstly, I think that the short term consequences of the the lifestyle for those that have strong emotional relationships is quite positive. I'll go further and suggest that the long term effect is to evolve a good relationship into a great one. Is there any scientific evidence that this is so? No, there's only anecdotal evidence since it is difficult to find swingers that have dropped out of swinging because of the negative aspects of the lifestyle on their relationship. However, if my latest results mean anything, most swingers have been swinging for over 10 years, and some over 29 years.....you draw your own conclusions... Cheers! DrZiggy

I don't think I'm trading my spouse, nor is she trading me. We are participating together in this lifestyle, and sharing all the experiences. This may not be the case with everyone in the lifestyle, but it's that way with us. This original question was begging for responces like these I think, but swooping generalizations are hardly ever accurate. Mr. Truelove

The cool thing about all of this is, it's all about choices. Seems that Louie thinks making the choice TO swing is bad for many reason ... glad you've figured it out. However, that doesn't make it bad for everyone else. Like everyone else who has commented, I feel closer than ever to Mr. Fun. We are in love. And guess what else? We easily could choose to be monogomous, but CHOOSE not to be. If ever we feel like we're harming our relationship, we will CHOOSE the best way to keep ourselves on track. Hell, I believe people who are too possessive, fret too much over their partners, and are always accusing and suspicious of the others' activities are much more harming to their relationship than those who swing. I advise Louie not to swing. He's not emotionally ready ... and that's fine. What displeases me is when someone tries to force their opinions on me as if they were factual. Kinda like the groups who want to monitor TV shows ... and say, "that show is BAD to watch because of blah blah blah" -- ok, that's their opinion -- not factual. And, they can CHOOSE to change the channel.

I think that everyone is entitled to do and live by what they deem fit and appropriate- for them and their situations. If you view your life through the eys and opinions of someone else, you are bound to come up things that could be harmful, or different. Do couples that swing hurt their marriages? Sure, I bet there are some and I probably know a few. Do couples that don't swing have great marriages? Sure, I bet there are some and I know a few and I know others that are miserable. Because I have sex with more people am I going to hurt my body somehow? Possible, but we take all the precautions we can. I suppose you could say that because we drink we are hurting our livers or whatever, too. I think that there is ulimately no comparision or parallel between vertical and horizontal couples. I think that you do what is right for you, at the time, given the facts and you live your life the way the cards fall. I know a lot of happy go lucky vanillas... like my own parents. I am sure they wouldn't even remotely understand our choices and I don't understand theirs. But both of us are happily married. Since I won't talk about religion..... IMHO, It's like comparing a republican to a democrat!