Leaderboard

Well... hmmm.. My hubby and I hung out here a while in 04/05, loved swingersboard, thought this was just the mecca of information for anyone in the lifestyle. Then something weird happend to us... polyamory. Somewhere around the time that we met our SOs, someone had posted a general statement in one of the other SB forums asking about polyamory. The response was not too positive. So.. there we were with this new thing going on, the people at our club were acting funny about/around us, we generally felt like "freaky people" ... and well life in general got busy as hell. So we didn't post anymore. Last night we met with a guy (and his new wife) that we were friends with in college -- who found us on SB, lol... so I came back, re-read some of our old posts, and then scanned the forums.. and found this one! Oh WOW! Thank you SB for creating this area. We never intended to be where we are now, and it may be forever, or we may eventually move in a different direction. I am not even sure if we were um "single" that it would even happen again... as the lifestyle has always been our main focus. This was more sort of an ambush... we never saw it coming. I haven't read a lot of the board, so I am hoping (assuming?) that posters in this forum are comfortable here, and posting away as if this were any old internet BBoard. I do hope I am right. I have so missed this place. Again, thank you SB for creating this.. without it, we might only have read some posts today and moved on again.

I haven't read through this thread so I may be repeating what others have already expressed, but 8inches post caught my eye and I want to comment on men wearing clothes that will show off their buff bod. I think it can be very challenging for men to find the right clothes - especially tops - that show they are muscular or well-defined from the waste up. I've been continually surprised to discover, after the clothes come off, how great a guy is built because their choice of a shirt too often kept it a secret. When I have gotten a clue about a man's upper body definition, it's been when he has worn a knit top that fits well, not baggy, but tight enough to show what he's got. Usually that is a polo kint top with long sleeves or dressier crew neck top that fits well and even a nice basic new t-shirt. Button-down shirts can be great IF they are fitted enough to show your form. Mr LM is trim and finding slender-fit shirts can be difficult, but when you puts one on he looks so much better than when he wears a boxier cut. These days, I make it a point to touch a man, when the time is appropriate, to feel his pecs and arms so I know what is hidden under his clothes. When I see a guy wearing something that I think makes him look particularly HOT, I let him know. I think guys need that feedback as much as women do. It helps them know what works well on them. Guys, stay away from the baggy butt pants...don't forget to look at yourself from behind in the full-length mirror before you head out to the club, because women will always be checking your ass out too. LM

I met alot of couples at a meet up once, but they all live 5-12 hours away from me. But I have to say, I think that is a fantastic way to meet people. They are suppose to be vanilla so you can chat and get to know someone with out the pressure of what happens next. If you like them, call them and meet up again in a more intimate setting, like say......the bedroom Your friend, Prettylady:kissface:

The past few months I have been thinking about this. We have been to house parties and other things over the years. At some of these parties the people are playing with multiple partners either in private/public/both. So here is the question. If she had someone cum (bareback) in her earlier in the party and you start playing with her: Do you know if she played earlier? Would you ask her if she went bareback before you do oral? Should she tell you before you go down on her? What if she doesn't tell and you find out? What would be required before you go down on her if she did have someone cum in her? I am not personally interested in creampies, but this question I thought was interesting.

If you could write the script, so to speak... What would be the most ideal swing partner/couple for you? Location? Friends in addition to swing partners? Age? Body type/build? Interests? All that sort of stuff? Your ideal is..... - EBF

I recognize that many couples meet new playmates a variety of ways. But, there must be one way that you prefer either because it has been worked best for you over time or for some other reason. Which one is it?

We are currently planning to build a house next year (cross your fingers). We are figuring on about 2500sqft, Nothing fancy single story and we will be doing most of the work ourselves with the help of a few friends. The place is being planned with a eye toward entertaining with swinging in mind. I am thinking I want a indoor hottub but most seem to be outdoor? Is there something I am missing here? We had planned on it being in the house, Do we need to rethink this? Is there issues with having it indoor we are not aware of? Our idea had it joining the master bath as well as a entrance from the living room. Any input is welcome.

We find our style keeps changing as we change. For the past year we have noticed that swapping is boring...if 2 people can do it alone, we already did it. Certainly we learned a longer finger or more pointy tongue feels different but nothing 2 people can do is as much fun as what we do together. We realized this and have gently worked to make all our play more group interactive in various ways but we are finding doing it gently isn't as effective as being assertive (almost aggressive) in directing playtime to be what we want to get and give in playing with others. So no vote but this post instead

Swinging is always with mutual consent of the spouses. its about seeing ur spouse have a great time. Its about having a great time with ur spouse.. and another couple...mebbe.Nothing wrong with that. I think its more a reflection of deep love & trust among Lifestyle couples which mebbe the vanilla couples are not able to share between them selves. Dont we know many folks who fantasize a threesome or a foursome...but never have the courage to participate, with their spouse.They may cheat though...to fulfill their fantasy. No, swinging is not for every body...you have to be honest, deeply in love, trusting,be able to enjoy seeing ur spouse in throes of ecstasy L Then why do swingers hide the fact that they are swingers... Simple...History...some body was hanged( I cant rcollect the name) when he told the world that the world was actually round...and not flat..Moral...It doesnt always pay to be right. My $ 0.02 worth anyway

This really isn't an issue for us. Typically, we wait until we get home before having sex with each other, so any evidence of any creampies is long washed away by then. When we go to an on-premise club or a house party, we go there to exclusively to fuck other people.

If you are a hot female single looking for casual no strings sex, you have absolutely no reason to go to a web site, post photos etc. You can pick and choose, its the nature of sex and swinging. Thats not to say I haven't seen a few very attractive single females on swinging sites who were in fact real people. Problem is most of them were a bit off in the head, or in fact down right nuts. Occasionally it seems you might find a recently divorced woman who just wants to go out and have some 'real' fun after years in an unhappy marriage or you might find a divorced half of a former swinger couple, but again those are pretty rare. I had a rather unattractive vanilla friend who was having big problems in her marriage, which had become sexless. Long story short her husband gave her an open pass, and I suggested swinging to her as an alternative to meeting single guys. I was friends with both her and her husband and was hoping they could keep it together once she got her wild side under control (that was all she claimed she was lacking the sex). She put up an add and had a full dance card from the first weekend, thats just how it works for even less than perfect unicorns.

Well lemme see if I can answer the different questions all in one post (or at least try lol!) We were in the lifestyle briefly in 92-93, and left due to it being hard to connect with people at the time (no internet.. remember when? LOL) We got back into it in late 2004. We joined a local club, put our profile on SLS and we were having a ton of fun. We hadn't been with a lot of people, but the lifestyle in general and the atmosphere at the club were very liberating. We really enjoyed things. In January of 05, we met another couple who started wanting us to be exclusive with them. We liked them well enough, but not that well. We had heard about "those poly people" and were really kind of freaked out by this couple. We backed out of that pretty quick, and swore (haha) to be more vigilant as to who we hung out with. SIX WEEKS LATER... lol.. no joke... we realized that another couple we had been playing with were just the greatest friends. They had been in the lifestyle for several years, so of course we felt pretty safe with the friendship aspect. That's all we thought it was, really - friendship. They worked at the club we went to, but lived 90 minutes away. So, on weekends we would invite them to stay over so they didn't have to drive back so late at night. Then it kind of got to where we were missing them, and them us; not wanting them to leave... they not wanting to leave... and it just sort of stuck that way. Before we knew it, they were moving in to our recently-enclosed garage and making arrangements to sell their house. It just sort of happened that as Mr Snozz was developing feelings for her, I was for her and her husband. It just worked. I can say it has had some pretty big highs and lows.... Six months after moving in we faced Hurricane Katrina together, and the loss of a home business we all started together (due also to the storm), and then peri-menopause hit for her and for me (ouch!). So before we were a year old, we had three major life stressors occur. But we have managed the bad times pretty ok, especially considering there really IS no directions out there for this lol! The hardest part, I do have to admit, has been having two women in one house on equal standing... that still takes work on her part and on mine. But, the most surprising thing has been the insight that having another married couple living with you can give to your own marriage -- as well as you to theirs. We have learned a lot about our own selves, things we might never have learned, had we not had two other mature adults being around us when we are most ourselves (ie in pajamas, with dishes in the sink lol). A lot of exploring and feedback is given all the way around. We are not interested in expanding like I guess "pure" polyamory families do.. and if we broke up, I am not sure this would ever happen to us again either (all though I guess at this point I really cannot ever say "never" about anything anymore lol). Our immediate friends and some trusted family members are aware of the situation, with blessings (some had a few reservations though). And, while we tried to hide it, our kids do know. Thankfully they are older teens. We shared with them that this is not so uncommon outside the US, and just a different way of having a family. They kind of like a double mom and dad (and double the presents yesterday never hurts anything! LOL) We do play seperately... we at first did not want to. But there are times when Mr Snozz and I want to hang back, and they don't, or vice versa. And then there are times when we are attracted to different people, or vice versa. So while we prefer to play all together, we will play as two couples. That's all I can think to write. Feel free to ask anything though.. I will try to answer PS... the last I looked, online poly groups are out there, but sorely lacking in networking/"customer service" skills lol

Birth control is a personal choice just like bareback. Condoms might actually be the best method and choice for some. But condoms and birth control really isn't the point of the topic, unless you'd like to start a new thread, TerryforSex.

I have a hard time answering this question because on the one hand, at any given night at the club, the hottest women are usually part of a couple. On the other hand, that doesn't mean much because their are way more married women than single gals on any given night. On a night with 30-40 couples their might be 2-4 single women. I suspect if their were the same number of each, the average hotness level would be about the same. The same holds true for the ad sites in our area. Their are so few single women compared to couples that it would be impossible say which is hotter as a group, even though the odds of finding a real hot woman as part of a couple is much greater than finding a hot single.

I think it's the same across the board. Swingers are simply a sampling of everyday people and come from all walks of life. In my experience the ratio of thinner women to thicker women is the same as it is amongst non-swingers.

8inches, I've got some good news, and some bad news. After reading this, I decided that I was going to ignore it. But after reading some of the other responses, and reading a couple of other posts from you, I thought this was probably the best place to give you the news. The good news is: (and I'm assuming your fairly young as you have never introduced yourself) In your age bracket the women tend to be young, slender, more fit, more in line with what you see on TV and in magazines. The bad news is: You may be able to keep your "buff" body longer by working out. But our sexy ladies pay the price for raising kids and nature isn't often real kind to them. I know, some women can have a child and weeks later you would never guess it. But they are the exception, not the rule. Throw in 25-30 years on top of that. The really good news is: As you get older, live through life with a lady, watch your children grow, and watch the changes, you may, or may not learn one of life's great lessons like I did. I look at my sexy lady and see the beautiful young woman that she once was. Yes, diabitis has caused her to gain weight no matter how hard she has fought. Yes, gravity has taken its toll here and there. Yes, she has scars here and there. But when she smiles at me her eyes still sparkle. When I hold her in my arms she is still a cuddly arm full and I still love feeling her great tits up against my chest. I hope you learn to do that, for one day you will be 50ish like me, still randy, but you will be chasing 20ish girls when they are looking at young buff 20ish guys. Not some guy who has some grey hair, if he hasn't lost it, who is in good shape, but ewwww, he is her father's age. Age does not give me wisdom, but it does give me perspective. Enjoy it while ya' got it 8incher, time levels all playing fields...

Greetings SnozzberryBlu, My husband and I also found polyamory with another couple without having looked for it. I'd be curious to find out how it happened to you, if you'd like to share your story. Also, like you, I hung around on this board a lot before it happened, and then drifted away a bit afterwards... there are a lot of ambivalent feelings toward polyamory on the part of some (not all) people who swing. My husband and I still swing outside of our quad, as do our SO's, just not much at the moment. I still very much enjoy reading SB and sometimes post. We feel a little bit of separation mentally now between us and most swingers, like we're different somehow, but we still love to swing when we meet people who excite us.

Very politically correct, 8inches! Lots of thought went into how to word this post, huh? lol Sorry.....couldn't resist.... And yes, of course, married women are much hotter than single ones. Oh, is that politically incorrect of me? LOL.... Just joshin' of course.

'Swinging' puts a spotlight on your relationship. Any cracks like jealousies, mistrust and other insecurities will be highlighted quickly and starkly. Sex is the most powerful force on this planet. Swinging will certainly break your relationship should those cracks appear. If there are no such cracks, or the ones that do appear are addressed effectively, swinging together is an activity that can bind you like nothing else.

In the posts above, there isn't much about the actual negative effects on the person who is writing. It's all about perceptions of society and others who cheat, etc. Here's personal experience: The only negative has been the health issue. Almost as soon as we started swinging, my wife started to have yeast infections after almost every new partner. When we laid off for a year because we were out of the country on business, suddenly no more yeast infections. The connectons between swinging and yeast were pretty clear! The yeast infections were a minor annoyance which was not even close to making either of us want to give swinging. Then, some son of a bitch gave my wife herpes and HPV. She had an outbreak one week which was pretty unpleasant. I had one very small lesion a week later which was hardly even noticeable. That was 8 years ago. Very fortunately, neither of us has had any outbreak or other health problem since. The HPV in her is not the bad kind and it cleared spontaneously. On me, the doc used some kind of lotion that made all of the warts go away. It has not affected our own sex life at all, except for giving up swinging. Only recently, have I started swinging again evey couple of months with a longtime friend who is in an open marriage and who is willing to take the chance. Having not had any signs of outbreak in over 8 years, the risk of contamination is very low according to my Mayo clinic urologist and several other sources. Another of our swinging friends, with whom we had only soft swing experiences and who NEVER, EVER allowed penetration by any swinging partner, got herpes from oral contact (not us). She had two really bad outbreaks in the first year but no more for several years. He never had any, inspite of the fact that they were screwing each other several times a week. A very minor negative was the discomfort that my wife had while trying to keep knowledge of our swinging activities from our children until they were old enough to understand it. (They probably knew anyway.) Our swinging had no bad effect on the kids. They are now grown, responsible, married adults. One has been swinging on occasion for years, and the other has talked quite a bit about starting soon. Unlike us, both had many partners before marriage, so swinging is not quite the same thrill for them as it was for us (who had not had other partners before marriage). Let's now have more personal experiences in this thread and less generalizations and speculation.

When we were considering a hot tub/play room, I had contractors come over and submit ideas. We got everything from a screened in porch that had roll-down canvas for privacy to a "treehouse". The treehouse was the coolest design! He kept our original open deck for grilling and sunbathing, and added a walkway to the treehouse. Very cool! It wasn't actually in a tree, but was built up on stilts. If you live in TN, you likely have a sloped yard like us. I liked it best because it was in a wooded area behind our house and gave privacy. It was just different. Good luck coming up with ideas!

TxCple, Everyone has their issues. And weight can be a big one for some people, from both sides of the equation. But there are a lot of men and women who find a big beautiful woman very attractive. I would rather be with a BBW with a great personality than a model type who has the personality of a fence post. I fully understand this as I was a 335 and have worked down to 215, which is pretty good for a guy approaching 50 and 6 feet tall. My sexy better half is a BBW. And we have had a lot of fun swinging. So don't sweat it. Your love for each other and a touch of confidence that you are who you are and make the best of it will go a long way! S

outside under as much glass as possible. on a concrete floor. with an entry to the master bedroom. and to the back patio as well.. draining after a big party or even for maintenance should be considered externally....our future dream. like socolais, the garden style is more convenient for just personal use and maybe 3-4 people. consider an extra large water heater or even a separate water heater.again consider drainage as well depending on the usage.

The hot tub indoors is nice (even in Texas the winter weather gets uncomfortable) but there's tons of humidity that must be actively controlled or you're asking for continuous troubles (peeling paint, warping hardwood, mold & fungus...). Discuss it with your designer or architect (and make sure they've done it before - you shouldn't have to pay for their learning curve).

I almost am ashamed to tell this story on us but it is a good example of how "shit happens" in life. Spoo and I answer emails together so depending on schedules etc. we'll read them separately and as already discussed here...leave the little bird up so we know we have to answer it. The little "bird" trick came to us after what happened with this one couple on SLS. We got an email from them and Spoo (who is on way more then me) opened it and read it (bird reminder is now gone). He told me about the email and said he was interested and I should read their profile and then we could answer them. Well you guessed it...the stars got out of line or some cosmic jeannie made life turn crazy for us and since our "reminder" was gone we never replied to them As wonderful fate would have it in surfing around SLS, almost a whole year later, to find people we'd like to email and see if there was chemistry we ran across their profile. We have an email history with them but it only consists of their email to us with no reply. We had no excuses, no reasons as to what happened so we took the chance and emailed them. We explained that we had read their email, discussed it but then never responded because life happened and we totally forgot. Much to our surprise they got it...we met them and they were a great couple that we all hit it off with. Patience is good, understanding is good and in our case we were very lucky that this fantastic couple understood it wasn't a blow off or a rejection but a case of dealing with things in life that sometimes come before the lifestyle. Mrs Spoomonkey

I think sometimes "life happens". I can say that as a couple who works 10 hour days, exercises for an hour and a half a day on top of that, preps for five meals a day and then has family and friends that sometimes demand their time - I totally "get" busy. I know we have waited to reply to messages before - and I know that we have had to be patient when others have had a lot going on. But we realize that the people we are communicating with are adults with lives, and we accept and respect that. Funny you should mention that messages on SLS look "unread" but the couple has obviously been on. We actually do that ourselves. You can read a message without opening it - and leaving it in an "unread" status, for us, is a way of keeping it "in front of us" for when we both - as a couple - can sit down and answer it together (sitting down together can sometimes be the biggest part of the challenge to keeping in touch). That silly little bird serves as a reminder that we have unanswered email. But, honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. It could very well be that this couple is just one of those busy couples who have a lot going on - and since this happens to be a thread started on Thanksgiving, I think we can all appreciate having a lot on our plate Spoomonkey

I have met several couples that said they enjoy this board and some of them, I don't even know their screen names. I've also told new friends about this board and some of them have posted here. This is too valuable of a resource to be quiet about it. When we're talking about our house party friends to other party friends, we are comfortable using names. But otherwise, I avoid using names or specifics that would "out" folks against their preferences. I might mention that I know someone when asked, but much more than that is basic indescretion.

No. We may say something like, "we didn't have any playtime (our lingo for swap) at that party or convention..." or "wow, that party or convention was one wild time!". We just wouldn't name names. This is one reason why I'm having a bit of a problem writing a story about the 3 day house party we went to. Let's just say, "Fun was had by all". Mrs. D

We've had a lot of banter in the Meet Up forum about the fun that was had at any particular Meet Up, but I'm unaware of any post that said, "We had sex with Mr. & Mrs. Goodlay, and it was great!" There have been a lot of well-deserved compliments. There have been posts such as, "We went to the rattlesnake races with Mr. & Mrs. TastyCreme..." I see nothing wrong with either. I've posted about some sexual experiences but have always used aliases for our partners, if any names at all. I guess I'm saying I don't understand this thread. Never should anyone post specific sexual events and use real names or anything that might give a clue to who the folks are, whether they post on this board or not.

no, we will never give names of who we have had sex with we ask the same in return

SLS has been the most successful method for us. We've tried other websites, clubs, IM's, etc. and only met people who talk a good game.

Our vote was "Other" Although our initial contact is through one of the internet sites, we meet face to face for dinner. We have never attended a Club or a Meet-and-Greet. We have discovered it is a very slow process, more due to our nature than that of other...swingers.

Sites like SLS and Swappernet work for us, but seem to require a lot of work on our part. Guess we are not the type where people go nuts when they see our pictures and can't wait to get us naked. But with a little work (sending out messages to those we are interested in everyonce in a while we hit a real winner) Those of you that are real winners as far as we are conserned know who you are. We also enjoy lifestyle conventions 1) its vacation sex 2) lots of people all with the same idea 3) we get to see (make that do) our friends from past conventions 4) we have sereral days to meet new friends and get it on (although we do get naked on the first meeting if you are up for it). We have found that the more open minded we are about age, weight, and looks (and we are not runway models) the more we are plesently suprised. Sometimes when we say what the heck not our first chooise but lets give them a go we find out that someone who we almost passed by can rock our world. Hey it's only sex it's not like you can use it up and not be able to do it ever again.

We started with SLS, and still have a profile. However, for the last 2 or 3 years, it's been all about the club.

We ran into a couple that we knew from "before" and wow. And well, now we more or less use AFF or just go out and see who looks at us and how

AFF is more successful for us than SLS however both sites are good. We also like to go to the M&G's around here. They're a lot of fun and since we're both pretty outgoing and love meeting new people, we have a blast.

Bareback...a decision. I guess it's up to the individual. For me at first it was condoms and then I did research things and condoms did not help with lots of sexually transmitted things. Condoms are porous. It is a fact. Now I did have guys use the condoms if they preferred but the natural lambskin feels better inside me so I take along those. But the next guy may prefer bareback and so since I like to go without condoms we have our fun. It is a personal thing. Now let's talk about birth control.....condoms are not the best for that either.

I think it is for the same reason we have different names on the board, for discretion, because my last name isn't really big (big is from my member). I don't want the neighbors to know what I do, not that I care. I just don't want their wives to come over for some sugar when their husbands are at work. I get into enough trouble as it is already

What is that supposed to mean? Why write something like that and not elaborate? If your comment was meant to insult, it has not. Truthfully, we have met some wonderful people and as you can see from our certifications we've had no complaints...so we must be doing something right. I'm sorry you have a problem with it. But, perhaps you would not be compatible to us and vice versa anyway...so does it really matter? The whole point of a profile is to find a compatibility factor, correct?