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It doesn't take much profile reading to come across overused/overrated cliches and phrases in swinger profiles... and I SO hate using/reading cliches! Here are a few just from this morning's surfing.... - We are not Ken and Barbie - Cum out and play - We can go all night - ...that just won't quit - Notches in the headboard - Won't take one for the team - Well hung - No drama Can you add to the list? Or do you have other pet peeves when reading profiles, things that turn you off before you even get to email a person? I think a little honest critiquing here could be really helpful in writing a great profile

- We are not Ken and Barbie Fat - Cum out and play Sleezy - We can go all night Performance issues. - ...that just won't quit Won't leave you alone at house party. - Notches in the headboard Haven't had much luck finding partners. - Won't take one for the team Woman very picky. - Well hung Average - No drama Will be flakey.

Yep...us too. Which is why I keep questioning things in this thread. I really do believe that cheating is not an answer but...I have seen incidents where I understood why it happened and couldn't blame the cheater. Which in turn has caused all these damn internal questions popping into my head. How can you believe something is wrong (cheating) yet, understand why it happened and not blame the cheater? We (swingers) don't view it as the same but, there are those that do. Most people view sex as the definition of cheating..with our without consent from you SO...If sex (outside a relationship) was the only definition of what constituted cheating (which I don't believe it is BTW) then, we are all cheaters. Agree. Now, I've got another question for you...if cheating brought a problem to the surface and it was corrected then wouldn't that mean that cheating helped the relationship? I'm really not trying to be contrary here...like I said above, all these questions are running around in my mind and what I once thought was a black and white issue, I'm now seeing as gray...and that is confusing the hell out of me. Also, Ted's away with work so I've got no one here to talk to and debate things with, so ya'll get to answer my questions and deal with my babbling Teresa

I haven’t been around the Board for awhile, but I noticed when I logged in today that there are a LOT of new members (and many of you are posting. Excellent! That’s great for the Board!). However, I want to make newbies aware that although Spoo’s comment that “swinging” is a couples-only thing (i.e., swinging is synonymous with swapping) is shared by many on this Board and in the lifestyle, there are many couples who regard “swinging” to be a state-of-mind, so single males and females can be swingers, too, and actually some couples in the lifestyle might NOT be swingers. And, of course, there are many couples and singles who really don’t care about this issue. (Hope I didn’t confuse anyone.) So, if you want to explore the “Are singles swingers?” thing, check out these threads that deal in whole or in part with the singles as swingers issue. Are singles really swingers? The Elusive NICE Single Guy? The plight of the single male If these threads don't address your questions about singles and swinging, maybe you can start a new thread and we can all pile on there. (I’m not sure what to make of the “bath house” part of Spoo's post. Is there the implication that all single males are gay, or at least bi? Or are there bath houses for straight men and women? Or something else?) Anyway, back to the original topic. As a single male, I have ALWAYS met with potential lifestyle play-partners (both couples and single women) in public settings before any sexual activity. I'm sure they are concerned with their safety as I am concerned with mine. We have met face-to-face at bars and/or restaurants, meet-&-greets, house parties, or lifestyle clubs. Some couples and single females I have met I have played with at the event where we met. Some couples I have met at parties, M&Gs, and clubs, had email conversations with, and hooked up with later. Some couples I have met online but have only played with after we met in a public place to talk first. In every instance, no matter the method, I have always had face-to-face communication before playing. I need to look into their eyes! I think I’m a fairly good judge of character, but I feel it’s too easy for an individual or couple to misrepresent themselves via email only. So far I haven’t been disappointed with my decision to evaluate play-partners in person. I recommend that the OP do that too. If the single male in this case doesn’t like it, then don’t consider him a viable candidate for your attention. And I would prefer potential play-partners meet me in-person in public so they can evaluate ME also. If they don’t like my looks, attitude, bearing, etc., I’d rather know that in a neutral setting so we can all disengage while saving face. I understand the fickleness of compatibility. I wouldn’t want to arrive at a front door and see a crestfallen look on a woman’s face (I get that enough in the vanilla world ) or enter the room and find out that she/they aren’t as advertised either. If this guy doesn’t want to meet in public, I say don’t consider him. If you really want to meet him and want to reassure him you will not bail on a public meeting with him, think of something that will benefit him and penalize you if you two don’t show up. For example, send him a $25 gift certificate to a bar/restaurant where you could meet. (After all, he IS willing to give you his home address.) If you two show up, he should use the cert. for drinks and food for all of you. If you two don’t show up, he can use the cert. as he sees fit. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

May I ask...what the HELL has happened to this forum?