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Ted and I were discussing last night how both he and I have started to pull back on the being nice/sociable factor when we are at house parties. We both enjoy being very sociable...walking around the room, talking, laughing and cutting up with everyone...to us, being nice is just a part of our nature, we like talking to all types of different people and having a good time. (I'm not talking flirting with people...I'm talking just being sociably nice like you would in any group gathering) However, here lately we both have started being less outgoing, staying very close to each other, watching what we wear (or don't wear as the case may be) as well as being very careful with who we interact with. Which isn't really the way we want to be but...because of our relaxed natures and outgoingness and what we feel is just being nice and sociable, people seem to be getting the wrong impression...that just because we were talking to them, laughing and having a good time that we want to play with them. We both have always been very careful (or thought we were being careful) not to give off a vibe (flirt) that we wanted to play, unless we really did but, more and more we are finding that just being nice to people is causing them to assume we want to play. We actually had a lady chase us down when we were leaving a house party and holler at us that we couldn't leave because we hadn't fucked her and her husband yet and they wanted to fuck us Ted and I looked at each other and both said we never gave an indication that we wanted to fuck them, we were just talking and being nice. So...is there anyone else who has had to deal with someone assuming you wanted to fuck them just because you were being nice and talking to them? And...Do you assume that just because someone is talking to you and being nice that that's an indication that they want to fuck you? Does being nice equal I want to fuck you?

If I encountered a situation like this I would have a couple questions. The first one would be do you ever have orgasms with play partners and are you willing and able to have one? If the answer is no you do not have orgasms and for whatever reason you do not wish to have one or are not willing to have one then I would probably pass on the encounter all together. While I do not believe that people should be focused solely on orgasms if someone has some kind of mental block that does not allow them to cum with others or that they do not wish to have them with others then what is the point? If you are basically able to orgasm and are willing to have one or more but you just have some special needs then I would be open to doing whatever it takes (within reason of course). I am willing to go an extra mile for a friend but if someone goes into it with the intention of not having an orgasm then why are they there? I am truly not as orgasm focused as this sounds and there have been a few times that I (male half) have not orgasmed with play partners and it was still a great encounter. But it has a lot to do with intent. If someone is open to the idea and willing to have an orgasm but just needs some extra attention or some special techniques then I will give my best and if it doesn't happen then so be it, I'm not going to beat myself or anyone else up about it. But if someone just plain doesn't enjoy the full experience with play partners then there is no need for me to be there.

From one single guy to all other single guys...Thrax hit it squarely on the head. I have been "in the lifestyle" since 1981...longer than some of you are old . I have actually been able to have play time with only five couples and five single women. I had never thought about how many and how often until tonight while reading the posts in this thread. I don't keep score and don't like being a hash mark on someone's bed post so some of those couples I will never see again. I tried very hard to make sure I was allways respectfull to all my playmates and their spouses, making sure that their pleasure was first and foremost. Each encounter was special...some more so than others and some of these folks are special friends even though we may never play together again. For those of you who don't want to play in mfm threesomes, thats ok. I personally don't want to spoil your fun because the thing that will cause my "little friend" to loose his interest quicker than anything else is to know someone is not happy in making his acquaintence. With all that said just this week I have been approached by two couples and one single lady. I have had a "get acquainted meeting" with all of them and one of the couples has asked me to join them in what promises to be a great evening of sexual fun. I didn't make the first move, they did. I have been the gentleman in our conversations and meetings as I will always be. Thats just me. OP, take heart, there are some really great single guys just waiting for you to make known to them that you have an interest...that is, if you do. Single guys, listen carefully to Thrax...you'll learn a lot!

A man Being bi-sexual is not manly and it is rather disgusting to me personally, oposites attract but women are so lovely and delicious men or women can love them but what does a man have that can attract another man unless they are unsure of their image of themselves as a man.

I come to think the effects are pretty radical. Its like stealing to me first you start out small then get bigger and bigger then you can't remember why you started as you are sitting in Jail. You start out playing then more and more and before you know it you are boinking everyone that says hi. Not saying anything bad but look at some of the older couples that have been swinging for a while they will boink anything. In some other threads they talked about intimacy. Intimacy breaks down after a while of being in the lifestyle. Once you seen your spouce boinked in every postion by countless people that came and gone what is left? Like in the news about those amish people. Amish been around since the start of america and they are still going strong in there belifs. look at soceity today with our new words for breaking our vows to get what we want(Swinging, Lifestyle, Swapping, etc..). Since we claim to be happy in our own marraiges and would not trade our spouces for anything. What the hell do you think you are doing? You are trading in your loved one for a one night stand and then act like nothing happened. I think the long time effect really really hurts the marraige emotionally. A scar that you can hide but never will go away.