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I am guessing here, but I would be willing to venture that the reason you know he is Bi is that you may have seen an E mail or viewed a site or chat room he did not close. Assuming that; It is quite possible he has never actually done anything other than cyber sex. There are a lot of married guys, singles to I suspect, who talk about their fantasies on line, it is a great outlet, but would never actually meet a guy for sex. I also suspect the reason you don't want to be totally open about knowing is you don't want him to think you are eavesdropping on his private chats. Remember it might just be a fantasy he is entertaining. In any event I think the best answer came from Beardedknight, and you should talk to him if you saw it accidentally say so, if he is only indulging in a fantasy he will doubtless feel very uncomfortable discussing it. Bottom line, talk and stop hinting, be honest, be open but tell him all you know and what you suspect, sitting on it won't solve anything, and as others mentioned communication is so important.

Let me play devil's advocate for a minute. Let's say the SM in question isn't an AH, just someone who's been stood up one time too many either by couples or somebody pretending to be a couple. Maybe he's been sitting in a restaurant eating alone after being stood up one time too many. Offer to meet him someplace like a park if you are interested in working around this "glitch". If not, just go back to the pool of SMs and pick again. edit: To add a bit to the what if thing, if you take the females of the couples out of swinging you pretty much have a star trek convention. :-)

I haven’t been around the Board for awhile, but I noticed when I logged in today that there are a LOT of new members (and many of you are posting. Excellent! That’s great for the Board!). However, I want to make newbies aware that although Spoo’s comment that “swinging” is a couples-only thing (i.e., swinging is synonymous with swapping) is shared by many on this Board and in the lifestyle, there are many couples who regard “swinging” to be a state-of-mind, so single males and females can be swingers, too, and actually some couples in the lifestyle might NOT be swingers. And, of course, there are many couples and singles who really don’t care about this issue. (Hope I didn’t confuse anyone.) So, if you want to explore the “Are singles swingers?” thing, check out these threads that deal in whole or in part with the singles as swingers issue. Are singles really swingers? The Elusive NICE Single Guy? The plight of the single male If these threads don't address your questions about singles and swinging, maybe you can start a new thread and we can all pile on there. (I’m not sure what to make of the “bath house” part of Spoo's post. Is there the implication that all single males are gay, or at least bi? Or are there bath houses for straight men and women? Or something else?) Anyway, back to the original topic. As a single male, I have ALWAYS met with potential lifestyle play-partners (both couples and single women) in public settings before any sexual activity. I'm sure they are concerned with their safety as I am concerned with mine. We have met face-to-face at bars and/or restaurants, meet-&-greets, house parties, or lifestyle clubs. Some couples and single females I have met I have played with at the event where we met. Some couples I have met at parties, M&Gs, and clubs, had email conversations with, and hooked up with later. Some couples I have met online but have only played with after we met in a public place to talk first. In every instance, no matter the method, I have always had face-to-face communication before playing. I need to look into their eyes! I think I’m a fairly good judge of character, but I feel it’s too easy for an individual or couple to misrepresent themselves via email only. So far I haven’t been disappointed with my decision to evaluate play-partners in person. I recommend that the OP do that too. If the single male in this case doesn’t like it, then don’t consider him a viable candidate for your attention. And I would prefer potential play-partners meet me in-person in public so they can evaluate ME also. If they don’t like my looks, attitude, bearing, etc., I’d rather know that in a neutral setting so we can all disengage while saving face. I understand the fickleness of compatibility. I wouldn’t want to arrive at a front door and see a crestfallen look on a woman’s face (I get that enough in the vanilla world ) or enter the room and find out that she/they aren’t as advertised either. If this guy doesn’t want to meet in public, I say don’t consider him. If you really want to meet him and want to reassure him you will not bail on a public meeting with him, think of something that will benefit him and penalize you if you two don’t show up. For example, send him a $25 gift certificate to a bar/restaurant where you could meet. (After all, he IS willing to give you his home address.) If you two show up, he should use the cert. for drinks and food for all of you. If you two don’t show up, he can use the cert. as he sees fit. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

I don't see asking to meet in a public place, possibly a coffee house he enjoys or whatever, as going out of his way. Something just doesn't feel right about someone asking for us to either come to his house or no deal. Just because you are a male is no reason you should feel safe in this lifestyle. Any lifestyle that invites sex also lures the sick and twisted.It reminds me of a story of a couple who were out on a date. Got carjacked by a group of men, taken by gunpoint back to a home and were sodomized for days, and it happened that one of the attackers was female. Long story short, and to save you the gory details, the man was raped and beaten repeatedly but compared to the woman got out easy and was killed the first day. The female was not so fortunate, her nightmare lasted days, and ended up dismembered in a trash bin. So would I worry about him being put out? Absolutely not! It is almost irritating to me he could be so inconsiderate...look elsewhere.

May I ask...what the HELL has happened to this forum?