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I will gladly play with X and even Y. But don't get me started with the Z group. The idea of not playing with someone based the the scenerios you gave is about as stupid as my above comment. I mean in all honesty, what are these types of people thinking? Lets take a walk through their minds shall we. "Darling I really don't want to play with 'so and so'. "Well why is that dear"? "Because they play with XYZ couple and I don't want to catch asian". WTF!! If you don't want to play with someone based on race that is your choice, or lose, but to eliminate couples based on who they like to play with is just out right ridiculousness. I should be careful, I think my opinion is showing. Your friend, Prettylady:kissface:

I'd like to chip in my two coins in this topic. I am a single guy and i love to swing. Not because I can't get a girl, I am fat, can't get it up, or am there to steal your wife. NO, not at all. I assure you, I can get girls, I am fit to a degree, and love my hard-on. BUT WHY THIS LIFESTYLE. Because I love group sex more then plain vanilla, and I have been slapped many a times, asking a girl if we could get into a threesome. I do it, because that's where my kink lies. so while i am still searching for a lady, who could entertain this idea, I am single. Other couples may hate this, and some don't. it doesn't effect me one bit because, I am not desperate. I don't want your wife as my own, all I desire is to fulfill my desires when opportunity knocks. (period).

This is excellent advice! I am definitely filling this away The are four reasons for my lack of "wood": 1. I'm distracted. We had a date once that I probably should have canceled. Earlier in the day, I received some bad news about my mom. I didn't need to go visit her and spoke to her by phone. Everything was going to be okay, but it did shake me up. On top of that, when we did go out - and made our way to a play room, a young college age girl came in, asking in a very assuming voice if she could watch and carrying a camera phone. "Is that a camera phone?" I asked, looking up mid-thrust with my playmate. We were having a great time up until this point. I usually do really well in this area and can put a lot of stuff out of my mind (it's small, easy to empty). "I'm just calling some friends to tell them to come up and watch." She said. "This stuff is cool. Go ahead." "Get the f*ck out," was my response. She looked like she'd never been told "no" in her life. But she did leave. But the damage was done. That, bad family news, I was done... I couldn't get it to work for anything... Granted, that is an extreme case, but it really takes extreme for me to break down. A bad day at work, one too many telemarketers, a TV on the blink... Distraction can creep up at the worst times. 2. I've made the mistake and had that extra beer. I like to party when we go out. I have a "beer pace" that I usually stick to pretty well. But most guys know, there is that place where the beer feels good - but that is all the "feel good" you're getting for a while. "Oh, just one more..." Those are the words that sometimes make me go a big rubbery one... This doesn't happen very often to me anymore - because sex is better than beer (unless you're watching football, in which case the opposite is true) - but it has happened. 3. There is zero chemistry (i.e. "I'm just not as into you as I thought I was downstairs.") Chemistry is a funny thing. Sometimes you think it is there, but it isn't. You want it to be there - the woman you have talked to may be really, really hot. But sometimes you just miscalculate. That - or somewhere between the dance floor and the condom wrapper hitting the floor, she says something that makes you realize that she really isn't someone you want to be with. Maybe it was something annoyingly political or simply so stupid as to make you feel like you should scream out "Corky!" when you finish. I've never been able to define chemistry, but it is either there or it isn't. And there have been times when I either thought it was or wanted it to be there, but it just wasn't. 4. The "snowball" effect. This is the worst - and it really should be filed under "distraction". But here is how it works. I have a night where I am distracted and things don't work. The next week, I have a "too much beer" night. The next week, it is the classic lack of chemistry. There I am - three experiences, and I am starting to feel like maybe I have a problem. I start putting pressure on myself. And here I am - week four - with a woman who is gorgeous, I have a lot of chemistry with, and I really, really want to be with - and inside I am forcing the issue; no longer just letting things go. This is called a slump - and I think all men go through them to some degree. It takes a really awesome playmate to get you out of it. Someone who is playful, understanding and really not a wood-killing, demanding witch... I had one such playmate once. I had gotten to a point after a small streak of not being able to reach orgasm. I was about to throw in the towel and she grabbed my ass, held me inside her and said "not until you cum." That is one of the top three sexiest things I've ever had said to me - and I was able to "man up." No problems with her ever again... Okay - there was a "beer night" recently, but I'm going to have no problem making that up (and wood wasn't the issue). Anyway - that has been my experience... Part Two ( Yeah, this is a long one. I am channeling Intuition, I guess.) I personally think that Mrs Spoo is one of those cool, playful, understanding women that can help a guy along. She understands that these things happen and when the chemistry is right, she doesn't give up on a guy. It may take a time or two, but we both know that great people are worth the investment. This how Mrs Spoo responds to her playmates not getting hard: 1. She asks herself, "is there chemistry?" If there isn't - or if he really is just lousy in bed with no potential to get any better - she shrugs it off and moves on. Sometimes, it just isn't worth chasing. But, if there is, like I said above, we know that good friends are tough to find. Why write them off because they had an off day? We have friends who have enough stress in their lives that it makes us wonder how in the world they even have time to see us. They have so much going on - and we understand that. On the other hand, she realizes that being with a new playmate can be an intimidating experience. The first time or two is really about getting to know each other anyway. We had a single female friend who said that she believed the "third time's the charm." According to her theory, it wasn't until the third time that you really start to relax and enjoy your playmate. And that really is true. And it is key. "Relax" - "enjoy" - it can be tough to do that for some guys out of the gate. 2. She slows things down and makes things "easily hot". We had one friend who struggled, so Mrs Spoo whispered in his ear (after he had taken care of her a number of times orally) that she wanted him to... Well - I guess that is between her and her playmate - but it was pretty damn hot. It wasn't intercourse, but it did get him off. And just the fact that she took the "fuck me" card off of the table, the guy was able to get where he needed to be and had a good time. It also really helped him relax with her - and he hasn't had any further issues. She's actually a whiz at that. Just make a change or two - maybe it is what you are doing - maybe it is how you are playing - and the next thing you know, everyone is working just fine and having a blast. 3. She turns the attention away from her playmates "failure" and focuses on his strengths. Hey - if he is attentive and she enjoys him, she can wait for the entire experience to "flesh out". Date one and two may be oral only - but if she leaves smiling, she's not complaining. Besides, she is going to get a pretty good fuck when she gets home - so all is well that ends well. But part of "chemistry" is "is he good at the other stuff". And if he is, she'll stick with him. As she says "if he good at oral, imagine how good he'll be at the other stuff!" She's not sticking it out with selfish chumps or guys who have no idea how a woman works. She is sticking it out with guys who have a lot of very obvious gifts - great people, fun to talk to, good kissers (a biggie for her) and showing a lot of potential and promise. So far - she has been rewarded quite well for her patience Most people, it seems, go to the club, have this happen, get frustrated about it, and then go back to the club - radiating this air of frustration and expectation - have it happen again and then wonder why... Well - wonder no more. Women, you have to relax a little, too. When you do - he will - and when you both do, good things are bound to happen. If you make it a habit of complaining and bitching about it - you're just asking for bad karma in that area. As I said in another thread, whether you think you are or not, you are putting off an air of "perform or else". Ladies, men can pick up on that - even if we don't know we are. And honestly - I don't think that swinging is about "pleasing you". It is about having fun - all of us. If you have a "sweat shop" mentality about your play, it is going to be one disaster after another; and I think we have a number of examples of that around here. Spoomonkey

We believe it is our constitutional rights to be able to socialize and play with whoever we want. So we are not violating our constitutional rights by not playing with Afro Americans or whoever else we may not want to.