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Sometimes when your dealing with flirtations outside of the lifestyle you have the upper hand. You've been able to take those flirtations and act on them, whereas others in the vertical world are just thinking it's just flirting and what's the harm because nothing is going to come of this. We go to church and there are several couples in our Sunday school group that like to flirt and make innuendos, also people from work and other vertical social circles, we just look at each other and smile. We consider them to be off limits and not of the mental age of consent in the lifestyle. Taking advantage of them would be like a pedophile over a child. If however someone approaches us with some knowledge of the lifestyle and they are curious, we sit them down and tell them the facts. Then it's up to them as a couple to go forward. We think your desire is clouding the big picture for you. they aren't in the lifestyle, it would be adultery without the husbands consent, and that depending where you live, could cause you to be in court. Bottom line, unless both consent, you should back off.

I’m running a tad behind schedule this morning, as we have to pack the truck and head to NY for the weekend. But what the hell, it is only time. First off, don’t read a book by its cover. My public persona is that of a conservative white male professional. And there are probably a few folks out there in my business and personal interactions who consider me to be a jerk. That is ok, because that is what I want them to think. What I do in my personal life IS in my personal life. And I keep my public persona completely separate from who I am in my personal life. So don’t make assumptions. Secondly, flirting with someone, even “a girl’s evening together” where they send you some slightly naughty pictures, is fun. But you need to keep this in perspective. It is flirting. If they are having problems, the last thing you and your wife want to do is get in the middle of their personal relationship problems. I can’t think of a single good outcome in all of this if you take this past the flirting stage. If you and your wife, after talking about this together, think her girlfriend is interested in swinging, you can have your wife provide her with links to this board and offer to answer her questions. But don’t do any more than that. If she and her husband decide that this is something that they want to do, all fine and good. Let them learn this their own way and just cheer them on from the sidelines. But, until they make their own life choices, and either get their collective acts together, whether that be swinging or not, or they split up for their own reasons. I strongly recommend that you don’t get sexually involved with her under any circumstances. If say, two years down the road they have taken up swinging, successfully on their own, and their relationship has stabilized, or if they split and she has stabilized after the split, then if you all get together, have fun.