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This is one discussion that I have avoided for a long time, and I’m not sure why I feel compelled to post in it now. Someone, please, stop me! No one? Shit. Ok. I’m going to say some things here that have been bottled up inside for a long time, almost 40 years. Some might be pissed off about this, but I have to say it and get it off my chest. Ok, I’m a good old boy from North East Texas. I grew up not too far from a town where to this day (I went home for my 30th High School reunion year before last and nothing has changed) a black person has never spent the night there. I remember when a black trucker stopped his truck on the side of the road to grab some sleep and woke up to a cross burning on the front of his truck. I hated that someone did that to him. So do I know what racism is all about? Yeah, I sure as hell do, from both sides of the coin. And both sides of the coin are wrong. When I was in Junior High, there were some black kids that liked to jump the freight train that ran from their neighborhood to the school instead of taking the bus every morning. One of the kids slipped and fell and the train cut off both of his legs and he bled to death. Not one of his “buddies” tried to help him. They left him to die. Hell, I was a Boy Scout and could have put a tourniquet on his legs till help arrived. They rode the train to school and said nothing to anyone. Someone else found him dead on the tracks. When the word hit school later that day, all of us were very upset at his death. But the blacks rioted. I was mystified by this. My God, what a tragedy. But why was it my fault because I was white? Why were the black kids rioting and breaking out windows at the school and blaming me? I didn’t abandon him to die like that!! Then we had the race riots at the High School. I never understood any of it. I liked a number of the black kids at school and we were in band together and played and marched and had a great time. What the hell was this all about? I joined the Navy. White, black, brown, yellow, we were all recruits and we worked together. Every swinging dick on a ship had to work together and I didn’t care what color you were. I did my part, you did your part. We survived together. When I was in combat in Grenada, I didn’t give a damn what color you were, and worked very hard to save the life of a wounded black soldier. God I hope he made it; his blood was on my hands as I held the battle dressing on his wounds as the medic worked on him. I never knew, they evaced him. The first interracial couple that I met was in Norfolk in 1983 and lived across the court from me in base housing. He was white, she was black. They were great people and we loved playing spades with them. It was so tragic that she miscarried twice. By then I had two small daughters. And I grieved for their inability to successfully have children. They were great people and I hope that they had the kids that they so wanted. The next year I was on a ship and I was sent to a school in San Diego with a black kid from New York. We flew out to San Diego and I rented the car because he didn’t have a driver’s license. We drove to the motel next to the school and I saw a sign for a jazz club and asked if he wanted to go out. He said “no, I’m just staying in the room.” Later that night he walked into the club. I saw what he was drinking and bought him one and walked over. I asked him why he didn’t come with me. Later he admitted that I was from Texas and wore cowboy boots. “They hang black folks in Texas.” Huh? Well, that was what he was told in New York. Geesh. We had a good time at the school, but he never trusted me because I wore cowboy boots and was from Texas. Knock off 14 years or so, and my oldest daughter comes home at 18 and informs me that she is pregnant. The father is a great guy, has a daughter already who he treats wonderfully and she is having the baby because he will be a good dad. Ok, not what I want for my single 18 year old daughter, but I can’t force her to make a decision. Turns out that he is a black guy from Jamaica. He avoids me like the plague. He doesn’t support her when my granddaughter is born. And after she is born, “we don’t do child support in Jamaica.” While he is impregnating the mother of his other child again while my daughter is carrying his child. He has never helped her or been in any way a father to my granddaughter. And for that, I consider him to be a worthless bastard. Not because he is black, but because he did not live up to his responsibilities. My oldest daughter is still a single Mom raising a wonderful talented daughter who turned 8 on December 31st. God what a beautiful child she is. And my daughter has done a great job of raising her. Alone. My middle daughter is in the Air Force, has a daughter that turned three last October. She is married to a white guy that is a fucking nut case and I would drop a hammer on him in a second because he is an abusive bastard. I told him, if you ever hurt my daughter or my granddaughter, there is no place on the face of the earth that you can hide. I hope he believes me. My youngest, he just turned 23 and has enlisted in the Navy. Following in Dad’s foot steps. Challenges, but if he gets through boot he will be ok. He brought a black girl home the other day and I found out because I went out to use the hot tub and they were in it. No problem. White, Black, Asian, I don’t really care. It is about living up to your responsibilities and treating others like you should. Honesty, respect, responsibility. Have I ever been with a black woman? No, I haven’t. There are several that I find to be incredibly sexy and beautiful women. Is it taboo? Yeah, from both sides of the race issue. Is it right? No, I don’t think it is. As I have said, it is about living up to your responsibilities and respecting and caring for others.

"A report on rape and sexual-based crime published by the United States Department of Justice stated that of the crimes surveyed, 56% of arrestees were "White", 42% were "Black", and 2% were of other races. The report additionally noted that "[v]ictims of rape were about evenly divided between whites and blacks; in about 88% of forcible rapes, the victim and offender were of the same race" You are right, almost half of the men arrested for rape are black, MORE then half of the men arrested for rape are WHITE.

In looking at your other posts I get the feeling you think your wife may capitulate to the point of giving some dude a hand job just to get you off her back or at some point she has let slip out that she may be willing to do that and now you are wondering if you should take the ball and run with it. To give an honest answer to your question it all depends on the context under which that handjob were to occur. Lets swich things around a little bit to show the importance of context because that is what is going to end up making all the difference in this situation. We'll use my wife for instance. If she and I and our kids were in the grocery store in the frozen food section and a guy came up and asked her if she would settle for "a hand" she would be upset and slap his face right there and by the time the police pulled me off of him the coroner may not have much to work with but the cause of death would be pretty apparent anyway. Now lets say that we were to have a date with another couple and they were upfront that they were soft swing and we all agreed to adhere to everyone elses limits and comfort levels. Then lets say we all went out and had a fun night partying and dancing and flirting and socializing. At the end of the evening things started getting warm and cozy and there was some smooching and making out and things were getting pretty hot and heavy. Then once the clothes were off and flesh was meeting the flesh the male half states that his comfort zone is pretty much just using his hands and fingers but that he will do the best he can and make it as good for her as possible. At that point in time she may say "go for it!" and would probably come away completely happy and satisfied. The point I am trying to make is a handjob is just an individual act, and in and of itself is relatively insignificant (by itself so is a fuck). It really depends on the circumstance and context for which it occurs. In the fun scenario described above I would be perfectly happy with a handjob if it were in the context of a fun couple and part of a globaly fun and sexy evening and the person giving it was motivated and into it and was giving it her all and was enjoying the experience herself. Now on the other hand if I got some random email from a guy that said, "My wife has agreed to give you a handjob if you want, are you interested?" The only time and energy I would expend into that would be to hit the 'delete' key. Are you able to see the difference?

Parts of a message exchange from today is repeated here. Single Guy X: Have a look at my profile and let me know if you are interested. Us: We're flattered that our profile has drawn your attention but we are not looking for single men. Single Guy X: But your profile didn't say anything about not looking for single men. So typical. Yes, there are some good ones out there. But it is so hard to sort through all of the buttholes. Sure, we have nothing in our profile about not wanting single men. Neither do we mention exclusions for sheep.

Tarry naught that you were lost at the first line, my child, for with age comes wisdom, and you are but a babe in these woods. Do not fear the BWB, for it seeketh not to steal your women or enslave your men, only to promote peace, harmony, and total understanding and acceptance of the multi-function remote throughout the cosmos. Go now.

A sad little story, but when a man feels deep down he shouldn´t be screwing a lady all sorts of disturbing things can happen - and in fact it happened to myself once. There are million reasons for this - and probably you will never know what exactly made him uneasy about it all. I can´t help mentioning an interesting comment made by Greg - that 60% of all white guys are having serious problems in bed with his wife, but black guys perform as a guy is supposed to do. I´m not trying to provoke and I´m definitely not trying to hurt your feelings (I´m a nice old bloke) - but men´s preferences are strange and perhaps a black guy would have no problems in bed with you. I remember too well the night my little one let me down - the lady simply was not something my body wanted. And thousands of women have rejected me (or would if necessary) because I´m not what their bodies need. So you understand the drift of my thinking. Good luck. V