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I don't go out swinging a lot. Bust just sometimes the need overcomes my partner and I and we will go to a party or meet up with some friends with a sexy outcome in view. We have to be careful the parties we choose as being a lesbian couple, we can spend the whole time explaining that while we like to chat to men - that's as far as it goes. So - our best time of all. We went to a hen party one night. We had agonized as we are in our 30s and the girl running this was only just 20. Would we be too old for everyone else there. We were for some, but we met a delightful pretty 'tomboy'. Just the sort to appeal to a couple of femme women! She was small, neat, short haired and looked wonderful. Was she going to be interested in either of us? Not at first. We chatted. My g/f is a nurse and so was our new friend so there was common interest. It was only when she saw another couple of girls getting into each other and started to talk about their sexuality that we realized that she was bi herself. I made myself scarce and left Ann and she to chat for a while. When I came back it was to find they had reached an agreement that our new friend Sally liked both of us but had been too nervous to say anything at first. We left the party and went back to my house. The rest of the night was wonderful. Sally was the most inventive of lovers. If readers of this just think lesbians finger each other and suck and lick a bit - we don't. Sally wanted to try every way of making love and Ann and I were only too happy to help her explore. Although she was small, Ann liked to be in charge. I had never been tied up and gagged before. It was wonderful. Me tied to the bed. Sally on my face and Ann playing with my clit. We were exhausted after that night. But we managed to repeat it many times afterwards. All were marvelous. The first was best.

I had to say it was a lifestyle. But we need to examine a bit exactly how we define "lifestyle". The reason I said, for us, it was a lifestyle is because, after being away from actively playing for as long as we have, I'm realizing that there are certain bells you can't un-riing. Can you go back to monogamy? Sure. We effectively have and it hasn't harmed our relationship at all. But we still fully agree with all the principles of swinging and it is our preferred relationship style. Just because it's more fun, and it does't make sense to limit ourselves this way when we don't actually need to. So I think as far as the psychology of it goes, it's definitely a lifestyle. It's just a different way of thinking and looking at things, a different way of measuring the success of our relationship. Whether or not we put it into practice is sort of beside the point, and the actual playing is more like a hobby.

This may shock some...but my real name isn't "good times". In person and in most correspondence we use our real names, why not, as someone else said first names are plenty anonymous. The only folks we ever met that used fictitious names in person was a couple who used to come to the clubs. He was an attorney that was very politically active, did TV and radio ads for his party and such. Funny thing is, by using fake names they just caused people to ask behind their back, "Isn't that "so-n-so" from TV?" To which we would always respond, "yes, but don't tell him because he doesn't know it. If they would have just used their real names nobody would have thought anything of it. As it was, by using fake names they called more attention to themselves than they would have received otherwise. Then again, maybe that was the point.

Discussing anything with your wife/SO is never a waste of time...but, badgering someone to try something they don't want to...not good. Your question is definitely one we see a lot around here. Here's a few links to other threads. Question about starting wife in MFM How can I convince my wife to have sex with other man or couple Any Men Whose Wives Refuse to Even Consider Swinging?