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We are a bf/gf swing couple and I personally don't see how things could be different. We are very much in love and I am very protective over Heidi and very observative of her level of comfort when playing with new partners. We are working towards marriage just like any other couple that sees a future together, but I must admit being unmarried does seem to throw up a red flag with some people until they get to see how close we are some jump to the assumptions that gf/bf couples are just using each other as a kickstand in the lifestyle. We have never been turned down because we weren't married. There have been some that have expressed concerns but after they see the connection we share and our interaction with each other they see that we really are as we say we are. In love. The only thing I see changing as someone else stated previously is our growth in the lifestyle. We evolve constantly and take every new experience as a learning experience. That is one thing that will never change.

Two tourists were talking to an old chap who had lived in the area his whole life. The old chap explains to them: "You see that church over there? I built that church. Do they call me Peter the church builder? No. You see that bridge over the river? I built that bridge. Do they call me Peter the bridge builder? No. .. but you suck ONE cock ..." Thats sort of how I view swinging. Once you are a swinger, its a mind set, even if you are no longer swinging. Unless you do a 180 mentally and decided the whole thing was wrong, you no longer share a lot of the same values/feelings that a majority of society does. So even if we were to quit swinging, and someday we will, we will still THINK like swingers, and thats what I think matters.

Bi-Girl, The more I see the two of you post the more I stand by my post to your husband. You two really need to take a break. There are many, many issues that you and him have to deal with before I would ever think of bringing other people into your relationship. Yes, you have the pussy but this is not all about you. You two are a couple, it is about both of you. Not one or the other "doing the driving" but in sharing the ride together. You brought up a lot of personal issues that really need to be dealt with also before thinking about swinging. You are still looking in the past about your father, worrying about your husband "fucking" some hottie. Why does he have to "fuck" the dogs while you have the hotties to make you feel better? That is about you, not about the "US" you should be thinking about. This is about being and treating each other as equals in all ways. About him or you being able to say anything to each other without one of you getting nuts on the other. About sharing experiences that you both can live with and enjoy and knowing that when it is over you are both happy and still together. I just see you both have way to many issues at this point in your life. I would stop and deal with those before I took another step in this Lifestyle. It is not going to be fixed this weekend over lunch, you two have a lot to deal with in your life. Good luck to you.

Hopefully Mr.fun4ds makes sense to you. He is my husband, my man. His ways of understanding are a little different at times (The cheese and all) But I get what he is saying.Yes, I've watched him support me patiently through a few years in this issue. I didn't know always how he felt. I know he didn't always know how I felt. I hope you understand how your wife feels. That is whats most important. Her feelings. It sounds like she is being your unicorn. Whats the problem other than the frequency? I had allot of the same feelings. It has to do with me connecting with the woman I would be playing with. That connection is what I wanted to share with my husband. Its not always the show for two males. Thats what most couples find on the net. We found one female/female bisexual couple and one submissive unicorn in two years searching the net. Thats pretty lucky. We do belong to a group from sls that is strictly for couples with bi females and single bi females only. Have you tried that in your search? And bare in mind these get togethers are some of the best we have encountered BUT.... Its more about us women than the men. If we want to put on a show we do, but we women as a group have much more control of any and all situations. The women there gave me the comfort and connection that I needed at the time.More than anyone els we had been with in the beginning. Guess what, When it comes to my bisexual side... ITS MY PUSSY!!! Does your wife tell you what man you will be playing with at the next get together? I cant say how your wife feels, I don't know her and actually would love to hear her side about now. I could relate to how she feels by the way you are explaining things. Thank you for that. But there again when it comes to playing with anyone, male or female the same rule applies. Ill pick and choose who I want to play with. ITS MY PUSSY !!! ") So now you call it quits because things aren't going as hoped for, and quiting while your mad at each other angry or fighting...... If its one thing we have seen with couples that have come as far as you two have. None have actually walked away and stayed away leaving the lifestyle angry. Usually they make up and come to agreements or Divorce in their anger. Only One couple we know of walked away so far we can say we know. They were calm and peacefull about it. They are still together.

Before I add my two cents, I would like to say that I agree with Lee. Its hard not to agree, because he makes sense with few words. I personally admire that. The end results are exactly what he points out and that would work with experienced swingers. But I have been through finding out things with a bisexual wife are not always 50/50 from beginning to end. Some times talking to my wife, I find out more about her.. by just listening. Its hard sometimes to understand because, 1. I'm not a woman. 2. I'm not bisexual. So what the fuck would I know about either, or how to get what we both want equally. Its not all (here is how it works sometimes) This has been at times another Maze in life. And yes when it gets confusing I feel like a mouse in a maze. Sometimes our relationship is not all swinger true. The payoff being the cheese, In this maze of a womans bisexuality. The cheese being getting what we both want. But ya know what, sometimes I feel like... Who Moved The Cheese?? Its how I listen to my wifes needs, and let her have her way sometimes. It may not be 50-50 every swinging experience. In our relationship I (COULDN'T) sit my wife down and explain how according to the swinging lifestyle we both get what we want today. Its how I venture through the maze of the unknown. I certainly wouldn't want to get fat off of the cheese and find myself not enjoying the adventure. I would rather go about the excitement my bisexual wife gives me sharing what I don't always know or understand. I love the knot knowing, the end results, and whats around the next corner. Welcome to the Swingers Board Bigirlandhubby, and the world of a bisexual wife Maybe thats true, but maybe she has more on her mind than you know about... Yet. She may want to explore the feelings she has about herself. Would you want to interfere with that ? Or embrace something that she might want you there for? In her own way. Ahhh, The cheese has been moved now. Its confusing as hell sometimes, I understand. But the thing is, these are women in your life. Your partner being the most important woman, perhaps in your life. Her feelings are not gone or impossible to find. Ask her how she feels, not what she wants. Listening to the answers is the key. They wont always be the answers you want, but the answers you and her need to deal with. Give her space, and time with her feelings, she has allot of things she may not be able to... Explain. Being on the sidelines as a supporter is not being left out. I would think she knows your there but needs security and your support. Honestly, I let my wife take the date making at one point. I have no regrets. STAND BESIDE HER. Or at least just a little behind her. I don't know much, but what I have learned about something I had no clue or good advice about when we began this different road in the lifestyle. I read the advice from bisexual women here on the board.. And listened to my wife. Its good sometimes to have someone show you the things you don't always understand. It takes time and a willing to let the unknown, with someone you are willing to trust, be the enjoyment.