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Seems like semantics for sure. A lifestyle includes a variety of aspects: the way a person lives, their social relationships, consumption, entertainment, attire, etc. A lifestyle is a mixture of habits and ways of doing things, and reflects an person's attitudes, values, and worldview. EVERYONE has a lifestyle, and for swingers sex-with-others is a part of it. (A big part for some, less-so for others: either way, it's an aspect of their "lifestyle".) A hobby is something a person does for entertainment, because they are interested and enjoy it, rather than for financial reward. Not sure how one can have any hobby that cannot be seen as part of their lifestyle. Seems what people really mean when they say "for me it's a hobby, not a lifestyle" (or vice versa) boils down to a matter of emphasis, a statement of their priorities and values.

The fact that this lady is not returning your messages is not a reflection on you. We realize that our advice won't make you feel instantly better, but you need avoid taking things so personally when it comes to the screening process in this lifestyle. Most of the people you meet will not be a good match, whether it be you for them or them for you. Furthermore, as rude as it may seem to you, many people find it easier to ignore messages than to give a simple, "no, thanks."